Awkward Feelings
by Lithium Choker
Summary: HGSS OOC The story of a disputed relationship that seemed too frivolous to last... pre sixth book, j.k.: breaker of hearts! This story won't be taken down after all.
1. How it all started

  
  
**Awkward Feelings**

****  
  
I just had to write something that was ok and I didn't leave hanging – I hate being left hanging – but lack of reviews cost me my enthusiasm and I gave them up. Please review if you want this story  
  
Summary: a simple love story – with as few strings attached as I could manage.  
  
Disclaimer: these wonderful characters do not belong to me but to JK Rowling – the talented writer who invented a character that stole me heart. (guess who?!)

* * *

Chapter 1: How it all started.  
  
Hermione sighed as she thumbed through the pages of the book. It was no use. She knew the whole book off by heart already and studying just made her head spin worse. Her eyes wandered to the quill next to the book and then the ink bottle next to that until finally she found herself starring out the large, arched window. It looked nice outside, it was unnaturally warm this April.  
  
She rested her head on her palm and let out another sigh. The giant squid in the lake was lazily propelling itself from one side of the lake to the other.  
  
Something clicked and she remembered she had to get back to studying.  
  
The pain was clenching in her head and she felt a flash of frustration when she spotted the word "potions" which she had seen at least 2000 times already. She leaped up from her seat, flung her chair back and picked up the book.  
  
She let out a loud scream, in frustration, and threw the heavy, fusty book across the room and into the wall.  
  
It collided with the wall, making a muffled "thud" noise.  
  
The whole of Gryffindor common room froze and stared at Hermione. Harry and Ron and Ginny had started to cautiously make their way towards her. She just stood there, breathing heavily as she stared at the crumpled red book on the floor. Her frizzy hair crackled with electricity from anger and her eyes blazed with a dangerous light.  
  
"Hermione..." Ron said slowly and cautiously. "Erm..."  
  
"Are you feeling a little stressed?" interjected Ginny with only a small amount of sarcasm. Hermione glared daggers at her but didn't answer.  
  
Harry handled the situation better than both the Weasleys. "Maybe you should step outside and get some air," he said firmly. She felt some of the anger fade into exhaustion and she sighed again. Nodding, she headed for the portrait hole.  
  
With a quick guilty look at the book lying on the floor, Harry sternly shook his head. Hermione knew he was right. Although she felt an incredible urge to pick up the book and take it outside with her, she knew it would defeat the purpose.  
  
Trying to gather as much dignity she could muster with half the common room still staring at her she strode out of the room.  
  
The second she closed the portrait behind her a wave of regret swept over her. NEWTs were less than two months away. She almost went straight back in if she hadn't thought of the firmness and honesty in Harry's expression. Yes - she was working too hard.  
  
With a longing look at the direction of the common room, she set off. She didn't take her time and practically rushed down the stairs to the Grand Entrance. The sooner this was over with, the sooner she could study again. Although she knew this attitude would not help her calm down, she couldn't fight it.  
  
She decided the maximum time she should spend outside should be 20 or so minutes, then she could catch up easily enough on her work.

Now that she had a time limit and a plan for her studying, she relaxed immensely.

* * *

She reached the lake and looked around, taking in the cool calming environment with as much enthusiasm as she dared. With a glance at the dirt at the shore of the lake, she reached inside her large robe pocket and wrapped her fingers around her wand.  
  
She spied a rock close by, picked it up and placed it where she wanted to sit. With a small graceful flick of her wand she transfigured the dark misshapen stone into a comfortable and rather large red, cushiony blanket.  
  
She found a long piece of grass and turned that into an enormous pillow that was big enough for 5 or 6 people to lie on. With a smug look of satisfaction she sat down and leaned against her pillow. Spreading her legs out in front of her, she took in a deep breath and prepared for a long break.  
  
The birds fluttered sluggishly overhead as her eyes slowly closed. The sounds of the trees moving slightly in the breeze filled her ears and she decided it wouldn't hurt to take a short snooze.

* * *

Hermione sat there quietly for 7 or so minutes, absorbing the good feeling, when her good vibes were violently disrupted.  
  
Footsteps were drawing near. She felt herself snap out of her daze. She blinked twice before bending her neck back as far as it would go over the large white pillow to get an upside-down view of whoever was approaching.  
  
Once she got a glimpse or who it was, she snapped bolt upright. All thoughts of relaxing had disappeared into oblivion. Professor Snape was walking towards her. She hoped with all her might that he would walk right past, then realised that that would cause him to walk into the lake. She did not take back that wish however.  
  
When he stopped beside her she held her breath, wondering if she might be in trouble or whether he was just here to insult. Hermione did not turn her head his way to acknowledge him but watched him from the side anyway.  
  
"May I sit down," it was not a question but not so much an order either. No you bloody-well may not! she thought to herself, but didn't say anything out loud.  
  
He sat down a fair distance away from her on the thankfully oversized blanket. She did not take her cautious eye off of him, refusing to blink. He did not lean back on the pillow however, preferring to remain upright and alert.  
  
This was the last thing she wanted, an uncomfortable discussion with Snape. He was his tense and usual stand-offish self. Finally, she turned to face him.  
  
"Am I in trouble professor?" she asked with as much snap as she thought appropriate. His face clouded for a mere half a second before he answered.  
  
"Not at all, unless you have something to hide?" he fixed a harsh stare on her, she didn't even flinch. "I wanted to enjoy the view too, unless this position is reserved for know-it-alls alone?" his snide remark did not sting as it once would have, merely reflecting off her. Instead of mulling over his comment she began to think of how ironic it was that he was most likely a know-it-all too, he fitted his multiple descriptions of one perfectly.  
  
Snape was not pleased when her mouth twitched slightly as she hid a smile. His black eyes seemed to burn for a moment.  
  
"Amused?" he asked, a subtle iciness about his voice.  
  
"No," Hermione said as firmly and surely as she could.  
  
His voice changed from accusing to inquiring, "Why are you outside so near to the exams? This is most unlike you." His tone was less icy and more confused. Hermione could feel all her dozing going to waste at the thought of the exams.  
  
"I...um... had an "outburst"...er... pretty similar to a nervous breakdown..." she trailed off slowly and lamely. Snape hardly looked surprised. In fact, his look of confusion lifted to be replaced by smugness. Hermione did not ponder this.  
  
"Ah... now that fits your character much better..." he nodded, his black hair swaying. His hair definitely suited his character, she found herself thinking. "What exactly happened?" he asked, pulling his brows together in mock concern.  
  
Hermione found herself tormented by the fact he was her teacher and she would have to answer him. A small amount of color rose in her cheeks. Putting herself in a defensive position, she looked her criticising professor straight in the eye. Taking a deep breath, at the same time wishing him to turn into a toad, she replied.  
  
"I got frustrated with studying so hard from this book..." she began "and when I reread the same word what seems like a million times, I got angry and..." her defensive posture was rapidly disintegrating "...and I kind of... well... I picked up the book and threw it at the wall and screamed..." she looked at her toes, not wanting to hear his distasteful remark but on he contrary, he looked shocked at her behaviour and there was a slight concern she did not catch while staring at her toes.  
  
"Do you know how to transfigure a sofa into a dragon?" His remark surprised her. She did not see its relevance.  
  
With a slight trace of her surprise she answered "Of course!".  
  
"Then that is Transfiguration out of the way, one less thing to concentrate on. Do you know all the spells in a Charming Way to Succeed off by heart? And can you perform them all?" He already knew her answer.  
  
"Yes..." her surprise and confusion was becoming more obvious.  
  
"Well then, Charms is pretty much done too." He glanced at her. "That takes two subjects off of your priority already. You figure out the rest." He then looked at the squid slowly spinning it's tentacles on the surface of the water.  
  
Hermione just sat there, quite shocked, realising he was right. She had pretty much mastered all the contents of the NEWTs before doing her OWLs. This revelation seemed to make a much bigger difference on Hermione than he had intended, though he hardly noticed this.  
  
Then her mind wandered back as to why he was sitting next to her to begin with, but she daren't ask him the reason.  
  
For five minutes there was absolute silence, but it was tense silence. With every second Hermione wanted to get up and leave more and more but felt obliged to stay as long as her professor was there.  
  
She didn't notice the sadness and depression in his eyes which many students had supposed to be a look of emptiness. Today was worse than usual but he was hiding it well.  
  
Finally, after what felt like an age, Snape broke the stillness with another irrelevant question.  
  
"Out of curiosity," his voice had no anger spite or indifference or any emotion whatsoever. Hermione did pick up on that. "you said that it was one word that put you over the edge. May I ask what it was?" Again she knew he wasn't asking.  
  
Hermione thought for a second, she couldn't remember the word and when she finally did she said it before she had even stopped to think. "Potions" she said and a second later clapped her hand over her mouth and looked at him, waiting for him to make her wish herself dead.  
  
But nothing happened. On the contrary, Snape looked at her blankly and then silently rose to his feet and, without a word of farewell, swept off back towards the castle. At least she was honest he thought dully to himself.  
  
Hermione just sat there as she watched his back. She had not expected that. It had been enough to set him off but she didn't understand why it seemed to make him... well... sad wasn't a description that fitted her professor at all, more like downcast and miserable. And it certainly did not seem like a reason for him to leave - not that she wasn't grateful of his disappearance.  
  
But now she felt something other than hatred for her potions master that felt uncannily like pity with a twist of interest. She misjudged this feeling by only a little. She knew that Snape did not need, nor did he care much for pity.  
  
She was blissfully unaware that this was the start of a change in direction, an unwilled alteration of destiny.  
  
She curled herself on her blanket far more comfortably now that she was not under the gaze of piercing black eyes. Her thoughts wandered to her friends and what they were doing at that moment.  
  
As she felt Snape fading from her mind, there was one subconscious part of her that knew something was not right.  
  
This was where it all began.

* * *

About 3 days after his encounter with Miss Granger, Severus Snape sat in his study of his chambers.  
  
His chambers were not too large or small with bookshelves in every room. His study had three high-backed green velvet chairs facing the fire, a desk for potion-making, covered with various items of curiosity, and beside a large ebony cabinet, there was a chessboard with dark green marble and pale silver marble pieces. The only light in the room was the fire in the fireplace and an unusually soft orange glow filled the entire room.  
  
His bedroom held a large bed with dark green sheets and a silver rim. The high drapes on either side were an even darker green, on which were hanging silver tassels. Beside his bed, on the black beside table, there was a pile of four books and a small silver statue of a cobra.  
  
And his storeroom need not be described because it was nothing more than a room full of shelves of certain ingredients for potions.  
  
Snape sat in the middle chair, of the three that faced the fire in his study. He was leaning slightly forward, his elbows on the armrests and his head resting on his hands. His raven black hair fell in dark curtains beside his sharp face. His pitch black eyes that resembled caves, appeared even more hollow than usual. His slender pale fingers tapped his cheeks continuously as he stared blankly into the fire.  
  
He felt so empty so miserable that he felt as though his insides had dropped a foot or two. His reluctance to move left him feeling fused to the chair. The mere thought of moving was out of the question.  
  
He still couldn't bring himself to come to terms with the news.  
  
He had known his little sister had been unwell for almost a week. His little sister, Stella, had always stood by him and been there for him, even in his dark days, when his parents had disowned him (not that he cared much about that) and she had always been one of the few he felt close to (the others being Dumbledore and his elder brother – but even his elder brother had not always supported him as she had).  
  
Stella had a graceful intelligence and had an understanding of people that he had never mastered. She would help him in those situations in which such knowledge should be needed, if it should occur.  
  
She had been the only reason he had turned to Dumbledore instead of killing himself after he realised his mistake in joining the Death Eaters.  
  
And now she was gone...  
  
He breathed in deeply at the sudden feeling of his heart being wrung like a wet rag by a pair of strong hands. It hurt too badly. He couldn't bear to stay awake any longer and take this torture.  
  
With a very strained movement, he peeled himself from the green chair and headed over to his work desk. Every movement was a struggle with his mind. He finally got there and slid open the desk drawer. Inside he found several round glass bottles with long necks and stoppers filled with many different colored potions.  
  
He reached forward and picked up the one containing a very clear crystal orange.  
  
Removing the stopper, he flipped his head back and downed the whole thing at once. He placed the empty container on the desk and started over to his bedroom. He only had a few minutes before the potion started to work fully.  
  
It seemed forever until he reached his bed, which he dropped into the sheets, without bothering to change. Finally he would have some release for his constant ache inside him that felt like it would never go away. A very quiet sigh escaped him and he pulled the covers up to his chest.  
  
With a final look at the silver snake beside his bed, he closed his eyes slowly. When he opened them again, it would be morning.

* * *

Hermione yawned and stretched, feeling good today after she had been easier on herself and eased some of the studying time from her schedule.  
  
Today everything looked good. Pavarti and Lavender were still asleep in the beds next to her. With a quick look at the time, she flung back the covers and slid out of bed, her feet fitting into her slippers, perfectly placed beside her bed. Skimming across the floor like she was walking on water, she felt as though someone had inflated a balloon in her chest to create a pleasant floating feeling.  
  
She headed for the shower, dumping her clothes for the day on her bed before doing so.  
  
10 minutes later she reappeared with her hair wrapped in a towel.  
  
She shuffled in her fluffy white slippers towards to the large round mirror in the center of the wall facing the beds, ruffling her hair with the towel as she went.  
  
Standing and looking in the mirror she felt the need to look nice today, to match her feelings. She reached for her wand and pointed it at her, performing some drying and curling spells on her hair until she ended up with large curly locks in place of her usual drab frizzy mess. She looked at her work proudly. Today was definitely going to be a fine day.  
  
Heading back to her bed she got dressed into her school robes. Once that was over with, she grabbed her bag and started for the door.  
  
Lavender stirred and looked up at Hermione just as she was about to leave.  
  
"Ooh! Hermione, I love your hair!" she said in wonder, while she removed the night spells she had placed in her own hair. Hermione just smiled in reply. Compliments only added to her good mood. Breakfast was no different than usual. Harry, Ron and Ginny were all discussing the usual, the news, anything interesting and how much they hated Snape and Trelawney.  
  
When Hermione arrived they all looked up. "Love the hair," grinned Ginny enthusiastically. Harry and Ron nodded. Ron had a trace of jam on his nose but she felt it better not to tell him about it this time.  
  
As soon as she sat down then they resumed their conversation.  
  
"So where do you suppose Snape is?" Ron asked as Hermione reached across him to get to the toast. Once she had had her toast, she looked up at the staff table and confirmed that he wasn't there.  
  
"It's a mystery to me, mate," shrugged Harry as he added some sugar and lemon to his pancake. "But all I know is, I'm grateful for whatever reason it is that keeps him as far away from us as possible." Ron nodded violently in agreement.  
  
"Now don't say that," said Ginny, the only one so far who showed any hint of caring, "for all you know it might be something really bad," she added seriously.  
  
"So?" said Ron genuinely raising his eyebrows. Hermione frowned as did Ginny.  
  
"How can you say that? What if he dies or something? Would care even in the slightest?" Hermione snapped, although she did not like Snape, to wish him dead was another thing entirely.  
  
Ron appeared to look thoughtful for a moment, searching for any ounce of compassion. Then he blankly looked at the three of them, "Not really." He then resumed his breakfast. Ginny gave him a disgusted look.  
  
"Really Ron, that is disgraceful, you cold hearted-pig," Ginny growled, "I am ashamed to call you my brother!" Ron looked up with a puppy face from his plate and the discussion broke down as Ginny forgave him.  
  
The subject moved away to other things and Snape was forgotten for the moment. 

First lesson of the day was Potions, and it was now obvious to all the students in Hermione's grade, something was seriously wrong. When they had come in, their teacher was nowhere to be found and after half a minute the panic had start to set in.  
  
Snape was late.  
  
There was a constant hum of muttering worried and inquisitive voices. The sound filled the air and made the concern levels sharply rise. Snape had NEVER been late, whatever the circumstances. He had always been waiting for them behind his desk, and he did not appear to be the kind of man who would suddenly break years of habit.  
  
Hermione however was silent, not answering when Harry or Ron asked her opinions on where he could be. Her good day was rapidly turning into a confusing one.  
  
She straightened her robes and leaned back into her chair as she thought. This had been the second time in three days that Snape was acting weirdly. Now she felt she should have concentrated more on his unusual behaviour by the lake, it might hold some answers.  
  
His reaction to a small insult that day she have been a clue enough to point to some emotional misbalance...  
  
She shook her head. The idea of emotions and Snape in her brain felt like two puzzle pieces that refused to fit together.  
  
Just then, a full twenty minutes after class had started, Snape burst in the door. The aged door slammed into the wall in its usual way and the whole class froze.  
  
If they hadn't been under his sight, they would have definitely started muttering again.  
  
Snape's hair was not a wild mess but it also was not neat and straight like they had seen it all their Hogwarts lives. His robes were not crisp and un- creased, not to mention the very light purple ring under each of his eyes. Hermione was sure she heard Lavender gasp.  
  
Although these were little differences that for a normal person would be ignored, they had never seen the slightest hair out of place as long as they could remember.  
  
But what surprised Hermione was the look in his eyes. She had failed to note the sadness in them at the lake and now it was obvious to not just her but the whole class. A thought occurred to her that maybe, all the time they had been sitting in his class under the gaze of his empty black eyes that they had never been empty...  
  
"Today we will be learning how to make a Good Will potion," he started in his normal voice, from which you could not tell that anything was wrong. But his walk continued to give him away. Instead of striding over to his desk with his robes billowing out behind him, he took average sized steps slowly to the front of the class.  
  
With a flick of his wand the steps appeared on the board. "You may begin..." the last word had leaked some of his exhaustion and he sank into his large chair. The class stared at him silently for a moment, then, afraid of a detention or sharp remark, started bustling around, collecting ingredients from the student storeroom.  
  
All the students including Hermione noticed how he had ignored the fact that he was late, offering no explanation. Maybe there was none to give? No, there was definitely something he was hiding.  
  
He did not march up and down the rows and more than once he ignored them completely, even when Neville's cauldron melted, again. He did not even look their way so Harry, Hermione and Ron had to help clean up the mess themselves.  
  
When the bell came, they brought their samples up to the desk as usual, even though this time, he did not ask them to.  
  
Students all dared a glance at their professor once before filing out of the room. The second they left the room, they began to discuss amongst themselves. The noise in the hallway was incredible considering everyone was whispering.  
  
Hermione stayed behind, gesturing Harry and Ron should go on without her. They gave her a questioning look before leaving and finally she was the last in the class.  
  
Slowly, without thinking, she approached the potions master.  
  
He looked right through her when she approached. New hair he thought blankly in the back of his mind better than the usual frizzy mess.  
  
"Er...Professor..." she said hesitantly, as though she was only just starting to realise what she was doing. "Are... are you ok?" His eyes snapped up and fixed up her so sharply she almost jumped. She regretted it almost instantly, what could she have been thinking?  
  
Snape's anger flared inside but his depression overrode it. The nerve that little witch has! But what came out of his mouth was nothing but a sigh.  
  
"Go away, Miss Granger," he said softly, but the threat in it was more than obvious. When she did not move, he gave her a half-hearted glare, but she didn't flinch in the slightest.  
  
"What is it?" he groaned, rubbing his temples with his fingers to prevent a horrible headache.  
  
"I was just wondering... I know the whole class was... what happened?" Hermione pressed, knowing damn well she was pushing it very far. The hatred in his glare became much more readable and visible. Now Hermione did flinch. Normally she wouldn't have expected to even to make it past that sentence, but today he wasn't acting normal.  
  
"I don't see why, Miss Granger, why you should even care?" he hissed gently. Hermione stayed stone silent. He nodded with a small, emotionless smirk. "Now, if you are quite done sticking your nose into other people's business..." Hermione blushed slightly, "please leave and enjoy the rest of your morning off before Charms."  
  
It was at that precise moment that she felt a pang of pity for her grouchy professor. Whatever had happened had left him a different person, almost nicer at the same time a more jealous man. His last sentence had unwillingly given her the impression he was envious of her ability to enjoy herself, carefree.  
  
She decided to quit while she was ahead. With a curt nod to Snape (which surprised him, having expected her to push it further) she turned and walked over to the door. Pushing her now curly hair over her shoulder, she turned back to look at him with her hand on the door handle.  
  
"I'll figure it out in the end. I always do," she said softly with a soft smirk and she pulled the door open and left.  
  
Snape just stared at the door slowly closing behind her with mixed feelings. She had had the exact affect on him she had wanted. He was slightly nervous at what she meant. What else had she figured out; he could only rest on the hopes that it was about stuff other than himself. (His hopes were generally correct, but he could not be certain.)  
  
**Damn her!** her glowered at the air in which she had just stood and continued to rub his temples gently.

* * *

Please R&R!!! Like?  
  
Forgive the lack of excitement as of yet (please bear with me as I try and keep them as much in character as possible).  
  
Of course it will end up with lots of fluff (sigh).  
  
So please review.  
  
Snakecharmer 


	2. A little crush?

Chapter 2: A little crush?

* * *

So far:  
  
Hermione had a nervous breakdown (due to NEWTs), threw her book at a wall and decided a walk outside might help. For some reason, Snape joins her and explains she has pretty much mastered her NEWTs already. He appears more despaired than usual but Hermione doesn't notice. Snape leaves after a small offensive remark by Hermione leaving her feeling slightly guilty and confused.  
  
Three days later Snape finds out his baby sister, closest to him, has died of a mysterious disease. He arrives late for class, with an air of depression and arouses the curiosity of his students, including Hermione.

* * *

Hermione flicked through her book, not concentrating on a single word. Snape's performance yesterday was all she could think of. Her naturally curios mind would not rest until she found the source of his sudden despondency.  
  
She sighed; the hair hanging over her face moved a little as she did so. It was hopeless trying to study while her mind was elsewhere. She closed her eyes shortly and thought of places in which she could research the cause for her professor's conduct.  
  
She pinched a curled lock of hair (she had taken to her new look well) between her fingers and fiddled with it as she thought and then it came to her. It wasn't the most brilliant idea she had ever had but the first place she should look should be all this week's Daily Prophets. She gently closed her book and flung her hair back over her shoulders before hurrying past Harry and Ron, who were studying beside her, without a word.  
  
They glanced up at her, then looked at each other and shrugged, returning to their own books and notes.  
  
She jogged up to the girls' dorm, a slight buzzing feeling filling her head. When she pushed open the door, Lavender and Pavarti were sitting on the same bed talking together. Pavarti looked up at Hermione.  
  
"Oh, Hermione," said Pavarti with a different kind of excitement. "I had a small revelation today! With your new hair, a café-crème colored lipgloss would go perfectly!" Hermione glanced at them.  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," she nodded dashing to her bedside table with today's and yesterday's Daily Prophet underneath her books. She searched inside the drawers and managed to find the one for the day before as well, that left her with the four previous ones to find.  
  
Her brown eyes flickered over to Pavarti and Lavender but she knew they didn't even bother getting the Daily Prophet just the Sunday version. Maybe Ginny had kept them...  
  
She tucked the three newspapers under her arm and with a quick smile at the other girls; she opened the large wood door and walked back into the dimly lit staircase. She raced up the steps to Ginny's dorm with a little nervousness, what would she do if no-one still had them? She didn't let it get to her, just hoping Ginny would have them still.  
  
She reached the door and knocked before entering.  
  
Ginny was sitting on her bed in front of a levitating mirror, plaiting her long red hair that seemed to darken by the year. Other 6th years were there too, but she ignored them and started for Ginny.  
  
She noticed Hermione in the mirror and turned her freckled face to her with a small grin.  
  
Hermione replied with an unenthusiastic grin back. "Listen, Ginny, do you happen to have the Daily Prophetss from last Tuesday to Friday?" she was almost pleading which did not astonish Ginny in the slightest. She paused thoughtfully, squeezing her brows together.  
  
"Actually," she said slowly, "I think I have this whole month's worth of newspapers-" Ginny had to stop because Hermione was now squeezing her with a quick hug. "Ooff! You seem happy."  
  
Ginny got up off the bed, sliding and messing up the bedcovers as she did. She headed for one of the chest of drawers to her left, reached a hand for the third drawer and prised it open.  
  
Hermione tut-tutted at the scene that lay before her: the drawer was filled with old sheets of parchment that looked useless and old newspapers. Ginny blushed a little. She grabbed the top 8 and looked at the dates on each. She took the ones Hermione wanted and put them into and small pile on top of the chest.  
  
"What is this about anyway?" she asked as she found the final paper needed and put it on the top of the pile. She looked at Hermione and was surprised to see that she had already taken the Daily Prophets and was on her way to the door.  
  
"Just some personal research," she said in a carefree tone. Halfway through the door she called "Thanks a ton Gin!" before she was gone.  
  
Ginny frowned in confusion but would forget all about it a few minutes later.

* * *

Hermione started with the last, deciding to work her way forwards slowly. Just in case, she decided to skim through the title's of all of them, just in case anything with the word "Snape" came up in the headlines. It would save her a lot of time if it did.  
  
...  
  
After putting down the last paper, she decided she was going to have to do this the painfully long way.  
  
She pulled back her hair into a loose ponytail to work better. She took a deep breath and started to search for his name.

* * *

Severus paced his study in quick long strides; his black cloak billowed out behind him and whipped when he turned to retrace his steps. Since this morning he had slowly regained the urge to keep living. His depression was still eating his insides but he was now becoming at least a shadow of his normal self.  
  
He could not believe himself for his performance yesterday morning. He stopped pacing and frowned. He had completely lost all traits that kept the students certain that they should not mess with him. To prove him own point he thought of Miss Granger, he had lost character for one lesson and she had dared approach him with a personal question! The nerve.  
  
He panicked a little at her last comment that she would figure it out anyway. Would she follow through? Would she somehow find out? He didn't want to think so, he convinced himself that that was impossible.  
  
He shook his head to try and banish that horrible memory and glided to the potions table. There was always a potion that sorted every ailment. Every day usually ended up in him making a potion for himself. Tonight it was a Stress Release potion.  
  
He pushed some of his smooth ebony hair behind his ear before reaching for his herbs...  
  
Little did he know that Hermione was minutes from finding the cause for his depression.

* * *

It was only by chance that Hermione saw it. She hadn't even planned to look at the obituaries but as her as glided over from one page to the next she finally spotted the word "Snape". For one confusing moment, Hermione jumped to weird conclusion that Snape had died and now some weird ghost or look-a- like had taken his place.  
  
A moment later she realised how stupid that idea was and looked closer at the name: Stella Snape.  
  
Hermione had never heard of her, not that that was a surprise seeing as how well all the students knew Snape's private life. Was it his mother? His sister? His cousin? His wife?  
  
She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes; she would have to find out more about this Stella person and exactly what her relation was to Snape. She found herself sure that it wasn't his wife, because at what time of the year would he get to see her?  
  
She stood up. Tomorrow before breakfast she would look up the wizards' family trees in the library. She glanced at her schedule; there was Potions tomorrow. She would have hoped for a little more time than that until she saw the Potions Master again; that would have given her time to figure it out completely...  
  
But for tonight, her work was done.

* * *

The next morning Hermione was so ensconced in the library that she missed breakfast and had to go straight to the dungeons.  
  
She was cutting it very fine. Looking at her watch she saw that she might not make it. She ran the last stretch so as not to be late, hair and bag flying behind her along with her robes. Skidding to a stop just in front of the door, she saw people were just about to get settled and smiled in relief.  
  
Pushing the shoulder strap of her bag into a more secure position, she sped over to the boys and sat down quickly behind her cauldron and desk. Harry and Ron gave her a quizzical look.  
  
"Where have you been?" said Harry in an accusing tone. He leaned across Ron, as though it would help him hear her reply. He brushed back a black tuft of hair covering his face with his fingers.  
  
"You've been acting secretive lately," Ron agreed, pushing Harry back into his seat as he did. "What's up?" He asked with more concern than blame in his voice.  
  
"It's nothing," said Hermione, waved a hand like she wanted to brush the subject aside. Both the boys now scowled at her.  
  
"Hermione..." warned Harry, "Don't think you're going to get past us that easily." A violent nod from Ron "Now, tell us, what exactly have you been up to? Where were you at breakfast today?" The frowns vanished from their faces as fast as they appeared. Hermione smiled to herself. There was almost nothing she could hide from the boys. At the same time, she felt like she should not give out the personal information of the least liked teacher in the school...  
  
"Alright," she sighed, leaning closer and lowering her voice to nothing more than a whisper. "I have-"  
  
"Settle down," ordered Snape from the front of the class. Hermione was forced to stop and gave them a look that said leave this till later then turned to face the Potions Master at the front of the class.  
  
She stared at Snape, in her mind she was now starting to think of him as an object to be unravelled and studied or a book to be read.  
  
Snape had returned to normal, the class could see. Some people were disappointed and others relieved that their professor was back to his predictable self. Hermione wondered whether it meant he had stopped being despondent or just pulled himself together and stopped showing his depression.  
  
"The instructions are on the board, you know what to do," he glared at them all as if daring any of them to ask him what happened, like Hermione had done.  
  
She decided on watching him until she had to go gather her ingredients, and resuming her observations when she returned. Maybe he would give a hint of what he was feeling if he let his guard down.

...  
  
Snape did not like the way Hermione was acting in the slightest. Her actions were unnerving. Every second he looked up from his desk, the Granger girl would be staring right at him.  
  
Had she found out about his little sister? If she had, how come so soon? No. She couldn't have; she was probably just either hoping he would drop some large clue for her or just trying to make him feel worried.  
  
He was not in the mood for the tricks of a know-it-all student. But now he had to make sure that he didn't show any emotion on top of feeling like shit. But that wasn't too hard; it was one of the things he did best.  
  
He looked up and directly at Miss Granger. She blushed and went back to her work, ignoring him as well as she could.  
  
He realised that there might be no sufficient way to get her to leave his private life alone.

...  
  
Hermione's thoughts drifted, the more she stared. She began to notice the little things no one else did, like how his hair was not greasy in the slightest. It was merely a trick of the light in the dungeon.  
  
The way he moved was another unknown reflection of him; he walked cautiously and gracefully but with purpose. His large robes followed behind him and swept around corners as he strode among the tables. His pitch black eyes flickered across the room, coolly, searching for a reason to lose his calm.  
  
She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she almost let her potion boil too long. Jerking back to reality, she listed to the left to take her cauldron off the flame.  
  
It was a good thing she hadn't already had a grip on the handle because a second later she leaned a little too far and lost control of her chair.  
  
She put her hands in the air in a vain attempt to straighten her chair, hopelessly, and there was a loud crash as the chair hit the floor, followed by a soft thud from Hermione's head colliding with the icy stone slab.  
  
The whole class stopped what they were doing and looked up. Hermione lay on the floor beside her cauldron, face hidden by a mass of light chocolate curls. Her robes puddled around her and she wasn't moving.  
  
The only people doing anything were Harry, Ron and Professor Snape. Harry and Ron were beside her in seconds holding her head up and checking to make sure she was alright. Harry was checking her pulse and Ron pulling back her hair to see if there was any bleeding.  
  
Snape, however, appeared relaxed. He was there in a few strides and even paused to take her potion off of the fire.  
  
"She's fine," he snapped at the boys, who he felt were making way too much of a fuss over a small knock on the head. Both of them glared at him with death wishes shining in their eyes. They had obviously taken it the wrong way, thinking that he was not bothered to take care of a student in need when he had simply meant she was fine.  
  
He looked down at her. This was a good distraction for him. His classes were boring him more and more as the years went by.  
  
His point about her condition was proven a second later when she started to stir already.  
  
She lifted her head and rubbed it gently, sitting up. She blinked vigorously and looked up. The first thing she saw, or at least guessed she saw, was Professor Snape. She couldn't tell because her eyes were watering badly.  
  
She groaned and pinched her eyes shut several times more. "Sorry, Professor Snape," she mumbled. He did not see the need for the apology but did not reply.  
  
"Miss Granger, go to the hospital wing at once. Leave your things," he glanced at apathetically at the two boys, "I'm sure they will be taken care of." He offered her a hand to help her up out of common courtesy.  
  
"Really, professor," she said anxiously, "I'm quite fine. That's not necessary..." she accepted his hand anyway.  
  
He pulled her up off the floor and she found his grip to be abnormally strong. He released her a split second later. With a hard look her way he shook his head firmly.  
  
"No. You just passed out. You must go to see Mme Pomfrey immediately," he replied sternly with as little feeling in his voice as he could. Harry nodded in reluctant agreement, as did Ron.  
  
"But, sir-" she decided it better to let it drop when he gave her a poisonous look. Falling silent she skulked to the door resignedly. She found herself not wanting to leave, but she didn't feel as good as she had let on and felt an unusual urge to sleep.  
  
Snape on the other hand was happy to be rid of her. Her disturbing staring had been making him infinitely uncomfortable.  
  
As soon as she was gone, he turned on the rest of the class. "Well," he hissed dangerously, "don't just sit there waiting. Get back to work." He left the two to tidy up and resumed his pattern around the desks, inspecting everyone's potion down to the finest detail. There was a small instant where Snape felt maybe he should have sent someone with Granger to make sure she did not fall asleep on the way to the hospital wing. He dismissed the thought, knowing she would be smarter than to give in to sleep.

* * *

She had made it to the hospital wing just fine. But the second she lay down on one of the beds, she almost fell asleep before madam Pomfrey managed to snap her out of it.  
  
A few doses of several different potions later, she had nothing to do but think. Staying in the Hospital Wing was lacklustre, way too tedious. She sighed.  
  
Clutching the bright white sheets, she pulled them up to her chin. She was thinking about Snape. She half-heartedly tried to push the thoughts out of her head by habit more than wanting to.  
  
She wasn't thinking along any specific lines, just about him in general. The way he walked, his piercing black eyes...  
  
A horrifying thought crept into her mind. Was she starting to get a crush on him? She bit her lip and shook her head to try and clear her mind. But even when she closed her eyes, she could still see him, standing in front of her.  
  
She could feel her heartbeat speed up the more she thought and a pinching feeling at the base of her throat that swallowing could not subdue.  
  
With a deep shuddering breath, she pulled the sheets up right over her head but it didn't help. Realising that she was running out of fresh air, she pushed them back down again and closed her eyes. Maybe she could clear her mind of everything. The very idea that she now liked her professor was too much to handle.  
  
Luckily classes would end in a few minutes and she could expect Harry, Ron and maybe even Ginny if they found her on the way. She decided to shove this weird feeling to the back of her mind and concentrated on her friends.  
  
It was almost Hogsmead week-end, she contemplated. Maybe she should go buy a few more books, for distraction more than anything else. She could use a dream translation book, since she didn't take divination, not that she wished she did.  
  
She pondered this for a short while and then her predictions came true as the door of the hospital wing burst open and Harry and Ron bounded over to her. She looked up at them and grinned.  
  
They both snatched a couple of chairs and dragged them up as close to her bed as they could.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Ron frowned anxiously, studying her to make sure she was not hurt. She giving gave them each a tender smile. It was sweet of them to be so protective.  
  
"I'm fine, really," she argued, pushing herself up straighter in bed. Harry's hand pressed her back down by her shoulder. She frowned sarcastically at him.  
  
"Lie down, you'll get better quicker," said Harry firmly. Hermione looked at them defiantly and pushed herself back up.  
  
"I am perfectly alright," she snapped, without any real bite. "I think it was totally unnecessary for me to have to leave the class over a little bump on the head!" she scoffed. The boys looked confused.  
  
"You wanted to stay?" said Ron, shocked at the very idea, "It was a perfect excuse to get out of potions! Does your health matter less to you than a potions lesson?" unable to come to terms with the possibility.  
  
Hermione looked a little guilty, "Well-" she started, but Harry scowled at her, "no, I suppose not..." she said apologetically.  
  
The subject of conversation quickly changed.  
  
"Did you know, Snape's going away this weekend?" Ron said, sounding excited. "A whole weekend! I only wish it was on a day with potions..." he stared off into space, dreaming of the prospect.  
  
"What? Leaving? Why?" asked a perplexed Hermione.  
  
"No idea," shrugged Harry, "that's all we know. It's probably just some family emergency, you know."  
  
Hermione put two and two together promptly. Her eyes grew and she mouthed the word "oh". Of course, it made perfect sense. She suddenly felt a wave of sadness for Snape, as though she was feeling his pain. It was probably the funeral he was attending. In the Library that morning she had found out their relation. Stella Snape was his younger sister and from the way he had been acting, she could tell they were close.  
  
"What is it?" asked Harry. "What's with the funny looks?" Hermione could have slapped herself. She should learn to control her facial expressions better – that thought alone was enough to make her think of Severus Snape and his undeniable good ability to master his.  
  
"Yeah," Ron added, making things only worse, "you were going to tell us the reason you've been so occupied recently. Is there a connection?" Damn it! She should have been more discrete. She decided it would be simpler to tell them now than dance around it for a while.  
  
"Ok..." she sighed; the boys shuffled closer, "You know how strangely Snape was acting on Monday?" They nodded vigorously.  
  
"I wondered about that..." said Ron, Harry shushed him.  
  
"Well... I decided to do a little research of my own into the matter..." They were leaning further forward now with anticipation. She looked at them closely, "Please don't let on to anyone else including Snape that you know?" she pleaded.  
  
Harry seemed to seriously consider it but Ron just replied with "Depends what it is that we're about to find out," with a small evil smile. Hermione gave him a sickened look.  
  
"His little sister has died of some disease," she snapped at him. Ron flinched back as though she had spat in his face. He looked less pleased and Harry mimicked her earlier reactions with a small "oh".  
  
"Hermione, I didn't know..." said Ron guiltily, "I didn't mean that..." She knew he didn't but his reply had struck a sensitive nerve. She looked at him and groaned in frustration.  
  
"It's ok, really," she said but didn't look him in the eye.  
  
She was getting defensive about Snape and she knew she would have to stop if she didn't want to give anything away. Her feelings were like a small fire that refused to be extinguished.

* * *

The second she got out of the Hospital Wing she didn't go directly back to the Gryffindor tower, but instead she determined to go outside and sit by the lake. She supposed it was in vein hope of Severus joining her as before.  
  
Severus: a name that suited him very well and when she thought it she felt instantaneously uncomfortable. But the uncomfortable feeling was melting into a strange kind of excitement so that the name now made her shiver.  
  
But her hopes of seeing him were dampened when she sat there for just under and hour without spotting him.  
  
With a sad look around she got up and headed back to the castle.

* * *

Chapter 2 and the love is already in the air!  
  
Please R&R!!  
  
Kisses and Hugs to those who reviewed my last chapter.  
  
Snakecharmer 


	3. Daydreams

  
  
Chapter 3: daydreams

* * *

So far:  
  
Hermione had a nervous breakdown (due to NEWTs), threw her book at a wall and decided a walk outside might help. For some reason, Snape joins her and explains she has pretty much mastered her NEWTs already. He appears more despaired than usual but Hermione doesn't notice. Snape leaves after a small offensive remark by Hermione leaving her feeling slightly guilty and confused.  
  
Three days later Snape finds out his baby sister, closest to him, has died of a mysterious disease. He arrives late for class, with an air of depression and arouses the curiosity of his students, including Hermione. She decides to research what could cause his despondency, starting with a weeks worth of daily prophets. She finds out about his sister.  
  
After a class which involved Hermione staring at Snape and managing to unnerve him, she falls and hits her head. While in the hospital wing, Harry and Ron manage to squeeze the good out of Hermione about Snape's behaviour. Hermione in turn learns that he will be leaving for a weekend.  
  
She also starts to feel the start of a small crush on Snape forming and is shocked at herself.

* * *

Every minute of every hour that Thursday was getting more and more painful. Hermione felt at though, on top of new feelings, she was sharing Snape's burden of pain. She had never met this Stella person but that morning at breakfast she had looked his way and caught the sad glint in his eyes.  
  
It was then that she started to wonder how it must feel to lose a sister who you were close to. Although she knew that her misery was nothing compared to his, she began to get a vague idea.  
  
The further on in the day it got, the more she thought about how upset he must be. The harder she thought, the more depressed she herself got.  
  
By the evening Harry and Ron were starting to worry about her.

* * *

She sighed for the fifth time that minute as she added the finishing touches to her Transfiguration essay. Her quill made scratchy noises that were annoying her progressively. Her hair fell in front of her face as usual in a curly brown curtain.  
  
Ron had had enough. He slammed his quill down and spattered ink on his own essay. Turning to Hermione he frowned.  
  
"What's going on?" he snapped in aggravation, turning to stare at Hermione.  
  
She looked up, genuinely surprised.  
  
"Huh?" wearing a perplexed look.  
  
Harry looked up from his work to watch.  
  
"What's with you today?" he continued, "Ever since this morning you've been getting sadder and sadder. Why?" he asked forcefully.  
  
"I-w-I-" stammered Hermione, not quite knowing how to reply. Ron raised his eyebrows to her, showing he was waiting for her answer. "I... don't know," she finished lamely.  
  
Ron scowled, "You don't know why you're upset?" there was a large dose of sarcasm that came with that comment. She didn't dare nod. She didn't want to let on how much she was thinking of Severus Snape.  
  
"I'm panicking about the NEWTs," coming up with the solution as she said it, sounding convincingly culpable. Ron's glower softened as he appeared to understand.  
  
"Oh... I'd thought that after that walk outside almost a week ago... well..." he muttered looking like it was somehow his fault, "that you were pretty much over the stress of studying..." she felt a little sorry for Ron. He had been able to read her well for once and she had to make out that he hadn't.  
  
"Well," she said, trying to hint that he was getting better at reading her, "it was an easy mistake to make. Instead of getting angry with studying, I was getting upset." It sounded slightly stupid to her but both Harry and Ron lapped it up.  
  
"Maybe you should get an early night," suggested Harry, trying to be helpful. She smiled gratefully at them.  
  
"Thank you, for being so understanding," she said and hugged them both before heading up to bed.  
  
...  
  
As she began to take off her school robes, her mind began to wander again. With every ounce of concentration she could muster she steered her thoughts clear of any fantasies, for the moment.  
  
As soon as she was changed and under the safety of her bed covers then she would let the fantasies come gladly, one after the other. Well, maybe not gladly. She had still not come to full terms with the fact that she liked Severus Snape, Potions Master.  
  
She found that, before her head had even hit the pillow, he had already taken over her thoughts.  
  
With a small, nervous smile, she snuggled up under the sheets and pinched her eyes shut.

* * *

Hermione woke up feeling a thousand times better and very cheerful. Not only had she got a full night's sleep but she found that a portion of daydreams did the world of good for her own rising depression.  
  
She grinned to herself, the whole time she was in the shower. As she lathered the banana shampoo into her soaking hair she attempted to relive her favourite reverie. She rinsed the sweet smelling bubbles and she felt slightly sad again, because, despite them being pleasant fantasies, that was all they were: fantasies and not reality.  
  
Frowning reflectively, she wished strongly that these dreams were real.  
  
The idea of liking her professor was coming a lot easier and she was warming up to it considerably. This was one of those feelings, she knew, that could only grow.  
  
Stepping out of the shower, she seized her towel and wrapped it around her.  
  
Maybe there was something she could do to make them reality. Although the thought terrified her at first, the more she contemplated it, the more she got excited. Her brain buzzed as she buttoned up her shirt.  
  
As she raced down the spiral steps, a growing sensation of light-headedness took over. The image of Severus walking down the hall, cloak flowing out behind him was enough to excite her now.  
  
Anyone who didn't really know Snape and found out she liked him would have perhaps thought her rebellious to go for a dark wizard. But the thing that put it over the edge was the fact that he had a good soul. He was merely cloaking himself with his sinister reputation.  
  
Her fascination and interest was only stoked by his attempt to isolate himself from the rest of population.  
  
A small plan was formulating in her mind:  
  
First: she would test how far she could push her luck.  
  
Second: she would find out more about him  
  
Thirdly: she would catch him off guard  
  
Fourth: (this part was sad but had to be done) cover it all up again  
  
That summed up her plan, with practically no detail. Today they had one last Potions lesson before next Monday and she would put forth phase one of her idea.  
  
She met the boys at the portrait hole and walked silently with them as they pushed open the frame of the fat lady and strolled down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Luckily they just assumed her silence was due to her "depression caused by the NEWTs".  
  
She was now incredibly nervous. How exactly had she imagined she could pull this off?

* * *

Severus woke up under his dark green sheets and for a few minutes forgot that Stella as dead. Everything was normal and he was at peace. It was only when he realised he shouldn't be at peace that it came back and swamped him, very nearly choking him.  
  
He was quickly coming to terms with her decease. He had already accepted the fact that there would always be an empty void inside him which could never fill and that he must learn to live with it.  
  
He had done the same when his asshole father had killed his mother about 15 years ago. It had taken him a long time then but now he knew the stages he hoped he would be over it quicker.  
  
He realised sadly that soon he might be the only Snape left.  
  
He silently slipped out of the covers and changed into a long dark green bathrobe and made his way over to his shower.

* * *

Morning came and went, as did lunch and by the time it was Potions Hermione could have sworn her heart was pounding in her throat. But just because she was nervous did not mean that she would chicken out.  
  
Taking an enormously deep breath as they waited outside the dungeons in line, she looked at Harry and Ron to make sure they weren't watching her. She didn't want another "confrontation".  
  
Snape was on his to let them into the class and when he billowed past Hermione had to restrain herself from smelling his scent and closing her eyes. She couldn't fight the small rush of blood to her cheeks however. She hoped no one had noticed.  
  
His slender hands grasped the metal ring and he pulled the door open. The classes filed past him, Slytherins first. When Hermione had to shuffle by him she thought it wise not to look at him, seeing how she had made a fool of herself last time staring at him.  
  
She took her place near Harry and Ron as usual. And the lesson began.

* * *

Hermione patiently worked through the potion, waiting nervously to the end of class, when part one of her plan would be set into motion. Although she appeared cool, and refrained from looking at him at all, in an attempt to cancel out her gawking at him all last time, she tapped her foot feverishly under the table the whole time.  
  
Finally the lesson drew to an end.  
  
As the students trumped back out through the door in their usual monotonous way, Hermione stayed behind. Since it was the last lesson of the day, there was no rush.  
  
Snape gave her an icy glare when she did not leave. He was not aware that it would not affect her and made her want to smile, of course she more sense than to do so.  
  
His glare deepened when she began to approach.  
  
"What is it this time Miss Granger?" he sighed sarcastically. Hermione knew to leave her answer until she was standing right in front of him. But to stop him thinking she had just ignored him she looked up and caught his gaze.  
  
She really, really loved his eyes, she concluded as she looked deep into them, so captivating and powerful, maybe even mysterious.  
  
When she was standing less than a foot away she replied.  
  
"I'm so sorry about Stella..." she mumbled and looked at him compassionately. He froze sharply. Never taking his eyes off of hers she managed to read the reeling emotions in them. First there was a rush of grief followed by a hint of confusion then a little anger crept into his features.  
  
"How-" he started then stopped. He was going to ask how she found out, but remembering who she was he realised it didn't matter. "Forget it," he sighed gloomily.  
  
Hermione dared to move forward. Here goes. She reached forward and put a hesitant but comforting hand on his upper arm. He flinched in surprise, but did not move away. After a short expression of confusion, Hermione spoke.  
  
"I really am sorry," she said sincerely, "If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask." Snape stayed silent but nodded.  
  
With a gentle squeeze, she let go and turned to leave. She knew she appeared as cool as she had intended and was really happy. Inside her heart was pounding against her rib cage so hard that she felt she had just run a mile in under five minutes.  
  
As she walked through the doorway she wondered if it were possible she was the only student who had voluntarily touched Professor Snape. To feel his warmth through the sleeve of his robes made her heart race even faster.  
  
The second she had turned and was out of his sight she leaned against the stone wall, put a hand just bellow her neck tilted her head towards the ceiling. Breathing in deeply, she tried to get as much oxygen as she could to her brain. Maybe she was just making a big deal of this stupid crush or it could be that it was more than that.  
  
Stage 1: complete. She now could predict a little, the outcome of Stage three. He had not jerked his arm away as she had been afraid he would.

* * *

Snape watched her leave, not quite sure of what just happened. He did not understand the girl. She had just come up to him and apologised for his loss then touched his arm. Why? What was that Granger-girl playing at? It had been very Gryffindor-like of her to try and be the only one who would be there for him.  
  
He shivered. Her talk implied she wanted some kind of friendship or anything...-something other than a teacher-student relationship. He shoved that thought away. Not possible. It probably just came out wrong.  
  
But it was sweet of her at the same time. He could not believe himself for thinking that. But he admitted to himself that he did, in fact, appreciate the gesture. Unusually enough he was glad someone knew and cared, other than Dumbledore. The last person he expected sympathy from, however, was the one girl who had never got less than one hundred percent on her work, yet he had never given her the slightest hint of recognition. Now she was coming to him with compassion? He shook his head. He did not understand.  
  
Now he thought about it, he realised she did not look much like the girl he had once taught. The change of hair had made the transformation more obvious. She was now an attractive young woman, not that it was his place to judge. He did not comprehend his own thoughts any longer. Everything just got flipped upside-down.  
  
But despite his confusion he still felt grateful for her sympathy, much to his surprise.

* * *

So sorry for the short chapter. Really.  
  
PLEASE review – is it too boring? Do I need to have more funny things to lighten the mood? Would lightening the mood ruin the story?  
  
I really hope it's not boring.  
  
Love n stuff! Thank you reviewers!  
  
Snakecharmer 


	4. Snape's chambers

Chapter 4: breaking and entering

* * *

So far:  
  
After Snape acts strangely in class, Hermione decides to do some digging and finds out that his little sister just died. Feeling bad for him inevitably leads to her discovering a strange liking for him.  
  
She comes up with a plan that will satisfy her weird feelings temporarily, not really understanding what she is getting herself into. After class she puts in action phase 1: finding out his initial reaction to touch.

* * *

Snape was leaving later that night but Hermione knew that she couldn't begin stage two until tomorrow. Since it was Hogsmead weekend, she concluded that that would be the best time. Snape would be gone and she could stay behind on the pretence of wanting to study.  
  
The one part that scared her the most, not counting the actual rule breaking, was having to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak without him knowing. But apart from this, Hermione did not feel the full weight of what she was actually planning to do. Her logic was impaired by her heart.  
  
There was a fuzzy kind of excitement rising deep inside her.  
  
When she went to bed, she snuggled herself up under the covers and relaxed, letting her imagination take control.  
  
She wondered what exactly it would feel like to have Snape's arms wrapped around her waist and to feel his warmth, not just from her finger tips like today, but from her whole body, to be sheltered by him.  
  
She smirked to herself in bed, without being aware of it.  
  
What would it feel like to have his fingers stroking her hair as she rested her forehead on his shoulder? What would it be like to be able to stare into his eyes and see a reflection of her emotions?  
  
She chose the setting to be the side of the lake, exactly where it had all started for her. They would both be lying on the large red blanket and pillow. He would be holding her close to him so that when he breathed she could feel the air brush the back of her neck, giving her shivers.  
  
She would be able to feel his heart through his soft black robes that suited him so well. And he would talk softly to her all night as they sat under the large pale moon.  
  
Hermione sighed and in seconds, she was asleep, a tender smile planted on her features.  
  
The morning could not come soon enough.

* * *

Next day Hermione leapt out of bed the moment her she opened her eyes. She stretched; her heart sped up nervously as she prepared to go downstairs.  
  
She skipped down the steps and did the last two buttons on her shirt before pulling on her robes on her way. She slowed at the last few steps, trying desperately to hide her bubbly excitement from Harry and Ron. Pinching her lips together she repeated in her mind the excuse she was going to use, just to be sure she didn't give off any uncertainty.  
  
Ron awaited her at the base of the staircase with a grin and she seized the opportunity to vent some happiness by beaming back.  
  
"Where's Harry," she asked, struggling to force the smile off of her face.  
  
"Oh, he was still getting dressed when I left him..." he said offhandedly.  
  
"Listen, Ron," she started, "I think it would be better if I did not go to Hogsmead with you guys today. I really have study," she said with an amazingly convincing look.  
  
"What?" He frowned, eyes flicking to the boys staircase for a split second as he saw Harry come down, then back to Hermione. "Hermione," he sounded exasperated. "You are the last person who needs to study. You deserve a break." He rolled his eyes.  
  
Hermione firmly shook her head. Harry finally stumbled over to them with a toothy grin. "Hey," he struggled to straighten his robes as he said it, "Did I miss anything?"  
  
"Hermione wants to stay here and study today..." said Ron with distaste, looking away from her.  
  
Harry turned on her, "Aw, Hermione!" he said enthusiastically, "Please come?" Hermione temporarily forgot about herself because she noted the unusual lively happiness in his voice that she herself was feeling. She had a firm suspicion that Harry was either infatuated with someone, like herself, or seeing someone. She chose to keep quiet about it.  
  
Shaking her head firmly again she started moving towards the portrait hole. The boys followed her lead. They filed out of Gryffindor common room silently.  
  
They remained quiet for most of the way and Hermione's inkling that Harry was indeed seeing someone grew at the glowing look plastered onto his face.  
  
She, on the other hand, found that her excitement was short lived as it was rapidly dissolving into panic. Was she really going to do this?  
  
Was she really going to break into Snape's chambers?

* * *

She leaned over the banister, teetering dangerously. She waved goodbye to Harry and Ron who waved back energetically. In her head the words I can't do this I can't do this were repeating over and over again.  
  
When their heads disappeared into the bustling crowd, Hermione pushed herself back off the stone banister. She sighed softly and ambled slowly back up the steps.  
  
The second the last person was gone and the Grand Entrance was empty, Hermione dropped her slow walk and raced up the marble staircase. She ran down the corridor, hair bouncing and her robes flapping behind her until she skidded to a halt in front of the portrait. Muttering the password she climbed through the hole in the wall.  
  
She sniffed and straightened her robes, trying to look normal for the first and second years sitting by the fire.  
  
Striding past them she discretely slipped up to the boys' dorm when none of them were looking. She tip-toed quickly up the steps and when she reached the door, she pushed it open gently, just in case. No one was there, of course.  
  
She hurried over to Harry's bedside table, yanked open the drawer and found the cloak folded neatly in one corner. Looking around her once, to be sure, she snatched it and hid it under her robes.  
  
Once out of the room she sneaked past the first and second years again and slipped out through the portrait hole.  
  
As she was walking quickly she felt the adrenaline start to pump. Yes, she could do this, and she would.  
  
She wasn't even one hundred percent sure why she wanted to in the first place. She just knew she had to; she had a burning desire to. She wanted to see what sort of books he read, where he slept, where he worked. She shivered, those thoughts did not sound right – she was certainly not stalking him. She thought of it more like getting to understand him better.  
  
She was almost swamped by another daydream on her way down the more she considered her mysterious professor. Brushing those thoughts aside for the moment, she concentrated on how she was going to do it.  
  
Probably a simple Alohamora(sp?) would do it but she wasn't sure. She doubted whether he put serious locking spells on his chambers but she had checked up on a large number of counter spells for them just in case.  
  
She was down in the cool dungeons in minutes and she passed their classroom. The room to the left of it, which was attached to the class, was the student supplies. On the right hand side was a door to Snape's personal supplies, also connected to the class but forbidden for students.  
  
She looked along the wall past the storeroom. Although she could not see a door, she knew there was one somewhere. But she did not want to waste her time trying to find it because to enter needed a password. She was, instead, going to assume that Snape's private stores were joined with his chambers and try there first.  
  
She slipped into the classroom, looking around to see if anyone was coming. Once she was inside the empty room filled with silent desks she pulled the cloak out from her robes and wrapped it around her.  
  
Winding her way between the empty cauldron holders beside the desks, she reached the personal stores of Severus Snape. Standing before the door, she almost hesitated but she had already broken into here before, the only difference was she was going to have to break into the other door inside.  
  
She slipped a hand into her pocket and pulled out her wand, muttered the spell she had used last time, and pushed open the large door.  
  
It swung open easily and the sight that lay in front of Hermione was more fascinating than she had remembered. The shelves stacked to the ceiling with the rarest and most wonderful ingredients awed her.  
  
She stood there floored for a good amount of time. Then, remembering what she was doing, she turned around and closed the door behind her.  
  
She took a couple of daring steps forward, taking to time to look at every single curious item there was. She even managed to find a few she had never heard of before. One was strangely similar to ginger root except it had a pair of closed eyes and long root-like tentacles, draped over the edge of the shelf.  
  
The smells filled her senses and she felt herself becoming strangely elated. She was stepping into Severus Snape's world.  
  
She slowly made her way to the back of the room and came to a corner that could not be seen from entering because it was hidden by the shelves. Hermione rounded the corner and found what she was looking for: a tall black door.  
  
Pointing her wand at it she muttered the first unlocking spell that came to mind then tried the door handle. She nodded smugly to herself, quite unaware that it had already been unlocked.  
  
She leaned forward and pushed the ebony door open cautiously.  
  
The moment she stepped into the dark room, the fire automatically flared up, making her start. Once she saw no one was in the room she relaxed. It wasn't as if they could see her anyway. But this invisibility cloak was stifling her. She quickly ran to the doorway across from her and checked in each room. There was no one.  
  
With a heavy sigh, she pulled off the crushing cloak. It was so much easier to use when Harry and Ron would help her hold it up.  
  
Taking in her surroundings she saw the room was really comfortable with three tall green chairs, a spartan desk with a few flasks of potion in one corner, a green and silver marble chess set and bookshelves piled with fusty books. She looked back at the potions on the table, to distract herself from the number of books she had never laid eyes on.  
  
She sidled over to the table, picking up the corked glass container with a pearly purple potion inside. She tipped it slightly sideways to check its consistency. It was very thick – most likely a stress relief potion. She uncorked it to catch a whiff – definitely a stress relief potion.  
  
For a vague moment she wondered why he would need it then it all came flooding back. The pity for him welled up inside her again. He was not allowed to show his feelings, bound by his own rules of conduct that he had set up to protect himself with.  
  
Putting down the potion in its spot she turned back to the bookshelf.  
  
It was so big that it towered above her. She gaped. Never had she seen such a wide variety of rare books.  
  
She spent a good ten minutes reading the names of different books with wonder.  
  
Suddenly she gasped with excitement; right in front of her was The magic of the ancients. There were only eleven copies in the world, the Ministry owned one copy, she was sure Dumbledore must have another... but... She was speechless. She wanted it so badly that she did not even think as she reached her fingers forward and pulled it out of the shelf by its spine.  
  
Ever so gently, she slid it open to the first page. She held her breath as she silently read the caption under the title: Fallaces sunt rerum species – the appearances of things are deceptive. What was that supposed to mean? Was that a clue to what sort of spells this book contained? She felt the adrenaline starting to flow as she turned the next page.  
  
She frowned, then shut the book with a snap. No, she should not spend her time reading. Without really thinking, she put the book into her bag for another time. She couldn't wait to read it again. She did not consider at that time that Snape was bound to notice.  
  
Turning back to the apartment she went over to the fireplace and took a seat in the middle chair facing the fire. She felt a slight impression in the chair she was sitting on. It was a very comfortable chair (or impression). She got up again quickly.  
  
She decided she wanted to see his bedroom before leaving. She did not know why but she was starting to feel like leaving, maybe it was the book she wanted to read.  
  
She strolled over to the bedroom and peered inside.  
  
It was magnificent, with high drapes hanging over the bed and very elegant shelves and cupboards lining the walls. What struck her was the fact that there were still more books in here as well.  
  
It was then that she decided she had to leave before she got too sucked in and stayed too long. With a longing look at the books she turned to go back.  
  
She picked up the invisibility cloak on her way and shut the large black door behind her.

* * *

Hermione entered her common room and was greeted with a surprise.  
  
Ginny had decided not to go to Hogsmead as well and when Hermione closed the portrait behind her Ginny leapt up from her chair in front of the fire, beside the first years.  
  
Hermione jumped in surprise.  
  
"Ginny! Why aren't you at Hogsmead?" she asked with a little more concern than she had intended. Ginny frowned at her with confusion.  
  
"I've been wanting to talk to you. Where have you been?" she looked really curious. Hermione dodged the question with a question.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"This is really important!" she snapped, exasperated. She grabbed Hermione's hand and proceeded to drag her towards the girls' dorm. She did not see what was so important, if she had not known where she had just been.  
  
She was forced to trot up the stairs behind Ginny and pulled roughly into her dorm. She snatched her wrist out of Ginny's death-grip and followed her over to her bed.  
  
Ginny sat down on her own bed and Hermione sat opposite her at the other end.  
  
"Now, what is this about, Gin?" she said with a little bite to add emphasis.  
  
She was starting to look nervous and guilty, avoiding eye contact and shuffling on the spot.  
  
"Well..." she said nervously, "It's something that you cannot tell the boys, Hermione, understand?" Hermione just nodded slowly, wanting to hear more. Ginny took a deep breath and continued.  
  
"It was sort of an accident at the same time... it sort of wasn't..." she was not making much sense, "I kind of wanted it but I didn't think it would ever happen. It's just so strange..."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Hermione leaned closer to hear better.  
  
Looking at Hermione carefully she spat it all out at once. "Hermione, I- I'm – I kissed... I kissed Draco Malfoy..." she looked straight back down at her lap.  
  
Hermione felt as if she had been slapped in the face with a wooden stick. She found herself struggling to breathe.  
  
"What?!" she croaked, gasping for breath, "Malfoy?" She looked at Ginny, in shock, who looked back with wide innocent eyes. "The Draco Malfoy who has made our lives hell, especially Harry and your own brother, for as long as we can remember?!"  
  
Ginny started to fiddle with her hair tensely.  
  
"Ginny! I'm surprised at you!" but then she thought of her little crush on Snape and her shock dissolved into interest. Looking at her with a small smile she leaned forward. "Tell me more..."  
  
It was Ginny's turn to look surprised, "Huh?"  
  
"You give me all the details and I'll tell you where I have just been..." she hesitated then smirked, "but you cannot tell the boys..." Ginny's eyes widened in curiosity and she let out a small "oo" of excitement.  
  
Leaning back on her pillow, with the air of someone with a very important message, she began to recall the exact details of how it had happened.  
  
"Ok... details... Well... I was walking back from the library yesterday, when I ran into Malfoy – alone. There was no one else in the corridor and we started insulting each other while we walked. I don't know why but I could tell he wasn't intending those insults to really bite – they definitely weren't his best." Hermione lay on her stomach and propped her head up on her elbows, staring intently at Ginny.  
  
"He was putting you down?" she asked with skepticism.  
  
"Well, it was more like an insult match, each one had to be worse than the other's last comment... I was actually having fun. I've secretly been attracted to Draco for a while now but I kept pushing it away because the circumstances are all wrong..."  
  
"Uh-huh," said Hermione, hanging on to her every word carefully.  
  
"Then, his last comment was actually really hurtful... I won't repeat it – it really did sting." Hermione's eyes widened. "Then he stopped dead beside me when he realized what he had said and put an arm out to stop me. I was so upset I almost stopped liking him altogether. I almost kept walking, but I stopped and faced him."  
  
Hermione took a sharp breath.  
  
"He made me look him straight in the eye and sincerely apologized for what he said. I was gobsmacked! Nobody, I think, has ever managed to get Draco to apologize before. I just looked at him for the longest time, you know? Then finally, I think the tension was killing him, he leaned forward and kissed me."  
  
She gasped and smiled at the same time. "More!"  
  
"More? Well... he was a very good kisser, I'll give you that. Very sweet – use your imagination. I was unable to realize what was going on because it was too much for me to comprehend. Draco liked me back and he was kissing me! Then afterwards, he gave me this look that said he wanted to make sure I was ok with what he had just done. So..." she smirked, "I kissed him again."  
  
"O-o!" said Hermione excitedly. "That is so sweet! Who would have thought that Malfoy could act like that!" Ginny nodded violently in agreement. "Is that all?" she asked, now getting nervous that she would have to reveal her secret. It had sounded at first that her kissing Draco Malfoy was as bad as her liking Snape – a world gone mad. But she was starting to think that Draco was not such an unusual thing...  
  
"So," said Ginny, snapping out of her dreamy mode and becoming much more focused on Hermione. "Where were you today..." she added a small smirk in reply to her earlier one.  
  
"Oh..." she said offhandedly, "just went for a walk by the greenhouses..." Ginny frowned suddenly.  
  
"I don't believe you. Why aren't you going to tell me? I told you something very confidential and you even offered to tell me. You can't just decide to leave me hanging!" Ginny whined. Hermione felt slightly guilty and decided she was right and dropped her voice.  
  
"This is going to make your kiss sound insignificant..." she started very seriously. Ginny laughed.  
  
"Yeah right!"  
  
"I'm serious, Ginny!" she snapped. Ginny's smile dropped. "This must not go any further than you, you understand?" Ginny nodded curiously. "Ok..." She sighed, "I started researching the cause for Snape's behavior one night-" Ginny's features contorted as she began jumping to multiple conclusions.  
  
"Ginny!" she said sharply, "Don't create a more dramatic story in you head, whatever you do. And don't make assumptions. Just let me tell the story." She nodded apologetically.  
  
"Now... where was I... Oh, yeah. That was what I needed the newspapers for," Ginny's eyes showed understanding, "I was surprised to find that his little sister had died." Ginny gasped. "I started feeling bad for him. Everybody jumps to the conclusion he's an evil person because he hides himself from the rest of the world. He intrigued me-" Ginny frowning in confusion again.  
  
"So-" she started, but Hermione cut her off.  
  
"Let me tell it like it is." She said sternly "When he started acting normal again, I began watching him to see any differences to prove he still was in pain. He hides it really well. I found myself starting to admire him..." Ginny's head was whizzing with the information. "And I started thinking of him more and more..." she trailed off slowly.  
  
"So," she said carefully, leaving pause to make sure Hermione would not cut her off again, "What your trying to say, is that you like Snape?!" she choked on her own words.  
  
Hermione nodded quietly. Ginny made a funny noise in her throat.  
  
"Wait... that doesn't explain where you were today?" she continued with a look of comprehension on her face. "Where you-"  
  
Hermione gasped. "No, no! Snape's gone away for the weekend, to his sister's funeral..." she sounded sad again. "Today... Today... I- er... I, sort of... broke into Snape's chambers..."  
  
Ginny gasped so hard that it looked painful. "Hermione! You didn't!"  
  
Hermione started reaching over the bed to open her bag. She very gently pulled out The magic of the ancients. Ginny just watched silently as she put it softly in between them on the bed.  
  
"Hermione... What is that?" knowing very well it was a book, but not seeing its relevance.  
  
She looked up at her and back at the book seriously. "This is a very rare book. One of eleven made." After a small pause she continued, "I took it from Snape's personal bookshelf..."  
  
Ginny shrieked in scared excitement. "Oh! Hermione! I can't believe you did this!" Hermione nodded in agreement.  
  
"Neither can I. I also can't believe I was stupid enough to bring this with me! He's got to notice!" she sounded remorseful. Ginny felt sorry for her.  
  
"It's ok," she said comfortingly, "It'll all turn out for the best, you'll see."  
  
Hermione nodded gloomily.

* * *

Harry and Ron returned later that day and Hermione was relieved to find that Harry did not notice anything out of the ordinary. When they went to greet her, nothing appeared different but when they sat down for dinner together in the Grand Hall, Hermione and Ginny kept sharing knowing looks that were driving him up the wall.  
  
But he knew that there would be no point in him asking, they would just cover for each other.  
  
He had enough on his mind anyway...

* * *

Hermione felt that sharing with Ginny had definitely been the right thing to do. She felt a whole lot better and she and Ginny were much closer than ever before.  
  
When Malfoy got up to leave Hermione gave Ginny a signal with her eyebrows that meant she should leave too. There was a shared smile and then Ginny was gone moments later.  
  
She still felt that she had a lot to deal with, knowing that she had, in a way, brought it all on herself just made it worse. She had failed to mention to Ginny what she planned to do next. Just thinking about it gave her severe butterflies.  
  
That night in bed she dreamed of his arms around her and his breath on her neck.

* * *

Sunday came and went. Severus would not be returning till late that night so she spent the whole day reading "her" book, shut away in her dorm. Harry and Ron had to send Ginny up to check on her. Ginny grinned at her and left moments later, convincing the boys she was studying.  
  
She spent most of the night reading and went to bed early in the morning, having only read the first seven chapters of eighty six. She decided that either the pages were incredibly thin or it had some sort of charm to make it appear like a relatively normal sized book.

* * *

Morning came way too soon for Hermione, she felt her limbs crying out for sleep as she sat up in bed. She moaned at the brightness of day but then her eyes snapped open when she realized Snape must be back and he must have noticed his missing book already. She had to finish it as soon as possible and return it when she knew it was safe.  
  
She hurried to get dressed and shower – today was the day!  
  
The excitement was welling up in her and her worries of the book were forgotten. He could not guess that she had taken it anyway. She could hardly believe it – later today the last two stages would be carried out.  
  
Later that day she would hopefully satisfy some of her growing, peculiar wishes.

* * *

Severus brushed to the soot off himself distastefully as he stepped out from his fireplace. He leaned back towards to fire to gather his trunk. It had not been the most cheerful holiday, obviously. It had been rather disturbing to watch his baby sister be lowered into a six foot hole. As she went down he thought of all the times she had helped him out of sticky situations... he remembered the heart-broken look on her face when he had told her he was joining the Death Eaters.  
  
He tried to shake his sadness and decided on having an early night's sleep for the first time in years.  
  
He gripped his trunk tightly, he really should unpack but he did not want to. He went over to the study, if he put it in his bedroom it would be irritating knowing that he was putting something off until the next day.  
  
As he entered the fire flared up in its normal way.  
  
He moved towards the desk and propped it against the leg and was about to leave again when he froze.  
  
Something was definitely amiss. There was a strange scent that did not belong in his chambers. Only Snape would have been able to find the significance of an alien scent, when it would have naturally been overlooked by anyone else. That is what becomes of a potions master who can identify many different concoctions by their smell.  
  
This smelled... sweet... possibly bananas? He could not tell but he could tell that it was a distinctive smell that had no reason to be here. Had someone been here?  
  
He looked around the study for any signs of abnormality. His eyes narrowed as he spied a gap in his bookshelf, he saw to it that the only gaps on his shelves would be when he was reading one of them. Why would someone take a book from him?  
  
He wandered over to that area and tried to recall which books where there and checking to see they still were. When he could not find The Magic of the Ancients, he frowned harder. That was one of his best books. Why would someone take it? If it was a student, how would they be smart enough to know that this was one of his most valuable?  
  
He breathed in again, trying to identify the sweet smell, but without success.  
  
He felt his head fill with questions and concluded the only sure cure was sleep. He gave a long look at the gap then turned and headed back to his bedroom.

* * *

"Hermione!" said Ginny firmly, but with a lot of concern in her tone. "Eat something!" Hermione looked down meekly at her plate. Food did not seem so appetizing right then.  
  
She felt the blood leaving her face the more she looked at the food so she closed her eyes and shook her head. Ginny frowned and stopped eating herself. She stood up to lean over the table and put a hand on Hermione's forehead.  
  
She was surprised at the same time appreciated the fact that Ginny had Mrs. Weasley as a mother.  
  
"Are you feeling ok?" she said as she sat back down. Hermione shook her head again. "Are you ill?" Another shake of the head. "Hmm..." She picked up her goblet, took a drink then stared at Hermione again. "Then what?"  
  
Hermione felt that maybe it would help to tell Ginny what she was planning; she knew for sure she could not go on like this for long. It was killing her.  
  
She leaned forward to whisper "Come with me." Luckily the boys were busy talking beside her and the sound passed unnoticed. Ginny's eyebrows shot up behind her bangs and she instantly dropped her toast and stood after Hermione.  
  
Harry and Ron stopped talking and watched as Hermione and Ginny left the hall together, breakfasts left half eaten. They shared the confused look they usually did and resumed conversation, not thinking much of it.  
  
Ginny trotted after Hermione as she strode quickly out of the hall, getting paler, if possible.  
  
Hermione turned sharply right and headed out the Grand Entrance. Ginny skipped along beside her, getting the secret-telling vibe radiating from her.  
  
Ginny stopped quickly when Hermione did. She looked around; there was no one outside within hearing range.  
  
"Ginny..." Hermione started seriously, looking her straight in the eye. "I didn't quite tell you everything on Saturday..." she took a deep sigh but it was not a tired sigh, more like an excited one – if that were in some way possible.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked a perplexed Ginny, wondering what else there could be.  
  
"I have this, sort of, plan..."  
  
"Ooh!" she gasped excitedly, "Tell me!"  
  
Hermione looked around once more to make sure that there was nobody before lowering her voice, as if afraid of hearing it herself.  
  
"Ok..."  
  
... ... ...  
  
"Oh my..." gaped Ginny "You're really gonna do that?" Hermione nodded surely. The image of Snape striding amongst the cauldrons shrouded in his large black robes filled her mind.  
  
"Certain. I thought maybe it might actually help get him off my mind..." she said sincerely.  
  
"How would that work?" asked Ginny sarcastically.  
  
Hermione frowned and shook her head, not wanting to listen. "Shut up, Ginny," she said with only a little trace of sarcasm. Ginny was not offended.  
  
"This is exciting!" bubbled Ginny with enthusiasm, "Really, really exciting! Oh... I wish I could be there..." Hermione looked shocked.  
  
"Hell, no!"  
  
"Ok, ok..." she said resignedly.  
  
Hermione now felt so much better. She decided to alter the course of the conversation.  
  
"So..." she smirked "What's been happening with you and "Draco"?" Ginny blushed to the roots of her red hair. Hermione's smirk grew; the heavy feeling on her heart was lifting slightly.  
  
"Oh, well... He's a real sweetheart towards me. He offered to take me to Hogsmead with him on our last weekend before the summer..." Hermione grinned.  
  
"And what did you say?"  
  
"Of course!" she grinned back, mischievously. "Then, the topic of the summer crept up... We've decided we want to see each other whenever we can. I'm not sure how I'll get away, neither is he but he said that he's sure we'll manage." Ginny gave Hermione a quizzical look as her features contorted. "What?"  
  
"I really am trying hard to imagine Malfoy being all sweet and romantic!" she said with exasperation, "but I can't do it!"  
  
Ginny smirked again, understanding completely. "It's not much different for me, trying to imagine what exactly makes you attracted to him... But whatever it is – it works for you and it works for me," she said with an air of wisdom.  
  
Hermione smiled at her. She was very grateful that they now were sharing these secrets, it took a lot of weight off of everything and she felt less peculiar.  
  
She then looked down at her watch. "Oh! We're going to be late if we don't go now."  
  
"Hermione," said Ginny with curiosity "By any chance, is your last lesson of the day Potions?" Hermione blushed and grinned harder. "This is going to be interesting..."

* * *

Severus Snape was looking more and more fascinating to Hermione. He was intelligent, no doubt about that and she noticed he had a quick whit to match. She tried to restrain herself from spending the whole time staring at his deep black eyes that flickered dangerously across the room.  
  
When he brushed past she felt the butterflies get violent in her stomach.  
  
The class was taking too long to end but at the same she wished it wouldn't. She tried half-heartedly to rationalise and convince herself that this was a crazy idea and that this feeling would eventually go away and she would be sickened with herself for thinking such a way. But these thoughts faded fast.  
  
When the lesson drew to an end, she had taken up her sample and cleaned out her cauldron, she stayed behind on the pretext that she still had to pack up her ink bottle and stuff and the boys should go ahead without her.  
  
They did so without suspicion.  
  
Severus looked up from behind his desk and rolled his eyes when he saw Miss Granger had stayed behind. He was starting to get used to her butting into his life and wondered what it would be this time. Nothing however could prepare him.  
  
He stood up and walked around his desk.  
  
"Miss Granger?" he sighed, looking at her, folding his arms, "What now?"  
  
Hermione slung her bag over her shoulder and started towards him.  
  
"Well?" he sneered, once she was close. Hermione paused, looking deeply into his eyes. Snape could see the thoughts rapidly crossing over hers. He wondered what this could be about.  
  
Suddenly, before she thought about it too much, she leaned forward and kissed him.

* * *

Eek! Finally!  
  
Please review – keep in mind more will be revealed in the next chapter.  
  
Love all of u who review!  
  
Snakecharmer 


	5. The Plan

Chapter 5: the plan.

* * *

So far: too much to summarize – but I'll try.  
  
Hermione's curiosity is aroused by the strange behaviour of Snape. She investigates and finds that his younger sister, Stella, died. Feeling sorry for him inevitably leads to her focusing on him more which leads to a peculiar crush blossoming.  
  
Hermione, blinded by this new feeling, sets up a four stage plan to "satisfy" her – but does not realise infatuation is not a thirst to be quenched. She "breaks" into Snape's chambers and takes a book, without thinking. Ginny turns out to have kissed and started dating Draco Malfoy. And Hermione and Ginny reveal each of their secrets to each other.  
  
Then Hermione sets into action stage three of her plan and approaches Snape after class... and kisses him.

* * *

Before you read I would like to say one thing: Alan Rickman should be replaced by Johnny Depp! He would probably be great at the part! It would be a two in one dream!

* * *

Severus watched in annoyance as Hermione Granger decided to approach him. He was quickly forgetting any gratefulness he had had for her understanding his loss. She was still an annoying, pushy girl.  
  
As soon as she was a close distance and stopped in front of him he sneered at her "Well?" He was surprised to find that her eyes were glazing and showed rapid thoughts crossing her mind.  
  
And then... she had suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, wrapping her arms around his neck as she did so.  
  
Severus froze in shock. What the hell was she doing!? Why? The questions rolled and he found himself unable to think properly for the first time in his life. He was in a state of disbelief. He was numb and he was almost unaware of her petite body pressing against him.  
  
Hermione was nervous as hell. She found herself wanting this to end because it was not half as sweet a kiss as she had imagined. It was uncomfortable. But leaning against him she felt at home and wondered if she was meant to belong in his arms. She hoped so.  
  
When finally he came to his senses he pushed her frame away from him. His brain was starting to work properly again. He gave her a look of confusion and astonishment.  
  
"What the hell was that, Miss Granger?!" But before he could get a reply Hermione had dug a hand into her pocket and pulled out her wand. She lifted it hesitantly and pointed it towards him.  
  
Natural reflexes kicked in. Without even thinking about it he had his own wand out before she could open her mouth to say the spell.  
  
"Obli-" but Severus cut her off.  
  
"Expelliarmus." Once her wand was on the other side of the room he lowered his own to look at her.  
  
"Now," he hissed with more confusion then anger, "Explain to me Miss Granger, what the hell was that?" he was irritated to find that she merely looked at him with big guilty eyes for a short time.  
  
"Well," she started walking slowly towards where her wand had landed. "I was planning on not having to tell you, because of a stupid miscalculation of mine..."  
  
"And what was that?" he was absorbing everything she told him like a sponge before processing it.  
  
"I forgot that you would almost surely pull your wand on me too," she said nervously as she shuffled ever closer to her wand.  
  
Severus shook his head, he could not understand. "Why?" But he was angered to find Hermione just ignored him and bent to pick up her wand.  
  
"I have a proposition to make," she started, although her heart was racing, she remained cool on the outside, "I think it would be easier for you and for me," she fiddled tensely with her wand between her fingers, "if I obliviated you..." When Severus looked furious at the proposal she hurriedly continued. "Then things would go back to normal, because this is going to affect a lot of things if I don't..." she finished.  
  
Severus thought her argument was poor but when he weighed the positives and the negatives, it would be nice to just forget what had happened.  
  
"On the condition you explain," his voice was devoid of any emotion. Hermione paused, nodded and started to head back to her original position in front of him.  
  
She sat down on the surface of one of the front row desks opposite him. She looked at him.  
  
"What do you want to know?"  
  
"Why?" he asked for what seemed like the millionth time, he glanced up at his doorway. "Is this some sort of twisted prank, or dare?" Hermione blushed and shook her head. He frowned.  
  
"I-I..." she fell silent and she hoped he would not make her say it aloud. He just stared at her for five long seconds before his frown deepened and she thought maybe he had figured it out.  
  
This was confirmed by a disbelieving shake of the head. "This is not possible," he was muttering to himself and her at the same time, "How did this happen?" He looked up at her and she looked away.  
  
The cold of dungeons was beginning to close in on her and suffocate her, she wanted to leave.  
  
"This was a bad idea. Can we please get this over with," she begged, she was having trouble breathing normally. Severus frowned harder. He could tell she was getting uncomfortable and did feel a little bad for her but that was strongly overridden by a need to know.  
  
A thought came to him.  
  
"If I were to look in your bag, would I, by any chance, find a copy of The Magic of the Ancients?" he said softly but the tone scared her more than any other.  
  
He was not too surprised to see she gripped the bag tightly. Her eyes shone with guilt. He shook his head again and folded his arms. This was way too much for him to take in.  
  
"I cannot handle any more of this. Feel free to Obliviate and leave," he sighed. Hermione was starting to see huge flaws in her plan. She wished she had never ever thought of what she had done. But it was over now and she felt more humiliated and embarrassed than she had in a long time.  
  
She did as she was told and pointed her wand at him. She looked up and saw him staring into her eyes, into her soul. She stared back. His black eyes captivated her and for a moment she almost stopped regretting her moves. She had, despite the uncomfortable vibes, relished the kiss.  
  
She found herself hesitating before she whispered "Obliviate." The spell hit him in the chest and she got up to leave.

* * *

She walked numbly along the corridors, her steps slow and her feet heavy like lead. Her mind felt empty and soggy like a wet rag with no ability to hold anything more.  
  
She had to find Ginny, now. She was the only one she could talk to.  
  
She knew though that Ginny would be in the common room and to see her would mean having to see Harry and Ron first and right now they were the last people she wanted to see. They would have a lot of questions about what kept her and whether she was alright. She determined talking to Ginny was not worth it.  
  
She decided to go and sit by the lake.  
  
She dragged herself outside and when she reached her spot she pulled out her wand. A couple of spells later she had her blanket and pillow.  
  
She slumped down and snuggled into the pillow. She felt drained. She wanted to sleep and forget about what had just happened. It had been a full blown disaster.  
  
As she pinched her eyes shut she unwillingly recalled the warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach when she had leaned forward and kissed him, the feeling of pressing up against him. It had been better than she had imagined but what had happened after had cancelled out any of the good sensation left.  
  
But she was incredibly grateful that he allowed her to obliviate him. If he had not, she was sure she would not have been able to come within a hundred feet of the dungeons.  
  
She sighed and shifted position.  
  
Her growing calm was abruptly ended with the sound of footsteps approaching. Oh gosh. Please no. She panicked. Please not Snape. She knew that right then she could not handle looking at him, even if he did not remember. Her crazy liking for him was pushed away for the moment.  
  
She refused to open her eyes when the footsteps stopped next to her. Go away, go away, go away, go away, she kept wishing.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
It was not the voice of a man but of Ginny. Hermione was so relieved. She looked up at her and gave her a weak smile.  
  
"Hello, Ginny," she said with a large amount of exhaustion. Ginny frowned. She moved forward and sat down next to Hermione on the red blanket.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned, "What happened with Snape?"  
  
At his name, Hermione let out a large groan and shook her head. She turned away from Ginny.  
  
"Oh dear," Ginny muttered quietly. She bent over and hugged Hermione briefly, comfortingly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to..." Hermione knew that that sentence was eating her up inside because Ginny really wanted to know what happened.  
  
"No, it's ok..." she said forcing herself to sit up. It was not ok but she wanted to get it off her chest. She turned to Ginny, striking a story telling pose. "It was going according to plan... I kissed him-"  
  
She was cut off by a loud "Ooh! Details!" from Ginny. Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"Umm...ok..." she started unsurely, "Well, he sort froze which is predictable but," she thought for a moment, "it was a really nice feeling... Wait! That is not the point! After I kissed him something went wrong-"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"I was getting there!" snapped Hermione irritably. "When I pulled out my wand he pulled out his too. I definitely underestimated his reflexes. He blew mine out of my hand and forced me to explain!" Ginny squeaked nervously.  
  
"Oh my gosh! So you didn't get to obliviate him? He knows!?" she gaped. She felt so bad for Hermione.  
  
"No." She had lost all will to explain further.  
  
"No? Why not?" Ginny sat up straighter.  
  
"He decided that after an explanation, to be obliviated was the best option. He also figured out that I was the one in his chambers. The thing is, I don't know if he already knew that before the kiss because I did not use a strong spell... what if he still knows I have his book?"  
  
Ginny didn't know what to say. She laid a comforting hand on her arm as she thought of something.  
  
"But he doesn't remember that you like him?" she asked. Hermione shook her head. "Well then, that's ok. He can be as pissed at you as he likes for taking his book and nothing will change because he will probably think you took it because you simply wanted to read it and his was the most accessible of the eleven."  
  
Hermione looked up at her and smiled, "Thank you Ginny. You always know what to say."  
  
Ginny shrugged "It's a gift."  
  
They sat silently in front of the lake together until the sun started to lower in front of them.

* * *

Severus paced his study. His long black robes flowed behind him sinisterly and he kept abruptly swivelling to retrace his steps. His long black hair curtained his face and sharp features. His eyes flickered over the ground he was tracing.  
  
He could not sleep. He could not stay awake, however, without thinking. Thinking was what was destroying him, what had destroyed him before and probably once again.  
  
He was also plagued by a blank spot in his memory. He could not remember about ten minutes of the day after class. That had not happened to him in a long time. Something must have happened. He tried to remember but couldn't.  
  
He took a deep breath and stopped pacing and glided over to his chair in front of the fire. When he sat his robes draped over the edges of the chair and he propped his chin on his fist in thought.  
  
Pushing that idea aside, he wondered who possibly could have his book. He had wondered that all day but now, after that blank spot, he felt an itch in his brain when that subject crept up.  
  
He rubbed his temple with his fingers.

* * *

Hermione closed Severus' book at two that morning. She was tired but she had been so absorbed in the book that she had totally lost track of time. This had been happening every single night since she had taken the book, which made it five days. She decided that the next night she would go to bed at a normal time.  
  
She got up way too soon for her liking and went through the early morning motions. She tried very hard to forget what had happened the day before last, even when Harry groaned and pointed out they had potions later that day at breakfast. She could not face him.

* * *

Severus walked up and down the desks, placing papers on each one in turn, keeping his back straight and his posture threatening even though the students had not arrived yet.  
  
He felt especially pissed today. He wanted to make his class suffer for every moment he had to endure of teaching. Maybe it was lack of sleep that had put him in such a bad mood. He did not know and did not really care.  
  
He slammed the last paper down gracefully on the last desk and was approaching his desk when the door opened. The seventh years filed in then dispersed to their seats. They all looked questioningly at the papers on their desks but did not say anything, knowing he would explain.  
  
He waited coolly for the last person to sit down then took a couple of steps their way.  
  
"As you know," he started in his usual menacing yet lazy tone, "NEWTs are only a month away," nervous groans from the class, "Silence. If you have been studying properly, then you should have no problem with this surprise test." The whole class gasped.  
  
Hermione's head snapped up. Test? She had been so absorbed in her book she had not studied in her scheduled amount. She was so tired that she found the nervousness draining into an urge to take a nap.  
  
"Quills out," he sneered softly. There was a shuffle for quills from bags and ink bottles. Hermione plonked hers on the desk and sighed. She felt really bad. Her eyes were stinging progressively. She rubbed them in vain.  
  
"You may begin." There was a collective sound of all the papers in the class being opened and then the sound of scratching quills.  
  
...  
  
Hermione finished in twenty minutes. She slowly looked around. Most of the class was a little under half way. She breathed a sigh of relief. She could take a well earned nap now.  
  
She looked up briefly at Severus, he was fully occupied, grading papers at his desk. Good. She shuffled herself into a comfortable-ish position. She folded her arms and put them on the desk. With a grateful smile she laid her head down on her arms. Her cheek rested on her right elbow.  
  
She slowly closed her eyes, the last thing she saw was the left side of the class working hard at their papers in the dim light of the dungeons.  
  
It seemed like she had closed her eyes for only a second when she was pulled out of her daze.  
  
She blinked and looked around the class, lifting her head dreamily. They were almost done. She realized she must have slept a little while. She was aware of something else too. She turned to look to her right and found what she had expected. Snape was looming over her with a look of pure outrage etched onto his features.  
  
She blinked twice more to clear her vision. As things came into focus she became increasingly conscious of his icy stare. She normally was not affected by it any more but now she felt the shivers run down her spine.  
  
"Miss Granger," he hissed. Even though his voice was soft it shook with rage she had not seen from him for a while. "Kindly clarify why you are sleeping in my class. During a test." He leaned forward to threaten her. His long, shoulder length hair fell beside his slim predominant cheek bones. She gulped.  
  
She tried very hard to suppress the thought 'Damn, he looks good' and managed to.  
  
"I-I..." Severus frowned harder, the itch in his brain had returned. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately... I am really sorry!" she added, honestly hoping the apology would help some. It didn't appear to.  
  
"Miss Granger," he sounded less angry and more bored of having to constantly tell students off, "I will speak to you after class." He looked sternly at her and she nodded solemnly. "If there is one mistake on this test..." she looked up at him "then you will have a detention to serve." The class looked at her in suspense but everyone knew she had not got one mistake and Severus knew it too.  
  
She stared at him with tired eyes. He noticed they had red rings underneath and he wondered why she had been missing her sleep. If it was NEWTs, which was what he strongly suspected, he pitied her some. He remembered how much time he had spent on studying, himself.  
  
"Fair enough," she said and picked up her test to hand it to him, defiantly.  
  
He noted her boldness, how Gryffindor of her. The corner of his mouth lifted into a cross between a sneer and smirk. He took the paper from her hand sharply. Taking his eyes off of her face he opened the first page of her test with a rattle of paper.  
  
His eyes glided over the answers and he abruptly turned the page. The whole class waited to see, forgetting their tests.  
  
When he was on the fifth page his eyes fell to rest on one question. There was nothing wrong with her answer but he had a powerful urge to unnerve her. He looked up at her slowly over the paper with a cold smirk.  
  
He placed it calmly on her desk and she glanced at it briefly, wondering what he was doing. He explained himself.  
  
"You may have one final chance to look over the test before you hand it in," he was expecting to see her snap upright and hurry through her answers to find her mistake. But to his astonishment, she gave the test a long sleepy look and laid her head back down in her arms, closing her eyes.  
  
Severus could feel the eyes of the entire seventh year potions class on his back. He whirled around swiftly and immediately everyone bent down and the silence was replaced by the scratching of quills under his cold black stare.  
  
He gave them all a reproachful look before turning back to Hermione, cat napping in front of him.  
  
He knew he should be boiling inside with rage but he was irritated to find that he could not call up such feelings at that moment. And although he glared at her with all the spite he should have felt, inside he was void of any emotion which was enough to trigger his curiosity.  
  
He suddenly turned and left, leaving her to sleep. His robes billowed behind him as he walked up to his desk as they always did.  
  
Severus glowered to himself. He wished this lesson to end.  
  
And end, it eventually did. The time crawled by until the bell rang.  
  
As soon as the glorious sound was heard there was a bustle as people got up to hand their tests in and leave. He collected each of them roughly from their hands and once every other student had left, apart from Hermione, he was not surprised to see her in a deep sleep on her desk.  
  
He gave her a long gaze before gliding over to her and he picked up her test, never taking his eyes off of her. He could not see her properly because her hair flopped over her face and the desk. But he could see the relaxed look on her face and felt it would be crueler than was necessary to wake her yet.  
  
He took the paper up to the front of the class, flicking through it as he did so. He would mark it first before he would have to wake her.  
  
Carefully sitting in his chair he focussed on her test, eyes narrowing in concentration. His raven eyes scanned her answers for the slightest mistake.  
  
He knew it was hopeless but he proceeded nonetheless. It would buy him more time to let her rest. He did not understand the reasons for his sympathy for her. He felt that it was not necessary to be so cold hearted towards her at the present time because she was already suffering from exhaustion.  
  
He sighed when he finished and closed her papers. He sat them on the desk in front of him then rested his elbows on the desk, crossing his fingers and looking over them at Hermione, putting off the moment he would have to disturb her.  
  
He did not move from that position for a possible half hour, like a wild cat poised to leap.  
  
His thoughts drifted and as he watched her. He was surprised to realise he admired her bold character and her intelligence... and the curve of her face. He shook that thought out his head and abruptly stood.  
  
He buried the thought deep into his mind and a moment later he found himself forgetting it. He strode over to her desk with his robes dragging behind him.  
  
He towered over her and looked down his nose at her, hesitant to speak.  
  
"Miss Granger," he said sharply and she jumped before him. She slowly pulled herself upright and he waited for the sleep to leave her eyes entirely.  
  
"Mm?" she said dreamily. A millisecond later she realized where she was. She straightened her back and replaced her relaxed expression with a concentrated one. He wanted to smirk but didn't.  
  
"No need to get so tense," he said airily with a vague wave of his hand. She looked befuddled but did not speak. She did as she was told and he could see her shoulders slump and she leaned back thankfully against her chair.  
  
She looked down at her desk and noticed her paper was gone. "Do I have to serve detention?" she asked, gazing up at him. He shook his head.  
  
"No. However, I do not appreciate students falling asleep in my class," he hissed and Hermione nodded lazily, already sure of what he was going to say. "See to it that it should never happen again." He leaned a little closer to catch her stare and she was rendered unable to blink.  
  
He straightened up again, feeling his point was made. As he turned to walk back he talked over his shoulder.  
  
"If you really needed to stay awake in my classes and are not willing to give up study time, then I am surprised to find that you have not already taken a simple potion to wake you up properly. I am strongly against a student destroying herself with the misuse of potions before an exam. You should remember that sleep is vital and without it you cannot expect to get as good a grade as you normally would."  
  
He reached the blackboard and whirled around to face her across the room. She felt, despite the distance, that he was staring into her soul. His voice, though soft, carried easily.  
  
"If I should ever find you asleep in my class again, or even anywhere else during the day, then there will be hell to pay," he finished effectively.  
  
Hermione had not moved, her fuzzed brain was not taking what he said to her full potential. She just nodded. Her eyelids were struggling to stay open. He seemed to notice.  
  
"You may go," he nodded shortly to her, "go straight to sleep and do not study tonight." Hermione tilted sideways and picked up her bag.  
  
She stood and slung it over her shoulder. She nodded briefly in reply then stumbled dozily over to the door.  
  
He watched her leave and felt something. He tried to figure out what that something was but it didn't have a name. Was it interest? Was it care? He could not tell. But he now felt the need to make sure she did not overwork herself.

* * *

Hermione had not been overworking at all. She was surprised and ashamed of herself to think so but when she studied she found she could recite everything of her notes before she even read them. She knew it all and it frustrated her and she would study but the book had higher priorities at the moment.  
  
Ginny raced over to her the moment she saw her enter the common room. She almost slammed into Hermione.  
  
"Hermione! Where have you been!?" there was a look of anticipated excitement gleaming in her blue eyes. "Harry and Ron said Snape kept you back after class!" Hermione shushed Ginny and looked around the common room, nobody was looking at her but she preferred privacy.  
  
She gestured Ginny should follow and went over to the girls' tower. She was closely trailed by her. They went up together to Hermione's dorm and when she saw her bed she wished she did not have to explain, instead she just wanted to sleep.  
  
"Here we go," she muttered under her breath. Then she spoke in a louder tone, "I fell asleep in his class, during a test. That's all. He made me stay behind to speak with me." She said it trying to show Ginny that it was nothing.  
  
Ginny reacted in the total opposite way. "Ooh! He kept you back after class! What did he want to talk to you about...?" She was starting to irritate Hermione in a way she never had before. She did not understand why. She sincerely hoped this was not a result of her Snape fad.  
  
"Just that I should never fall asleep in his class again or "there will be hell to pay" and that I should not take potions to keep myself awake because misusing them would only further any damage-"  
  
"That is so sweet!" Hermione was taken aback.  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"He was looking out for you. He was, in his Snape-ish way, praising you for not having already taken them. He was also warning you of their dangers-" she said convincingly but Hermione cut her off at her last word.  
  
"It's his duty as a teacher!" what Ginny was saying was absurd but at the same time, she wanted it to be true, deep down inside.  
  
"Yes but he usually "conveniently forgets" to warn anybody other than the Slytherins..." Hermione was starting to follow her line of thought. Ginny could tell by the comprehending gleam in her eyes.  
  
"So, what your saying," she started slowly, "is that there is hope?" Ginny grinned and nodded. Hermione raised her eyebrows as she considered the possibility.  
  
"I don't understand what you see in him, really but it would make sense that you would. His is the only mind I think capable of matching yours," Hermione blushed at the compliment but it made perfect sense to her. She had a similar mind to him. She thought way back to her first year, the final test to get through to the Philosopher's Stone. Severus' test had been the easiest to her because it was what she was best at; it was also what he was best at.  
  
"We do think alike, in some senses..." she said more to herself than Ginny. Ginny nodded feverently.  
  
Her eyes lit up as she came up with an idea, "Hermione, I know exactly what you need to relax..." Hermione looked up questioningly, "this Saturday there's a PARTY!" She grinned at Hermione, expecting her to be excited too.  
  
She tried to force a smile on her face. She did not particularly feel like being shoved into a room crowded full of people and forced to talk about unimportant stuff just for the sake of it and having to dance when she could be studying. "Alright," she said with a smile but it was very resigned.  
  
"Great!"

* * *

So what do u think?

Please Review!! - if there are any of you who read this story regularly and dont review could u just submit a short "Hey - i read ur story" please????

Luv, Snakecharmer


	6. At the Party

* * *

Chapter 6: Party time.

* * *

So far:  
  
Snape acts weirdly in class – due to his sister dying. Hermione finds out and pities him, starts to get intrigued by him then eventually ends up getting a crush on him. She puts forward an unusual plan that comes in four stages and ultimately ends up in her getting a kiss from Snape that he does not remember. But Hermione still has his book from when she broke into his chambers.

* * *

She could not believe she had accepted the invitation from Ginny. NEWTs were so close now that she really needed to study more than she was. Everyone else convinced her she was studying enough as it was but her nights were no longer taken up by reading until early morning. She had to take it much slower. She did not want to be caught falling asleep by Severus again.  
  
She went down to breakfast and met Harry and Ron there. They had not waited for her that morning but she did not ponder as to why. They did not have to always.  
  
She greeted them with the usual "Hi," and immediately propped a book up against her goblet when she sat down. She read as she ate and Harry rolled his eyes to Ron.  
  
"Hermione, give it a rest," said Ron, smiling at the typical behaviour, "You already know what it says next anyways." She looked up at him crossly. "That and we want to talk to you..." he added.  
  
At this Hermione dropped the angry look, deeming the excuse a valid enough one to put down her book. She closed it and put it back in her bag, leaning over the bench. Her hair shrouded her eyesight for a moment and when she flicked it back the first thing she saw was Snape talking to McGonagall. She quickly looked away.  
  
"What is it?" She said munching on her toast and giving them both her full attention.  
  
"Ginny told us you're going to the party this Saturday," said Harry excitedly. "I think it will really be good for you-"  
  
"You are working awful hard," added Ron. His freckled nose twitched as he bit into a piece of fruit.  
  
"You definitely could use a break like that," finished Harry.  
  
Hermione was not in the least bit anticipating the party and refused to show any signs of enthusiasm. She just picked up her goblet to drink and murmured a small "Uh huh" before gulping down her pumpkin juice.  
  
She put it down and looked up to see Ginny enter the Grand Hall. She pursed her lips to hide her smirk as she noticed that Ginny was looking slightly flushed and a moment behind her Malfoy came towards the Slytherin table, looking cheerful.  
  
Ginny ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it and she walked over breezily to them and sat down very close by, but started talking to her fellow sixth years after sharing a quick look with Hermione that they did not catch.  
  
A glance over at the Slytherin table showed Malfoy talking, helping himself to food and smiling. Crabbe and Goyle, being the two goons they were, did fail to register the change in his attitude.  
  
She found it incredibly difficult to try and ignore them and turn back to Harry and Ron.  
  
"When is the last Hogsmead weekend?" she said looking at Harry. Ron answered for him.  
  
"Two weeks after exams. Why?"  
  
"Just wondering... I need some new books for the holidays." He rolled his eyes at Harry and they shared a look. Harry grinned and shook his head, flicking his messy black hair back.  
  
He looked up at her and held her gaze with his green eyes, "What are you planning to do after the end of this month?" She saw his implied importance but did not understand.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Are you going to live with your parents still? Or are you going to find a place of your own? What are you planning on doing when we leave Hogwarts forever?" he said, in a semi-quiet tone out of respect for the subject.  
  
Hermione froze. The last word hit her in the face and she could finally feel the weight Harry had implied. She had not considered it. She was leaving forever. She did not want to leave. What was she going to do? She suddenly felt at a total loss.  
  
She looked away from Harry down at the bench she sat on. She was going to find a job, maybe... She would have to find her own place. It was just what she felt she had to do. She would apply to all the top Universities of course. She felt strangely alone. It was going to be her against the world.  
  
"I think I'll find my own place and a job to help pay for the university fees..." Harry could read the look on her face.  
  
"We were wondering..." Ron said, they had already planned this. "If you would like to bunk with us and when she finishes, Ginny." Hermione looked up surprised.  
  
"Really?" she said with a lot of hope that she forgot to hide. Ron grinned at her.  
  
"Of course, what did you think? That we would drop you like a newborn rat the second school finishes? It'll be the same forever!" Ron said excitedly after giving Hermione a sceptical look.  
  
She let out a sigh without being aware and she closed her eyes briefly. Harry shook his head to Ron when she could not see and Ron spun his finger beside his ear, especially so she could see.  
  
She grinned and pushed him playfully. "I can't imagine life without you guys..."

* * *

Saturday came.  
  
Ginny found Hermione buried in the library at lunch time.  
  
She was sitting at a table in the corner, surrounded by old hard backed books on shelves all the way to the high ceiling. The table was round and light brown with five wooden chairs pulled up around it.  
  
Hermione was leaning her cheek into her palm. Her fingers held the corner of the page, ready to turn the yellowing paper fast. She slumped over the book, blocking her own light. Her doe brown eyes flickered rapidly over the words.  
  
Ginny marched forward. Hermione did not look up nor notice she was even there. She planted her hands on her hips and stared at Hermione determinedly for a short while but Hermione still did not see her standing right in front of her.  
  
Finally Ginny came right over to her and grabbed her arm.  
  
Hermione started and snapped out of her trance. She looked up and saw Ginny trying to drag her away. She closed her book and stood, tucking it under her arm as she did so. She let Ginny pull her away, not willing to fight it.  
  
Ginny hauled her through the aisles of shelves by the upper arm until they reached the entrance.  
  
"What's going on, Ginny?" she eventually asked, unsuccessfully attempting to get Ginny to let go.  
  
"The party starts in six hours!" she snapped. Hermione frowned as she was forced to follow her.  
  
"So?" Ginny stopped. She turned and faced Hermione, looking genuinely surprised.  
  
"So? SO? We have little over six hours to prepare! If I could have found you sooner it would be more!" All of a sudden Ginny started dragging her along again. Hermione smiled and rolled her eyes at the same time.  
  
She sighed as loudly as she could, deliberately so she could hear. Hermione did not want to spend six hours preparing when she could be reading.  
  
"Ginny, you shouldn't get so worked up. It's just a stupid party. And everybody knows what we look like without makeup and spells anyway so explain to me the point of six wasted hours?"  
  
"Because at a party, one should look one's best. It's like an unspoken rule. Exciting things are meant to happen and when they do everybody wants to look as good as they can." Hermione rolled her eyes again.  
  
"Whatever Ginny," she concluded the only way to make the pain lessen would be to let Ginny do whatever she pleased to Hermione. That way she could get a few hours "rest".

* * *

Hermione felt like a display doll. It was not natural to have on as much makeup as she did now. But she really had to admit Ginny had done a fantastic job. She felt very fake but looked good.  
  
Her hair had been tied in a high curly ponytail with multiple strands hanging loose in picture-perfect poses and her face made up with the amount of paint a model uses on a photo shoot.  
  
She sighed for the thousandth time that hour. At last the party was starting she had been waiting ages in the clutches of a feverish Ginny for the thing to start so it could be over and done with.  
  
Ginny had forced her into a dress she had found hidden in the dusty parts of her closet. She could not remember the last time she had worn it. It was a long flowing crystal peach dress that showed very little skin, except for a tastefully placed diamond shaped cut to the right of her bellybutton. It was off shoulder and Ginny had dug up from her own wardrobe the perfect necklace to match. It was a long silver snake-chain joined together by a silver rose clasp.  
  
Ginny stood back to admire her work on Hermione then turned to a mirror. She smoothed down some hair. She had straightened hers and was wearing a dark blue dress with dark blue gloves and it suited her eyes well.  
  
"Shall we go then?" she said, leaving the mirror. Hermione nodded gratefully.  
  
"I feel way too dressy. If everybody else is wearing jeans I will see to it you shall not wake to see the sun shine tomorrow..." she threatened. Ginny just grinned.  
  
They left the dorm, treaded carefully down the spiral stone steps and got a few looks as they left via the common room.  
  
The portrait of the fat lady swung closed behind them and Ginny turned on her and placed a disillusionment charm on Hermione before on herself.  
  
"This party has not been approved by the teachers," she explained, "it would be better if they did not see us dressed like this..." Hermione sighed harder than before. It was not only a waste of her time; it was now an unapproved waste of time.  
  
"I suppose the reason you're so hyped up is because Draco Malfoy will be there?" Ginny nodded happily, "Are you planning on going public tonight then?" There was a pause then Ginny shook her head. Hermione felt bad for her but just as bad for herself at the same time.  
  
She had pushed Snape out of her mind all day and she had a very close shave at that moment because she almost lapsed into a state of self pity. She let that particular area lay to rest for the moment.  
  
"Where are we going?" she asked.  
  
Ginny replied with a slight melancholy that Hermione only just noticed. "The room of requirements."  
  
"Wise choice," she nodded. She wondered if Ginny had wanted to make it public but Malfoy had stopped her. Or it might have been the other way round. It may even have been that they both wanted to reveal their relationship but circumstances would not allow. But at least she had a relationship.  
  
They walked in silence, careful to stick to the darkest areas of the corridors and dodge teachers.  
  
They finally reached the door opposite the tapestry. Hermione tapped gently on it three times. She opened it and found that, to her relief, everyone else had dressed in their best. All the guys were wearing their dress robes and all the girls wearing whatever fancy dress or outfit they chose. They were not out of place.  
  
She pushed it further open and let Ginny go in before her before closing it behind her.  
  
Ginny pointed her wand at Hermione then herself, lifting the charms.  
  
She spied Harry and Ron over in the corner of the large room. The edges were strewn with bean bags for those who did not want to stand. There was a bar selling butterbeer and cold drinks in the corner. Seamus Finnegan was running it. The lights were not too bright to make it an uncomfortable setting and Hermione felt less prone to hate this party just yet.  
  
They smiled up at her when they saw her too. They dropped their conversation when she joined. Harry gave her a fleeting glance.  
  
"You look really great tonight," he said as convincingly as he could, with his eyes on another part of the room.  
  
"Really great," agreed Ron sincerely. He nodded and his orange hair fell into his eyes. He brushed it away.  
  
"Thank you," she adjusted Ginny's necklace, "I really wish I could be reading, however..." Harry frowned disapprovingly and Ron tut-tutted.  
  
She noticed Harry had not taken his eyes off of one particular person in the room to her left. She was about to turn and see who when Ron totally surprised her with what he said next.  
  
"Somebody here has been especially looking forward to your joining this do," he said mysteriously. He looked at her hard.  
  
"Huh?" she frowned "What does that mean?" Ron raised his eyebrows and shrugged, pretending to know nothing of what he had just said.  
  
"Time to mingle," he beamed and with that he slipped away from them and lost himself in the gathering crowd in the dim light.  
  
"Definitely," muttered Harry, heading in the direction he had been staring before. Hermione gave him a questioning expression which he ignored or did not see. And with that she was left alone, in the crowd.  
  
She looked around to find Ginny and was not surprised to see she could not be found and neither could Malfoy. Maybe she should get a drink first. She definitely felt like a butterbeer.  
  
She wove amongst the crowds of people until she got to the bar in the corner. She picked a stool and pushed herself up onto it. She leaned on the tabletop and looked over at Seamus.  
  
"Hey Seamus," she smiled, trying to be friendly, "can I get a butterbeer?" He stopped stacking glasses on the shelf behind him and faced her with an equally friendly smile.  
  
"Hello Hermione. Of course you can." He whipped a butterbeer out from under the desk. He took off the metal cap. Suddenly he threw the uncorked bottle up behind his back. It span so fast in the air that nothing fell out. As it started to fall he caught it upside down, right over Hermione's glass so that the liquid went straight in. Not a drop was spilled.  
  
Hermione was awed. "Wow" was all she could say. "How did you learn to do that?" she looked at him with big eyes. He grinned as he put the half empty bottle beside her glass for her to top off whenever she wanted to.  
  
"Oh. Practice makes perfect," he shrugged but kept grinning at the compliment. She smiled back and picked up her glass.  
  
She drank a good amount of it and started to top off the glass when he spoke again.  
  
"Did you come here with anyone?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. Hermione shook her head slowly.  
  
"Not if you don't count Ginny..." she said and took another swig. He nodded to himself. He was holding his wand up to control the drying of the glasses in the sink next to him that was alive with bubbles and moving brushes and tea towels. There was an occasional spatter of soapy water that went flying.  
  
"Don't you just love this room?" said Seamus with an air of wonder. "Whatever you want it to be..." Hermione nodded, drank again then started to stand. She slid herself off the stool and finished her drink. She passed the empty glass back to him.  
  
"I should probably go and "mingle"," she excused herself. She smiled at him and he smiled back cheerfully.  
  
She left the bar and burrowed into the crowd to find a conversation to join. There were people she never talked to standing around chatting and she saw Lavender and Pavarti talking with a group of friends of Ginny's. She considered hearing what they had to talk about.  
  
She was almost there when Harry approached her out of nowhere, startling her. He looked less happy than usual.  
  
"Have you any idea of where Ginny went?" he asked, looking around the room. His black hair was still messy but there was a noticeable difference tonight, an obvious attempt to flatten it.  
  
"No, why?" Hermione lied. She looked around the room with a strong suspicion of who she was with, maybe not where.  
  
"I can't find her anywhere," he said, still not looking at her, too busy with looking around.  
  
A thought dawned on Hermione and this time she was careful to hide her facial expressions. Harry had been acting funny recently, and while she had been totally self absorbed she had overlooked it... until now. His happiness was damaged by the fact Ginny was nowhere to be found, so did that mean he liked Ginny? It made prefect sense. It filled in all the blanks.  
  
Oh, but this was not good. This was not good at all. Ginny was dating Draco Malfoy... need more be said? Harry was going to get his heart broken and be humiliated and angry when he found out. And from his behaviour, he may well find out soon. She did not want to be in the same room at the time he did discover who Ginny was with.  
  
She gave him a pitying look. "Never mind. She's probably fixing herself up. Maybe she decided the makeup was all wrong for her dress..." she tried to throw any suspicions he might have off for a while. That might buy them some time.  
  
She turned and left Harry standing there.  
  
She had the intention of joining Lavender's discussion but was interrupted once again, this time by Seamus.  
  
"Hermione, may I talk to you?" he said. He looked up at her seriously with light brown sharp eyes. His long-ish hair fell over his face lightly. He had asked sweetly and politely. Hermione had not really ever heard him speak like that before. She nodded carefully.  
  
She wondered why he was not taking care of the bar. She looked over his shoulder and saw Ron had taken over the duties.  
  
Seamus reached for her wrist and gently pulled her to the corner of the room.

* * *

Severus marched out of his chambers in a flurry of black material. The wall closed up behind him, hiding his rooms from view. He stopped for second. The dimly lit cold corridor that sloped upwards was cold and narrow. The grey stone slabs made the walls, floor and ceiling, like a tomb.  
  
He looked around then continued up towards the light of the entrance hall.  
  
Tonight was patrol night.  
  
He walked determinedly, his long black hair shrouding his face sinisterly. His black eyes narrowed when he noticed a disturbance in the air, passing by him. He stopped and watched as the shadows of two people passed him and up the steps of the entrance hall.  
  
He immediately recognised the disillusionment charm and pretended to ignore them until they were a fair distance away. Then he abruptly changed direction and followed closely behind.  
  
They did not notice the black shadow trailing them.  
  
He wondered where they might be going. If there was a gathering or party of some sort he would have to break it up. Such a shame, he thought sarcastically.  
  
He followed them for three floors or so until they finally stopped in front of a door that Severus did not recognise. They knocked three times and the door creaked open, let them in, then closed.  
  
Severus stepped forward. He examined the door. It had not been there the seventeen years he had been teaching. He checked the surroundings. The door was opposite a tapestry of some historical crazy figure. He took note of it for another time.  
  
With a sharp look at the door he pondered whether to get the other heads of houses to help him, and decided against it.  
  
With a slight smirk he approached the door and put his hand on the handle.

* * *

Hermione frowned to herself when Seamus brought her to the corner of the room. There were two bean bags there, a red and blue with silver embroidery of stars and moons. She naturally assumed they would sit on them but he chose not to.  
  
"What is it?" she asked politely, not trying to sound too aggressive.  
  
She did not expect the reply she got in the slightest. Seamus swiftly leaned forward and planted his lips on hers. She had no time to think. She did not want the kiss and, with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she realized this is what Snape must have felt the same way too. She felt herself stiffen in the same way he had.  
  
... but she had to admit Seamus was a good kisser... and he was very sweet, gentle and probably completely unaware of her discomfort.  
  
She did not have time to push him off. She was just starting to come to her senses when the door burst open. She could not turn and see who it was because of the way she was being held. She had an inkling that whoever it was, was not here to enjoy the party, judging by their entrance.  
  
She shoved Seamus off of her harshly and he jumped back, surprise written in his eyes.  
  
She then turned to see who had just come in. When she did she found herself face to face with Severus Snape. He just stood there, tall, dark and towering in the doorway. He was also looking straight into her eyes. For a split moment she was captured by the deepness of his stare.  
  
She saw him tear his eyes away from her to the rest of the people in the room. The sinking in her stomach worsened.  
  
Seamus, next to her, looked horrified as the rest of the people in the room did. But Hermione just looked guilty. There was a heavy silence as people waited with baited breath for what Snape was about to say.  
  
He decided to draw out the silence, making the mood worse deliberately, by looking at the face of each person in turn.  
  
Hermione glanced sharply at Seamus next to her. He caught her gaze. He obviously could not tell she had not desired a kiss from him at all and that she did not feel the same about him whatsoever. She realized that he must have assumed that she had pushed him off only because Snape had come in.  
  
She held in a sigh, things had to be sorted out.  
  
Finally the silence cracked with the soft, stinging voice of Snape. "Well, well. What have we here?" he smirked evilly. The room tensed further. "My guess is it's a party... tsk tsk." He shook his head. "Since there are so many of you that would mean too much for me to handle alone and there are too many for detention so..." Everyone held their breath. "Since I am in such a sporting mood, I will give you all to the count of fifty to return to your common rooms. Then I shall come after the stragglers. So I suggest you start moving."  
  
He needn't have added the last phrase. People had already started scrabbling for the door, past him. Seamus had left too. Hermione chose to wait till the crowd was gone. She did not want to get caught in a crush.  
  
"One -" he began with a small smirk at the bustling crowd. "two – three -" The room was now almost empty.  
  
Hermione finally stepped forward and joined the last few people heading out. As she passed him she did not need to look up to feel his icy stare on her. She tried to ignore it. She was not feeling so good. A rising wave of wanting to throw up took all of her mind to suppress.  
  
She gave him a quick glance as she passed but almost got lost in his eyes. She shook it off. Now was not the time.  
  
The second she was out of the door she did not follow the other Gryffindors back to the tower. She did not want to go back just yet. She wanted to be alone.  
  
She wanted to sit outside; if she was caught she was caught. She was willing to risk it.  
  
She checked the hall to see if there were any other teachers then ambled away sleepily.

* * *

Severus stood alone in the abandoned room. He had stopped counting at six. He had not the smallest intention of going after the students anymore. He knew they would all get back to their common rooms, even if he did not hunt them out.  
  
He had definitely not expected nor desired to see what he had when he had first entered the room. Miss Granger had been in a lip-lock with Finnegan. It had been a funny experience because he felt the itch on his brain return. He dismissed it immediately but had been unable to take his eyes off the scene for a tantalisingly long moment until she pushed him off and turned to face him.  
  
When he looked at her he had seen something unreadable in her eyes. It was not guilt and it wasn't sadness and certainly not fear.  
  
He had thought, if she had to choose one of her peers, it would have been someone better than him. He thought she was way above him. Still, he did not understand why he cared so much.  
  
But there was an image burned into the back of his retina of the two of them and a small slice of anger became evident.  
  
He gave a cross, fleeting look at the room and swirled round. He marched out and slammed the door shut behind him, careful not to close it on his dragging robes.  
  
He still had to patrol and maybe that would take his mind off of things.  
  
Without thinking he headed moodily for the nearest steps down.  
  
He felt pissed off to unimaginable dimensions but was further frustrated by the fact he could not understand why. He could not shoulder the feeling. It simply would not go away.  
  
He walked down to the ground floor. He was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice he was walking out through the enormous front doors that were permanently open.  
  
The cool night air blasted him in the face and somewhere inside he knew he was on the school grounds but his conscious mind had not acknowledged it just yet.  
  
He slowed his walk down as he thought. But he wasn't really thinking anything in his attempt to push the thoughts out of his mind. It was more of a trance. He blinked slowly with a new form of exhaustion he was not familiar with.  
  
He suddenly stopped as his trance dissipated. He realized where he was then looked all around him. The sky was speckled black with white and silver stars and the large pale moon swallowed some of the darkness to his right. The lake was glimmering; it was a pale blue with rippling bright lights. The forest even looked elegant and bathed in the light of the moon.  
  
He shook his head and started back for the castle when something made him stop.  
  
He peered into the shadows of the sides of the castle steps. There was a person dressed in a pale colour dress sitting there. A girl. She was sitting on a small square rug. She had her knees brought to her chest and her arms lay folded on top. Her chin rested on her arms and her curled hair was let loose, cloaking her shoulders and neck.  
  
He realized it was Miss Granger, without even looking at her face because she had been wearing that very same dress upstairs not ten minutes earlier.  
  
When he did look at her face, he saw there was a determined frown set upon her features. He walked over to stand right in front of her gaze, maybe to startle her out of her thought. But when he was standing directly in front of her she looked right through him. Her eyes did not move nor even blink as he began to approach her.  
  
"Miss Granger!" he snapped.

* * *

Just to let you know – summer is coming. Come first of July I will have no access to the internet for two months unless by some stroke of luck I find an internet café.

O - and I decided to change it from a simple love story (it was starting to bore me - and when I get bored I tend to drop stories and I PROMISED this would not happen) it is - at one point going to suddenly change tone - no telling when - but for now its still simple.  
  
And also – I upload as I finish the next chapter. So before I leave for Beirut I may well give u guys a double chapter, just to keep u busy.

Thank you everyone.

And I know I've kind of been nagging about reviews - they just boost my confidence - thats all - u dont have to.

Luv Snakecharmer


	7. In the Storeroom

Chapter 7: finally

* * *

So far:  
  
Snape acts weirdly in class – due to his sister dying. Hermione finds out and pities him, starts to get intrigued by him then eventually ends up getting a crush on him. She puts forward an unusual plan that comes in four stages and ultimately ends up in her getting a kiss from Snape that he does not remember. But Hermione still has his book from when she broke into his chambers.  
  
One horrible party later: Seamus kisses her and she goes outside to think, getting caught by Severus.

* * *

"Miss Granger!" he snapped, with a little more malice than was needed. She started so hard that she visibly jumped. She focused her stare and noticed him standing a few feet away from herself.  
  
She gulped. He gave her a disapproving look and stretched a hand her way for her to take. She looked up at him from beneath her eyebrows with big eyes then hesitantly took his hand and stood up. She suppressed a shiver at the touch of his hand.  
  
He let go once she was up and she did too, reluctantly.  
  
"Walk with me," he said darkly and Hermione did not consider this a good sign. He smoothly walked towards the stairs and Hermione followed alongside.  
  
They were just entering the Grand Entrance when he next spoke. "Do you wish strongly for a punishment? I gave you a fair chance to avoid one." She ignored the bite in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry," she lied. "I really just did not feel like going back up to the common room at the moment..." She looked at her feet and Snape looked at her openly. His black gaze was unreturned.  
  
"This would not have anything to do with a certain Mr Finnegan would it?" he sneered. Hermione was surprised. She looked up and caught his stare. There was a quiet silence as they walked for a few seconds before Hermione forced herself to answer.  
  
"It may..." she replied honestly. He nodded coldly. She bit her lip nervously. "Why?" she dared to ask.  
  
He ignored the question. "You could have done better," he said before unconsciously speeding up. Hermione had to quicken her pace too. She frowned.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I take that back," he said sincerely, "It is none of my business..." She frowned harder. What was that supposed to mean?  
  
"I don't mind," Hermione felt relieved to have the ability to explain what had happened to her. "I really did not expect him to kiss me. It wasn't mutual." Severus' brows shot up. "I'm going to have to clarify to him later exactly where I stand."  
  
"And where is that?" he asked curiously.  
  
"I have absolutely no feelings in return for him," she said firmly. Severus suddenly felt how unprofessional he was being. The word "feelings" had snapped him back to his sense of boundaries. And yet he felt relieved in a way he could not comprehend.  
  
"Why did you choose to sit outside?" he inquired, steering the conversation away from feelings but prolonging it so that it may seem to her that he would forget to punish her. "And in that particular spot?"  
  
"I'm not quite sure. I wanted fresh air and I wanted to be in a dark corner where I would not be found..." He suddenly felt that they shared something other than thought patterns. He remembered that sensation all too clearly. It still lingered.  
  
"If you do not mind sacrificing fresh air then the dungeons would have been the best haven," he stopped himself too late. He wished he could take back what he had said. There was no doubt that she would make the connections. He glanced at her and when he saw her eyes widen only in the slightest he took a deep breath.  
  
"Are you feeling any better these days..." she asked it lightly but he knew what she meant. He frowned, now that she mentioned it he was reminded of Stella. He had pushed the thought away.  
  
"I was until now," he sneered. Hermione looked confused then she looked worried.  
  
"Oh. I'm sorry," she said earnestly. He frowned directly at her and saw she was kicking herself inside. He abandoned his annoyance just to make her feel better.  
  
"Don't worry about it," he said offhandedly. He waved a hand vaguely and Hermione sighed, relaxing. He was disturbed by the fact that he now was comforted by her feeling better.  
  
"Am I in trouble?" she asked, hoping to see how far she could push her good luck. He raised a corner of his mouth slightly. She definitely had nerve. He avoided looking at her, preferring to keep his eyes dead ahead.  
  
"Do you want to be? Because it may have just... slipped my mind..." She could read the truth behind what he said. He was going to let her off the hook. "I suggest you get back up to bed now. Immediately." He stopped half- way along the first floor corridor and turned to face her.  
  
She stayed back too. She looked up at him for a long moment before smiling. He glared in reply, trying to get her to stop. It had been a mistake to talk to her. She was now smiling at him.  
  
"Good night, sir," she said thankfully, with a cheerful bounce to it he had never really noticed in her voice when talking directly to him before. He nodded briskly back and stayed still as she left.  
  
He watched her leave. Her curls shrouded the back of her crystal peach dress and the skin of her shoulders. He turned his head and looked away as she disappeared around a corner.  
  
He did not lift his dark haired head at first for fear of accepting that there was something other than a teacher-student feeling for Miss Granger. It was not too strong so it may not be too late to squash. That thought soothed some of his frustration at himself.  
  
He sniffed and lifted his head again, proudly and strode off back to the dungeons.

* * *

Hermione did not see him until the next lesson on Monday.  
  
She had the whole Sunday to read The Magic of the Ancients. Around five o'clock that day she finished it, closing the last page with satisfaction. It was a very informative book. It also enlightened her more on the nature of Harry's scar.  
  
She dropped by Ginny's dorm a few minutes after finishing it and they talked for while. They discussed the party, the fact Seamus had kissed her, Snape's behaviour afterwards and what she should do with the book now she had completed it.  
  
Hermione left feeling happier than she had in weeks. Things were looking up. There was one black spot on her good mood, however, that had to be removed as quickly as possible. That black spot was Seamus Finnegan.  
  
She left Ginny's dorm and skipped down the steps to the common room. She hoped she would find him there. She needed to explain things to him and get him out of the picture as soon as humanly possible.  
  
She reached the last step and paused before she walked down it. She looked around the room quickly.  
  
Sure enough, under the streaming light of the common room window sat Seamus and Dean Thomas talking together over a table filled with strewn books and parchment.  
  
She paused once more, checking to make sure she was not being watched. The last thing she wanted was to cause a scene. When she was sure nobody was indeed looking her way she sucked in her breath and brusquely walked over to his table.  
  
Seamus looked up and smiled at her, completely ignorant of the emotions radiating off of her. That was the total opposite of Severus, she noted, he would have been able to pick up on the slightest change in mood.  
  
"Hello 'mione," he smirked. Hermione's eyebrow twitched and she resisted the urge to glare at him.  
  
"Seamus, may I speak with you privately?" she said stiffly. He cast a vexed look to Dean then stood. He was starting to slowly pick up on her hostility. He cautiously walked towards her. She turned and headed for the portrait hole. He continued to follow closely, nervously.  
  
She did not exit through the portrait however. She chose the corner of the room. Seamus came up to her. Nobody was near enough to hear if they kept their voices low, with the exception of extendable ears.  
  
"Yes...?" he said unsurely. Hermione finally unleashed her icy stare.  
  
"Why did you kiss me at the party, without my consent?" she snapped. He shrank a little. His flimsy light brown hair brushed his cheeks and partly covered his eyes.  
  
"I was hoping you felt the same..." he said lamely. She glared harder.  
  
"You did not even bother to find out if I felt the same!" she growled. "There is no way, Seamus, that I would feel the same. So you may as well drop it." He looked disappointed "Let's just forget this ever happened," she finished and lifted her head sharply before spinning around and joining Harry and Ron at the nearest table.  
  
Harry looked up from his book and greeted her warmly. Then he looked past her and Seamus standing numbly in the corner of the room. "What was that?" he said, sending a questioning look at Ron as well. Hermione looked at Ron and saw that he was blushing guiltily.  
  
"Ron..." she started carefully, "you wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?" she said sweetly with a twist of bitterness.  
  
"Erm..." he looked up at her with puppy eyes. "I thought that there would not be a problem on your part of him making a move," he was slowly sinking deeper into his chair, "but obviously there was," he said with a small voice.  
  
Hermione was not angry at him, after all, how was he supposed to know about her obsession about... about another man.  
  
"It's over and done with now," she said, shrugging and Ron sat up with a huge sigh.  
  
"Wait," said Harry, utterly lost, "Seamus made a move on Hermione? What did he do? When?" he looked between the both of them.  
  
"At the party, Seamus kissed me when I was totally unprepared and then Snape walked in," she said bitterly.  
  
"What relevance does Snape have?" asked Ron, blowing some orange hair out of his eyes.  
  
Hermione was forced to make a quick save. "That supplies an answer as to "When", does it not?" Ron nodded, seeing her point. Harry's attention, though, was drawn away from his friends as a person entered the room from the girls' tower.  
  
Hermione glimpsed in the direction Harry now stared and saw Ginny coming down the stairs. She was wearing a pretty skirt and t-shirt that went well together and her hair was done up in a high bun with a straight curtain of dark red hair falling from underneath it. Hermione pursed her lips to keep herself from smirking. All her new looks had started cropping up ever since the first kiss from Draco.  
  
She saw that the conversation was as good as finished and went over to Ginny.  
  
She smiled at her and as she passed her, up the steps of the tower, she muttered "Nice outfit" and Ginny smiled back gratefully to her. Ginny took Hermione's place with the boys and Hermione took this opportunity to see if it was possible to return the book. Today she did not have access to an invisibility cloak and she needed it way more than last time.  
  
She raced up the stairs to her room. She shoved open her door and grabbed her book from her bed. She ran back down and when she left the common room, under the questioning looks from Harry, Ginny and Ron, she excused herself saying she needed some air.  
  
She watched the portrait close behind her as she sped away down the stairs.  
  
She did not have the time to be nervous. She had to think. She would wait until Snape left the classroom before she would go in, obviously. She should wait in the darkest areas of the hall outside with the help of the disillusionment charm.  
  
She was half way down to the dungeons when she ran into an unexpected surprise.  
  
Malfoy approached her on the second floor. She kept walking at first but he headed straight for her, showing no signs of passing her by. She quickly hid her book in the huge inner pocket her robes. She stopped when he came to stand right in front of her.  
  
"What do you want Malfoy?" she said carefully. He may be a sweetie to Ginny but she had no idea what his attitude was towards her anymore. She straightened her robes, trying to hide any showing bulk of the book.  
  
"I was hoping to talk to you sometime and now that I've found you earlier I might as well get this over with," he said bluntly. Hermione denied the fact that she admired his honesty. She blinked. He gestured in the direction he had originally been walking. "Shall we?" Hermione did not want to put off returning the book but found herself forced to.  
  
She nodded and walked alongside Draco, in the direction opposite that of the dungeons.  
  
"This is about Ginny, I presume," she said wisely. He nodded his silver- blonde head.  
  
"So you are aware," he stated the obvious and she rose an eyebrow when she saw him visibly un-tense. His new relaxed-self was something Hermione had never witnessed. "Does anyone else know?" there was some urgency in his voice.  
  
"Not that I know of..." she frowned. She brushed some curls back off of her shoulder. "Not Harry and Ron if that's what you mean." He sighed. "But," she continued in a tone that made him snap-to. "Harry has an obvious and probably serious crush on Ginny..."  
  
"Well he can't have her," he spat, starting to get prickly and defensive. They headed up some moving stairs.  
  
"I know," she snapped back. "I'm just warning you, because when he does find out it may be worse than you have anticipated." Malfoy's silver eyes gleamed. "And from the way he's been acting, he may make a few moves before the year is out and you may have to deal with the relationship being revealed a little sooner than planned..."  
  
"Thank you for the warning," he sneered ungratefully. "But I trust Ginny will not reveal a thing until she has discussed it with me. She would not do something like that," he said firmly and surely. Hermione was struck by the caring in his voice. He obviously felt strongly for her and he was utterly convinced she felt the same way. Fortunately, this was true.  
  
"Is there anything else?" she said, checking her watch. Malfoy seemed irritated by the fact he was merely a distraction and straightened his back and cocked his chin.  
  
"Nothing pressing," he said sharply.  
  
"In that case, I should go," she said, racing back down the stairs before they changed again. "Goodbye," she called from the bottom of them. He nodded back frostily.  
  
She was behind schedule; she had a time limit for the amount of time she could spend waiting for Snape to leave his classroom before appearing suspicious to Harry and Ron. She had wasted a good many valuable minutes with Malfoy.  
  
She was soon out of his sight and on her way back down to the dungeons as she had been before.  
  
She stood at the beginning of the dungeons hallway that sloped dangerously down in front of her. She slipped a hand into her pocket, pulling out her wand. Never taking her eyes off of the emptiness ahead of her, she muttered the charm pointing the wand at the top of her head. In a moment she was nothing more than a disturbance in the air.  
  
She slipped into the darkest shadows where the torches were weakest and very carefully tip-toed over to the edge of the potions classroom. She stood, around the corner, leaning against the wall listening. She heard nothing.  
  
She dared to peak around the door frame and she could not spy Snape anywhere. She relaxed her tense posture. Keeping her wits about her she crept forward into the classroom.  
  
The empty desks stayed silent and the feeling of being alone in this room started her nervousness.  
  
She approached the storeroom door and hesitated for a long moment before she bit her lip and pointed her wand at the lock.  
  
Snape, however, was just coming back down the corridor having forgotten his note-taking quill on his desk. He swept silently down the hall and cast a smooth black shadow on the wall that glided alongside him, flickering in the torchlight. Hermione was unaware of this.  
  
She had just stepped into the large storeroom. She paused to take off the disillusionment charm, not seeing any use in it now she had got past the classroom.  
  
She found herself, once again, in awe of the shelves of aromatic potions ingredients of the rarest and most powerful kind. The light in the storeroom was terrible; she could barely see the end of the room. She paused for half a minute, feeling that she could afford it. She read the names of several particularly interesting items then got her thoughts back on track. With a small gulp she took a tiny step forward.  
  
Severus halted abruptly half way to his desk, something odd just caught his eye. He raised a brow and turned.  
  
The storeroom door was wide open. He was certain he had not left it that way. He took a few calm steps closer and blinked when he saw something move inside. He came to stand in the doorway. He was further surprised to see the brown curls of the back of a head that he recognised all too well.  
  
He slowly and very quietly walked over to her and stood right behind her but did not say anything, waiting to see when she would notice him. He just remained a towering black presence, blocking the light from behind her. Despite his cast shadow, she remained blissfully unaware of the intent and powerful gaze upon her.  
  
He became increasingly aware of a sweet smell radiating off of her soft curls. He breathed in deeply and he recognised it with a frown. She was about to start walk towards the black door at the back of the room.  
  
He grabbed her shoulder sharply, so fast that she had not taken more than the small step forward. She whirled around even faster, in nervous surprise. She felt her stomach drop to the floor when she was faced with a pillar of ebony robes.  
  
The grip in her shoulder was firm and she felt it stinging under his tight hold. She slowly and anxiously dragged her eyes up to meet his. She had expected him to be furious with her and to start yelling but as she stared at him with big doe eyes she could not find any hostility.  
  
He was not thinking straight. He just studied her face, the curve of her jaw, the shape of her lips, the color of her eyes. She watched his eyes flicker over her, anticipating him to still explode at her.  
  
The hand on her shoulder loosened and she felt the pain leave but he did not take his hand away. She did not know what was happening but she felt her own emotions being pulled out of the corner of her mind. She was blinded by them and unwillingly took a small step closer to him.  
  
They were inches apart and Hermione just wanted to lean closer still and snuggle against him like a kitten. She resisted the urge with all her might and gently closed her eyes.  
  
Severus did not remember ever feeling this way, he could not control his actions. He could feel the heat of her skin from his hand on her shoulder. He saw her close her eyes softly and he could not stop himself from smoothly sliding the hand up to her neck. She sighed quietly. He wished she would open her eyes so he could see them again. And she did.  
  
She studied the face in a similar way to him just now. His shoulder length black hair highlighted the shape of his cheeks and added emphasis to his captivating eyes. The hand on her neck made her shiver, it was a soft touch. His gaze caught hers and for a long time the silence between them spoke volumes.  
  
She wanted to kiss him and tried to show him so with the way she looked at him. He seemed to be hesitating, struggling with his morals and boundaries. She lightly placed her hand on his other arm and he glanced at it quickly before looking back into her eyes with a look of confusion. She blinked slowly.  
  
Unable to hold himself back longer, he raised his other hand cupped her jaw with both hands. She sighed again and he leaned closer to her face, then paused, their lips barely a centimeter apart. He could feel her warm breath against the skin of his face and he closed his own eyes before pressing his lips against hers.  
  
And in the dark light of the storage room they shared a soft passionate kiss.

* * *

Sorry for the small chapter, you forgive me don't you? (Of course you do.)  
  
Mush and fluff for everyone!!!!!! Tons of fun to write!

**_Mr McGhan - if you are reading this then you have no respect for privacy - I specifically told you not to. _**

**_You make me sick.  
_**  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	8. What exactly happened

Chapter 8: What did I do?

* * *

So far:  
  
Snape acts weirdly in class – due to his sister dying. Hermione finds out and pities him, starts to get intrigued by him then eventually ends up getting a crush on him. She puts forward an unusual plan that comes in four stages and ultimately ends up in her getting a kiss from Snape that he does not remember. But Hermione still has his book from when she broke into his chambers.  
  
Ginny drags her to a party at which Seamus kisses her just as Severus walks in, intending to break up the party. He is irked by what he sees and later he catches Hermione outside sitting and thinking. She explains how she didn't want the kiss and was going to have to tell Seamus that. Severus doesn't understand why it bothered him so much and why he feels so much better finding out it wasn't mutual.  
  
Later, Hermione finishes the book she took and plans to go put it back in his chambers when he's out. On the way Draco wants to talk to her but she kind of blows him off. She heads down to the dungeons and finds the room empty. She is half way through the storage room when Severus sneaks up on her. Now look at the very last bit of the latest chapter.

* * *

Hermione felt like she was in heaven. The rage of swirling emotions inside her was soothed by his touch and flared up when he kissed her. She was still coming to terms with it: he had kissed her! She felt numb but pushed it aside. The way he held her was, in a word, perfect. She had never felt so sheltered and relaxed. The warmth seeping through his robes as she leaned against him was almost too most to bear.  
  
His slim fingers on her neck tingled and the way he kissed, she could not help noting, was similar to his style, graceful, sinister but powerful. She shivered. She had no idea he had felt the same way. In fact, neither did he. He had never before done something like this.  
  
A part of him was sickened with himself for what he was doing but the more powerful part of him told him it was right. But to see her standing there, so close and looking nothing like a girl, and more a mature, beautiful woman. He knew that his feelings must have stemmed from his deepest respect for her knowledge and ability to withstand his snide remarks.  
  
He broke the kiss, keeping his face close to hers and his fingers softly on her neck. He looked into her eyes, they looked dreamy and she was smiling at him. He frowned and looked away. He straightened himself, pulling away from her. He dropped his hands and took a slow step back.  
  
Hermione just stood there, unable to move.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, looking at him sadly. He could not look her straight in the eye. She could see his dark emotions of guilt and regret plainly on his face.  
  
"Miss. Granger," he took a shuddering breath and his voice was that which she had never heard come from him before, "I am so, incredibly, sorry," he said slowly, he looked sickened with himself and spoke with the deepest sincerity. Hermione tried and failed to get him to look her in the eye.  
  
"For what?" she scoffed, she understood his discomfort. He looked up, finally, into her eyes with a vexed frown. She was smiling softly at him, knowingly. "If I had wanted you to stop, surely I would have done something," she said pointedly. He saw her reason but it made him frown still harder.  
  
She took a step closer and he breathed in sharply. He was hesitant and he almost took a step away. She slipped her arms around his neck smoothly and he stood still as she tilted her head closer to him and gave a light kiss on the lips before looking at him carefully. He was so confused.  
  
He felt his senses become intoxicated by a sweet smell again. He put his hands on her waist and pushed her gently back. He was surprised by how light she was and he treated her delicately. He glared at her with no malice. In fact, she smiled directly back at him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he said silkily, now that he said it without any anger, although there was a definite threat, it did not have half as powerful an effect. "By any chance, was that you in my chambers before? Was it you who took my book?" He studied her reactions.  
  
She looked utterly lost for a second before her eyes widened in recognition. She blushed and looked away guiltily. "Perhaps..." she said slowly. She had only just remembered the reason she had come down in the first place. She was surprised when he dropped her abruptly and took a sharp stride backwards. His eyes were glazed and expressionless.  
  
He had been caught unaware and unprepared when his vision was impaired by a flash. He started seeing events that he could not recall.  
  
¤...Hermione kissed him... pulled out her wand... "Explain to me Miss Granger, what the hell was that?"...talking...and then he permitted her to obliviate him...¤  
  
He blinked twice when his vision returned. He was now face to face with Hermione once more. She was looking sad and mystified like an abandoned puppy.  
  
He looked right through her. "I remember..." he muttered, he, himself, baffled. Hermione tilted her head, questioningly. "I remember you kissed me..." His raven eyes regained their spark and his eyes snapped up and focused on her. Hermione was stunned and speechless. She gaped at him wordlessly.  
  
She was feeling that this was a bad thing but Severus on the other hand felt relieved. She had already liked him from the start. He was not to be held completely responsible. He closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again.  
  
Closing the storeroom door, behind him, he walked over to her and took her wrist carefully. She was puzzled but not ungrateful. He proceeded to pull her gently over to the black door at the back of the room. She noted the way he took her wrist was nothing like Seamus, whose grip was gentle, Severus had a firm but delicate hold.  
  
She simply followed. She was still trying to absorb the events of the last few minutes. He stopped and let go of her just before the black door so he could open it. Hermione was feeling stunned. She looked at the tall dark shadow of him and his blazing black eyes and silky black hair and she could feel nothing other than the deepest attraction and satisfaction. She had got what she had wanted.  
  
The more she looked at him the more she wanted to kiss him again. This time she did not struggle with this feeling so hard.  
  
He moved aside so she could walk into his study before him. She smiled at him. She walked in and made herself comfortable in the middle chair facing the fire, without even stopping to think.  
  
She looked up at him to see him raising a brow at her. "I see you are familiar with my favourite chair," he smirked. Hermione blushed. But that had reminded her of something. She remembered the book in her pocket. She dug her hand inside and pulled out the old, precious book.  
  
She held it up to him as an offering and he swiftly approached her and took it, gliding over to the bookcase. He put it in the alien gap and returned to her side, choosing to sit in one of the other chairs with her.  
  
"Do we have to talk?" she sighed. She already knew why they were here. He was glad he did not have to state the obvious. He looked at her hard and long. He nodded slowly.  
  
"This is not easy for me to understand," he said seriously but as he did she noticed he was studying her face similar to the way he had a little earlier. She did not hold back her smile but kept it small. "How long have you felt this way?" he looked back at her eyes.  
  
She didn't want to answer, just to hold his gaze but she managed to reply. "A little under a month..." He lifted his head as if he was about to nod, then stopped.  
  
"And you took matters into your own hands?" She blushed guiltily. He smiled. "I am not surprised in the slightest." Hermione tilted her head.  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked.  
  
"I would have expected you to have done such a thing if faced with an emotional problem of that sort. I know your type well. It would eat you up inside until you took action," he said knowingly with a mixed look at her.  
  
"Did it occur to you that the reason you know so much about "my type" is because you are the same? You know exactly how I would feel because you would feel the same?" she said wisely, rebutting his last comment. Severus was floored. He raised both his brows at her and could not think of a sufficient answer. With a feeling of disbelief he realized she was completely right as usual.  
  
She sat back in his favourite tall green chair and folded her arms smugly. He smirked at her. Things were happening so fast. He could hardly believe what had just happened. But happen it did and now things were different.  
  
"Once again, M-" he stopped himself and continued smoothly, "you are correct." He said raising his hands in defeat. "And now the question arises – since situations have changed drastically between us in such a small space of time, is it still appropriate to be calling each other by our titles?" Hermione had not thought of this.  
  
"I don't know," she said honestly, she paused then added, "Severus." He was astounded by the effect hearing his first name had had on himself, he shivered. It was unusual, that was certain, but it was pleasant.  
  
"Of course, around others we will keep our titles," he said and Hermione nodded. She was slightly distracted by him and felt herself slipping into daydream from which she quickly caught herself.  
  
"I loved The Magic of the Ancients," she changed the subject, "Wherever you managed to get a hold of that book?" she asked excitedly. He failed to suppress a smile at the enthusiasm firing up in her golden brown eyes at the subject of books. He swelled slightly and gave her a secretive look.  
  
"It's a family heirloom," was all he answered. She sent him a questioning look but let the matter drop.  
  
A thought crossed Hermione's mind. "What do we do now?" she bit her lip nervously. Severus frowned, all be it a simple question, she asked with good reason. He gripped the arm of his chair softly.  
  
"That topic, I think, should remain untouched and let us just see where things take us..." She nodded again. Spontaneity was always more exciting.  
  
"In that case there are many topics we should leave for now," she said briskly and prepared to stand, but Severus was on his feet before her, there to help her up. She took his hand gratefully and stood.  
  
The touch of his hand was enough to start up her whirlpool of emotions once more. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he let go of her and preferred to lean her head gently against his chest. There was a moment where he was unsure of what to do and was miffed, before he held her too. It was something he never thought he would get to experience: a beautiful and intelligent young woman liked him for who he was and was in his arms.  
  
He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. It was so confusing. He had dismissed her for so many years for no real reason other than her hunger for knowledge which was not a good enough excuse. She had been right; the traits that had made him deliberately hostile towards her had been the same as his own.  
  
She lifted her head and kissed him. It was a long lingering kiss. He did not fight it and was depressed when she slid out of his arms and left, looking over her shoulder briefly with a sweet smile.  
  
He nodded his head sharply back but so that she could see the soft look in his eyes.  
  
He watched her slowly close the door behind her with a muffled snap.  
  
O  
  
Hermione walked numbly out of the potions classroom with unblinking eyes. She could barely retrace this day's events. It had been mind-blowing! She focused on the look in his eye when she had left. It had set off a much welcomed chain of reactions, first her heart slowed then sped up and she felt the emotions bubble and spin. She had almost walked back over to him and kissed him again but she thought that it was perhaps better not to.  
  
But now she was in the dungeons corridor. Unable to bear her load of feelings that weighed her down like bricks, she took off at a run. It was much easier to race down hallways when she was not wearing her school robes.  
  
She skidded as she slowed to turn a sharp corner and sped up once more, enjoying the wind in her hair and the burning in her muscles that took her mind off of things.  
  
She was starting to tire by the time she reached the Gryffindor common room. She halted abruptly, scaring the Fat Lady.  
  
"Password?" she asked shakily, eying Hermione sceptically.  
  
"Tomato Salad," panted Hermione waving a hand at her to speed up. The Fat Lady lifted her chin crossly and the portrait swung wide open, allowing her to crawl through the hole in the wall.  
  
She watched the frame close shut behind her and when she turned around she was startled to find Harry and Ron already bounding towards her. She jumped a little and took a small step back.  
  
Trying to calm her ragged breathing, and failing, the boys looked worried. They were at her side and dragging to her the nearest chair in a matter of seconds. Hermione felt as though they were suffocating her. She allowed them to lead her to the armchair.  
  
She plonked herself down on the chair and it sighed at the burden. Harry and Ron stood on either side of her. She looked from one to the other questioningly.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked them frowning. Harry looked to Ron then back to her, her green eyes ablaze with caring.  
  
"We were about to ask _you _that," said Ron with a frown to match hers.  
  
"Why?" she asked, gulping. Her breath was back to normal now.  
  
Ron crouched beside her, placing his hands on the arms of her chair so she could see him better. His orange hair and matching freckles stood out against his now pale skin. She stared him down.  
  
"Hermione," he started softly, "Have you been running?" He raised his slightly darker eyebrows.  
  
"Yes," she said with a slight fire at the thought of being interrogated like a young child who has done something wrong.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I felt like it," she said as nicely as she could. Ron tipped his head sideways and looked up at Harry with a knowing that frustrated her. What the hell did they think was going on? Why the funny looks? "I did!" she said with a tiny hint of the bite she held back.  
  
"And where were you just now?" asked Harry, bending closer to her with a sound in his voice he did not like. He seemed to be accusing her of something. She suddenly went very pale as the blood left her face in the space of a tenth of a second. She felt cold as if she had been dunked in ice-water. Did they know? Had they seen her? Oh, whatever was she going to do?  
  
She sank low in her chair and tried hard to look as normal as possible. "I went out for a walk..." she said quietly. There was a thoughtful and annoyed yet light frown on his face and she raised her eyebrows as a sign for mercy. Her heart was pumping harder than it had been while she was running.  
  
"So," he started, straightening slightly and he was acting sarcastically, she was strongly reminded of Severus. "You deny speaking with Malfoy just now?" he said questioningly but she could tell that he already knew. Hermione, who had been scared half to death relaxed immensely. She sighed, which was mistaken for a sigh of defeat. That was all? She could definitely talk her way out of this one.  
  
"Oh, that?" she said, trying to remain looking reasonably guilty so as not to arouse further suspicions. She was already formulating excuses in her mind. "He said he wanted to speak with me and that it was pressing." They both glowered a little, not at her but her explanation. "I decided that I would hear him out." She sped up before they interrupted because they looked like they were both bursting to. "Just in case, you know? However it turned out he was just going to be his normal self and a total prick, so I left. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less," she finished effectively, folding her arms.  
  
Ron stood and both he and Harry looked reassured. Harry was shaking his head and black hair. Ron was giving him an annoyed look.  
  
"What did I tell you?" he said with a touch of bitterness that was ignored. "Nothing to worry about!" Harry lifted his gaze and fixed it on Hermione. She saw his expression was fiercely apologetic.  
  
"Hermione," he said, looking disappointed in himself, "I'm so sorry." The words brought back certain flashes of recent events. "I was being such a jerk. I had thought for a moment that you were friends with Malfoy," he spat out Draco's name with such hate that Hermione pitied him strongly. What was he going to act like if he found out about Ginny?  
  
"It's ok," she said with a soft smile. "It wasn't exactly a sight one would see every day. Me – actually talking to Malfoy like he was my friend! But no, he was just as rude as usual, although I think now he has gained some new form of manners. It seemed to me that he was acting more like a gentleman." Both pairs of eyes snapped on her with shock. She held up her two fingers a centimeter apart. "Only a little."  
  
They kept their stare on her for a long moment and she started feeling uncomfortable around her closest friends. Life had taken a turn she would never have expected: her best friends where in the dark about her deepest secret and a love tangle amongst Harry, Malfoy and Ginny had gone under way. What the hell was happening?  
  
She wanted to talk to Ginny, **now**. She was the only one she could tell. Harry and Ron weren't exactly the best at understanding such topics and ignoring small facts like how much they had hated their professor ever since the first time he laid his deep black eyes on them. She had to admit she had never really truly hated him.  
  
"I'm feeling kind of sleepy," she mumbled, avoiding their looks. "I think I'll go to bed." They automatically stood aside so she could get past.  
  
She stood slowly, to emphasise her tiredness. She decided it would be best to end things on better terms with them so she gave them both a tight hug before saying her goodnights and walked away.  
  
She went up the spiral steps and right past her dorm room. She had not the slightest intention of sleeping right now. She went up higher until she finally reached Ginny's dorm. She put out a tentative hand and knocked before carefully pushing the door open with the palms of her hands.  
  
The room was empty except for Ginny in front of a vanity dresser in the corner. Hermione was utterly relieved. She smiled at Ginny who grinned widely back. She took a small step into the room and closed the heavy wooden door behind her with a soft click.  
  
Ginny stood up, dropping the hairbrush that had been in her hand, and approached Hermione. Hermione in turn walked over to Ginny's bed and sat on it. Ginny's brow rose quickly.  
  
"Time to talk, I see..." she smirked to herself. Hermione smiled and nodded. Ginny leapt onto the bed, making it bounce violently. Once it calmed down and she had made herself much more comfortable she focused her attention on Hermione, despite the fact her hair had fallen messily over her eyes when she had thrown herself on the bed. "Where were you?"  
  
Hermione's smile turned into an evil, yet nervous, grin. "You're never going to believe what just happened..." she teased Ginny with the thin strand of information knowing it would spark her interest. Ginny sat up sharper and brushed her hair away from her face.  
  
"What?" Hermione grinned harder at the urgency in her voice.  
  
"I went to return the book-" she was expecting to be interrupted and was.  
  
"Oh! Hermione! You broke into his chambers again!" she gaped. Hermione nodded. "Tsk tsk," she said jokingly.  
  
"But that's not what is so exciting – in fact that's nothing compared to what happened when I was down there-"  
  
"Ooh!" said Ginny, ever the master of sound effects.  
  
"I know," said Hermione nodding excitedly, "I had gotten through the classroom without being spotted and was inside his private storeroom when..." she paused and Ginny gasped, anticipating, "...when he snuck up behind me!"  
  
"Oh my gosh!" she squealed nervously. "What happened?! Did he give you detention?!" she was hanging onto every little noise Hermione made, in case it would leak some more info.  
  
"No." she stopped and Ginny widened her eyes expectantly. Hermione then took a deep breath and the smile crept back onto her face except this time it was much softer and a her eyes glazed with thoughts. "It was all so strange, so forbidden, so unexpected and so intoxicating – it happened so fast..."  
  
Ginny could have killed Hermione for the small size portions of details she dropped. She wanted to find out immediately, Hermione on the other hand wanted to drag it out as long as possible.  
  
"What did?" she said as patiently as she could. Hermione closed her eyes briefly.  
  
"He was right behind me and when I turned around he was so close... I could feel the heat of his body..." Ginny gasped, she was torn between being grossed out to new dimensions and sweetly fascinated by the details she chose to give. "I thought he was going to yell at me at first but all I could think of was the tight grip he had on my shoulder... then he loosened his hold and kind of just left his hand there. The feeling of his fingers..." She sighed.  
  
Ginny frowned and wrinkled her nose, "This is Snape we're talking about?" she said, trying with all her might to hide any disgust so she could hear more.  
  
"Nawh," she said sarcastically, "it was Ron." Ginny blushed apologetically. "Where was I, now?" she said looking into the air to refocus.  
  
"The touch of his fingers on your shoulder," she was squeezing her pillow as she listened to Hermione. It was unbelievable what she was hearing, but she was so intrigued she was starting to be able to look over the small factors like imagining Snape.  
  
"He was looking right at me with his pitch black eyes so that I felt like I had disappeared inside them..." Ginny sighed, that was so sweet. "I don't know..." she mumbled closing her eyes again and shaking her head slowly, "he looked as though he couldn't comprehend what was happening but..." she opened her eyes again. "When he leaned closer he paused, so close to my face and you wouldn't believe what I was feeling right then!"  
  
Ginny gasped. "Oh – my – God!" she gaped. "Hermione..."  
  
"And then..." a small smirk made its way onto her lips and she flopped back onto the bed, closing her eyes once more and allowing the softness of Ginny's covers break her fall.  
  
"And then... he kissed you...?" she whispered. Her eyes were so wide that she felt like her eyes might just drop out of her head.  
  
Hermione's smirk transformed into a satisfied grin and Ginny shrieked.  
  
"Hermione!" she squeaked, "Do you realise what this means!?" she was nervous and excited for Hermione who was too struck with emotions to see any downside to what events had taken place.  
  
"Huh?" she beamed, still lying backwards on the bed, not bothering to look Ginny in the eye.  
  
"You are officially involved with a teacher..." she gawked. Hermione was upright in and instant with a horrified frown on her face. She gave her a harsh and mystified stare.  
  
"Ginny! You make it sound so wrong!" she wrinkled her nose too. "But you don't understand... no one will... I just felt so right. I belong in his arms, in his secure grip..." the frown relaxed at her own descriptions. She wanted to flop back onto the bed again but knew it was a waste of time and energy.  
  
"I know, Hermione," she said pityingly, "It's going to be uncomfortable and a huge shock to everyone if it ever got out. But you don't need to think of that now..." She realized she was right.  
  
"Thanks Ginny," she said sarcastically. "Now that's all I can think of..." she shuddered. She did not want to imagine the faces of Harry and Ron and everyone else when they found out... if they found out...  
  
"Oops..." she bit her lip nervously, "sorry." She raised her eyebrows. Hermione sighed.  
  
"Oh!" she had just remembered, "Malfoy – uh, I mean Draco..." Ginny suddenly looked a lot more comfortable and her blue eyes lit up with an icy flame. She smiled in a similar way as Hermione just did. "He wanted to talk to me about you... I ran into him on my way down to the dungeons."  
  
Ginny tilted her head, her dark red hair falling to one side in a straight sheet. She looked straight at Hermione from above her scattered freckles. "About me? What about me?" It was Hermione though who looked the most lost.  
  
"I'm not quite sure. I, in a way, blew him off because I was in a hurry," she mumbled, furrowing her brown eyebrows. "I'm trying to remember exactly what we were talking about..." Ginny never took her eyes off her.  
  
Hermione suddenly raised a quick hand and pressed it against her mouth. She looked at Ginny over her hand. She had only just realized, as she had thought of what they had spoken of, that Ginny was unaware of Harry's feelings.  
  
"Oh Ginny..." she said, her voice laden with sympathy. "There's something you should know..." Ginny sat up straight again, her hair falling back into place. She scowled.  
  
"What...?" she asked slowly, unsure of whether she really wanted to know.  
  
"It's about Harry," she lowered her voice, "He has a serious crush on you... So serious in fact that I think it's more than just a crush..." Ginny gawped. Her crystal blue eyes flickered rapidly from side to side as she went through thoughts and memories in her mind.  
  
"W-what?" she stuttered. Hermione just nodded.  
  
"I'd be careful if I were you – let him know you're not interested in subtle ways, like talking about other cute guys in front of him, you know. And when he find out he might do himself in. He'd flip." Ginny looked so down and deflated in the space of those words that Hermione wanted to make her feel better. "But things are going well between you aren't they?" she asked.  
  
Ginny regained a little of the spark to her eyes. "Very."  
  
"Then that is all you should concentrated on for now," she said firmly. Ginny nodded bluntly. Her eyes were unfocused and dilating rapidly. The panic was being written into her skin and etched into her features progressively as if it was being written onto her by some invisible quill.  
  
"Oh Ginny..." she said again and this time she got up and reached over, pulling her into a comforting hug. Ginny was unresponsive and just remained stiff in her arms. "It will all work out for the best. You'll see..." she repeated the words Ginny had told her when this had all started. "You'll see..."

* * *

She studied hard that night but got her nights sleep, feeling like she had accomplished a lot.

* * *

Spontaneity... It sounded such a wonderful notion in the mind... but in reality it can be even better.  
  
Monday.  
  
Monday meant Potions first lesson as it had before when she had put into action her nightmare of a plan. She shivered with delight when she woke up. She could not remember being so excited about classes and that was saying something because she was the most easily excited by the thought of school.  
  
She was especially cheerful at breakfast despite Ginny's solemnity. She grinned at Ron and Harry when ever they spoke to her and she had a smirk to her lips the entire time she ate. When asked why she was so happy she simply declared she was in a good mood.  
  
Ron did his usual spin of the finger beside his ear and Hermione just grinned harder at him. Giving up on his attempts to frustrate her he shook his head and changed the topics to Quidditch and left Hermione to her smiling.  
  
She was floating on air as she tried to walk calmly behind the boys instead of skipping. The mere thought of his piercing eyes, his long black hair, his soft sinister voice and the billowing of his robes made her heart speed up and the fact he had kissed her had completely changed it from a dark and heavy feeling to a light bubbly feeling.  
  
The three of them queued up in the Gryffindor line to go in. She was brought out of her daze when she saw Harry throwing dirty looks at Draco. Hermione looked at Draco who was looking slightly unnerved but sneered back.  
  
"What is it?" she asked Harry, wondering why he had deliberately started a glaring match between the two of them.  
  
"That scum insulted you," he spat, not taking his frosty gaze off of Draco.  
  
"What? When?" He pulled his eyes away for a second to look at her.  
  
"Yesterday, remember?" She suddenly remembered her excuse and her cinnamon eyes lit up with recognition.  
  
"Harry," she said with a slight annoyance, "I can take care of myself! I don't need you to stick up for me, but I really do appreciate it," she added quietly. "So stop deliberately getting yourself into a bad position with Malfoy...today."  
  
Harry did not want to let Hermione defend herself and she could read it in his eyes. He was so much like a big brother.  
  
"Just drop it," she muttered calmly. Harry decided to do as she asked and dropped his glower.  
  
The line started to move and both the Slytherin and Gryffindor queue began to merge as they went through the door. Harry and Ron went ahead of her and were on their way to their desks. Hermione paused, standing next to Draco she whispered, "Don't worry," under her breath. She did not wait to see the relief in his eyes as she went to join her friends.  
  
She settled herself in her seat, her good feeling returning faster than you could say "Potions". She brushed some brown corkscrews out of her matching eyes and when one small one fell back in front of her face she half- heartedly attempted to blow it out of the way.  
  
She forgot about her annoying strand of her in an instant when Snape burst in, in his usual dramatic way. The poor door slammed into the wall the same way it did every day and swung back weakly on its hinges as he swept up the aisles between desks up to his desks in a flurry of black. Hermione just stared at him, wondering if she was dead because her heart had stopped.  
  
Once he was up by the blackboard he swirled around abruptly and glared at the class. Hermione knew that he would be forced to treat her the same way as usual and she was just fine with that. She loved it.  
  
His eyes only caught hers for a split second but it was enough. He turned away and waved his wand so that the instructions appeared on the board.  
  
"Today you will hopefully learn how to appreciate the most delicate and intricate steps and their importance because you will be making the most powerful mind controlling potion yet heard of... I trust you won't be as careless as usual on this one..." Harry glared, he was hardly ever careless but if he wanted to pass potions in his NEWTs he would have to bite his tongue, he was so close.  
  
"Shouldn't we start revising, Professor?" said Dean from the back of the cold room with confusion. "Exams are two weeks away!"  
  
"That" he snapped, "Is for me to decide and not you. You may find that this potion will be mentioned in the exam."  
  
He pulled his chair back and sat in it, shrouded in his robes in the normal way. "You may begin," he said lazily and the class immediately started bustling as people got up for their ingredients.  
  
Hermione stood and glanced up at him, leaning over his desk as he marked papers, the concentrated frown on his features and his black hair falling softly against his face. She looked away again. She had better get her stuff.  
  
As she left the room and entered the student storeroom she felt his piercing dark gaze on her back, but she did not turn around. She gathered up all she needed and came back into the moving classroom. People were getting up and returning to their seats at the same time.  
  
Once again she felt the burn of his stare on her back. She dared to turn around and look up at him, but she saw he was not looking at her, but grading papers like she had seen him do earlier. She wondered if she had been imagining things and sat down.  
  
...  
  
She scratched some notes down with her eagle quill as her potion simmered and subtle grey fumes rose off of the turquoise, thin liquid. She breathed them in, knowing that the fumes of this particular potion were most certainly not harmful. Once again she felt his black eyes on her bowed head. She tried to ignore them because she knew if she looked up, he would be looking away again.  
  
She skinned and sliced her mandrake root calmly and measured out an ounce on her copper scales. She tipped the slices into her cauldron and stirred it four times clockwise before stirring even slower in the opposite direction seventeen times. She thought back to their first year and his opening speech. She could not remember it word for word but knew what he had talked about.  
  
She let a small sigh escape her lips.  
  
...  
  
The lesson ended and she had only looked at him in the eye once, at the very beginning of the lesson. She felt a little less like floating on air but was still mesmerised by his grace and the effect he had on all those around him. One could not "not notice" Professor Snape.  
  
She followed Harry and Ron out of the room, looking over her shoulder once, hoping he would look at her. He did not. She dragged her eyes away, not wanting to arouse the smallest suspicion.  
  
She let the crowd carry her away and barely remembered that it was Charms she had next. She adjusted her bag and followed Harry and Ron, trying to shake an unusual feeling irking her. She had felt his gaze – it had not been her imagination. She was sure. But she had hoped for a little more eye contact than she had received. It was worrying her slightly. Telling herself that he had had to act that way was not effectively working on her and she could not understand why.  
  
She managed to concentrate all through Charms while they revised the main things they had learnt.  
  
Lunch could not come soon enough.

* * *

"Hermione," said Harry, as he dug into his chicken and mushroom pie, "Did you get enough sleep last night?" He and Ron were giving her funny looks as she forced forkfuls down her gullet.  
  
"Yes," she looked up. They did not seem to believe her. As she shoved another mouthful of food into her mouth she realized that if she stayed then she was only going to end up getting pelted with questions about her study patterns. Besides she was not hungry in the slightest.  
  
She dropped her full fork onto her plate with a clatter. "I think I'll go study in the Library..." she muttered so that they could barely hear. Harry rolled his eyes at her and she just blinked.  
  
She stood up and stepped carefully over the bench. She picked up her bag next to her and slung it over her shoulder and slipped out of the hall.  
  
She kept her word, heading directly for the Library, knowing that she might get some peace there.  
  
She could not remember walking there. Maybe she did not have as much sleep as she had thought.  
  
She could see the open entrance of the library at the end of the hall with many conjoined corridors. She could see the shelves piled high with books, even from her distance. She was walking slowly and really was not thinking about her actions.  
  
She had just passed a tall suit of armour under the glow of a burning torch.  
  
Suddenly a hand grabbed her tightly by the upper arm and spun her around.

* * *

Sorry for such a cliff hanger – But I think it was a good place to end.  
  
Luv Snakecharmer. 


	9. Ginny

I SWEAR I UPDATED THIS CHAPTER!!!! I put this chapter up a few days ago but it never came and dissapeared from document manager!!! So here it is again.

And thank u for ur sweet reviews!!! I'm lucky if I get a page in a day.... but i store my nuts dont worry - i have chapter 11 finished so I will update when i next have the internet. So here u go.

Chapter 9: Draco, Harry and Ginny.  
  
O  
  
So far: (Sighs – ill keep it as short as possible)  
  
Stella Snape, sister of Severus Snape, dies. This causes a change in behaviour from Snape which arouses Hermione's curiosity which leads to her gaining a small crush on him. She, stupidly (or blindly), breaks into Snape's chambers as part two of a four stage plan to steal a kiss from him. She takes a book without thinking.  
  
Hermione is dragged to a party – kissed by Seamus and Severus walks in just in time to see it. He finds himself irked by what he sees. He catches Hermione outside, still, after curfew and they talk. He lets her off the hook and she goes back to bed.  
  
Hermione finishes her book and goes to return it, running into Malfoy on the way. Once in the storeroom Severus catches her and impulsively kisses her (you have to reread it). He cannot believe what he did and they talk in his chambers after. Hermione goes back to tell Ginny. Later that day she's on her way to the Library when she is grabbed by the hand of an unknown person.  
  
O  
  
Note: From now on in my summaries I will only put events from the last chapter – I'm now going to depend on your memories to not forget the rest.  
  
O  
  
Hermione had been on her way down the library, slowly. She had not been feeling as full of energy as she had this morning and she was approaching the dim light of the library's entrance when she had been startled by a rough grip on her upper arm.  
  
She was spun around so quickly she did not have time to think. The burn on her arm panicked her. She could feel the aggressiveness. She gasped. She was brought to look straight into the eyes of the person who had caught her forcefully.  
  
For a moment the fear lingered as she was caught by such a dangerous stare. But when she recognised the intimidating features of Severus Snape she visibly relaxed in his hold. She did not take her eyes off of his. She did not blink and neither did he.  
  
Although she was no longer scared she felt strangely nervous and excited at the same time. She anticipated his next move. He was so unpredictable. There was a moment where time stopped and both of them were frozen as they looked at each other. The posture of Snape was threatening as he looked down at Hermione, staring up with big eyes, in his grasp.  
  
She gasped as he abruptly turned and pulled her roughly into the empty classroom next to them. She almost tripped as she tried to keep up to speed. He slammed the door shut once she was in and locked it with a satisfying click. Now they were alone.  
  
She shivered to think she was trapped with him, despite herself. He let go of her arm and she took a step closer. She thought so many things so quickly that she could not really focus on what was on her mind. She kept her sharp eyes on him, tall and dark with his black robes to match. The rabid butterflies in her stomach fluttered.  
  
Once she had stepped closer he took a deep breath and looked at her intently. She was looking up at him with excitement. He did not pause to think, he just followed his instinct.  
  
She gasped again as he pinned her against the wall in one fast sweeping motion. She smiled a little. The feeling of being safe but totally unsafe at the same time caused an explosion of good feelings inside her like two opposite potions mixed together. His body was pressing against her, crushing her slightly but it felt wonderful. She had been close to him before but now she could feel his warmth more than ever before and she felt her heart stop. She was shadowed by his thick robes, though the room was already dark, so she could hardly see him.  
  
She loved being powerless like this. She just let herself be led, unlike the two times before where it had either been controlled by her or no one.  
  
He put his face close to hers. He could feel her chest heave with each breath she took. He could even feel the speed of her heart from their closeness.  
  
She found herself holding her breath as she waited for him to kiss her. She wanted to be kissed and the time it was taking only made that wish grow. She all of a sudden stopped feeling anything for a moment when their lips met. The raging and boiling liquid hot sensations inside her just dissipated. His kiss was the cure for her constant dissatisfaction.  
  
The soft touch of his skin made tiny cool flames beneath her skin flare in delight and the feeling of drowning in her own comfort seemed too real to not be so.  
  
Now this was better than anything she had ever implied when she had talked or even thought of spontaneity...  
  
O  
  
Hermione rushed to make her Arithmacy class. She wondered if she had ever in her entire life felt so wonderful. She guessed not. She sighed as she waited outside the door to go in. There was a ridiculously smug grin plastered in her face throughout the lesson.  
  
O  
  
Professor McGonagall strutted stiffly up and down in front of her desk as she looked over her glasses at the class as they read over their notes. She appeared to be nervous for them. That did nothing to lighten the stressful mood of the exams. If their teacher worried for them then it was time to panic.  
  
Hermione, on the other hand, did not feel that anything could make her heart race the way Severus had when he had kissed her earlier. She sighed again for fifth time. The lesson had only just begun.  
  
She let the small smile escape her. When she realized that she had been smirking for a full five minutes in oblivion for no apparent reason she stopped. She looked back at her book quickly before anyone could notice.  
  
She frowned as she stared at the jumble of words spread randomly on the pages in front of her. Why had Harry and Ron not seen and inquired as to her constant smile.  
  
She dared to look up again and turned to them on her right. She was surprised to find them muttering furiously together behind an especially large textbook that they held up in front of their faces. She now understood why they had not seen her; they had been too absorbed in some discussion that appeared to have a great significance.  
  
She frowned as she saw Harry was glowering sourly and although he kept his voice low she could hear the pure hatred and resentment in it. She could not see Ron's face but his voice sounded bewildered and disgusted.  
  
She checked to see that McGonagall was not looking before she leaned over to join the discussion.  
  
"What's going on?" she whispered. Harry and Ron stopped their talking abruptly and both turned to look at her. The concentrated looks on their faces dropped and they looked at each other blankly and then at her.  
  
Harry then furrowed his black brows and his green eyes almost flared orange in the firelight. He leaned across Ron so she could hear. A look of strong distaste poisoned his features. "Ginny," he started viciously, "is dating a Slytherin," he spat. "And not just any Slytherin, but MALFOY!" he continued. His voice slowly climbed and the last word was heard by the whole class.  
  
Hermione gasped and Ron nodded, looking very green. Hermione had not gasped from the news but how the hell did they find out?!  
  
"Mr Potter?" snapped Professor McGonagall. "Do you mind explaining what exactly it is that has caused you to disrupt other's studying?" She was not angry at him and Hermione could tell. She was just agitated. Harry frowned slightly not daring to glare.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak back rudely. He could not be held accountable for his actions, she concluded. He was fuelled by rage. Ron put a hand on his arm and shook his head to prevent him from telling the class. Harry decided to close his mouth and he looked up darkly at the professor.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. She nodded briskly and continued her pacing. Harry could understand that Ron did not want the school to know his sister was dating a Malfoy.  
  
"I don't believe it..." Ron muttered in a barely audible voice that reeked of his disbelief. He was getting progressively greener and greener. Harry was panting. Hermione was just sitting there with wide eyes.  
  
"How did you find out about this?" she gaped. This could not be good - this was so incredibly bad... Ron shook his head, implying that Harry was the one more up to replying.  
  
"Neville saw them kissing behind on of the Greenhouses and ran off to find us. He was in shock," he was losing the control of his facial expressions and his face contorted into a sneer. Hermione shuddered at the glint in his venomous green eyes. They had always been a soft green before. She wondered if Ginny was aware of the fact that their secret was out.  
  
"Bloody hell..." Ron continued under his breath. His freckles now stood out against his very pale skin. His pupils were dilated in horror.  
  
"Does she know that you know?" she kept her voice low and her expression as nervous as possible with little difficulty.  
  
"No," he spat. "But tonight..." he nodded jerkily at her and she knew what he meant.  
  
Tonight... tonight, things would get ugly. Poor Ginny.  
  
O  
  
Ginny came skipping to meet them when they entered the common room, before Hermione had a chance to warn her. She felt her blood run cold in her veins. She was so cheerful.  
  
She grinned at them and her smiled slowly died when she looked at their faces. Ron looked sick, Harry looked outraged and Hermione looked worried. Hermione widened her eyes at her, to try and hint something but Ginny did not get it.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked seriously with a slightly scared note in her voice.  
  
Harry's sneer deepened. "Malfoy..." he hissed. He knew she would understand, and she did. She gasped and put a hand to her mouth. She took a small step back. The blood was leaving her face faster than it had Ron's.  
  
"Or maybe you would prefer if we called him Draco..." said Ron numbly with blank repugnance. Ginny continued to gawk at the both of them. She looked around for escape, knowing that there was none.  
  
"He's a SLYTHERIN!" burst out Harry all of a sudden, shouting at the top of his voice. She flinched hard. The whole common room stopped what it was doing and turned to listen in. Ginny shrank a little under his twisted glare.  
  
"I-I," she stuttered quietly, at a total loss for words. She looked up apologetically at Ron but he looked away as if he could not look her straight in the eye without seeing Draco.  
  
"Bloody hell! Ginny..." he said softly but the revulsion was plain. "What were you thinking!" his voice was climbing too. Ginny opened and closed her mouth several times but nothing escaped.  
  
"He has made ALL our lives a misery for as long as we have known him!" said Harry hotly. Hermione just said nothing, knowing she was unable to help Ginny in the slightest no matter what she said.  
  
"He's MALFOY!" Ron suddenly broke into a yell. There were collective gasps from the whole room and Lavender screeched from the far corner. Ginny gasped once more and shot a horrified look over her shoulder to the room filled with accusing stares.  
  
"I-" she looked about ready to faint. Hermione took a step forward and put an arm around her. She suddenly realized that she had to stick up for Ginny and couldn't figure out what had possessed her not to until now. She had been afraid of what they would think but she knew that she needed a taste of what it would feel like if they ever found out.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry Ginny..." she whispered, helping her stand. It did not look like she could support her own weight much longer.  
  
Harry and Ron's jaws dropped. The rest of the room held their breaths. All eyes were now on her.  
  
"Hermione!" yelled Harry. "What are you doing!?" the bewilderment and fury of the words stung like wasps. Ginny looked up at her with wide and grateful blue eyes. Hermione smiled back.  
  
She then glared up at Harry. "I'm comforting Ginny," she snapped, "What does it look like?" There was another gasp from somewhere in the sea of unblinking eyes behind her and Ginny. Ginny closed her eyes as the tears began to well up.  
  
"She's kissing the enemy!" cried Ron, despite the fact he was talking about his own sister. Ginny looked up at him with watery eyes and snivelled. Hermione felt the rage bubbling and rising inside her too. She growled loudly and Ron suddenly looked less sure of himself.  
  
"Does that make her any less human?!" she said, her voice an octave higher than usual and much louder. Harry looked blank. She scowled at them both. "I don't think," she highlighted the word as she raised the level of bitterness in her stare. "That it is you place to judge her," she hissed.  
  
"Have you gone stark raving MAD, Hermione?" Harry looked furious, mystified and totally insecure at the same time. "Did you forget one tiny detail-"  
  
"It's MALFOY!" cut in Ron for him. "Remember him, Hermione? Suddenly the fact that he's dating Ginny is enough to make you forget the things he's done?" Hermione's eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared.  
  
"This is NOT about Malfoy!" she growled.  
  
"Yes it i-" started Harry lividly.  
  
"No. It is NOT," she shrieked, "This is about Ginny!" Harry just let his mouth hang open and Ron waited to hear what she was about to say. The fire inside her was melting and eating away at her guts, causing pain which only stoked her fury. "It is her choice to date whoever she pleases and as her friends," she practically spat the word in their faces and both of them flinched. "Then you should support her no matter what she does. I think it is obvious who Ginny can trust the most, is it not?" she voice lowered from a shriek to an angry whisper.  
  
The whole room was stone quiet. Harry and Ron did not speak. The anger was still faint in their eyes but a rising guilt was appearing.  
  
"But, Ginny," rasped Ron sadly, sounding ill, "why him?"  
  
"Leave her alone," she said bitterly but in a much calmer tone than before. "She does not have to answer to you." She turned to Ginny, giving her a pitying look. But Ginny wanted to answer this one. She shook her head softly.  
  
"It's ok Hermione," she said quietly, "Thank you." The look in her eyes was so grateful that Hermione was so happy she had stood up for her. "I love Draco-" there were shudders from not the boys alone. "-because when I'm with him, he makes me feel like the only other person in the world. He treats me with the deepest respect. He loves me for every little thing I do and say and even the things I don't like about myself. He has been catching my eye all year and just being near him sets off the butterflies. It was not allowed by you," she pointed to them forlornly, "but it was meant to be. I would not be happy with any other man because this is what is meant to be. It is just so right to be with him..." Hermione froze as she heard a few of her own feelings being spelled out for her by her friend.  
  
Harry was now looking sicker than Ron had the whole time. Hermione realized that what Ginny had failed to remember – Harry liked Ginny and she had just dismissed him saying that she did not belong with any other than Draco Malfoy. She felt a small pinch of pity for him but he had just given Ginny hell so in a way he deserved it.  
  
Ginny all of a sudden widened her eyes and she could tell that she had finally remembered. But her eyes narrowed a second later in defiance.  
  
Ron was speechless. He looked as though it had not been a good enough explanation and was tempted to ask again but he held his tongue. Harry on the other hand had a look of defeat on his face.  
  
"That is how you feel then?" he asked quietly. Ginny let go of Hermione, finally finding the strength to hold her own. She straightened her back and the confidence leaked through the pores of her skin. That was thanks to Hermione's help.  
  
"Yes." She nodded stiffly. Harry looked down but he sucked in a breath and puffed up his chest.  
  
He brushed past her and went towards the boys' tower – Ron followed quickly after him, giving Ginny one final ill look.  
  
The second they were gone Hermione turned and hugged Ginny tightly, scowling lividly at the whole Gryffindor common room over her shoulder. Immediately everyone had something to do or somewhere to be and the silence broke down as people pretended to talk about homework, exams or texts from various books.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and sighed, letting go of Ginny. She kept her hands on her shoulders. Ginny looked at the floor, her red hair shadowing her cheeks.  
  
"Maybe you should get an early night," she muttered softly. Ginny nodded and turned without looking up.  
  
Hermione was at her side as she trudged up the spiral steps and into her dorm.  
  
"Good night."  
  
"Good night, Hermione..."  
  
It had been a wonder, how fast Hermione's good mood popped like a bubble harshly jabbed with a pin. But that night she before bed she revisited her memories.  
  
O  
  
Severus had never, in his entire life, felt the way he did now. Heavens knows, at one point he came so close but this was different. There was a danger to this feeling. It was the forbidden fruit of relationships. At moments he felt ashamed and repulsed by what had gone underway because that was the way the world went. Despite the fact that nothing other than social boundaries held them apart there was going to be uproar if it ever got out. He intended to keep it a secret. But as a secret it became something he could not have anticipated.  
  
But it was all still in it's beginning stages. There was no telling where it would lead. She may even drop him the second she leaves school. He had no idea because although he knew her well he did not know that sort of stuff about her. He wanted to speak with her about it but he did not want to spoil it. And he certainly hoped she would not forget him the moment she left school...  
  
Talk with her, he would have to. Hogsmead weekend was coming and he knew where they could slip away to get some privacy.  
  
But the more he thought, the more they lapsed into pictures of her in his mind. His imagination was so vivid and real that he could almost see her standing right in front of him. She was an incredibly intelligent beautiful woman, he decided, and he had no idea what made him worthy of her affection.  
  
O  
  
"Quit it!" snapped Hermione with absolutely no hint of bite in her voice, more like irritation. Harry and Ron grinned harder as they dangled honeydukes candy in front of her nose while she was trying to study. It was a long gummy worm that wriggled as if it were alive.  
  
Hermione made a swipe at it but they snatched it away before she could get it. "You really don't want me to pass my NEWTs, do you?" she sighed. She tried once more to continue her sentence but once again the worm was lowered slowly in front of it. She pursed her lips to hide a smile.  
  
She snapped her book shut quickly and caught it between the pages so Ron could not take it away. It squashed but luckily did not leave a stain on her book. She opened the book took out the flattened worm and chewed on it as she continued to read.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"What?" she said with a smile. Ron raised his eyebrows. Crookshanks leapt up from the floor onto Hermione's lap and curled up into a fuzzy ball, purring loudly while Hermione read.  
  
"You really have studied enough," he said in a more serious tone. "We should do something to relieve stress..." Hermione rolled her eyes. She lifted a corner of her mouth in a half smile.  
  
"Ron, I know this pressure is killing you but, exams are next week! We will have all the time in the world after the exams to enjoy ourselves. But right now... study," she said shoving a nearby book into his hands.  
  
He grudgingly accepted it and wrinkled his nose as he opened it to read. He knew she was right. He knew he should study, but he was in desperate need of a break.  
  
Harry just resumed his reading after pausing to watch their conversation. They almost never failed to amuse him, always sounding like a couple of eighty-year-olds.  
  
O  
  
She felt the stress mounting slowly. She could hardly think that week that led up to the exams. She had not seen Severus in all that time out of classes but her work had made it so that she could not notice. He had not been surprised in the slightest.  
  
She spent several hours extra working late into the night but she kept his earlier advice in mind – that sleep was necessary for best performance during exams.  
  
And when the exams actually came... she had been so surprised... in a good way. She had found her first to be a piece of cake; all the questions had been the simplest she had seen. Even Harry and Ron said they thought they did well on their Transfiguration test. She had been further pleasantly surprised to find that all the other tests to come had been just as easy, although when it came to some of them, the boys could not agree with her.  
  
O  
  
The final test had been Charms and she, not wanting to think like too much of a big head, had thought she had done pretty well. She walked out of the Great Hall that had been filled with single desks flanked by Harry and Ron. They were looking a little worried but mostly ecstatic that the exams were over. They were silent, respectfully, as they left the hall, as were the rest of the seventh years.  
  
The second everyone was out of the Grand Entrance and in the warm air of June there was a short and tense pause followed by a huge roar of noise. People started screaming and yelling, whooping and jumping. The other years watched as all the seventh years, Slytherins included, hugged each other and everyone, grinning stupidly amongst themselves.  
  
Hermione screamed along with everyone else, the relief that the worst was over and now she could start studying for University. She hugged everyone in turn, careful not to miss a single person. (Yes, even the Slytherins). She was as quick as she could be with Crabbe and Goyle but when she came to Malfoy she squeezed him tight and muttered in his ear "Treat her well".  
  
Once the bustle had died down and people were dispersing to talk amongst their own groups of friends as usual. Hermione managed to find her way back to Harry and Ron in the swarm of students. There was a comfortable silence between them as they walked away together down the steps and out onto the green, their footsteps in sync.  
  
For a long while they did not speak, just content to stroll together along the grass that led down to the lake and greenhouses. There were others walking nearby in the same direction, including Pavarti and Lavender. They were gossiping together, not bothering to keep their voices low. Hermione frowned at what she heard.  
  
They had approached some Ravenclaw students of the same age and immediately informed them of their topic of conversation.  
  
"Did you know," Pavarti asked with excitement, looking at the puzzled Ravenclaws, "that Draco Malfoy is dating someone in Gryffindor..." Two of them gasped and the other made a choking noise in her throat. The looks of pure horror on their faces seemed to satisfy Pavarti.  
  
"And not just any Gryffindor..." she said knowingly, loving the power of knowing something they did not. One of Ravenclaws held her breath rather audibly and Hermione could see a smirk playing with Lavenders lips. "None other than..." she paused for effect, "...Our dear friend - the only female Weasley."  
  
The gasps were harder and louder and Hermione pulled a face of disgust and pulled Harry and Ron away from them. She brought them over to their favourite spot under the willow tree on the grass leading to the lake.  
  
She sat down and waited for them to follow suit and they did. The soft green grass was comfortable and Harry allowed himself to fall backwards onto it, his school robes lying about him in a mess. Ron on the other hand chose to take off his outer robes in the heat of the day, throwing it casually to one side, letting it sit in a crumpled pile.  
  
The sun was shining down and all the boys wanted to do was relax and bask in the relief of knowing the exams were over. Hermione had other thoughts though.  
  
"Can you believe them!" she spat, not looking at either of them. "They just love spreading the pain and making it stronger. They are deriving pleasure from Ginny's privacy and not once considering how this only makes the situation far worse. If it is all the school knows about she will be the center of attention and will suffer greatly!"  
  
She looked about her at Ron who was not really paying attention, rolling up the white sleeves of his shirt and Harry was just lying still with his eyes closed trying to doze in the sunshine.  
  
She scowled and looked angrily at the lake, roughly pressing her chin into her palm to prop up her head. The annoyance was obvious.  
  
"Hermione, don't think about it now," Ron finally said, finished with rolling his sleeves. He shifted so he could lie forward on his stomach and sleep, like Harry. "Exams just finished." She had never really noticed how much the boys had changed. But now she saw, with his shirt sleeves up, that Ron was rather toned and realized Harry must be too. She looked back at the lake and refocused her hate on Lavender and Pavarti.  
  
He folded his arms and let his jaw rest on them. Hermione simply sighed. Harry did not so much as twitch.  
  
"Does Malfoy know about this?" she asked all of a sudden, straightening abruptly. She could not see Ron's face so watched Harry's reaction. She saw his brow crease although his eyes stayed closed. There was a distinct show of revolt on his part.  
  
"Please Hermione," he said with a groan, "can we just drop the Malfoy subject for now? I have no idea if he knows or not. I do not feel like confronting him." Hermione pitied him and did as he asked, dropping the subject but continuing the thoughts in her head as she considered telling him about the situation herself.  
  
She replaced her head on her palm and let her eyes glaze over as she followed the movements of the giant squid on the surface of the enormous lake.  
  
O  
  
By Breakfast there was a loud buzz of gossip in the air. There had been all week but it had been much slower because Lavender and Pavarti were studying for exams and not many had enough time to listen to rumours anyway. But now there was nothing better to do than hear what exactly was going on.  
  
When Hermione walked down to breakfast beside the two boys she had a look of abhorrence plastered on her face and was all she could do not to wrinkle her nose at the crowds of people lining the halls whispering about none other than the keeper of her biggest secret.  
  
She glared at anyone who dared to look her straight in the eyes. They all sent her questioning looks and continued to mutter.  
  
They were almost at the Great Hall when she spied a large group of fifth year Slytherins all looking as appalled as she did, but not for the same reason. As they passed Hermione felt the anger rise and tried in to contain herself.  
  
"...That Gryffindor bimbo?" gasped one of them. "Does he have no standards!?"  
  
Hermione growled loudly but thankfully they ignored her. Harry and Ron both put a hand on her upper arms at the same time as a hint that she should try harder to keep her cool.  
  
She took a deep breath and it did not help her much. She allowed herself to be led to a seat at the Gryffindor table.  
  
All three of them automatically took the vacant spots in a tight bunch around Ginny. The three of them disregarded the stinging glares and poisonous stares directed at them and especially Ginny. Hermione noticed that her fellow sixth years had abandoned her and shuffled further down the bench and were talking furiously amongst themselves, all the time watching her.  
  
Ginny was half-heartedly prodding her eggs on her plate, her head bent and her red hair shrouded her face as if she was attempting to hide behind it and failing. Her blue eyes were glossy with unshed tears and her back was hunched.  
  
Hermione took the seat nearest her, hugging her before she helped herself to food.  
  
For the longest time they did not speak. The boys were sullen and although they stood by Ginny they had no idea what they could say to comfort her, knowing whatever they attempted would sound awkward and forced. Ginny was looking more miserable and downhearted with each second that passed and she kept looking up at the doorway.  
  
Hermione eventually looked up at the doorway too, while chewing her pancakes, then she glanced shortly at the Slytherin table where she could not find Malfoy. He should have been easy to find seeing as the Slytherins looked murderous and were talking bitterly amongst themselves. When he came in he would probably be ambushed.  
  
Ginny was pale and looked very scared. Hermione decided to leave her breakfast for now.  
  
She looked up at Head table and was caught unaware by the sharp stare of Severus. There was a moment where nothing moved and the only people in the room were the two of them before he tore his deathly black eyes off of her and they rested on the riotous Slytherins.  
  
Hermione looked back at Ginny, quite at a loss for words. "Does Draco know yet?" both boys shuddered simultaneously, pausing whatever stage of eating they were in. She sent a frosty look their way.  
  
Ginny shook her head. She slowly lifted her head to look at Hermione in the eyes. Hermione could then see that the tears were starting to spill over the rims of her eyelids and that her bottom lip was quivering slightly. She was on the verge of breaking down into a crying fit.  
  
"Not yet..." she snivelled, her lip quivered more violently. "But when he does, what if he dumps me?" she wailed, keeping her voice low enough. She released the flow of tears and leaned forward to bury her face in Hermione's shoulder.  
  
The muttering in the hall grew louder and Hermione sent venomous looks around the whole room, attempting to quiet them down. Once again her eyes caught with Severus and she noticed that he was not the only teacher watching Ginny sobbing in her arms. Most of them were staring intently, interested to know what was going on. She dropped her gaze and returned to the quaking Ginny she held.  
  
"Why would he do that?" she said softly, "He truly loves you, I saw it in his eyes. He's protective as well. Why would he just dump you when he cares about you? Besides the truth is out. All you two have to do now is wait for this to die down and people to accept what is between you and the you will be rid of this extra worry sooner than you planned..." She patted her back gently to soothe her.  
  
Ginny stopped shaking in grief but refused to lift her head to face the hundreds of eyes on her. "I don't know, Hermione," she mumbled into her shoulder, "What if he didn't really care about me and was just using me? What if I was simply too blind to see it?"  
  
Hermione shushed her firmly, feeling suffocated from all the attention she receiving. Harry was watching with sad eyes and Ron was just watching; there was no readable emotion in his characteristics.  
  
She let go of Ginny who reluctantly straightened and grabbed a napkin to dab her watery eyes. Poor Ginny, Hermione thought to herself sadly. It was the risk of sneaking around behind their backs and she shuddered to think what they would do if they found out about her. It would be less bad after Graduation because she would no longer be a student so therefore less improper, however the reactions would still be bad.  
  
Suddenly there was a frightening hush the fell over the hall as if someone had dropped a huge cold blanket over the whole room. Hermione, Harry, Ron and Ginny's heads snapped up to see what caused the silence and their brows rose when they saw Draco standing in the center of the doorway.  
  
He was frozen and looked around the room at the whole room that was looking right back at him. He was getting progressively paler as he spied the faces of the students at his table and their mutinous glares.  
  
His silver eyes then slid over to the Gryffindor table where Ginny was looking frightened and had tears drying on her blotchy cheeks. She was staring at him too with panic in her eyes.  
  
His lips parted a little in what must have been his version of a gape.  
  
There was a long drawn out silence as he looked over at the Slytherins again and he knew he could not approach them. He looked back at Ginny sitting next to Hermione. He could feel his heart clench in anger at what they had done to her.  
  
Hermione decided to do something that shocked the whole hall. She gestured Draco to come sit with her, Ginny, Ron and Harry. There a few quiet gasps of surprise. Draco looked just as shocked as everyone else but the terrified faces of the Gryffindors looked a lot more appealing than the deadly looks he was getting shot from his house table.  
  
Harry went a pale green when Hermione waved her hand for him to come. Ron froze and remained very still with a nervous look on his face.  
  
She realized, as Draco tentatively started to walk over to them and the people sitting closest to them fled to the farthest ends of the table, that she enjoyed interfering and being the different one in uncomfortable situations. She was the only one behaving the way she was but she felt like she was doing the right thing. It gave her an unusual rush to the head.  
  
There where more gasps as Draco hesitated and actually sat next to Ginny. Ginny looked so incredibly relieved and the rest of the Gryffindors were mortified, all of their jaws dropped. The Slytherins looked horrified and sickened too.  
  
Hermione looked up for a third time at Severus sitting at the head table. He was looking shocked and unable to move. She smirked at him but he barely noticed. This was the most contact they had had in over a week now. She redirected her attention to the looks she was now receiving instead of Ginny. They were looks of betrayal and revulsion. To her surprise they did not faze her.  
  
She ignored them and she resumed her breakfast in defiance. Draco sat still before helping himself to food too. Ginny looked so much happier and even felt up to eating as well. Harry and Ron, on the other hand, were watching with open mouths at the sight that lay before them. They could never have expected this in their entire lives.  
  
However, they chose to close their mouths and eventually continued to eat, keeping a watchful eye on Draco and preferring to keep silent.  
  
O  
  
Hermione sighed. The stares she was getting were now starting to irritate her in a way she could not recall. It had always been Harry who had been the center of attention but now it was her and Ginny. After her display at breakfast that morning people had felt that she was just as worthy of their evil glances as Ginny was.  
  
Since exams were finished they were free to do as they willed with their time and sitting in the common room with all eyes on her was not exactly her idea of fun. Ginny was upstairs, hiding away.  
  
Harry and Ron kept giving her unreadable looks but did not articulate their thoughts. They had grudgingly been the bigger men that morning and allowed him to sit with them despite all he had done and she had been so proud of them.  
  
They were entitled to feel a little peculiar.  
  
She suddenly stood while Ron ordered his horse to beat up Harry's queen in a game of chess. Harry scratched his head as he looked to find the cause for his loss. Ron folded his arms in triumph before turning to her.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked curiously.  
  
"I think I'll sit in the Library," she mumbled shooting a look at the others in the room. Ron looked at them briefly too then nodded.  
  
"Yea, maybe you should," he said as he turned back to his game of chess.  
  
Hermione, however, had not the slightest intention of going to the library. She intended to seek out Severus instead. She wondered what he would think of the situation, in comparison to their own.  
  
She said her goodbyes and they did too. She left via the portrait hole and strolled calmly and slowly down the halls. There was no rush anymore so she took her time, stopping to converse with several paintings on her way.  
  
She hoped (no, she relied) on Severus being in the classroom or his chambers. She did not think it would be such a bad thing to get inside his chambers any more, the only thing he may not like would be the surprise.  
  
She kept her steps short and was not startled to see Malfoy shuffling about the halls without Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. He looked as though he could not think of a better way to waste his time.  
  
She stopped to approach him. After all, there was no rush.  
  
He glanced up at her cautiously and once he recognised her he let down his bristly guard. He even dared to reply to her sympathetic smile with a small lax smirk.  
  
"Why are you wandering around here?" she asked, she gestured that they should walk together. He, grateful for something to take up his time, did not hesitate to join her on her way. He did not look her in the eye when he replied.  
  
"I can't stay in the Slytherin common room any longer..." he sighed. "When I'm not dodging hexes I'm dodging glares," he started to gain back a little malice and he snarled slightly when talking about his housemates. "I don't know where to sleep tonight... maybe the room of requirements. Wherever did you find it? I had no idea it existed until the party," she knew he was changing the subject.  
  
"That doesn't matter," she said offhandedly. "I don't know what to tell you..." she said slowly. He nodded in acceptance.  
  
"I know. I would like to thank you, however. You have been of great assistance to Ginny and I," he said nobly and Hermione was honoured. "What you did this morning... I could not say any Slytherin would have done the same, and sadly neither would I. But then again I am no Gryffindor; that is why you belong in that house. All I can say is that I would never have thought I would have been talking to you like this or sharing breakfast with Potter and Weasley... Ronald Weasley," he added for her benefit although she did not need it.  
  
"You are going to join us for lunch again and I will not hear a word against it. They'll murder you at your table." Draco nodded.  
  
"Where are you going anyway?" he asked looking slightly nervous as the reached the dungeons corridor. "Not the Slytherin common room?" His cool was replaced a ruffled edginess.  
  
"Can you keep a secret?" she decided he of all people, other than Ginny, would be the only person she could tell. She felt a little sick at the thought, despite herself. He raised an eyebrow curiously.  
  
"Do Potter and Weasley know?" he asked, lowering his voice a touch. She looked reluctant but shook her head. He raised his other brow.  
  
"I-..." she paused. Was she really going to tell Malfoy? Yes, she was. "I like Professor Snape..." she kept her voice low. She could see of all the horrible things he had expected, that had not been one of them. He froze jerkily and Hermione was made to stop and stay with him.  
  
"W-what did you say?" he stuttered in disbelief.  
  
"And we kissed," she added, in a weird way she enjoyed the horror in his stricken eyes as he took a step back away from her.  
  
"No." He shook his head violently, his blonde hair swaying, "Your just trying to make me puke. You are joking aren't you?" he looked up at her begging that she would start laughing and tell him he was stupid for believing it in the first place but she shook her head.  
  
He gagged into his hand and had to pause to lean against the wall. He continued to shake his head.  
  
"No, that is more than wrong. That is simply disgusting!" he looked like he had been struck with a heavy bat with the words disbelief carved into it. He could not bring himself to think such things.  
  
"I wonder if that is what the Slytherins are thinking right now," she snapped, starting to be irritated by his response. It had the intended affect on him. He remembered what she had done for them and attempted to hide his revolt... and failed.  
  
"But..." he muttered quietly, looking at her with his silver eyes. "It's SNAPE," a shadow of a sneer played on his lips. She raised an eyebrow in amusement.  
  
"That's what Harry said about you, only he replaced Severus' name with yours," she smiled. Draco glowered at her. It had sent shudders of repugnance through his body to hear his first name being said by her in such a tone.  
  
"And your on you way to visit... him?" he refused to say his name in case it might help him come to terms with it.  
  
"Yes," she said composedly. He could not look her in the eye, despite her kindness towards him.  
  
"Eugh," the snarl of distaste escaped. "I think I'll leave you now," he said pushing himself off of the wall shakily and started to hurry off.  
  
"The password is Tomato Salad if you want to see Ginny. The entrance is the portrait of the fat lady," she called after him. He froze and turned on the spot. He gave her a perplexed look as he stood far away from her and she simply gave him a sweet smile.  
  
"Why would you tell me that?" she never failed to astonish him. She smiled harder and shrugged.  
  
"You want to see Ginny don't you? And you have nowhere else to go..." He gaped at her as she turned to leave before he did.  
  
"Wait!" he called after her. She stopped but did not turn. "I cannot go in there without you. They'll think I broke in or something. They have to know a Gryffindor let me in..." She realized he was right and sighed. This would mean more hostility from her housemates.  
  
She continued walking once more and called her reply over her shoulder, "I'll be with you as soon as I can... wait for me at the bottom of the steps up to the portrait."  
  
She did not see what he did next and she focused on finally getting to see the stare of Severus that could strip her down to her soul. She could not hold back the smirk as she continued to imagine him. But images in her head were nothing compared with reality. She still felt nervous as she approached the open door of the Potions classroom but in an entirely different way to how she had most of her student life.  
  
She pushed the door open warily. It creaked a little on its damaged hinges. As she peered around the door into the empty class room, lit by torches along the wall, she was met with the silky voice she had been expecting.  
  
"Close the door behind you," he said softly, only glancing at her briefly before returning to whatever it was that he was doing.  
  
She stepped inside and closed the door gently. She had not really expected him to greet her with something like 'I missed you' anyway. That was not his style.  
  
Once the door snapped shut she started to walk towards him, between the desks. She froze when he held up a hand to stop her. He kept his hand there for a lingering moment. Why did he want her to stay back? Was he changing his mind about things?  
  
She just held her breath, panicking while she stood still staring at his bowed head as he lowered his hand. The wait seemed far too long for her to handle. It was not more than half a minute while he scratched a few more spiky words onto his parchment. It felt like an hour.  
  
Finally, after and age, he dropped his quill and looked up at her and that alone was enough to make her start breathing again. She could not begin to describe the features of his face alone that made his intense stare so intoxicating. She kept still, just watching his every move.  
  
He got up in one fluid movement and swept around his desk in a flurry of his large robes. And as he strode over to her she held her breath once more. Was it over? Was he going to dismiss her or was he going to kiss her? She felt her heart pound and her blood felt like sand in her veins. The fear and hope mingled into a new form of feeling inside her.  
  
He halted perfectly a half foot away and she bit her lip. She wished she could read him better. He looked down at her and there was a short silence. He was well aware of her discomfort and found himself basking in it. Her anticipation made him feel a little better. She definitely still felt something, and that was what had been irking him recently.  
  
"It has been a while," he stated delicately, not wanting her to know just yet what he felt. He did not understand his pleasure at her uncertainty. It gave him a certain sense of power but it also, he knew, made her heart race. He decided to take a small step closer to confuse her further.  
  
She nodded, her eyes not moving. "I'm sorry," she muttered quietly, with nervousness, "I've been so busy..."  
  
"With exams," he finished for her, "Yes. I am well aware. I was not accusing you..." now he would let the small smirk he held back loose. "...Hermione." He watched her close her eyes and sigh. Her relief made him feel good too. He was beginning to get confused as to what exactly he did not like about her... He could not think of anything. Insufferable know-it- all was not one he had ever really meant. Intellect was of great value.  
  
She smiled at him a little. He had been toying with her, she realized. She closed the gap between them and crept her arms around his neck. He kept his expression cool but he placed his hands at her waist.  
  
"Tsk tsk," she said softly, leaning closer, "You really had me panicked there for a moment, Severus." She could feel the shiver crawl down his spine as she had intended at the sound of his name. He gazed at her with the black caves in place of his irises. He did not apologise.  
  
"I know," he lowered his voice and it was her turn to quiver in pleasure because it had come out at almost a soft growl. He put his face very close to hers and smirked at her shivers.  
  
There was a pause before he kissed her in which they both relished each other's company. Hermione had decided, however much her body screamed at her, that she should break the kiss quickly.  
  
She pulled away and he eyed her cautiously. She told herself she had to let go of him and take a step back so they could talk but instead she rested her head against his chest, enjoying the rise and fall with his breathing.  
  
"We have to talk," she sighed. It was Severus' turn to dread what she would say next. He looked down at the mass of curls on her head that pressed against his heart. He frowned in worry and tightened his grip on her.  
  
O  
  
Is that cliffy? I sure hope not – it's just this chapter was starting to get a bit too long so I had to cut it somewhere.  
  
I am SO sorry for lack of SSHG in this chapter. I know it is mostly DMGW but Hermione's ability to withstand public disgust is definitely going to come in handy. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! (You will forgive me won't you?)  
  
Thank you for the reviews. As you may have noticed, my vocabulary is very limited so if you have any good words and their meanings that you can't remember me using or are simply words you like that are rarely used I could definitely use some donations. Feel free to email me with them.  
  
Thanks a bunch! Snakecharmer.


	10. The Dumbledore Scare

Chapter 10: The Dumbledore scare. (No evil twist just yet :P)

* * *

So far: (Last chapter only from now on)  
  
Harry and Ron find out about Ginny and Draco. They confront her and Hermione sticks up for her. They let it rest for a while, until exams are over (they are over pretty fast because of lack of events) and once again the rumour queens get to work, spreading the news around the school. By breakfast everyone knows and all eyes are on Ginny. When Draco enters the Great Hall he is met with the horrible surprise of everyone knowing. The Slytherins wont let him sit at his table and Hermione offers for him to sit with them (gasps from everyone in the hall). He does (more gasps).  
  
Later, Hermione dares to tell him her secret knowing he could tell no one because no one would talk to him. She then goes to visit Severus in his classroom, having not seen him for a week or so.

* * *

"We have to talk," she sighed. It was Severus' turn to dread what she would say next. He looked down at the mass of curls on her head that pressed against his heart. He frowned in worry and tightened his grip on her. She could not have decided to dump him, a voice said in his mind, she had just kissed him and been scared when he had teased her a moment before.  
  
Yet he still worried.  
  
"Maybe we should sit in my study?" she nodded into his robes but hesitated before letting go of him. He felt so good to hold. She let her hands linger on his shoulders a moment before she dropped them. He was so much taller than her and his figure loomed over her, imposing and threatening.  
  
She licked her lips and watched him brush past her over to the storeroom, trailing close behind. She stuck to his shadow, preferring to be as close to him as she could.  
  
He stopped before the door of the storeroom and Hermione waited as he unlocked it and opened it. He stepped aside to let her walk in first and once she was inside he shut the door behind him.  
  
He turned and stayed behind Hermione as she crossed the narrow, dark room lined with wide shelves. She felt a little edgy but the rhythmic and sweeping strides of Severus behind her comforted her some.  
  
She looked over at the outline that was Severus Snape. She sighed softly so that he could not hear. Then, tearing her eyes away from him as he halted and stood over her shoulder, she pushed the tall black door open. It creaked a little and once she stepped inside the room the fire flared up, filling the room with its orange glow.  
  
She suddenly realized she was cold, despite the warm weather outside. She felt the tiny hairs on her neck prickle up. Severus did not notice, as he was used to the atmosphere of the dungeons. He brushed past her once more and motioned for her to sit in one of his chairs but occupied his favourite before Hermione could steal it once more.  
  
She smirked a little and chose to walk in a relaxed pace over to him. His eyes followed her every movement and she knew that no one could stare in the calculating way he did. She was sure that he could read her as easily as the pages of a book, at least was that what it appeared.  
  
She sat down in the tall, high-backed green chair, twisting in it so that she could face him better. Now she returned his captivating gaze, trying the smother her chill.  
  
"Well...?" his voice quiet but demanding. "You wanted to talk?"  
  
"That's the thing," she sighed, leaning back into the chair. "We haven't once talked." He raised a black brow. "I don't know that much about you other than what I've observed in classes..." Severus straightened stiffly, as if bracing himself for a bombshell. "I want to be with you, I know that too, but I worry that... I worry..." she trailed off not knowing how exactly to say what she felt.  
  
Severus relaxed, although not visibly, and understanding was now starting to dawn on him. He was even able to guess she was about to say next.  
  
"You worry that all we have is... promise?" he asked as she lowered her eyes. She bent her head and nodded, her curls coming over her face and anxious features. He smirked a little. "That is perfectly understandable," he stated blankly and in an odd way it reassured her. "We have, like you said, not ever properly talked."  
  
She lifted her head once more. Once again he was faced with her soft, chocolate brown eyes. They had an effect on him he made sure she was unaware of. They made his nerves tingle all throughout his body.  
  
"But I know it's not like we can force it, can we?" she added. He nodded.  
  
"You're quite right," he said then paused to think, "There is the Hogsmead weekend coming up soon..." she noted a little uncertainty in his voice and she considered it sweet. "And I was wondering if you might be able to slip away and join me for the day?" She had not been expecting that.  
  
There was a deafening silence in which he grew more and more nervous with anticipation of her reply. He had assumed she would say yes but as she simply looked at him with her eyes that knocked some of the sharp edge out of his own stare, he dreaded her response might be a rejection.  
  
"Of course I can," she said eventually. A small smirk escaped him and she grinned back at him. The fact that he tensed at the thought of rejection was, to Hermione, adorable in its own right. She wished she could reach over the chair and hold him but the arms of them held her back and she suddenly despised the chairs as she never had before.  
  
She put a hand into the inner pocket of her robes and immediately found her wand. When she pulled it out Severus tensed sharply. His kept a cautious eye on her every move.  
  
"What are planning on doing this time?" he said, not taking his eyes off of the wand. She smirked widely at his reaction.  
  
"These chairs are starting to irritate me. So stiff... and I want to be closer to you..." his posture softened somewhat. She pointed her wand at his chair and in a moment, in place of their two seats, there was a long dark red leather couch taking up the space of the room.  
  
Severus eyed the color with distaste, "Did it have to be red?" he sneered. She grinned again and shuffled up closer to him. Once her leg was touching his she felt she was sufficiently close and stopped.  
  
"Much better," she sighed, Severus just watched her carefully as she put the wand away. "So... How much do you know of the goings on from breakfast this morning?" she did not need to look at him, instead choosing to bury herself in his Victorian gothic clothes. He still felt a little nervous at her touch but did not let it show.  
  
"I can guess, as most other staff members have, that, from the display this morning, Miss Weasley and Mr Malfoy are romantically involved. Correct?" Hermione nodded as she slipped her arms around his waist as well, no longer feeling so cold. "I was not alone in being shocked by your actions... and Mr Malfoy's too for that matter..." Hermione smirked against him. She was only half listening, the other half was thinking about how nice he smelt like musk with a touch of sandalwood.  
  
"Mm... that effect was intended..." she mumbled against him. He looked down at her clinging to him and could not help feel a little odd. How strangely things had turned out. He could not see her eyes for the curls but that was probably for the better. They had the ability to weaken him.  
  
"Call me crazy, but," he started sarcastically, without sting. "I was under the strong impression, as was everyone else for that matter, that you disliked Mr Malfoy?" Hermione snorted but the sound was caught by the thick black material.  
  
"Of course I did... I am unsure whether I still do anymore, though," she said, leaning slightly away from him to be heard better, "what with what's been happening these days..."  
  
"I did not think it possible to drop such a long term hatred such as that," he raised his eyebrow and Hermione frowned and looked away.  
  
"Neither did I," she sounded sad, he realized and frowned too. "But things change..." He picked up her bitter vibe.  
  
"You wish for things to return to the way they once were?" he asked it with no show of his anxiety. Hermione did not think that he was talking about them and nodded solemnly into his chest. He felt his heart sink. "It can be arranged..." this time he could not help the thin trace of disappointment. He was unwilling to let her go so easily.  
  
Hermione jerked upright with surprise, a look of pure horror and regret on her face. "No, no!" she gasped, looking at him straight in the eye, "That's not what I meant! I was talking about Ginny and Draco!" The weight on his heart lifted. "Why would you even think such a thing?" She leaned against him once more, feeling a little cold again.  
  
"About a million things," he sighed and Hermione felt his chest rise and fall with it. "It is still a wonder to me that..." he hesitated, "...that of all the people to choose from that I was even considered." Hermione felt as if a knife had gone through her heart, he was so insecure. She squeezed him tightly.  
  
"It is still a wonder to me that no one else got to you before I did," she said as she listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart. "But why would I settle for anyone else? I was afraid for the longest time that you would never be aware of what I felt... that I was beneath you..."  
  
He scowled. "Whatever gave you the impression you were beneath me?" there was a protective bite to his voice as if he would hunt down the source of such thoughts.  
  
"You."  
  
"Oh..." Hermione stifled a giggle. If had seemed he had forgotten all his snide remarks he had constantly shot her with throughout the years. "Well..." his tone was apologetic, "You must excuse my behaviour. I had automatically labelled you as a friend of Potter. I am aware that that is very closed minded of myself but then I have never claimed to have an open mind." Hermione nodded and twisted her head up to look at him.  
  
"I don't need an apology, nor do I wish for one. Your actions were perfectly understandable," she looked up into his eyes and he could tell all was already forgiven. He let himself focus on the softness of her wide eyes. "I never really took the insult "insufferable know-it-all" seriously anyway..." he looked slightly caught by surprise.  
  
"I am glad," he said, recovering fast, "As you probably have guessed, I could find no sufficient fault and resorted to twisting your intelligence to appear a negative thing when it is most assuredly not." She felt the compliment he implied and smiled softly at him.  
  
"Thank you," she concealed her brown eyes and features once again in his robes. He noticed how her touch was soothing and comfortable and put his arm around her in return.  
  
"But..." she remembered their original topic that they had been sidetracked from, "How bad do you think it will be if people find out about us?" Severus' black eyes clouded. This was not the sort of thing he enjoyed considering but he had to.  
  
"It would be far worse than what you saw today," he said reluctantly with a returning bitterness, "They would not leave us alone for maybe months and it may even find its way into the newspaper because, unlike Miss Weasley and Mr Malfoy, I am still your professor and you are still my student." Hermione felt him shudder a little. She gripped him closer.  
  
"Not for much longer," she reassured him. He nodded and watched the flames of the fire in front of them flicker, spreading its light around the room.  
  
There was a silence as they just sat together on the maroon leather couch. Hermione snuggled into his robes and Severus kept his arm around her as he watched the fire crackle. It was a cosy atmosphere if it had not been for the concentrated frown on his face, shadowed by his long black hair.

* * *

Hermione was on her way back to the common room. She didn't think that now, after her visit, the glowers of her housemates would make the slightest dent on her happiness. They had had a successful conversation from which Hermione felt she had extracted more information about him. That was what she had been nervous about but now any worries were put to rest.  
  
She was at the bottom of the steps that led up the portrait of the fat lady where she was greeted by the by the irritated glower of Draco Malfoy. She was startled back to reality.  
  
"What kept you?" he snapped. Hermione bit her lip. She had totally forgotten that she had told Draco to wait for her. She looked up at him with false guilt. He frowned "I take that back. I don't want to know," he pulled an appalled face at the small smirk that spread across Hermione's lips, growing slowly.  
  
"Yes, maybe you don't," she said mysteriously. She enjoyed the abhorrence in his features as she toyed with his imagination.  
  
"Eugh," he stuck out his tongue. He didn't dare say more because of what she was about to do to help him. She smiled broadly and innocently at him, and he sneered right back.  
  
She started walking up the steps and Draco was behind her quickly. His growing apprehension was blatant.  
  
"I'm not so sure about this..." he started nervously as they stopped in front of the fat lady. The portrait eyed Hermione then Draco curiously. Her utter distaste at the fact she was perhaps going to have to let in an intruder was apparent in the way she ruffled herself.  
  
"Nonsense!" Hermione said brightly. "Tomato Salad." She directed the password at the fat lady. She sent a reproachful look at Draco and offered her the chance to change her mind.  
  
"Are you sure about that," she said eying Malfoy incredulously as she did.  
  
"Yes," she said stubbornly. The portrait swung open slowly and Hermione crawled through first, deciding it was the better way to go about things. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that the portrait did not close before he had a chance to get in.  
  
Once she stepped out on the other side she was greeted by three smiles from Harry, Ron and Ginny who had decided to emerge finally while she had been gone. She was also met by a wave of icy glances from everyone else but no one spoke.  
  
Harry looked like he was about to say hello but when, a moment behind her, Malfoy stepped into the room his jaw dropped to the floor. Everyone else's jaws dropped too and there were several shrieks of surprise from the stunned crowd.  
  
"H-Hermione..." Harry spluttered. "Are you out of your mind!" Ginny was sitting silently staring at Draco who stared back and Hermione knew they were ignoring the looks they were receiving.  
  
Lavender stood up from one of the chairs and pointed an accusing finger at him. "There's a SLYTHERIN," she screeched, "in our common room!" and although she was merely stating the obvious it seemed to bring people back to the realisation that Malfoy, worst enemy of the Gryffindors (other than the Slytherin head of house) was now standing in their private space where they were supposed to be safe from him.  
  
"HERMIONE!" yelled Dean, next to a speechless Seamus. "Did you let him in?!" The scattered glances that were on Draco, Ginny all directed at her suddenly and the whisperings subsided as people waited for her explanation. All the stinging eyes, sharp like daggers, did not daunt her in the slightest.  
  
"Yes I did," she said plainly and there were collective gasps. "His own house has turned on him. He has nowhere else to go and since he is involved with a Gryffindor I see no harm in it," her voice now took on a rallying tone, "And as Gryffindors, I think it is our place to be the nobler and accept Malfoy's presence amongst us."  
  
There was a buzz of mutterings that filled the air like bees.  
  
"But how can we forget the things he's done to us?" Neville piped up from the back. He stood, like Lavender and there was a defiant and confident glint in his eyes that Draco had not seen before. There were several mumbled agreements. Draco looked Neville up and down with no hint of malice but none of apology either.  
  
"Because he's changed," replied Hermione patiently. "And there are things about his personality we have obviously been unaware of, otherwise why would our Ginny," she gestured at Ginny who sent a horrified look at Hermione for dragging her into her speech. "see fit to date him? Think about it."  
  
There was more mutterings and cautious glances at Draco and Hermione. While they talked Hermione decided to sit down with Harry and Ron. Draco cast an anxious look at the room before slowly, hesitantly taking a seat next to Ginny while Harry and Ron watched his every move, unblinking. When he sat down he saw their discomfort.  
  
"Hermione..." gaped Ron, "Is Malfoy really sitting in front of me? Or am I going stark raving mad?" Hermione gave him an irritated look.  
  
"Of course he's in front of you Ron," she said tersely as she reached for her book on the table next to their chess set. "Get over it."  
  
"Get over it?! Hermione..." he said faintly. "This is not right..." He and Harry winced as Draco leaned over and kissed Ginny briefly on the lips. "I can't believe you just kissed my sister!" he snapped at Draco who looked up at Ron sarcastically.  
  
"Now do you?" he said as he leant over again and gave her a much more lingering kiss. Harry and Ron both looked away in horror and Hermione chuckled. She knew the whole room was watching and she thought, although it would be an unwelcome sight to many, it would help them to accept him.  
  
"Just don't try anything funny, Malfoy. You're on uncharted turf..." warned Harry once he dared to look back and Draco nodded to show that he meant no hostility.  
  
She opened her book with a smirk to the page she had left it at. Sliding a finger under the next page to make it quicker to turn, she wished she could see Severus again but it would look suspicious if she left once more to go to the library while she had her own book in her hands.  
  
She was also amazed by the fact no one took any further action after that and Draco was silently permitted to join them.

* * *

That lunch Draco walked down the Great Hall with them. Harry and Ron kept constantly muttering about how strange it all was. Hermione was thrilled that she had been the one to help Ginny with getting others to accept their relationship. Although she knew it was odd, she was too busy getting others to accept it that she did not have time to think about it for herself.  
  
They walked over to the Gryffindor table and the whole hall stared as they had that morning, now equally blaming Harry and Ron as well and Ginny and her.  
  
They managed to pretend to be ignorant of their eyes and all sat down together.  
  
Hermione had only just started helping herself to food when she heard the sweeping steps and flutter of a heavy cloak that she recognised well. She paused and when the footsteps stopped right behind her, she thought it appropriate to turn and look. Severus was standing between the Slytherin and Gryffindor table at her back, tall and brooding. His robes hung down from his folded arms and there was a condemning hint to his black eyes that bored into her.  
  
She wondered if was more than for appearances alone and frowned in reply. She so wanted to run up to him and kiss him but kept the glower for the sake of her privacy.  
  
"Miss Granger, a word," he purred dangerously. She wavered a moment before following his direct order. She cast a confused look at Harry and Ron but not Draco and Ginny who, like Hermione, suspected he just wanted to talk with her. She got up and stepped over the bench.  
  
In a moment he swivelled and was striding out of the hall and she hurried to keep up, almost tripping over her feet at one point.  
  
Once they were well out of sight of prying eyes and walking together alone down the hall she finally spoke.  
  
"What's going on, Severus?" She saw the look in his eye when she said his first name however he chose to shush her.  
  
"Shh. You don't know who's listening," he said quietly then raised his voice once more. "The headmaster wants to talk to you and saw fit to request that I get you." Hermione frowned.  
  
"Does he know then?" she said apprehensively. She saw her feelings reflected in his features.  
  
"I don't know..." he said with a hint of tenseness. But he straightened his back a second later as if he had just revealed a weakness. Hermione looked over at him walking beside her with his robes flowing out behind him as a result of striding. They suited his character so well, plus they looked great on him, she thought to herself.  
  
"You can't lose you job over this can you? I'm almost a graduate," she knew this is what had been eating away at him.  
  
"But you are still a student at this present time and if he sees fit he may well choose to release me..." he retorted and Hermione let the sting wash over her. His frustration was understandable.  
  
"He can't," she attempted to reassure him, "he needs you." His black gaze fixed on her.  
  
"For the order you mean?" he kept his voice as quiet as possible.  
  
"Yes," she nodded, also keeping her voice low.  
  
"He does not need to keep me at the school for my assistance. However he may consider it important to have as many of us at Hogwarts as possible."  
  
She nodded. So it could go either way... She began to blame herself. It was her fault. She was the one who had got the crazy crush in the first place and kissed him, given that he could not remember that kiss until after their proper kiss. But that had to be her fault too somehow and she searched for a wild reason to make it so.  
  
There was a long depressing silence that spread out between them making it seem that they were further apart than they actually were. And yet, being in his presence alone was enough to make her feel better. She could not explain it.  
  
When they finally arrived at the gargoyle that guarded his office Hermione wished that they would both keep walking together.  
  
"Strawberry Bonbons," he said with a strong look of distaste at the password. Hermione could not hold back the smirk at his expression.  
  
The gargoyle came to life and leapt aside for them to go up the moving staircase. Severus (always the gentleman) stepped aside for her to go in first. She did so and waited until he was once more at her side before getting on one of the steps with him.  
  
They stood close together and Hermione again was surprised to find that she needed to restrain herself from leaning over and holding him.  
  
Dumbledore's office door came into sight and at the same time they both stepped off of the staircase and Severus moved ahead to knock. He rapped on the door thrice loudly and moved his hand down to the door handle. He pushed opened the door and once more let Hermione in first.  
  
Hermione walked into the round office lined with curious objects. She didn't spend too much time glancing around it however, she was too worried. She looked over at the desk at the back of the room and Dumbledore sat behind it.  
  
His bright crystal blue eyes watched her intently as she tentatively walked over to him. For a moment she thought she saw his silver beard twitch as a sign he may have just smiled at her, but then she could not have been sure. She shot him a nervous look but he appeared not have seen it.  
  
Once Severus closed the door he swept past her up to the desk. Dumbledore gestured he should sit in one of the two chairs opposite him. He cast a look over at her that she caught before he slumped into the soft armchair.  
  
She reached the armchair and Dumbledore waved his hand again for her to sit as well. She did and glanced over at Severus before looking back at Dumbledore with a look of panic.  
  
He put his hand into his pocket while they both stared silently at him as he pulled out his wand.  
  
"Since you are both missing your precious lunch, my fault, then I was thinking that we should all dine together..." he pointed his wand at a small empty space on the desk and immediately there was a plate full of sandwiches.  
  
He looked at them expectantly but they were both staring back at him blankly as if unsure what to do next. "Eat, eat!" he urged and Hermione glanced at Severus again before slowly taking a white bread cheese sandwich. He took one after her and Dumbledore smiled, choosing not to take any for himself.  
  
While Hermione ate her sandwich quickly because she was so hungry, Severus chose to hold his until the old codger in front of him took one himself. He did not trust that barmy old man's tricks.  
  
But his worry was unfounded since a second later he helped himself to some as well. He looked down at the sandwich in his hand and did not much feel like eating it. But under the gaze of the over-cheerful twinkle that was Dumbledore he forced it down.  
  
Once Hermione and Dumbledore had had their thirds and fourths and were sufficiently filled, Albus made the plate disappear and the temporary relaxed atmosphere was once again replaced by the stress.  
  
"Now Hermione," she was relieved to find that the twinkle remained in his eyes when his tone became more official. "I have become aware of certain happenings in Hogwarts that are apparently as a result of your actions-"  
  
Severus cut him off with a frown. "Entirely her fault, headmaster?" he did not want her to take the blame alone for what he felt should be his punishment. Dumbledore smiled a little at his anxiety. The twinkle seemed to become far more evident.  
  
"Well," he said as if seriously considering his last phrase, "maybe Mr Malfoy was to be held a little responsible but when given the password to the Gryffindor common room it becomes hard to resist temptations..." Severus frowned utterly befuddled. A moment later it was obvious he realized that he was not referring to him and Hermione being an item. His frown deepened.  
  
"You gave Malfoy the password to the Gryffindor common room?" he turned to face her with a raised brow. Hermione smiled nervously at him. "Why would you do that?"  
  
"He had nowhere else to go..." she mumbled, there was a good portion of pity that came with the guilt in her tone, "The Slytherins were making life hell for him in his common room so he was just wandering the halls... He wanted to see Ginny too..." She turned to look at Dumbledore sitting behind his desk with his fingers neatly entwined together. "I did not stop to think about the consequences..."  
  
She bowed her head but kept her eyes on him to see his reaction and was relieved to be greeted with benevolence in his eyes. She raised her head a little.  
  
"Yes, it was predictable that we would arrive at the subject of Miss Weasley and Mr Malfoy being together... after all it is all the whole school talks of," was Dumbledore smirking? "Under normal circumstances this would be a grave offence with an equally grave punishment..." Hermione held her breath. "But seeing as you were acting out of kindness instead of deliberately breaking rules, I see no reason why we should not do what we can to bend the rules..." Hermione let out her breath in one rush. All was well once more.  
  
"So where will Draco sleep tonight?" she asked, still thinking in her friend's boyfriend's best interests.  
  
"I think," now there was blatant mischief in his eyes, "that, seeing as how comfortable he is amongst the Gryffindors, that we might be able to put a temporary bed in the boys' dormitory." Hermione gaped then shut her mouth with a snap. They were not going to like this.  
  
"But sir-" she started hurriedly.  
  
"No buts, Miss Granger," he waggled a finger at her, "I'm sure that he will get along fine with the other habitants of the room..." she knew that he knew and just sat there watching him with wide eyes like a fish out of water.  
  
"So I can go?" she wanted to escape. Dumbledore dragged out the space between her question and his reply. She just watched him intently. Finally he nodded slowly.  
  
"Yes you may," he started, turning to Severus, "You as well, Severus." He nodded shortly at him and stood. Hermione pushed herself up from the chair to stand beside him. Severus was starting to wonder exactly why he had needed to stay with them for that. He shook it off. Hermione was standing close to him once more and the heat and sweet smell of her hair was enough to weaken him.  
  
They both started for the door. Severus got there first and opened it for her to go through when Dumbledore spoke.  
  
"Be careful, both of you, until Graduation," he called after them cryptically. Hermione froze but did not turn to look at him. She took a deep breath and continued to leave. Severus shot him a bewildered look before exiting and shutting the door behind them both.  
  
"What was that?" she looked up at the tall brooding characteristics of Severus. He briefly met her eyes and then ripped them away.  
  
"The old codger knows..." he sighed. Hermione gasped, raising her hands as though she was going to cover her mouth then changed her mind.  
  
"How?!" she seemed surprised by Dumbledore's peculiar ability. He on the other hand was just relieved that he was going to leave them be. That was more than he could have hoped for.  
  
"I have no idea but that is simply what he does. He knows everything that happens in Hogwarts," he could feel he was detaching himself a little from her but that was just his way of dealing with his brush with unemployment.  
  
"Hmm..." she frowned at the floor. A moment later she buried her face in her hands, catching Severus totally off guard. He could not see whether or not she was crying but strongly suspected she was. For an uncomfortable moment he just watched her, at a loss for what to do. Then he turned and pulled her against him.  
  
Her arms were crushed a little but she did not care. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, wondering what exactly he could say. She was shaking a little in his secure hold. Her quivering frame sent shock waves of realization through his body.  
  
They reached the bottom of the stairs and where the stairs stopped moving they stood still, silent. His black robes cloaked her and made her feel sheltered. He was keeping a careful eye on the exit to be prepared for anyone coming in. But no one did.  
  
When after a minute or so she still had not stopped quaking in his arms he stroked the full length of her back in an attempt to calm her. She shivered at the soft touch and slowly she relaxed, but he did not let go.  
  
When she sighed against him as a sign she was now no longer sobbing, he pushed her back a little to look her straight in the eye. She dragged her gaze up to meet his and he saw her russet eyes were watery and red. She swallowed as he looked her over carefully. She could not remember seeing such concern before.  
  
He brought a hand up to her cheek. "What's wrong?" he asked silkily, his voice quiet and gentle. She suddenly looked angry at herself for crying, and revealing her insecurities.  
  
"I don't think I could deal with the reactions," her voice cracked a little, "w-when they find out... I thought I could because of what I did for Ginny and Malfoy but..." she pressed her face against him once more in an effort to hide, "It's a completely different thing..." the sound of her voice came out muffled from his clothes.  
  
He frowned. "We don't have to worry about that yet," he said soothingly but she could not see the anxious look on his face. "Not for a while yet..." Hermione sighed once more against him, taking in his scent and feeling a lot better.  
  
Suddenly he tensed and at first Hermione could not understand why then she jerked away from him, hurriedly when she heard "Strawberry Bonbon" being said by, most likely, Professor McGonagall outside. Severus likewise pushed her away from him so that she was standing a foot away and when the wall opened to reveal McGonagall, they both looked up at her, nervously.  
  
She looked slowly from one to the other, taking in the watery eyes and blotchy cheeks of Hermione and when she saw Severus standing next to her she needed no further explanation. She gave Severus and accusing glance as she walked past them and up the stairs.  
  
"Severus, it is not nice to make the students cry," she tut-tutted as she got on the moving staircase. She sent a slightly pitying look at Hermione but did not say any more. Severus narrowed his eyes and glowered icily after her until she disappeared from sight.  
  
"Maybe we should go somewhere else..." Hermione muttered as Severus glared at McGonagall's back. He turned to look at her.  
  
"Indeed. You should return to your house," he said, there was a slight stiffness in his order but she ignored it. He looked as though he was just about to leave her there but Hermione held onto him once more.  
  
"Alright," she said and put her face up to his to kiss him. He shot a worried look over her shoulder at the staircase but Hermione doubted McGonagall would come back down so soon. She smiled at him for a moment before she closed the gap between them.  
  
The feeling of kissing him once more conjured up hot liquid bliss that flowed through her veins in place of blood. She melted against his touch and felt a lot better this way than she had a few moments ago. Her worries died in an instant. It was too right to be wrong. The warmth of his kiss made her realize she did not need the approval of anyone, only him.  
  
She did not want to break the kiss and when he did she was sorely disappointed and wanted more. She looked up at him and was frustrated to find that he was looking at her uncertainly, as though he still did not feel he was worth her time. She put a hand up to the back of his neck and stroked it softly repeatedly and was pleased to feel him shiver. He closed his eyes. Why did she do this to him?  
  
Suddenly the door at the top of the stairs creaked open and Hermione leapt backwards, away from him in surprise. He shot an edgy look at the stairs and gestured she should leave quickly ahead of him.  
  
She caught his eye shortly and turned to leave before McGonagall came down. She stepped out of the opening in the wall and raced away so there would be fair distance between him and her.  
  
As she rushed down the hall she already felt withdrawal symptoms like an addict. She wanted to turn around and run right back to him but she could not. Her breathing became shallower. She needed him to be able to relax and to breathe. She was certain that if she was kept away from him long enough she would shrivel and die like a plant without water.  
  
As she slowed and rounded a corner she frowned in thought. She was attracted to everything about him, his tall dark brooding posture the black of his eyes and the sweep of his walk but did she love him? She had not even considered it until now. She roughly shoved that thought away. She did not want to think of such things just yet.

* * *

When she got back to the common room she was not too shocked to see Draco sitting with her friends. And although this was still a new sight for sore eyes, she did not even bother to wonder at it.  
  
Ginny was sitting in his lap and Ron and Harry were twisted violently in their chairs to block out the view as much as possible. They were still playing chess she noticed.  
  
As she approached them Ginny grinned up at her "Hey! Look who's back?" she was smirking and Draco raised an eyebrow at her but Harry and Ron overrode her happiness to see her again with their curiosity. Harry's green eyes locked on her.  
  
"What happened?" he asked her standing up as if he was going to help her over to a chair but she sat down in the spare one before he could do anything. She sent him a shaky smile and he sat down again, watching her closely. She looked at Ginny and Draco who were staring at her knowingly and appeared far too smug for her liking. But when she looked at Ron and Harry she was met with questions in their eyes and she sighed softly.  
  
"Dumbledore wanted to speak with me," she began and suddenly the smugness disappeared from their faces. Hermione slumped back into her chair, feeling heavier and dragged down now that she was without Severus. The softness of the chair was a welcome feeling.  
  
"What? Why?" Ron looked horrified by the fact that Hermione might get in such trouble.  
  
"It was about the fact that I let Draco into the common room..." Harry glowered at Draco but Hermione shook her head. "No, no. It's alright, don't worry..." she sighed, exactly how should she break it to them? "He said since I was not acting in my own interests that he would bend the rules. However..." the boys tensed and she saw Draco looked a touch guilty for being the cause of her troubles (but it did not bother him that much) "Since he cannot go back to his own common room..." she hesitated.  
  
"Yes?" Malfoy raised an inquisitive brow. Hermione shot an uneasy glance at Harry then Ron. Ginny frowned.  
  
"There will be temporary bed set up in the boys' dorm-"  
  
"WHAT!" Ron roared. Hermione shrank in her chair. Harry looked as though this was too much, even though what had already happened had been far too much as well. Ginny went pale. Things had been going well so far. Draco had almost been accepted as a presence by the other Gryffindors... but how badly would they react to him moving in...  
  
Several heads turned but by now the urgency with which people's attention shifted to them was definitely diminishing.  
  
"What now?" called Seamus from the other side of the room. He almost asked lazily. Several more people looked up from what their business.  
  
"Malfoy's moving in with us!" Harry appeared surprised at the sound of his own voice and his looked around the room disbelievingly.  
  
"Come again?" said the equally disbelieving voice of Colin Creevey.  
  
"Says who?!" snapped Dean, thinking they were just trying to trick them. Draco wasn't allowed to move in with them, was he?  
  
"Dumbledore," said Harry still sounding sceptical. Lavender gasped but she was the only one this time. Draco had not so much as moved a single hair since he had first heard the news. He had been more stunned than all of them. Moving in with the Gryffindors? He would have thought this would be his worst nightmare. But he found a small part of himself wanted to belong. The fact that he had no where else to go was what had made it more evident.  
  
"Why did he do that?" The eyes of the people who were bothered to look up now turned to Hermione who seemed the only person who could answer such questions seeing as she was the one who was usually behind such happenings.  
  
She looked up at them and for the first time since she had started being under the accusing eyes that breakfast she actually felt petrified of their attention. She had blindly helped them and not once considered the stares she got but now... now she was imagining different reasons for why they watched her every move. She imagined that they had found out about her secret. Would it really be worse than this? How much?  
  
She outwardly kept her cool, glancing once at Ginny on Malfoy's lap. "He said it would not be wise for Malfoy to go back to the Slytherin common room at this moment and that since..." she was going to have to twist his words some, "Since the Gryffindors have been so kind so far that he was sure that we could find it in ourselves to let him sleep here too..."  
  
Some looked happy, others miffed but Harry, Ron, Ginny and Draco watched her sceptically. Once everyone else had lost interest and turned away Ron leaned forward.  
  
"He didn't say that did he?" frowned Ron, knowing her too well. Hermione raised the corners of her mouth nervously and shook her head.  
  
"No..." her nervous smile dimmed some "But he did say that say that we have been getting on well enough and he was sure that you would be gracious enough not to rip out his throat..." Ginny snorted and looked at Harry and Ron.  
  
"Be nice, won't you?" she glared at them. They looked tentative and for a long moment it looked as though they were seriously considering ripping out his throat but eventually they nodded slowly. Ginny grinned broadly at them then snuggled against Draco.  
  
Hermione felt insanely jealous all of a sudden. Ginny had her forbidden relationship and people had accepted it and she was free to love Malfoy in public. What more, she wanted to be in Severus' arms in a similar way to the way Draco held Ginny. But she knew that it would take a lot for him to be so easily accepted.  
  
So much was wrong in her world... it had been flipped upside-down in about a month or so. But she refused to imagine a life without Severus. They were meant to be, there was no question.

* * *

Sorry, no telling when the evil will kick in...(even I don't know! Well...sort of... I know when but not how much more writing...)

Also I have to give u guys the situation at hand 4 me to give u an idea as to when I can next update: I am using my dad's portable for the internet connected through the phone line to his company's connection. But I'm in the middle of a move from Norway to Qatar with a 7 week stopover in Lebanon with family. My dad is leaving before I am to Qatar to help unpack and get the boxes in the right place, etc. He's leaving tomorrow and taking his computer with him (and any access to the internet) but he's returning to lebanon on the 7th or 8th of August. So... That'll give me more time to write.  
  
THANK U SO MUCH FOR UR SWEET REVIEWS!!!! they really make me enjoy writing much more.  
  
Ok...I said my bit...

Luv Snakecharmer.


	11. When I Kissed the Teacher

Chapter 11: When I kissed the teacher (Inspired by ABBA)

* * *

Last chapter:  
  
Hermione and Severus talk properly for the first time. Draco actually goes into the common room and the Gryffindors (though shocked) let him stay. At lunch Severus is sent to fetch her to go and see Dumbledore. They think that he knows (and he does) but he is just warning her about letting Draco into the Gryffindor tower. He bends the rules and even lets Malfoy sleep in the boys' dorm. However on their way out he hints that he knows about them. Hermione starts feeling some of the pressure and wishes that, like Ginny and Draco, that their secret could just come out and people would accept it.

* * *

(A cute poem I wanted u to hear)  
  
"To A Friend  
  
There is a magic upon your lips  
  
There is a chasm to your gaze

And the sound of your voice

Ethereal music of a dream portrays.'

There is a serenity on your brow 

There is a darkness in your hair

A flurry of floral spirit all around,

Where'er you walk, floating in the air.

There is a treasure if eternal wisdom 

In the dimple of your cheek

A fount of health flowing from your mind,

Which to all hearts doth speak.

Within you is a world of spring, 

That soulful, chaotic season

Which I cannot possibly forget

But dote upon, without a need to reason."  
  
Emil Aarestrup 1838

* * *

Hermione was in heaven, if heaven was this good. She was lying on the large leather couch in front of the enormous fireplace with Severus. Her head was lying on his moving chest.  
  
They had not spoken once but... it might ruin the atmosphere.  
  
Hermione shuffled a tiny bit closer to him and he held her tighter beside him. He was leaning against the arm of the sofa, half upright. His beetle black eyes did not move from her face. He had a hand resting on her upper arm gently. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt and jeans so the touch on her arm felt more electric than usual.  
  
Her curls spilled over her shoulders and she closed her eyes, sighing. He could feel her frame rise and fall in his grasp. He was clad in his usual black gothic Victorian style clothes and robes. The slender, fine-boned fingers that brushed the warmth of her skin made her want to shiver.  
  
Their legs were spread out in front of them, entangled loosely. The heat of their bodies mingled and in the cold of the dungeons, Hermione was kept sufficiently warm. The way he held her was as though she was delicate and precious and if not handled correctly would fall apart. He rested his chin at her temple as he watched the radiating glow emitted from the writhing amber flames.  
  
She placed her hand softly on top of his that rested on her arm. Several stray strands of straight black hair brushed her cheeks and she closed her eyes. The sensation of being held in such a way made her sure her life was complete.  
  
Severus breathed in deeply. Beneath the smell of her sweet hair was the soft milky scent of woman. He would never have imagined that he might one day hold the warm body of a young, intelligent woman such as Hermione. It was too much for him to contemplate so he left the thought to rest while he watched the fire burn brightly.  
  
There was a sharp crackle from the sputtering fireplace and he felt Hermione shift slightly against him, sighing again. He looked away from the fire and into her large brown eyes that were looking back up at him. He kept his features cool and intense and she smiled at him before pressing her head against his chest once more.  
  
His eyes slid over to the small table beside them on which lay a good-sized book of poetry. They had been reading together for a while before they had decided to settle for silence. He lowered his gaze from the red backed book, to the flames and rested his chin back on her temple.  
  
She closed her eyes again, her lashes stroking the thick black material of his long robes. This was the most wonderful feeling she had ever experienced and it filled her up like a warm creamy liquid.  
  
"I love you Severus," she whispered soothingly. Severus was caught off guard. She loved him...? ... loved him... It seemed surreal. Things were in their early stages yet and those words were not ones easily taken back. So she must have meant them...  
  
Then it led to the question... Did he love Hermione? Her presence calmed him and he felt so free of his own chains that he had locked himself in. She affected him in ways he had never thought possible... so... did he? It wasn't proper... It wasn't supposed to be...  
  
"I love you too, Hermione..." he replied, his silky voice also in a whisper. But he was met by her slow rhythmic breathing and he realized she had fallen asleep in his arms while he had paused. He looked down at her to be sure and indeed her eyes were softly closed and her face was relaxed.  
  
It was his turn to sigh and he held the sleeping Hermione tighter. He was unsure of what to do next. He did not want to wake her. Could he sleep here tonight? He hardly ever slept properly anyway. And often he was unable to sleep in his own bed. He saw no reason why not so he shifted into a more comfortable position and, with his head resting on hers, he closed his eyes too...

* * *

"Where were you?!" asked a panicked Harry when she trundled into the Great Hall at breakfast to sit with her friends. She was on cloud nine so she was not really listening fully to all he said but replied as if everything was normal.  
  
She sat down on the hard wooden bench next to Ginny and looked over the table at Harry and Ron. "I woke up a few hours early and couldn't sleep so I went down to the Library to read poetry," she smiled sweetly. She picked up a piece of toast and dropped it breezily onto her plate. The smile remained on her lips as Harry and Ron shrugged at each other, finding her excuse a valid one.  
  
"Then where were you last night...?" Ginny said quietly while the boys across from her were immersed in their discussions of Quidditch. While Ginny was turned away from him, Draco pulled a face over her shoulder at Hermione. Their looks were accusing. "You were out all night..." she frowned, glancing across the table to be sure they were not heard.  
  
Hermione suddenly felt patronized. She glared at their blameful looks. "Since when do I need to ask permission for what I do from you?" she snapped. Draco leaned across Ginny and stared at her hard.  
  
"Did you sleep with him?" he hissed. Ginny pushed him away from Hermione sending him a disapproving look but not apologising to her for his actions. She wanted to know as well.  
  
Hermione gaped at them. "Are you serious?!" she spat back. Ginny and Draco shared a look. "No! Not like that! I did sleep with him-" Draco paled drastically and Ginny's jaw dropped "-but I slept in his arms by the fire." They both relaxed immensely. Ginny even appeared happy.  
  
"Oh... that's ok then..." she smiled at Hermione. "That's sweet..." Draco stuck out his tongue.  
  
"I think it's disgusting!" he said brusquely, snaking an arm around Ginny as he did. Hermione just grinned back at him, squashing his bitterness with her ungrounded contentment.  
  
"That's ok," she said cheerfully as she spread marmalade on her toast. "I don't care what you think!" Draco glared at her as she started to eat her breakfast but she ignored him. For some reason, Ginny liked this snarky, pompous Slytherin and so she was going to do her best to get on with him. That did not necessarily mean she would be friends with him.  
  
But she was shocked when, after a while, Draco joined in Harry and Ron's discussion on which possible Quidditch team would win the world cup next year.  
  
Ginny was just as surprised but even more relieved. It seemed that Draco was staring to fit in... How odd.  
  
Nothing much else happened for a while. About ten minutes behind her, Severus swept past them up to the staff table. She breathed in deeply to catch the scent of musk and sandalwood but apart from that, breakfast was uneventful.  
  
Hermione finished her toast quickly but as usual she stayed back to talk with Ginny and waste as much time as possible.  
  
"When exactly is your Graduation again? I heard they moved it..." Ginny asked, turning to her before finishing off her pumpkin juice.  
  
Hermione frowned, resting her head in her hands. "Hmm... It's right after the Hogsmead weekend which is two weeks from exams... so that would be about half a week from now..." She had mixed feelings about graduation. She would be finished with school and being a minor and student but at the same time she was leaving her home of seven years... She couldn't bear the thought.  
  
"Oh! That's so soon..." Ginny sounded miserable. Hermione glanced at her. "I don't know what I'll do next year without Draco and you three... It's going to be hard... I'll miss you so much, Hermione..." Ginny unconsciously held Draco tighter.  
  
"I'm not gone just yet!" she tried to lighten the sad mood. "Save the sorrow for the last day." She decided she may have room for a little more juice and helped herself to some.  
  
Suddenly there was a sharp noise of a fork being tapped against a goblet that rang through the chatter and a silence spread over the hall. Hermione and Ginny stopped talking and Draco, Harry and Ron looked up at the head table. McGonagall had tapped her fork against her goblet in the way she always did when there was going to be an announcement.  
  
While everyone else was watching Dumbledore, waiting for him to stand up and talk, Hermione stared at Severus who was looking as irritated with the world as usual. Their eyes met for a moment and just in that instant all general malice melted and faded from the deep blackness in his eyes. Hermione dared a smile at him, seeing as everyone else was distracted.  
  
"I am sad to inform you," Dumbledore began in his usual speech voice, "that there have been some slight alterations in the schedule for the next Hogsmead weekend..." there were mutters of disappointment flittering across various groups of friends but Hermione stayed silent, frowning, "Instead of it being this weekend, or a weekend at all for that matter, it will be moved to two days after graduation... I would like to make clear that I am sorry for those who desperately wanted to go before." Hermione was sure he shot her a blatant glance but she had sincerely hoped she had imagined it.  
  
But she remembered Severus' offer... he wanted to meet her at Hogsmead. Technically she would still be a student for a few more days but now... Graduation would come before Hogsmead making it so that if they were caught, Severus would not loose his position as Hogwarts Potions Master. Was this deliberate on Dumbledore's part? Hermione was unsure; he had done similar things before. It would not be unlike him. But on the other hand, was she being paranoid, thinking everything was about her somehow?  
  
She looked back at Severus to see his reaction and saw he was rigid and she knew he was thinking the same thing.  
  
Well, if it had been intentional it was definitely in their best interests...

* * *

"You cannot be serious!" gasped Hermione as Ron burst into a mischievous grin. His eyes lit up with mirth and there was a notable glint of something that reminded her of Fred and George. And speaking of Fred and George... "Not another Weasley Wizarding Wheezes!" Hermione looked shocked (although slightly tempted) by the notion.  
  
Harry smirked a little to himself too. He watched the end of the corridor they walked down with pleasant interest as he listened to Ron convince Hermione. His black tufts of hair sticking out in every which direction seemed to be getting messier with each year.  
  
The three of them, and Ginny and Draco (who were trailing a fair distance behind), were on their way out to enjoy the summer sunshine and despite the light and airy tone, were all savouring each and every second they had left in the castle. The sun shone bright through the window high up the walls causing bright shafts of light that highlighted squares of stone ahead of them. Their feet, though after the years they failed to notice it anymore, clacked loudly against the floor.  
  
"I'm more than serious!" he said brightly, moving a little away from her to suggest mock offence. "I'm sure Malfoy would have no problems with it either! I mean... it's not like the Slytherins are his friends... any more..." he frowned a little but the mirth did not fade.  
  
"But what kind of example will I be setting – being Head Girl?" she tried to argue. Ron just saw this as an opening. Hermione was not rebutting the idea but instead pointing out that it was inappropriate. So she did want to...  
  
"Who says they'll figure out who did it?" he grinned once more and Hermione couldn't help join him; the spark in his eye was contagious. Her smile was slightly guilty but broad all the same.  
  
"They can guess-" she started but Harry cut her off reassuringly.  
  
"But they won't have any proof..." he began to smirk as well and the three of them walked arm in arm around the corner and found themselves at the head of the large stairs of the Grand Entrance. Hermione struggled with her morals but part of her loved the ingenious inventions of Fred and George, despite all her attempts to drown these feelings. She tossed her hair back over her shoulder.  
  
Behind her she could hear Ginny and Draco muttering softly between themselves and for a moment is compelled to dream of being in the arms of Severus. She forced her thoughts away from the graceful and sinister presence known as Severus Snape.  
  
"It is a great idea..." she started reluctantly considering the effects of such a stunt. Ron grinned twice as hard, if possible and the edges of his enormous smirk almost touched his ears. He took his arm out of hers and clapped it on her back cheerily. Hermione stumbled a little under the strong slaps. Ron's strength has grown over the years and he appeared unaware of it.  
  
"That's the spirit, Hermione!" he beamed and Hermione brushed aside the curls that had fallen back into her large brown eyes.  
  
"But if I get in any sort of trouble, you two are coming down with me!" she added as a condition.  
  
"Fair enough," Harry shrugged. He also slipped his arm out of hers as they neared the base of the elegant and wide steps.  
  
"I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they wake up in the morning...!" Hermione notices that Ron hasn't looked so happy for a long time. But what they were about to do was something of his speciality. "We owe Fred and George so much..." he sighed in respect, however the smudgy smirk on his face revealed the better of him.  
  
"How much would they charge for a stunt like that?" he glanced to Ron, past Hermione for his answer. His green eyes filled with a slight curiosity.  
  
"Oh, they have to give us a discount, because... well... we're us!" Hermione snorted. "And I'm their brother... Plus the mere idea is going to make them proud. We'll be advertising their latest product to all of Hogwarts... so I would say that it would be a maximum of two galleons..." He scratched his head, messing up his bright red hair. His face scrunched up a little at having to calculate the simple math.  
  
"The day of graduation then? Or shall we do it after?" Harry seemed to be thinking a lot more practically than Ron because although it was his idea, Hermione observed that he has not even considered these things until now.  
  
Hermione spoke for him. "Graduation, although the most effective time, is probably not such a good idea because the place will be swarming with students and staff and we will probably get into worse trouble if we were to be caught. The day after we will no longer be students, which might mean they can no longer punish us."  
  
Harry nodded. Ron just thought about what she said, as if he needed time to weigh the differences in value of being punished but making the Slytherins suffer more on Graduation. "Smart thinking..." he agreed and they got off of the bottom step together. Graduation was now closer than ever. Today was Saturday and Graduation was on Monday...  
  
They strolled towards the wide open doors and the glowing sun outside that cast its rays gloriously over the grounds. There was a distinct smell of summer in the air. Hermione wished she had worn a skirt rather than jeans. She slipped her arms back into Ron's and Harry's to keep the atmosphere that she loved so much and would miss so dearly when they left for good.  
  
She looked down at the three pairs of feet that keep in timing with each others and she felt relieved that she would be staying with Harry and Ron after she left Hogwarts. Maybe luck would have it that they would all get into the same university. She was torn between many and was going to send off to hundreds that she wanted to attend. Harry and Ron had no idea as to which schools were the best and so they planned to apply to all the ones she had.  
  
Suddenly she felt both boys tense beside her. She raised her head, looking up from their feet, trying to find the source of the boys' sudden apprehension. She glanced at Harry and Ron. Both were radiating a stiffness that she recognised as being reserved for only one person.  
  
Her eyes slowly moved up to confirm her suspect. Her gaze was met by a rough, black glare and once again she felt as if she was the only one there. She blinked hard to try and plant her feet firmly back on earth and looked to Harry to see his reaction.  
  
Harry was staring back darkly at Snape as he shot a look of distrust their way. Severus did not stop to insult them; instead he just strode past with no more than a glint of contempt in his eyes at the sight of Harry and Ron flanking Hermione. She knew that he was keeping up appearances and for once she wished he wouldn't. She wished he would sweep over to her, black cloak flowing out behind him, and pull her away from Harry and Ron and into a soft kiss.  
  
But alas, he passed them silently and Ron watched his back carefully until he was sure Snape was not going to turn back. Hermione sighed silently.  
  
"Has either of you noticed," Harry leaned closer to them both, lowering his voice, "how Snape has been avoiding us lately..." Hermione and Ron frown together. Hermione tried to save this topic from becoming a serious curiosity.  
  
"Avoiding us? He just hasn't bothered to come right up to us and insult us. I think he just can't wait to see us leave," she convinced him. He shot a disbelieving look to Ron who shrugged back.  
  
"It just strikes me as out of the ordinary..." he made a final stand but Hermione's logical explanation crushed any final worries he may have.  
  
"Of course, but school has finished, we haven't had classes so of course we are going to see less of him. It's not like he's avoiding us. And besides," she added, her tone had switched to her special tone reserved for explaining things in class and to people who could not understand their homework, "why would he want to see more of a person he hates?"  
  
Harry nodded, feeling stupid and Ron shrugged once more.  
  
His freckles were suddenly pushed up his cheeks as he broke into a sunny grin. "But isn't my plan just ingenious!" he said brightly. He had steered away this boring topic and back to his area of expertise.  
  
"Yes, Ron. Ingenious," agreed Harry. "Although there are only so many times we can continue to praise you for your thinking..." Hermione laughed softly, her shoulders shook with amusement.  
  
"We're going to have to enlighten Malfoy on this," he ignores Harry's comment at his expense. "He's the one with the password to the Slytherin common room; we'll need his help..." he frowned once more in thought and slowed, dropping behind Hermione and Harry.  
  
Hermione was the first to react and slow down too, then Harry dawdled too. He rolled his eyes at Ron, who still seemed unrealistically boyish in his actions. He was scampering over to his sister and her boyfriend who were contented to stay behind until rudely interrupted by him.  
  
"Yes?" said Draco coldly but politely. His silver eyes fixed on the unsure characteristics of Ron but all hinting in his stare was lost on Ron's lack of ability to pick up on subtly.  
  
"Don't get so prickly!" he grinned back, quashing Draco's icy glare. "You may like what I've got to say..." his blonde eyebrows twitched up in interest, just as Harry and Hermione approached them.

* * *

Pacing was a habit of the past yet Severus was unable to shake it off. He continued to strut up and down in front of the over-warm fireplace. He knew that it was too hot but he was unprepared to change it just yet, until it became totally unbearable.  
  
The thick material of his robes weighed him down and suffocated him. They were retaining his own heat and he finally, after trying to distract himself from the growing warmth, he stopped his pacing. He put his fingers up to his chest and pulled off his outer robes in one fluid movement. He folded them twice loosely and laid them on the chair that Hermione had not transfigured.  
  
Then his fingers rested on the stiff buttons of his frock coat but he hesitated and left it on.  
  
The dark mark was still burning black under his skin fresh from the Dark Lord's unexpected meeting last night.  
  
"Severus?" a soft female voice that caressed the chords of his heart. He dropped his hands quickly and turned to face the source of his name. He came eye to eye with Hermione who was smiling gently at him.  
  
"Hermione..." her name still sounded peculiar on his tongue. She came to him. He looked her up and down. Was it possible she had grown more beautiful in the day they had been apart? She looked wonderful in her white summer skirt and light blue camisole. Her hair spilled over her shoulders, half way down to her waist in large golden brown curls. Her eyes were shining and it was hard for him to believe that she was so pleased to see him again.  
  
Once she was right in front of him he put his hand on her waist and kissed her shortly on the lips. He pulled back and glanced at her questioningly. His pitch black eyes searched for any signs of worry but he found none.  
  
"Is there something the matter?" She saw the concern lighting his stare. The comfort that filled her at his protectiveness made her smile.  
  
"Not at all." As he watched her, he couldn't help adore the sweetness of her smile. He took a hand from her waist and gently brushed the tips of his fingers against her jaw. "I missed you..." her voice quietened mainly because she was so snug the way she was right now that she daren't disturb the moment.  
  
She slipped her hands up around his neck and lightly slid her fingers into his long black hair. She knew that she could never feel this way again with any other person. The warmth of his breath against her cheeks made her close her eyes and she sighed quietly.  
  
He leaned forward to kiss her again. She complied more than willingly. His straight raven hair brushed the curve of her cheeks and made her heart flutter against her chest.  
  
But before he got to taste her once more she laid a finger delicately on his lips to hold him at the close distance for a moment. He stopped, but kissed the tip of her finger softly, while looking into her light chocolate brown eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" he wondered, frowning a little. Hermione smiled again and any doubt he may have had was sufficiently put to rest.  
  
"I just want..." she paused, she was looking apologetic and maybe even a pinch guilty, "...to savour this..." she hurriedly continues as if she has to explain "because soon I'll have to leave Hogwarts and I won't be able to see you again for a long time..." she sighs deeply and she is unaware of the sadness she reveals in her features as she looks away from his face.  
  
His scowl deepened. "I see... What exactly are you planning on doing once you depart?" He was never really bothered what a student did once they were out of his care but... it still sounded too strange yet he knew he loved her... he could not for a moment remember feeling otherwise.  
  
He stroked the skin of her neck and smirked slightly when she shivered and leaned into the touch.  
  
She opened her eyes again and tried to stay as serious as possible, staring straight at him. "I'm planning on becoming a Charms Mistress..." his smirk broadened with a faint pride.  
  
"A wise choice," he nodded approvingly. "However, you're skills in potions are no less than perfect. I would have thought you would choose something in that field..." Hermione smiled at his subtle teasing. There was a tingle under her skin where his fingers traced the line of her neck. She couldn't concentrate but somehow managed to.  
  
"I'll be gone for two years at college..." she tried not to think about it, but she knew she had to tell him. It was important and a decision of life. "But I can spend the three years of practical under the instructions of Professor Flitwick." His black eyes glazed with puzzlement and the scowl spread across his face easily.  
  
"But Flitwick is not a Master of Charms..."  
  
"I know, but he has more than thirty years experience. That's good enough by their standards... then I will be able to enter a proper establishment that will take me to the level of Mistress... that alone should take four years. After that, I am unsure but if Flitwick should ever retire, I plan on applying for his position... So that's about nine years altogether..." Hermione suddenly looked daunted. That was more time than she had spent studying at Hogwarts... She hadn't thought of it so far. Yet learning was what she loved to do and the thought of never having to learn again was scary in itself so she was happy to prolong it with her aim of becoming a Charms Mistress.  
  
"So... I won't be able to constantly see you for two years..." she noted the sadness in his voice and felt glad once again that he returned her feelings. "But you will be back at Hogwarts for a full three years..." there was a certain hope in his silky smooth voice.  
  
"I don't want to be gone for so long..." she titled her head a little when his finger brushed a sensitive spot on her neck. She took a deep breath then continued. "But that won't keep me away from you... I'll make time." He appreciated the determination she had.  
  
She looked back up at him and his face was mere centimeters away from hers. She dug her fingers deeper into his black hair as if it would comfort her.  
  
"It still feels so... strange..." Severus lowered his hand slowly from her jaw and put it back on her waist. Hermione nodded slowly, missing the feel of his fingers already.  
  
"I know..." she smiled soothingly at him and he did not understand the feeling that accompanied it. Her tenderness made him soften inside and he could not comprehend how a simple smile could affect him so.  
  
She leaned closer and pressed her lips against his and once again he felt struck by feelings he had long forgotten existed. But the fact that what they had, however right it felt, was forbidden made it seem more exciting and yet he felt as if he shouldn't. The touch of a woman's lips against his made his heart speed up and he felt undeserving. After all, what had he done to deserve this?  
  
He pulled her closer, delighting in the feeling of holding her.

* * *

"Weasley!" Draco gaped at Ron in a slight disbelief, "How surprisingly Slytherin of you!" his silver eyes sparked with a tint of evil glee. He smirked as he listened to his new adaptations of his original plan for the day after Graduation. His blonde hair fell loosely around his eyes and he shot a glance at Ginny sitting next to him. She was talking to Hermione in a low voice leaning over her dinner so did not catch his eye.  
  
"Ok, so you admit I am a genius?" he dared to ask. Ron was reluctantly starting to enjoy Draco's company. He pushed his freckles aside with his normal lopsided grin. Draco glared sarcastically as he considered what Ron said.  
  
"Watch it, Weasley..." he said softly with a strong warning. "Although I have to admit... it is not bad..." Ron grinned harder and Draco narrowed his eyes to make sure Ron kept in mind exactly where he should stand, which is a good thing because he almost slapped Draco on the back in a friendly gesture.  
  
Harry just ate his pie quietly, keeping his eyes on both Draco and Ron with amusement. He was starting to come to terms with the fact that he and Ginny were together. He was also happy to find that his feelings for Ginny were fading slowly. They could not have been as strong as he had thought they were if they left so soon. So, in a weird way, he was grateful to find out this way instead of dating Ginny and finding that their relationship should fizzle out after a while.  
  
Hermione and Ginny were muttering softly between themselves about her situation with Severus. Ginny was in awe about the star-struck look that came over Hermione when she spoke of him.  
  
"So you're going to become a Charms Mistress!" Ginny chirped. "That is just perfectly adorable! The Charms Mistress and The Potions Master of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry... together!" Ginny beamed perkily as she untied her hair to let it hang loose over the shoulders of her short- sleeved green shirt that did not clash with her straight dark red hair in the slightest.  
  
Hermione mock shuddered. "That sounds so corny!" She shuddered again and Ginny laughed. "Don't do that." She brushed some brown curls over her shoulder to stop it from dropping into the plate of pie. Ginny, being particularly bold, stared up at the staff table and watched Severus as he glared sourly at the hall filled with students.  
  
Hermione looked in her direction and her eyes landed on Severus. His brows were pulled into his trademark scowl and he eyed the hall in front of him with distaste. His elbows lay on the table and his fingers were neatly entwined, his black robes shrouding him as his shoulder-length black hair as if he wished to hide himself from the pointless cheerfulness.  
  
Ginny quirked a brow and turned back to her, perplexed. "I still don't get what you see in him..." she added, totally befuddled in her tone. Hermione tore her eyes away from the dark stare of Severus.  
  
"You don't have to," she said it softly as if she was half not listening to her own words, just dreaming. "If you saw what I did then I would find myself with unwanted competition-" Hermione was cut off by a loud snort from the seemingly delicate nose of Ginny.  
  
"Believe me," she assured Hermione as she dug into her apple pie with her fork, "that is one thing you do NOT have to worry about..." Hermione smirked sleepily and turned back to look at the head table.

* * *

Tomorrow was Graduation. It seemed as if it had snuck up on Hermione when she was not ready for it. Not only was it Graduation, the day that turned them into adults officially, but it was the start of their last week at Hogwarts. Hermione did not want to leave, despite the fact she had always eagerly anticipated becoming an adult and being able to prove herself to the world.  
  
As she crawled into bed she could have sworn she heard the rustle of long black robes but when she looked up she found herself deeply disappointed to see that it was merely the dark red curtains being ruffled by the night air. No matter. She would finally finish with being a student tomorrow and could be more at her ease and lax about hiding their... "thing" they had.  
  
She closed her eyes and immediately images of Severus Snape sweeping amongst rows of simmering cauldrons dangerously smooth and deathly quiet in his steps. The sternness in his slitted black gaze that straightened backs and stiffened frightened students. The texture of his fine black hair. The touch of his fingertips against the skin of her neck.  
  
She had to stop thinking this way she decided, as she buried her smile in her pillow. What would Pavarti and Lavender think if she went to bed every night smiling? But then again she didn't care what they thought.

* * *

"Oh-my-gosh, oh-my-gosh, oh-my-gosh, oh-my-gosh," Hermione was muttering beneath her breath rapidly in nervous excitement as she squeezed Ginny's hand. They were walking slowly down from the Gryffindor tower: she, Harry, Ron, Draco and Ginny. They were dressed in their special robes that had been provided just for the occasion and their special board hats with silver tassels, except Ginny who was forced to stay at Hogwarts for one more year.  
  
Ron was looking pale with tenseness and his freckles on his nose stood out strongly in comparison. His lips were dry and parted slightly. His blue eyes refused to blink and his neatly brushed orange-red hair was parted down the middle properly for the first time Hermione could remember. Harry on the other hand looked purely blank.  
  
At Hermione's constant muttering he looked over at her with no emotion in his emerald eyes. He nodded his black haired head in comforting understanding. "I know," he mumbled.  
  
Draco was speechless like Ron but he outwardly appeared cool and collected, despite his lips being pressed hard together. His blonde hair was slicked backwards away from his face. He looked refined and Harry tried to ignore the resemblance with his father. His silver eyes remained fixed forward.  
  
They were walking in two rows. Harry and Ron were walking ahead, looking equally unnerved as they went down the main steps. At the back Ginny was in the middle. Draco had an arm around her waist and Hermione was squeezing her hand tightly.  
  
"Ouch!" Ginny pried her hand free of Hermione's as her grip tightened even further.  
  
"Oh..." Hermione blushed guiltily, "Sorry, Gin..." Ginny rubbed it a little to make the stinging leave but looked back at Hermione with sympathy.  
  
"It's OK..." she smiled, "I know how nervous you must be... You're graduating today!" she said brightly. There was a flake of remorse that escaped her lips that she failed to smother. She did not want to reveal to Hermione exactly how sad she was that she was going to be saying goodbye, seeing as this was supposed to be a happy day.  
  
"Oh, Ginny..." she picked up on the miserable note and reached for her hand again. She was careful not to squeeze her too hard, "You'll join us next year, don't worry. Don't be sad..." Ginny nodded slowly, careful not to look Hermione in the eye, keeping her blue gaze on the passing marble steps in front of her.  
  
Hermione had to stop walking for a second to untwist the base of her temporary robes provided for the day. She struggled for a moment with the thick stiff black material then trotted to catch up with the happy couple ahead of her. She flipped her hair back over her shoulders before plonking her hat squarely on her curly haired head.  
  
When she was in line with Ginny and Draco again, she brushed the irritating silver tassel to the side of the hat instead of where it had been dangling before, tickling her nose.  
  
Ginny felt out of place, being dressed in normal clothes: a plaid skirt and dark red tank top with an orange print that resembled smoke. She had her hair loose as did Hermione. Her scarlet strands stopped just below the base of her neck. Hermione had felt the need for something special today and had several small white flowers held into her locks by spells.  
  
Parents were not going to be attending Graduation. They never did. For one it would reveal to more people than necessary as to the whereabouts of Hogwarts and for another, it was would be a hassle to cart hoards of parents all the way up to Hogwarts. This was just a simple acknowledgement of the fact they were now technically adults.  
  
They started to head past the Great Hall and to the oversized doors of the Grand Entrance. The ceremony was to be held outside. Hermione held her breath and wanted to close her eyes as they walked through the doors. This was it. They were going to be free of school rules and regulations forever. Scary.  
  
Ginny was now squeezing her hand in reply. There was a slight feeling of numbness spreading slowly through her but it was dulled by her overwhelming nerviness.  
  
They stepped into the haze of light from the darkness of the hall and walked down the few front steps in silent unison. The sun was high in the sky to show that it was indeed late morning and the whole landscape was a bright vibrant green with the health that accompanied summer. The sun shone down harshly on them and the black of their graduation robes absorbed the heat and magnified it. As they reached the ground Hermione swore she was slowly baking already.  
  
The large square hat shadowed her face keeping her cool and prevented the white flowers randomly spread about in her hair from wilting.  
  
In front of her Ron jammed his own hat roughly on his head, messing his relatively neat hair. Harry kept his off for now, as did Draco. Hermione kept her eyes on the path they walked, letting the others lead her to the stage. She didn't feel she should look at it just yet, it might make it seem... real...  
  
After a short while of strolling tensely Hermione dared to raise her head and look at the stage. Her large brown eyes rested on a high raised wooden platform with steps in the center. She thought it was maybe a little large for a ceremony with a moderate amount of people. There were rows of chairs before the platform, enough for the whole seventh year and some extra for those other students, like Ginny, who wanted to watch. There were ropes of ribbon lining the edges of the stage in the four colors of the separate houses and against the back, single wall were large embroideries of each houses' emblem.  
  
In front of the steps of the stage, teachers were milling around tensely and they were talking in low voices to one another. The air was alight with mutterings of soon-to-be-graduates who had arrived before they had and were standing in loose clusters beside the chairs.  
  
Harry and Ron stopped just before the back row and waited for Hermione, Ginny and Draco. Harry fiddled anxiously with the edges of his hat and Hermione slipped her hand out of Ginny's as they approached them.  
  
There was a moment's hush in which the five of them where they looked at each other's faces trying to read exactly how nervous the other was. Ron was the first to try and break the silence; it was starting to frustrate him. He sucked in a deep breath.  
  
"So," he was speaking a little louder and more cheerfully than was necessary, "how long do you think it's gonna take?" Hermione took her eyes off of Harry and looked to Ron, fidgeting nervously.  
  
"I think it's going to be much shorter than most..." she spoke what she thought as she tried to calculate how long it would take, "maybe as short as about twenty minutes... It's just the handing out of the degrees, and a few awards as well. I don't think there'll be any extras like a valedictorian..."  
  
"Good," Draco nodded briskly, "I can't stand those tediously long ceremonies anyway." Ginny nodded in agreement and there were mutterings of opinions between them.  
  
After a while the conversation fizzled out and they returned to their silence, shuffling and glancing at each other. Hermione checked her watch; the event should be starting any minute now... And just as she thought it, Dumbledore proceeded to climb up the steps of the large wooden stage. Hermione turned to watch and sparked the interest of the others, who chose to look in Hermione's direction.  
  
Dumbledore strode across the platform with his periwinkle blue robes dragging at his feet. A deafening hush fell over the crowd as if silence was an ice cold liquid being spilled over their heads. A sea of eyes were now watching every move Dumbledore made across the stage and each step he took could be heard even from the back. The sound of the birds and swaying leaves seemed to stand still.  
  
There was a podium to one side of the stage and it appeared to take forever for Dumbledore to reach it. He stood behind it and curled his fingers on the edges of the wooden stand.  
  
"Please be seated," he said politely, gesturing with his right hand for them all to sit. His voice didn't need to be magnified for such a small ceremony. There was a light twinkle in his eyes that resembled pride.  
  
Harry was the first to react, moving over to a chair near to the front. They followed, shuffling through the light green grass and walking in the aisle created down the middle of the grey chairs directly up to the stage.  
  
They sat down together on the same row and turned back to look at Dumbledore who was waiting patiently for the rest of the seventh years to sit. Hermione's eye wandered down to the teachers who were lined up in front of the red, yellow, green and blue ribbons decorating the stage.  
  
"As you all know," began Dumbledore in his usual knowing speech voice, "this graduation will only be a small recognition of your seven years learning here at this school... although I am sure that after exams your brains may not be able to be put to use for a while..." he smiled at them but all that could be seen was his beard twitching. "When I call your names you will come up and accept your degrees and then shake hands with each teacher in turn."  
  
As if on cue (which it probably was), the professors turned and filed up the steps of the stage one after the other, McGonagall first. Dumbledore paused his speech to wait for all the teachers to line up behind him. McGonagall stopped in the wake of him and all the other teachers lined up beside her. All the sitting students watched good-naturedly as they waited for the teachers to finish getting into position.  
  
Hermione noticed that Severus was the last one on the stage and he strode over to the very end of the line. Once he had swirled about on the spot to face the crowd with a look of loathing, Dumbledore continued.  
  
"Before we begin I would like to say one thing... You all have been wonderful students and each of you has great potential-" it was all Severus could do to hold back a snort, "Work to the best of your abilities and contribute to the wizarding population as much as you can with your knowledge. I hope I will have the pleasure of seeing you all again someday." Did Dumbledore sigh? Hermione shook her head to herself. No, he was always strong and stead-fast. It wasn't like him to show signs of weakness like that.  
  
Now Dumbledore stuck a withered hand into the large pocket at his side and he gently pulled out a scroll and his wand. He placed the scroll carefully on the podium before waving the wand. Under the sweeping motions he made with his wand, a small table appeared with a large pile of more scrolls, each with a calligraphic silver name imprinted on it.  
  
He put his wand away and picked up the scroll on the podium again. He opened it grandly with one hand, with the other hand he straightened his half-moon spectacles to read better. The summer air was still and quiet and people waited as Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak again.  
  
"Starting with the Hufflepuffs..."  
  
...  
  
Dumbledore called out the names of each Hufflepuff student. As he said their names, from the pile of scrolls beside him, one that belonged to the name called out would unbury itself from the rest and slowly rise into the air, hovering about a shoulder's height.  
  
Dumbledore would take it out of the air and hand it to the graduate when they came up the stage. The first Hufflepuff on the platform hugged each teacher after shaking their hands. And for one moment it looked as if he was going to hug Professor Snape but when he was given a look that could kill from his former Potions teacher, he shrank away and just shook his hand before leaving the stage.  
  
After that, no one dared to even consider hugging the glaring Potions Master. But no one really had planned to anyway.  
  
Next it was the Ravenclaws and half way through Ginny mock yawned and started patting Hermione's tassel in a bored and playful manner. Hermione just let her do so, but threw her a disapproving look from beneath the square board.  
  
Time went by slower than they had imagined but the nervousness only faded a little. Draco decided to place his hat carefully on his head at last and Harry wisely followed suit.  
  
It seemed that the Gryffindors were going to be last because after the Ravenclaws Dumbledore started calling out the names of different Slytherins. When it was Draco's turn, Ginny gave him a quick kiss on the cheek but on his way up he received a record number of poisonous glowers from the other Slytherins.  
  
Hermione was starting to get impatient by the time he finally got to the Gryffindors. She kept glancing at Severus and forgot her discreetness. In a few minutes she would no longer be a student... The second the degree touched the flesh of her hand she would be free to love whoever she pleased. She noticed Severus was hating this event and held back a smile. She could understand his thinking. He wanted to be down in the cool dungeons in the company of his books and potions, to him more intelligent than the whole graduating class.  
  
She stared at him without really being aware that she was. She loved his black hair that framed his face perfectly and added a strong touch of character to his being. His choice in clothes reflected his behaviour more than his actual personality because beneath the shrouds of black cloth was hidden a multitude of colors. She was fascinated by the tall dark and sinister appearance he held throughout the years. In truth he probably needed her more than he would ever realise. For years he felt he could live without love and slowly the point of existence seemed to dissolve but Hermione wanted to change that. She already had.  
  
She was yanked out of her reverie when Lavender's name was called. Soon it would be her; however, she kept her eye on Severus. She wished she could kiss him again and smiled smugly as she remembered the night she had spent in his arms by the fire. The way he touched her set off sparks under her skin. What was it about him that made him so... perfect for her? Maybe it was like the yin and yang.  
  
"Hermione Granger." Dumbledore's voice rang through her thoughts and startled her. She jerked upright and in a daze she strode up to the steps of the stage. Slowly the reality sank in as she finished climbing the stairs and she shoved her dream-world to the back of her mind.  
  
It seemed to take her way too long to walk across the wooden platform up to Dumbledore who grandly plucked her degree from the air and held it out for her to take.  
  
She took it from him and the touch of scroll against her palm was frightening in what it represented. She was finished with school. He smiled at her with his benevolent old eyes. She smiled back. She reached over and gave him a quick hug before turning to McGonagall standing behind him. Now she had to work her way along the line of professors, shaking their hands and hugging them each in turn.  
  
McGonagall hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breathe and of all the teachers she was the must reluctant to let go. Obviously she had been more attached to Hermione than she let on.  
  
Severus watched as it was Hermione's turn to receive her degree. Now she was technically an adult but he knew she had been an adult for while already. She wore flowers in her hair and he thought they looked better on her than they possible could on anyone else. He wondered if she would dare to hug him like she did all the other professors. If she did how should he react? Should he glare her down for appearances sake? But if she wanted to then he didn't to singe her like that. He shook the irritating thoughts from his head. What will happen, will happen.  
  
Beside him, Hermione was bending down to hug a beaming Professor Flitwick. The tassel dangling from her square hat swung over her eyes as she stood. She brushed it aside and moved over to Severus.  
  
She stood in front of him for a quiet moment and just looked at him, studying his eyes. Not wanting to seem peculiar to the watching crowd behind her, she held out hand for him to shake, never taking her gaze off of his face.  
  
He took her hand smoothly and Hermione relished the feeling of his soft, delicate touch. She really wanted to kiss him. Then, in a blinding instant, she realized she could. She had her degree in her other hand so she was free to kiss whichever teacher she wanted without getting them fired.  
  
As she shook hand with Severus in front of the eyes of the seventh year, she glanced at Dumbledore standing by the podium. He was smiling warmly at her. The whole class was staring at her back. How would they react when they found out? There was always the possibility that they would not find out but the odds were not in their favour. If she were the one to enlighten them, would it be better? Yes it would, she concluded, because questions such as "why didn't you tell us?" were put to rest.  
  
She looked back into the black irises and the delicate touch of his hand made her want to fling her arms around him in one rash movement. She had to control these sort of desires. They just made her want more than what she had, and she had a lot. There was a word for that: greedy.  
  
She thought of the crowd behind her, and of Dumbledore's encouraging smile... he had said be careful until graduation... they didn't need to be careful any more...  
  
When Hermione raised her hands, most people thought she was going to be so bold as to hug him. Severus even thought that. But instead, she pulled his face close to hers, before she could think about it and kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
There was a horrified silence and even the birds stopped singing to watch. Severus stiffened in surprise and sharply jerked away from her. What the hell did that girl think she was doing? Hermione did not want to turn around just yet to face the crowd of bewildered and disgusted graduates. She just kept her face close to his and he searched her eyes for an answer.  
  
He had no idea what she was thinking. There was a whole crowd of people behind her and the whole teaching staff beside him.  
  
"I think I'm hallucinating..." mumbled Ron, pale as a sheet of parchment although a lot greener, "Because I just thought I saw Hermione kiss Snape..." He turned to Harry who was also gaping and his face was also devoid of blood. "Did you see it too?"  
  
"Yes..." Harry rasped, not once blinking. The shocked stillness blanketed the air and for a while nothing moved, nobody spoke and all eyes stayed glued to Hermione.

* * *

Ok ... more in the next chapter... thanks for sticking around so long.

My uncle is so nice!! This is his internet that he's paying for - very expensive so I dont have long. Thank u for hanging around (if you are hanging around). The writing's going slow - I'm about 1/3 done with 15 - but now I know this story should be done by about 25. Definitely no more than hirty.  
  
ince I am doing this to improve my skills, please please please(!!!) tell me that you see come improvement from the first and latest chapter (this chapter). If not then I'm going to have to try harder (which means writing slower... hint hint! – no actually, be honest please.)  
  
Note: dark mark burned on his arm at the beginning of the chapter (Oops... I'm being such a spoil-sport. I'll stop now.)  
  
Snakecharmer.


	12. The Aftermath

Chapter 12: the Aftermath (Sorry peeps, it's a boring chapter this 'un – but necessary... 'yawns and forces herself to push each key')

* * *

Last chapter:

Hermione's graduation finally comes around and on the spur of the moment she doesn't think and kisses Severus on the stage, in front of everyone. She decides it's better if she's the one to reveal what they have or else things could be a lot worse.

Oh... and there's a prank that's been planned on the Slytherins, thanks to the Weasley twins... PS: Sorry no evil yet... be patient! I don't even think I'm half way through with this story! Soon it'll be my biggest!

* * *

Hermione ignored the tenseness in the atmosphere so thick she could barely breathe. She had just kissed Severus in front of everyone. She stood there, drawing out the silence as she tried to read his reactions. It seemed that he, like everyone else, was too much in shock to be sure whether he was angry or not.

Everyone was horrified, including Draco and Ginny. She had a hand to her mouth and her eyes were wide with surprise. Draco was numb, eyes flickering from Hermione to Severus to Hermione again.

"What the fuck does she think she's doing!?" Draco said slowly. Ginny hated profanity and would usually tell him off for using such language but she just let it slide.

"She's lost her nut!" her voice was a soft whisper through the net created by her fingers. She tentatively dropped her hands from her mouth and turned to look at Harry and Ron's reactions. They both couldn't have looked paler and more petrified for their own mental health. Ron's jaw was hanging practically around his knees. Harry was fidgeting in his chair as he replayed what he had just seen in his mind.

Even Dumbledore looked floored. The silence hung above their heads on fine invisible threads like deadly drapes that threatened their lives should the threads break. And through the midst of confused stares and disbelieving gapes, Hermione stood still with her face close to his and waited for his reaction. The pause behind her meant nothing to her, nothing at all any more. All she worried about was what he would do next.

There was the overwhelming possibility he would keep up pretences and act confused and disgusted. But as she watched his eyes like everybody else she was sure he understood her actions. She wanted everyone to know. She wasn't afraid of what other people thought.

Slowly the corners of his mouth curved up into a small smile. Her nerves calmed down in a rush of comfort and bewilderment of the crowd grew drastically.

Harry was pinching the bridge of his nose and pinching his green eyes shut repeatedly as if it would help him clear his vision. Ron was rubbing his temples roughly, muttering rapidly under his breath. He stopped muttering for a moment of horror when Snape smiled and leaned over to Harry without taking his eyes off of the sight before him.

"Did Snape just..._ smile_?!" there was nothing but pure shock that accompanied his words. He let his hands fall from his temples and gaped, like everyone else at the implausible spectacle.

Hermione straightened her back with a wide grin and spun on her heel, leaving the stage. She strode down the steps and over the grass to where Harry, Ron, Ginny and Draco were watching her, bug-eyed. She sat down sharply and turned to continue observing the ceremony.

Dumbledore recovered in record time because no sooner had she sat down on the grey chair, he called out the next name. He didn't look horrified, merely perplexed and even amused by what had happened. "Pavarti Patil," he said a little too loudly, but it was enough to snap everyone out of their dazes.

Pavarti stood, from somewhere nearby and shakily proceeded to walk over to the platform, throwing blank glances at Hermione.

As she was climbing the wooden steps of the stage, Harry and the others turned to face her, completely ignoring the rest of the graduation. Hermione was on a high and was not stung by their stares. Ron was the only one who dared to speak.

"What was _that_?!" he whispered as Dumbledore shook a dumbfounded Pavarti's hand. If possible the stares grew more bewildered and accusing as they waited for her answer. Hermione's smile never faltered and she grinned at each of them in turn before laying a finger on her lips.

"Ssh!" she said brightly, "Save it for after graduation..." She removed her finger from her mouth and turned back to the stage. The others looked blanker still and shared fleeting looks before following Hermione's lead. Graduation was not over yet. Harry and Ron were still to come and they wanted to have a more private setting for interrogation.

Pavarti was shaking hands quickly with each teacher, not bothering to hug them. When she finally reached Severus, she turned and left before even looking him in the eye as if she was afraid he would kiss her too, even though it had been Hermione and not him. Hermione snorted with amusement at how ridiculous Pavarti was being.

"Harry Potter," continued Dumbledore, allowing Pavarti to escape without having to shake Severus' hand. He stood wanly and managed to hold his composure as he went over to Dumbledore, accepted the scroll with his name in silver on the side and shook hands with each teacher.

When it came to Severus, who remained a little taller than Harry still, he shook his hand slowly, all the while giving him a funny look. Severus thought it prudent to not glare at him and just nod shortly. The bewildered Harry left and went back to his seat.

Everything that happened afterwards was like everybody had been put into an automatic gear. They went through all the actions and even the whole row of professors were watching Hermione and Severus intently.

...

Ron went up, collected his degree and came back and Dumbledore gave out several awards and finally the ceremony finished.

Dumbledore said a few words on how proud he was of all of them and that now they were free people. His last comment was enough for Ron to confirm that in fact they could not get into trouble anymore when they played their prank tomorrow.

The professors were the first to disperse, randomly getting off of the stage, completely opposite of how neatly they had filed up the stairs earlier. McGonagall was wide-eyed and muttering very quickly with professor Flitwick who was also talking quietly back as they walked over to the chairs and stopped to continue their conversation.

Some people, only a few, got up and headed back to the castle, deciding to spend the rest of their free time indoors. The majority, however, stayed outside to enjoy the sunshine and talk. And the topic of conversation was Hermione.

Most stood up and walked over to join crowds deep in discussion or just to join friends they hadn't sat next to. Hermione knew that now she would have to face the questions. But, before she did...

Hermione stood abruptly and Harry, Ron, Ginny and Draco were certain she was trying to escape their interrogation but they were wrong.

Severus strode down the steps unsure of whether to frown or smile so he settled for crossing his arms over his chest and looking totally blank, which was the best description for how he felt. Yet what he was feeling was too many things at once and he was bombarded with thoughts and emotions. Hermione wanted to show everyone what they had. He was not worried for himself in the slightest; he could take public scrutiny. But Hermione on the other hand... he wondered if she could handle it. He would not have done such a rash thing but if she wanted everyone to know then he had no problem with it.

He stopped by the front row of chairs and his black eyes roved the full circle around him. How could he escape without being noticed, especially since he was attracting so much attention? He unfolded his arms and decided that it would make no difference whether he were to slip away or to barge down the center aisle, shoving graduates out of his way and sending their square hats flying.

He was opting for the latter but after taking a couple of steps towards the center aisle he was intercepted. He felt a hand on his upper arm gripping him lightly. He almost didn't stop, and he resisted the urge to shake the hand roughly off as old habit advised.

He stood still and inwardly sighed, not turning to face whoever stopped him just yet. It was probably Minerva. She had seemed the most liable suspect seeing as she had been the most horrified of the whole staff, if only by a little. It could be Dumbledore, wanting a private word with him. Or even worse, it could be a bold student... well... graduate.

Finally he forced his gaze up from the ever-so interesting grass in front of him into the eyes of the person beside him. His eyes locked onto those of the one person he had not even considered, which he now realized was stupid on his part. How could he not consider the one who would need to speak with him the most?

Hermione was watching him tentatively and the whole crowd of gossipers froze and stared. The silence once again hung in the air like a stifling fog. But she was smiling nervously at him and he thought he had never seen anything more sweet and beautiful in its own right. The flowers in her hair added a fairy touch to her looks as if she had just stepped out of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Her brown eyes were lit with a soft caring and a slight tenseness he wanted to erase.

Her hand lay gently on his arm and, despite the heat of the midday, he could feel the warmth through the folds of cloth. Although time went tantalisingly slowly for onlookers, it halted completely for the both of them. Hermione was lost in the blackness of his dark eyes until she could not take it anymore.

Giving in to temptation, and confirming many fears of others, Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, taking her time and seeing no need to rush. More jaws dropped as she leaned her face closer to his and he even thought it acceptable to place his hands on her waist. There was a drawn out moment where they just held each others gaze, their faces inches apart.

In a short moment, he realized people might think it was a one way emotion from Hermione and that he was too stunned to move or some nonsense like that. He understood her feelings in that moment when he decided he wanted everyone to know that Hermione was his.

He pulled her closer and into a long tender kiss. He could feel her heart race because she was pressed so close and yet she relaxed immensely against him as though he was the only one who could make her feel better. He was.

Her hat toppled off her head and all the appalled eyes melted away into one large blur. It was too right to be wrong. The sensations that accompanied a simple touch were not normal... rather special.

Ron was paler than he had ever been before, even when he had found out about Ginny. Harry found it incredibly difficult to pull his eyes away from the impossible sight that lay before him to watch Ron. Ron was looking really ill, as if he was going to be violently sick. He could not understand what was happening. Hermione was kissing... Snape...

Nobody could tear their eyes away from the scene but as they watched there was still a strong belief that this must be some sort of dare or hoax. Harry was the only one not staring, instead his gaze rested on Ron. He lifted his shaky green hand to his mouth and his body made a rolling shake motion as if he had coughed silently and his eyes bulged a little.

Harry knew he was not pretending as Ron swallowed roughly several times. But he turned back to the problem at hand. Why was Hermione (he shuddered fiercely like many others had earlier)... kissing Snape? That was one of the things he had been certain he would NEVER have had to question in his entire life.

He wanted to rush over to them and pull them apart but horror rooted him to the soil beneath his feet.

Finally, after much too long for the befuddled mass, Severus pulled away and lifted his gaze to the swollen eyes of the crowd. He rose an eyebrow as if to say "So what?" and held Hermione closer in a protective way as if to shield her from their deadly looks.

Hermione rested against him just for the moment to gather her strength before turning around. She sighed deeply. He could feel her shift a little so he loosened his grip. She let her hands fall from his neck and sighed again. It seemed to take too short a while for her to turn around and fall prey to the hungry wolves she had once felt so comfortable around.

She bent down to pick up her fallen hat from the floor, deliberately ignoring them, and brushed the cut grass from it slowly.

"Hermione..." Harry rasped. Ron would have spoken first if he had been able to open his mouth. "What... Why did you just do that...?" he voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. Anger was all he could feel when he had discovered who Ginny was with but the emotion that pervaded him now was untainted blissful disbelief.

Hermione looked him straight in the eye seriously but she spoke to everybody.

"I know this is going to come as a shock-" several choking and snorting noises as people scoffed, "-but... I love Severus Snape. He's who I meant to be with-" she didn't need to say any more because Lavender fainted and people were too busy gaping, their eyes almost dropping out of their skulls, to give her any assistance. So Lavender just lay, crumpled at Pavarti's feet.

Ron now could not contain it any more. He bent down and ducked his head so no one could see as he vomited under a chair. No one helped him either. The image of what he had just seen was one which he had never could have been prepared for and her words just put it over the edge for him.

There was a mutual feeling of wanting to cry out from most onlookers but no one could make a sound. Not a single mouth was closed.

Ginny finally got the feeling back to her limbs and took several shaky steps before stumbling past the chairs over to Hermione. She was the only one who was not repulsed by the display but the shock of her actions had gotten into her system like everyone else's but it had also left sooner.

Hermione waited for Ginny to approach. She seemed to be the only one who could move. Hermione had not expected this. She had imagined yelling and being rejected by her friends; **that** she was prepared for. But this was a pleasant surprise to be met just by a googly-eyed silence.

When Ginny eventually stopped in front of her she shot a cautious look up to Severus. She had never imagined such a sight although Hermione had spoken of it, yet she saw the tenderness in his eyes and it made her wonder.

She grabbed Hermione's wrist roughly and yanked her face close to hers.

"Are you insane?" she hissed under her breath. She looked at her as though she was a stupid little girl although it was with the motherly concern of Mrs Weasley in her crystal blue eyes. Hermione beamed back, flashing her full set of teeth.

"Yes," she smirked giving Ginny a false sly look. Ginny frowned.

"You can still fix this by saying I dared you-" she started but her voice died in her throat as Severus gave her one of his most threatening glares. Hermione turned to look at him.

"That," he growled softly, "will not be necessary." Ginny gulped. All traces of the caring and unseen professor Snape had evaporated leaving in its stead the cold shadow of his classroom self. But a moment later he glanced down at Hermione and the malevolence dissipated once more from the depths of his raven eyes.

Ginny felt is wise to not speak again and gazed over her shoulder back at the others. Ron was now standing again and looking much better although his skin held a strong misty colored hue. Harry's lips were moving as though he was muttering but there was no sound. He could not blink. All others were watching Hermione's every move as if they weren't sure they were awake.

She looked round defiantly and pulled Severus' arm around her shoulder which he allowed her to do. She didn't put the hat back on her head because she was afraid of knocking him so she held it in her free hand, the other hand holding his that rested on her shoulder.

"Get over it," she said snappishly, starting to tire of the tense hush. She started to move, taking tiny footsteps forward and pulling lightly on his Severus' arm. He glared over the top of her flower speckled curls at anyone who dared to look him straight in the eye and let Hermione lead him away. "Let's go," she said quietly.

He walked beside her, keeping his fast stride down to a moderate pace for her sake. His robes dragged on the grass due to how long they were.

As they walked away Hermione felt the relief wash over her as the suffocating stares faded into the background. She knew there was going to be a long silence before they started gossiping amongst themselves but she was sure Ginny would do a sufficient job of trying to keep them calm. For now she would bask in the relaxing yet intense company of Severus.

Their own silence, so different from the one they had just left, was comfortable and soothing to the nerves. Hermione sighed deeply, breathing the fresh scent of summer leaves and flowers. Between her fingers was the stiff rim of the hat she no longer needed. They were now barely in the sight of the people by the stage so they were free to talk in private.

"Was that wise?" he finally spoke and his voice was soft yet demanded an answer. The arm of his robes cloaked her shoulders and she felt slightly over-warm. Hermione knew he was not doubting her actions, merely putting forth his worries.

"I don't know," she replied truthfully. "But I know that I couldn't have come up with a better way to shock them if I had planned it... That was the last thing they were expecting..." A small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. He nodded, his black hair swaying.

"Indeed." There was a small trace of something Hermione had seen from him before in the classroom when he had taken pleasure in a Gryffindor's misfortune. She ignored it without thinking about it. "Yet I can't help feel uneasy about the whole school knowing... it can't bring any good..."

"It'll give us the freedom of not having to hide away, although I don't think they'll appreciate public displays of affection," she smiled too, her eyes lighting up with mirth, imagining the looks she had just seen on their faces. "Now people know, they can get over it like they did about Draco and Ginny."

"But this is not like Mr Malfoy and Miss Weasley. I am far older than you and the wizarding society will be mortified by the fact that I was your professor," he gave her a funny glance as though he only just remembered that she had been his irritating student once. It was hard to believe. She had the knowledge and wisdom of someone with as many years of life lived as he did.

"So you think it will be worse?" she bit her bottom lip nervously. He nodded again.

"More different than worse since this is a completely different situation." They were now walking past the lake and their path curved to keep to the edge of the shore. Their feet scuffed the gravel in timing with each other and for a moment there was a pause in conversation. They appreciated each other's presence, seeing no need to constantly talk in order to understand each other. Hermione was sure not many relationships held such security as theirs.

"It was worth it," Hermione said finally. She raised her head to look him in the eye and smiled at him. He did not smile in reply but instead reached down and kissed her.

"Yes it was," he said, lifting his face a little away from hers before straightening and turning to look forwards. Hermione was left feeling sufficiently pacified and pleasantly soothed. That was what she loved about him: he knew exactly how to treat her, keeping her excited and relaxed at the same time. And yet it was never enough.

Hermione leaned her head against him as they walked. Her lips still tingled from the sensation of his soft kiss. She felt much better now.

* * *

He accompanied her back to the castle. She got progressively anxious as they got closer.

They both stopped at the bottom of the wide marble staircase where they were to separate if Hermione went to the Gryffindor tower, which she had to. She had to face them.

He turned to look her directly in the eyes so they were standing opposite each other. The severe ebony stare dug deep into her soul and weakened her. In a gesture of tenderness he reached and took each of her hands in his own, gently.

"You'll be alright?" he asked and lightly squeezed her hands. Hermione closed her eyes and nodded. Her hair fell over her shoulders and she became aware that some of her spells had worn off because several small white flowers floated to the ground. Concern lined his features.

She gripped his hands back when he was about to let go. She looked up at him with big doe brown eyes.

"Can't you come with me?" she pleaded. He raised a corner of his mouth in a half smirk. He wished he could be there for her.

"How would it look if the head of Slytherin house broke into the Gryffindor common room, especially under these circumstances?" She saw he was apologetic but steadfast in his answer. "You'll be fine," he said encouragingly and sternly before letting go of her hands. They didn't have to worry anymore about someone seeing them.

She looked down at the floor resignedly. Yes. She should confront them alone. It'd be worse if he accompanied her. Much worse.

Without a word of farewell, he turned to leave. He swept away and around the corner of the bottom step down the dungeons corridor with his robes flowing out behind him. His tail of his black cloak whipped around the corner and he was gone. Hermione was left standing watching the space he had once taken. Her heart felt strangely empty and devoid of the comfort that filled her when she was in his presence. Now that he had gone she wanted to see him again already even though it had only been a few seconds.

She placed a heavy hand on the base of the banister and took a couple of slow hesitant steps up the stairs before stopping and glancing hopefully over her shoulder. He hadn't come back.

She sighed and proceeded to drag herself up the never-ending staircase. With each step it seemed it was getting harder and harder to push herself to move her feet. Her eyes seemed to be unable to adjust the dimness of the indoors. But there was one part of her that didn't feel drained or melancholy because, although now she had deliberately put herself under the scrutiny of the entire school, she was free of any secrets that filled her lungs like dust. Every time she had to speak to Harry and Ron it seemed more painful to look them straight in the eye and lie to them.

She squashed her hat on her head again. Several more white flowers fell to the floor behind her graduation robes that rippled over the marble steps. She would savour her time in the common room until they returned. Maybe she would read but her brain felt too full of thoughts at the moment to even consider it.

She would just sit and wait.

* * *

After about half an hour of the kind of tenseness that induces nail-biting, Hermione was starting to relax. She was alone in the common room sitting at the desk by the window where she had once sat watching the squid when she had screamed and thrown her book at the wall. She could see the stage from here, although it was very small, and the black dots of multiple hats as people milled around the chairs.

She watched through the glass of the large arched window to her right and rested her chin in her palm. She had lost interest in the tapestry hanging over the desk ages ago. The foxed pages of an enormous open book lay in front of her but she had lost interest in that too, surprisingly. Normally she would find comfort in the words of a book but now all she wanted was Severus and the words swam under her gaze as if they weren't going to allow her to read them. She wondered if this was how it was for Harry and Ron all the time. If so then she pitied them. She hated this feeling.

The tassel dangled in front of her eyes again but she could not find the resolve to move it to the side. So there it hung, swinging slightly and constantly brushing the tip of her nose. She ignored it and continued to stare out of the window at the greenery of late June. Things were definitely peaceful at the moment.

The Order was still working but since the last battle during February the other side had suffered a damaging defeat and many of the Death Eaters had been killed. Dumbledore now suspected he was working on finding the best supporters to fill their positions and that they would not have to worry for a while.

But so much had happened in that time that the thought of Voldemort had almost completely left their minds (at least temporarily).

She began to calm down and leaned back into her chair, slumping against it. She even started to get a little bored and tapped her fingers impatiently consecutively on the desk. When was the yelling and questioning going to start? Why had no one come in search of her seeing as she was their muse for conversation?

When she realized how ridiculous she was being she stopped tapping her fingers. She wondered if she should stay watching the black dots of the people by the platform when she could be reading.

She bent her head and tried to get her brain to focus on the shapes in front of her eyes and to make them stop floating around.

'...In 1423 Alfred Silverstein...' she closed her eyes briefly trying to push thoughts of Severus out of her head. She sighed and opened her eyes again to continue, '...Alfred Silverstein discovered the first five properties of wartroot of the four thousand known today...' It was no use; she could not concentrate no matter how hard she tried.

She wished Ginny would come back and inform her of the situation and exactly how bad it was. She didn't know what was going on. Had the stunned atmosphere worn off?

Not wanting to have another fit like the one two months ago, she gently closed the book with more care than was necessary and pushed it to one side.

* * *

"Do you think we should talk to her?" mumbled Ron numbly as they trudged hypnotically slowly around the chairs. Both he and Harry had not blinked since they had seen... the thing. Harry shook his head roughly and his black hair flicked his skin sharply.

"No," he said firmly. "If I see her I'll see it happen all over again... you can't forget something like that..." his voice trailed and he shuddered, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Ron nodded a little. He didn't look Harry in the eyes as they walked, preferring to keep his blue-eyed gaze on the ground that passed beneath their feet.

"First Malfoy and now Snape!" Ron said in disbelief, "I think something happened that made the Gryffindor girls go mad!" They were circling the chairs for the seventh time. The sun beat down on their heads. Both of their hats lay discarded on the chairs they had occupied earlier. Draco had wandered off with the promise of returning and his hat lay with theirs on the chairs.

"Yeah," said Harry half-heartedly. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of the borrowed robes. "Tell me about it," he sighed. "But would you ever have suspected something like THIS to happen?" he glanced at Ron who didn't return the look.

"Nope, can't say I would have," Ron shrugged. His tone was light and breezy as if the topic was nothing more than the weather but Harry appreciated it because it helped him deal with it better.

"Did you have to puke your guts out like that, though?" Harry raised an eyebrow at him and Ron glared back, not particularly amused by Harry's comment. He ran his fingers crossly through his bright red hair.

"Excuse me," he snapped with unadulterated sarcasm, "If it was an inconvenience to you!" He continued, dropping the sarcasm, "I couldn't control it. I mean... bloody hell... we've known Hermione since our first year. We should know her better than any other person, apart from each other," he added, nodding his head to Harry for emphasis. "If all those seven years wasn't enough for us to know her then what kind of friends are we...?"

Harry raised his hands as if to give in to the realisation of what had happened. "You can't blame us for that. It's not like anyone else expected it," he turned and glanced over his shoulder to make sure that everyone was still shocked and deep in discussion. "It's... Snape!" He shuddered again as a wave of disgust rolled over his flesh causing the goose-bumps to rise.

"But why him?!" Ron's voice lost it's consistency as he once again sounded disturbed and confused. "He's the head of Slytherin and he even made her cry several times. For all we know he could have a forked tongue!" Harry shared his look of repulsion and for a moment they shuffled through the grass with identical expressions on their faces.

Then they glanced at each other and both hid their smiles that they so often shared because they did not much feel like smiling with the image of their best friend kissing their most hated teacher burned into their minds.

"Hermione's the one who can answer that question for you..." he added. They both looked away from the other at the exact same moment as best friends tend to once they know each other as well as themselves. Harry looked down his nose as a passing daisy that dared to poke its head through the soil and Ron stared at the lake beyond the chairs.

Something was eating away at Ron more than anything else and he couldn't keep it in any longer.

"She said she loved him..." Harry's eyes snapped up from the daisy and into Ron's in a flash. Ron looked back. He really needed to talk about this, however much it made them uncomfortable. "Love is a pretty strong word to use. Do you think she meant it?" His blue eyes did not back down against Harry's subtle hinting that this subject should be left alone.

Harry continued to stare back at him for a few moments to try and make him take back those words. But when Ron showed no signs of letting go Harry answered honestly. "Hermione's never been one to mistake infatuation for love, unlike most other girls in our school. She's always had the sensible head on her shoulders. She even once said love was a creation of the imagination... remember?"

Ron nodded. At least Harry was being frank although it was definitely not what he wanted to hear. "Don't you think it's possible that infatuation could blind her like it does other girls and only because it's so unfamiliar that Hermione's mistaken it for love?"

"I doubt it. How well does Hermione hide things from us?" Harry already knew the answer but he wanted to see if Ron did.

"Very well, when she wants to..."

"Exactly," Harry nodded, his black hair falling about into a worse mess than it already had been. "But the fact that she showed us... maybe it was because she didn't want to hide it from us anymore..."

"How very noble of her," Ron said sardonically. "But if she kept it a secret from us it would have been worse. I would hate to find out that she's been with Snape for years behind our backs and get invited to their wedding-"

"No!" Harry shook violently in repulsed shock. "That is NOT going to happen. This is probably just a phase... She's finally found someone who can match her intelligence and that's enough for her to fall in love... I trust she'll see sense one day..." He sighed and stopped walking. He laid a gentle hand on the back of one of the chairs.

"I hope you're right..." Ron was looking less pale now they had talked about it and with his heart alight with hope that this wasn't a permanent arrangement he could sleep tonight.

There was a shared moment where they just stood, amongst the crowds of identical graduates in their robes. In the summer sunshine, the light covering of clouds floating lazily along, they were the only ones who stayed stone silent, looking away from each other.

* * *

Hermione snapped upright as the portrait swung open. She twisted her torso to look over at whoever could possibly have slipped away from the throng she had been absent-mindedly watching. Her hair swung out of the way and fell down her back, bouncing because of how hard she had spun round.

Her brown eyes roved the room and rested on the dark red and perfectly straight hair of Ginny Weasley. She had her back turned to Hermione but then she turned around. Hermione smiled wanly at her. Ginny didn't return the smile but she wasn't sombre.

Her rounded features held the same friendliness they always did even when she frowned upon approaching Hermione.

"I don't get it!" she said with conversational disbelief as she took a seat next to Hermione. She tucked in her chair and threw her hands up in the air as she continued. "I kiss Draco, the whole school goes nuts and hates my guts... then you come along and rescue me and the whole school hangs on your every word. Then you kiss Snape... everyone's shocked and sickened, but they're not angry in the slightest! There are even a few who are attempting to accept it... and doing a poor job of it. But how come!?" she whined. Hermione knew she was exaggerating.

Hermione grinned. It seemed things weren't going to be half as bad as she thought. "So they're not loosing their heads down there?" She replaced her head in her palm. Ginny shook her head, her eyes innocently wide.

"No! They're under the impression you're more mature and make wiser decisions – although none of them can understand this one in particular. Of course they're horrified. That's expected. They'll probably stay that way for a while... I don't believe it! Snape is far worse than Draco! Maybe they're just too stunned, that's got to be it." Ginny appeared to be talking to herself and she jerkily fiddled with her hair.

Hermione surveyed Ginny cryptically.

"What?" Ginny asked. Then her eyes widened and she snapped her fingers as if she had just come up with an idea. "I know what it is!" she said brightly with a slight knowing, "They've been mentally scarred and don't know how to deal with it!" She nodded mockingly at Hermione as if her answer was the wisest thing known to mankind.

"Haha, Ginny. I'm in no mood," she sighed and her frame expanded and relaxed. "But that may even be so..." She snorted with amusement although it was something Severus might find more entertaining. She wondered what he was doing right now in his quarters. Probably reading, like Hermione had attempted to. Although he could preparing lessons for next year... but she didn't think it would be what he terribly wished to do at the present time.

She wanted to see him right this second, even though Ginny wasn't bad company, because she wanted the feeling of security and dangerousness that welled up deep inside her at the mere sight of him. These feelings were not safe, she decided, it was as if she could not control her own actions. At the same time, she didn't want to.

She returned her thoughts to the bigger problem at hand. She glanced at Ginny out of the corner of her eye, sitting next to her.

"Was it planned?" Ginny broke her train of thought. She was genuinely curious. Hermione shook her curls, the last of the flowers that had tangled themselves into her hair dropped onto the floor around the legs of the wooden hard-backed chair she sat on. They rested delicately on the red carpet around her feet.

"Absolutely not! Did you see the look of shock on his face when I kissed him? He was just as surprised as everybody else!" she smirked softly and Ginny smirked back. "It was definitely a snap decision and I think I did the best thing... But it's too early yet to tell." Ginny nodded and was mentally admitting Hermione astuteness.

"You're going to be fine, from the looks of it," remarked Ginny looking Hermione up and down. Hermione didn't know how to reply so she didn't.

* * *

"This isn't going to interfere with..." Ron looked about him cautiously. They were on their way back up to the castle and he checked the path ahead and behind to make sure there were no stray Slytherins around, apart from Draco. He crunched the gravel path beneath his feet. "...the thing...?" Harry gave him the one eyebrow.

"Is that all you can think about? Even when Hermione kisses..." he hesitated before forcing the word past his tongue, "...Snape? Honestly, Ron!"

"But we'll still do it?" Ron asked excitedly. His step caught a brief spring to it as he walked. Harry rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. He wanted to hit Ron with his hat but resisted the urge because he might actually hurt him. Draco trailed along behind them, not wanting to interfere with the conversation of two long time friends.

"I don't see how this can interfere with your precious prank," he felt relieved as he spoke with the teasing that normal friends with normal worries do. He knew he was repressing the disgust with an ease that was too good to be true. Maybe it was denial. If this was denial then he liked it very much. Too much...

Ron beamed from ear to ear with his toothy grin. His eyes filled with more mirth than Harry thought possible under such circumstances. Ron was doing the same as he was. It wasn't denial. They both knew it had happened. It was pushing it away to the back of their minds in a vain and pathetic attempt to pretend things weren't any different. They wanted their old seemingly endless lifestyle back. But now they would be leaving Hogwarts and things were not going the way they had imagined.

But for now they would talk normally and act normally and hope things would turn out normal. But what was normal? Would the new normal be accepting their best friend had fallen in love with their potions teacher who had despised them all through their school years and that Ginny Weasley was with Draco Malfoy?

"Let's go see Hermione," sighed Harry. He decided that skirting it was not healthy. Ron's grin dropped off is his face quicker than you could say "Snape". The glee disappeared from his eyes and it was replaced with reluctant seriousness. He nodded solemnly.

* * *

Ron began to mumble as they approached the common room. "...Snape... bloody Snape..." and Draco ignored him good-naturedly, resisting the desire to slap him out of his daze.

Harry understood Ron's feelings precisely but he did his best to maintain as much of his normal behaviour as possible instead of resorting to muttering under his breath and wildly searching the room he was in with his eyes.

Hermione was sitting with Ginny and they were both silent as if they had run out of conversation. Under the large multicoloured and faded tapestry at the desk by the only window of the common room, they both sat on wooden chairs, looking into the air. Hermione's head was planted on her palm and Ginny had her hands folded in her lap with her head slightly titled.

Harry, Draco and Ron approached, careful not to startle the two girls daydreaming in front of them.

"Hermione?" Hermione's eyes refocused and she looked about her for the source of her name. She twisted roughly in her chair her serious gaze landed on Harry, Ron and Draco standing nervously behind her and Ginny. Draco noticed her eyes did not hold the look of youth they once had. Her eyes, instead, were filled with a dangerous and knowing flickering light that Draco was sure he had seen somewhere else before... but definitely not in anyone from Gryffindor.

"Yes?" she did not smile. Her features revealed no anxiety yet inside she was melting from it.

"Come sit with us, we need to talk..." Draco spoke for the others with a lot more civility. Hermione closed her eyes and nodded.

"Indeed," she sighed. She shoved her chair back in one rash motion and it swayed perilously. Ginny watched silently as Hermione stood, her hands resting on the desk, and faced the boys properly.

Ginny stood too and they all occupied the armchairs around a table.

...

"...So do you think this is possibly a phase that you may get over?" said Harry hopefully with wide eyes from the horrific story he had just heard. Hermione retold in every detail the events that had unfolded since April of how she had slowly discovered a peculiar attraction to Severus and her four stage plan, the party and when she had returned the book. That was terrifying for Harry and Ron enough because it had been two and a half months in which they had been blissfully ignorant of Hermione's life.

"I suppose there is a slight possibility..." she replied reluctantly but truthfully. "But I have to say that I honestly doubt it. I've never felt this way before. It's alien, exciting and intoxicating. I don't know if you understand..." Harry shrugged to show he didn't but Draco and Ginny nodded together.

Draco reached for Ginny's hand and gripped it tenderly. Hermione smiled at them and Ron could not resist wrinkling his nose at them.

"Did you know about this?" Ron suddenly asked. He had stayed silent now for the whole time Hermione had spoken and Harry had questioned. The pale look had returned to his cheeks. He was looking at Draco and Ginny intently and Harry frowned.

"What would make you think that?" he asked before Draco or Ginny had a chance to open their mouths. Ginny's eyes suddenly were wide and very rapidly looking from Ron to Harry and occasionally Hermione. Draco on the other hand remained calm with his impeccable Slytherin ability to lie smoothly.

"Because they haven't asked anything about what's been going on. It doesn't seem new to them..." Ron didn't once glance at Harry, keeping his gaze on his nervous sister and her boyfriend.

"Neither have you," Harry didn't know why he was arguing for them, yet he wanted to know how Ron was thinking. He raised a black brow at him but Ron still wasn't watching.

"Yes, but if you remember correctly, I threw up when I saw... it. Did you know?" he repeated, staring Draco deep in the eye. Draco stared back with equal defiance, his cold silver gaze not once faltering against Ron's searching.

Finally, after a drawn out moment, Draco looked to Hermione. She knew that he was unsure of what to say, as it was her problem and her decision to make whether or not to let Harry and Ron know.

"No," Hermione replied for him, firmly. She felt her mouth go dry as she lied once more to her friends. Draco nodded in agreement, his blonde hair hardly fell out of place. "But Ginny knew that I liked him..." she added, just in case Ron got suspicious of his sisters white lips that stood out so well against her freckles.

Harry changed the subject, feeling he had to say what he had to say sooner or later. He shifted in his armchair to see Hermione better. He looked into her eyes in a similar way to how Ron had just to Draco.

"I want you to know, Hermione," he started seriously, "You're a wonderful friend and we love you. I can't let something like this interfere with a friendship so old and so tight. But... I am not OK with this arrangement. I would prefer it if we talked about your relationship as little as possible..." Hermione nodded. It was a fair deal.

"Me too!" added Ron hurriedly. His wide blue eyes moved in succession from Hermione to Harry. Hermione nodded again, her coiled locks dropped down her shoulders over her chest.

"It's your choice who you choose to be with... just don't tell us about how wonderful he is," added Harry to emphasise his point.

"That's understandable," Hermione agreed. Thank goodness they were such good friends. Hermione was relieved. She had gotten off easy thanks to their overwhelming repulsion which resulted in them leaving her to her privacy. But she knew the rest of the school would not be so forgiving.

* * *

When some first years came back through the portrait they froze and stared at Hermione. She knew then that it had not taken long for word to spread of her personal life. She was the first one to move, raising an eyebrow then standing. She turned and decided her dorm was probably the best place to stay if she wanted to escape any more incidents like that one.

She chose to skip dinner that night. It was impossible to eat with the whole school watching you fixedly.

Harry brought her some drumsticks and sandwiches that the house elves had been kind enough to prepare and wrap for her when he had asked. He and Ron had learnt how to overcome the ancient ward on the girls' dorm with a simple levitation spell and they showed Draco the correct way to do it so that he didn't just levitate his feet, resulting in his head being dragged up the stairs as his feet floated up. Harry and Ron had both learned the hard way.

Now the three of them, plus Ginny were sitting on different beds of her dorm. The other girls who she shared the room with had been avoiding Hermione as if she was contagious.

They were talking animatedly about everything except Snape, as per Harry's request, and everything felt normal.

They discussed exactly how to carry out Ron's marvellous prank, which he had now managed to make seem a lot more wonderful than it in fact was. Ron even mentioned how it would possibly help distract everyone from "current events". That was as close as they got to discussing him.

Together they managed to make the time pass sufficiently quickly until the other graduated girls could stay away no longer. They peeked into the room and snuck in quietly.

Hermione asked them how many people were in the common room. Unsure of why she was asking, Lavender told her there were only four other people left. Hermione suggested to the others to wait with her down in the common room until it came time to sneak downstairs.

They agreed, much to the girls delight and Hermione, Draco, Ginny, Harry and Ron slid down the stairs that automatically turned into a slide when Draco set foot on it.

They spent the rest of the hours to go, chatting in front of the fire. Luckily the four people in the common room left as soon as they saw Hermione and they were left to their devices.

* * *

Draco was the only one awake... not counting Ron who had tried so hard to stay up that he was snoring with his eyes open. He kept nervously checking his watch. They were to go down at four in the morning. He couldn't keep still and constantly fidgeted in his chair. He was anxious because if the Slytherin house were to find out he had a hand in this prank then he would only live long enough to wish himself dead.

His silver eyes flicked around the room as he waited for the second hand to move gradually. Damn it moved slowly, he thought to himself. His eyelids hung low with fatigue but his control over his mind was too powerful for it to win. He watched Ginny who he held loosely in his arms on his lap. She was cuddled up against him gently like a kitten and her head lolled forward against his shoulder. He had his arms folded around her waist and his chin rested on the crown of her head.

The common room of Gryffindor was dark. The fire was now nothing more than a pile of smouldering embers, glowing dimly. He noticed how much cosier it was in comparison with the Slytherin room. Yet he missed the Slytherin common room more than he had managed to realise until now. It was so much classier. This one was too homely that it made him uncomfortable. It was suffocating.

Hermione was lying across an armchair next to him, her hair hanging in a column of corkscrews over the arm. On the other side off him Harry and Ron were asleep, practically upright in their chairs, except their heads had both tipped and so they were sleeping with the sides of their heads leaning against each other's, snoring. It was amusing in a stupid way.

Draco's mouth twisted into a smirk when Harry and Ron both snored at the same exact moment, equally loudly. Ron's open eyes were slightly freaky though. The pupils were diluted giving him the look of the Zombies that inhabited Australia.

He looked at his watch again. Three thirty. Should he wake them soon? He took a hand and stroked Ginny's back carefully as he thought to himself. What could Hermione possibly see in Snape...? And how was it possible that he felt the same way back? He had thought he had known Snape well but it turned out he hadn't. But he refused to attach himself to anyone so how could anyone possibly have known whether or not something like this would happen. How well did anyone know him, even Hermione? It had been two months... from what she had said, and that, in his opinion, was not enough to know someone well enough to love.

He looked down at Ginny curled in his hold and mentally took that back. He stopped stroking her back and let his hand lie at the base of her neck. It was so easy to fall in love when the right person came along, he concluded.

He looked back to Hermione whose head was hanging dangerously and her mouth was slightly open. Maybe she had found the right person for her. It wasn't his place to judge, seeing as he had known Snape most of his life. It was like some monstrous roadblock he couldn't overcome.

He sighed. It was time to wake them all, starting with the light body resting on his lap.

He gently shifted his hold on her and moved to be able to talk in her ear.

"It's time."

* * *

"I still get nervous every time I think how many school rules we've broken throughout the years," Hermione muttered, "but now we don't have them anymore and I still feel bad about it." Ron rolled his eyes exaggeratedly but Hermione could not see for the dark.

They were in the dungeons corridor, just approaching the Slytherin common room. The torches were put out at curfew and they thought it best to still not be noticed, even though curfew did not apply to them anymore. There were too many to fit under the invisibility cloak so they had left it behind.

They had had a bit of a surprise when they had passed the potions classroom and seen that the torches had been lit and heard noises of someone moving around the room. Everyone had immediately looked at Hermione who just watched the light coming from under the door. But no one spoke. There was a long moment before Hermione continued (with plans of possibly stopping by afterwards on her mind) and the others followed, relieved.

None of the Gryffindors knew exactly where the Slytherin common room was, although Harry and Ron had a vague idea from their second year yet they couldn't remember. So Draco led the way. Hermione had dropped back with Harry and Ron so they were walking in two rows through the thick fog of black.

"Did I have to be the one to hold the bag?" Hermione continued and Ron rolled his eyes again. Hermione lifted the relatively small sized sack that contained many more smaller sized bags tied with strings. Harry smirked and prised the bag from her grip.

"There, happy?" he asked sarcastically. Hermione folded her arms but didn't say anymore.

Suddenly Draco and Ginny halted and Ron, Harry and Hermione had to as well. They were standing outside what appeared to be nothing more than blank wall. She could not be certain, as it was so dark but Draco definitely was.

Hermione heard Draco sigh loudly before he leaned a little closer the wall.

"Sui generis," he said in a low voice. The stone slab began to rumble softly and groaned as it slid away to make room for them to enter.

* * *

Ok... VERY boring chapter... Sorry, yet it had to be done as you can see. Like I said, this story is just a practice. I actually plan on one day writing something with a good plot. Ill update as soon as possible to make up 4 it.

Sui generis means: alone of it's kind. Here's another. It's kinda Severus:

Odi profanum vulgus et arceo – meaning "I loathe the uneducated mass and keep them away from me". (!!!!) and here's one more for u: _Difficilis facilis, iucundus acerbus es idem: nec tecum possum vivere nec sine te – _meaning "Difficult and easy, delightful and severe, you are the same: I am neither able to live with you nor without you." Perfect don't u think?

This took a long time to write because my mind kept wandering (as I'm sure yours did too) and I was very busy... I'll try writing quicker the next chapter... should be less boring.

After the next chapter this will be my biggest story! Not only am I writing this to improve but I'm also writing this to work on my stamina to stick with a story to the very end. I made a promise and now I have to stick with it. And now I'm starting to think I'll finally attempt a book sometime after this. Do you think I'm nearly ready to write a book?

Luv Snakecharmer

THANK U FOR UR REVIEWS!!! Make me feel happy...

PS - I take back what I said about Johnny Depp and Severus!!!!! I think that just would not work.... but I still love em both separately! (don't get surprised but I have no thing for Alan Rickman – however everytime I hear his name unprepared eg: on Tv (it happened) I freeze because my mind makes the immediate connection between the two. Severus Snape may as well be acting in his other movies for the way I react.)


	13. The Prank

Chapter 13: Slytherin terror (courtesy of the terrible twins) or "Waaarrrgghhh!!"

* * *

So far:

Practically nothing in the last chapter except people discuss Hermione and Snape and now they are about to play their prank on the Slytherins to get them back for... well... everything and just 'cause they're feeling mean.

* * *

"I have a feeling," Ron started with a smirk but had to pause his sentence to let out a huge sleepy yawn. He lifted his hand to his mouth then continued. "- that there are going to be no Slytherins at their table at breakfast today."

It was about four forty in the morning and the hour saw them in the Slytherin common room. They all stood in a cluster in the center of the room. Hermione was looking around with wide eyes in wonder at the difference compared to the Gryffindor common room. It was square with sharp corners, unlike the round of the Gryffindor tower. It was dimly lit, not by a fire which was dead in its hearth, but by candles which had burned down to stubs on elegant stands all around the room. It was cold and all the walls were stone, yet strangely enough it was not unwelcoming.

"I do too," agreed Harry, nodding. His black hair looked almost invisible against the backdrop and his choice of black clothes, like everyone else, made it difficult to decipher where exactly his outline ended.

He lifted the white linen sack dangling from his hand up to his chest. Everyone waited as he opened it carefully and stuck a hand in.

He pulled out a small scarlet sachet about the size of a fist tied together with string. He looked at it for a second before handing it to Hermione. She held out a hand to take it. She squeezed it gently and it felt like it could have been filled with beans but Hermione knew better. This whole thing was courtesy of Fred and George. Their latest invention.

Harry handed out one to each of them then tucked the lighter sack (which contained two extra sachets – just in case) under his belt. He patted it twice to make sure it didn't slip and once he was certain it was secure he looked back at them. His emerald green eyes bore into the eyes of each of them in turn before he opened his mouth to speak again.

"You know what to do, girls take the girls' side and we'll take the boys'," he was taking charge with absolute ease and everyone nodded. Draco flicked his hair out of his eyes because he had nodded with such vigor. He seemed incredibly edgy but that was understandable. His silver gaze was scanning the room and taking in the sight hungrily because he had missed it so much. His "friends" on the other hand he did not miss in the slightest, in fact he was glad to be rid of them.

They split up. Hermione took Ginny's arm and they both left for the door in the far corner that Draco had told them led to the girls' dorm. The boys headed for the other corner, working their way past chairs and desks, careful not to stumble in the dark.

Hermione and Ginny stopped walking once they reached the door and Ginny put out a tentative hand to turn the handle. She furtively opened the door and peaked around it before slipping in. She waited until Hermione had come in too before shutting the door.

Only once she had shut the door did she turn around to see her surroundings. Ginny was irritated to find that they were in a long corridor with labeled doors on either side. She was slightly jealous seeing as after a hard day of jamming junk into her brain she had to drag herself up a winding staircase whereas the Slytherin girls simply had a corridor.

Hermione on the other hand didn't even consider this, as she carefully started to untie the string of her sachet. She and Ginny continued to walk down side by side until they reached the first door.

Hermione tucked the loose string away in the pocket of her jeans and looked up to read the sign written in silver imprinted deeply on the wood. It read: First Years. Hermione was the one this time who put out a hand to open the door. She very carefully pushed it open so as not to wake any sleeping first year Slytherins up.

She and Ginny stealthily stepped inside and left the door open to make it easier to escape if someone woke and just because it was convenient.

The dorm was exactly identical in every way to that of the Gryffindor dorms except the blankets and curtains were in dark green. There were a couple of girls snoring but the atmosphere was pretty much relaxed and quiet.

Hermione pointed to the row of beds on the left and looked at Ginny, meaning that she should take that side. Ginny nodded and silently made her way to the first bed on the left. Hermione would be taking the right hand side.

She cautiously approached the first bed, feeling bad at what she was doing but getting excited at the same time. There was a first year snuggled on her side with her blanket pulled up around her shoulders. For a moment Hermione almost felt sorry for the helpless and tiny first year with her long straight dark brown hair splayed out on her pillow and shoulders.

She dipped a hand into the sachet and pulled out a small pale pink pill from the hundreds stored in there. She loomed over the relaxed young girl and hesitated as she saw how small she was. Had she really been that minute when she had helped Harry to the Philosopher's Stone?

She bent over placed the open bag on the bed beside the sleeping mound so she could have a free hand. She carefully put a hand under the girl's jaw and softly pried open her mouth without waking her. She dropped the pill into the chasm and closed her jaw.

The girl continued to sleep and Hermione took the bag of pills and moved to the next bed.

* * *

Severus couldn't sleep that night, nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't as if he never slept or he was an insomniac, he just felt no desire to sleep this night in particular.

At first he had prowled the corridors in search of students out of bed. It was always relaxing and entertaining if he caught someone. There hadn't been any - nevertheless he felt it hadn't been a waste of time.

He had spent a good deal of time reading (or attempting to in any case) but after several chapters his mind had seemed to give up and the words began to come out of focus. No matter how much will power he mustered the words would not clear. Slowly his frustrated thoughts at why he was unable to concentrate turned to thoughts of Hermione and what had happened.

He thought for a while about what they would have to deal with but he found himself imagining her face and wishing to see her. There was still something in his brain like an itch or a small voice constantly condemning him, constantly reminding him that Hermione had been his student for seven years. But with time he listened less and less to that irritating voice. He loved her, everything about her and she loved him back. There was still some inner confusion about why this had happened and how it was possible but he supposed that was healthy.

After spending quite some time on this unproductive thinking, he decided to go to his classroom. There was always something there to do to distract him.

He had spent most of the early morning hours rearranging items and reorganizing. At one point he had been sure he heard footsteps pass his door but it couldn't have been students because rarely in his experience had he seen a student awake past the unsightly hour of three in the morning. He was sure that there was a possibility that they were students but he doubted it.

He returned to his work without another thought.

* * *

Goyle's groggy eyelids peeled apart and he blinked stupidly as he tried to focus his sleepy eyes. Things stayed blurry for a good half a minute where he just lay in bed blinking. He lifted his bulky hands and balled them into fists so he could rub the crud from his eyes.

Once he could see properly he struggled to push back the green sheets off of his oversized body. It had to be about late morning, ten thirty maybe. There was no need to wake up early when there were no classes. The whole school was usually awake by eleven with some exceptions who preferred to wake at eight or nine in the morning, but they were mainly teachers. This was their last week at Hogwarts. School ended on Saturday when they would pack their trunks and leave forever.

He stumbled out of bed and cautiously stood before flinging back the dark green drapes. There was a mixture of empty beds and curtained sleepers. But no one was awake in the room apart from him. The light streamed in through the small window high up, shattered by the shards of grass that blocked parts of it. That was inevitable seeing as the window was barely at ground level.

He twisted an arm and roughly rubbed an itch on his lower back as he trudged over to the bathroom, smacking his lips.

He yawned as he walked through the wide open door without bothering to put a hand to his mouth. He turned, taking his hand from his back and pushed the door shut. It slammed which proved he had not stopped to think of the other sleeping Slytherins, either that or he didn't care.

He locked it then turned around. First stop: the mirror. He shuffled forwards to the sink over which it hung. To his right there was the toilet and to his left was the shower. The whole setting was in pale grey which was the closest they could get to having a toilet made of pure silver.

He placed his hands on either edge of the sink and leaned on them as he looked at the mirror. The squashed and lost looking face of Goyle stared right back at him. His hair was a tangle of straight flat hair that had been distorted by sleep to stand up in all directions. He lifted a huge hand to run through it.

Once his hair had been sufficiently controlled he nodded his pudgy face briefly at the mirror. Nothing out of the ordinary.

...

Goyle stuffed his hands into the pockets of his saggy jeans as he sluggishly trundled down the boys' corridor. Crabbe must already have woken because his bed had been empty. He decided to go in search of him before he had breakfast, although breakfast was beckoning him more than finding his, since recently, only friend. Draco had betrayed all the Slytherins and the mere thought of him made his fingers curl into fists in his pockets.

His dull brown eyes took in all they could of his familiar surroundings. Nothing new.

He was almost at the door when he heard a scream so loud it stung his ears. He dimly froze and it took him a couple of seconds for it to sink in that there was possibly something wrong in the common room from which the scream had come. He blinked twice.

He finally got into motion and walked a little faster to get to the door ahead of him. He could start to hear noises of fast shocked talking.

He had opened the wooden door an inch when there were two more simultaneous shrieks at deafening pitches. He felt his eardrums cringe as if they were threatening to burst. His mud colored eyes started to water and he lifted his other hand to his ear as he winced.

He flung the door wide open and looked at the confusion laid out before him. The Slytherins had gone hysterical.

He glanced at the terrified faces and immediately felt as if someone had swung a huge tire-iron in his face. He thought for one second he would be knocked backwards... The ugliness. He had never in his life seen anything like that. A boiling that felt a lot like hot oil inside his guts made him panic.

People were running away from everyone else, backing into each other, turning around and pointing at each other before screaming and running away again. Goyle couldn't be sure that they in fact were people. Whatever they were, they sounded a lot like the Slytherins he had said good night to before sleeping last night.

He scanned the room and his eyes rested on a small girl next to him whom he slightly recognized. She was leaning against the wall. Her eyes flickered over each person and she was shivering violently. She whimpered as she glanced at him staring right at her. Her hair was misshapen and a frazzled mass of comically orange curls sticking out at different angles. Her eyes had been distorted to become exceptionally wide. The skin of her jaw was hanging like a bulldog's around her neck.

He stumbled backwards when he looked at her.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and spun clumsily around. His eyes were wide with horror. He tried to gasp when he saw who had tapped him lightly. It was another girl, it must have been, and probably in his year. But the whites of her eyes were bright yellow, the irises dark orange and her hair a spiky unkempt black mess. Her chin was incredibly large and her nose was so long that it almost touched it. Her skin was a sallow acid green.

"Goyle?"

"Waaarrrgghhh!!" he yelled and tripped backwards, right into the orange haired girl. He flayed out his arms and failed to prevent himself from crushing the poor girl. She squeaked, muffled by his weight, and fainted. When he pushed himself off of her, she slid down the wall onto the floor with her dish-eyes loosely closed.

He looked at her apologetically, not that it made much difference. She remained propped against the wall, her legs squashed beneath her and head tipped to the side, her skin hanging at an angle.

Goyle turned back to the terrifying mimic of a muggle image of a witch and almost stumbled backwards again, which would have resulted in him landing on top of the fainted girl. He caught himself with a hand on the wall just in time.

The creature asked with a feminine voice "Is that you, Goyle?" He blinked. How did the thing know his name and how did her voice sound so familiar? He squinted at her.

"Of course it's me. I'm the only one here recognizable!" he retorted, still squinting. His eyes widened with recognition. "Pansy?!" he gasped loudly. "Is that you?!!" He couldn't believe it. The thing nodded its crows nest piled atop its head solemnly.

"Yeah..." she said sadly, "You can't tell can you?" The grotesque orange eyes flickered over him.

"Absolutely not!" he replied. How could he possibly recognize her when she did that? "What did you do to yourself?!" They paused what could be called their conversation to observe as two terrified people who weren't looking as they ran away from their housemates slammed into each other in front of a black sofa with a sickening thud. They both flew backwards from each other and landed on their butts. They winced in pain and looked up to see who they had run into and both immediately shared repulsed looks of shock.

Pansy turned back to Goyle with abhorrence. "ME?! DO THIS TO MYSELF?! ARE YOU MAD?!" she shrieked. He flinched at the high note she could hit. He had also caught a glimpse of her dark yellow teeth. "And let me tell you something," she hissed, continuing practically apoplectic with anger, "You are far from recognizable! You look gross!" she snapped. Goyle frowned, baffled. How could that be? He had seen how he had looked earlier in the mirror.

He shook his head. But to everyone else Goyle did in fact look like, for lack of a better word, a gargoyle. His ears were pointed and large enough to match his face. His nose had been squashed back even further up his face so that it was nothing more than a few triangular wrinkles before his huge nostrils like it had been pinned back into a snout. His eyes were perfectly wide and sharp like cats eyes and his mouth was pulled into an ugly smirk, with his top row of sharp little teeth, that looked more like pincers, sticking out over his bottom lip. His eyebrows were shoved high up his forehead and shaped as jutting angles.

In fact, he had it quite easy compared to some of the others. Crabbe for instance looked like some twisted version of the hunchback of Notre Dame. He had multiple warts scattered over his face, misshapen uneven grey teeth, a nose that looked like it had been broken five hundred times, limp yellow-orange hair with a prominent bald patch at the back and his skin held a coffee mottled appearance.

* * *

They had put a window spell on the Slytherin mirror in the common room and on a fair sized hand mirror before they had left. It had been the second part of Ron's ingenious plan. So now they could watch everything which the mirror saw through the portable vanity mirror.

Fred and George saw fit to sneak in via the Honeydukes passageway to see the results of their latest invention which they had yet to name. They planned on gathering ideas for it from reactions. Harry had smuggled them under the invisibility cloak up to the Gryffindor tower which was once again empty due to everyone waking up and deciding to spend their time elsewhere.

So they had the whole room to themselves. Yet since the mirror was not particularly large all seven of them were crowded together.

Hermione had let Ron do the honors of the levitating spell which he was so proud of. He had held the mirror by the silver designed handle with a look of superiority despite the fact that this was first year magic. He majestically swung his wand back over his head.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" he narrowed his eyes to look as though he was concentrating really hard and Ginny giggled behind her hand softly at how ridiculous he looked with his exaggerated performance.

The mirror slid free of his grasp and floated up where it hovered in front of their faces, giving them a far better view. Ron had decided to let Hermione do the spell that revealed the Slytherin common room, however.

They waited patiently for the Slytherins to start arriving in the common room. It seemed they woke much later than the Gryffindors, if only by a half hour.

When finally someone stepped into view from the girls' side of the room George did a double-take. Fred slapped a hand to his forehead and pretended to stumble backwards in surprise. Ginny's jaw dropped. Harry and Ron winced and Draco cringed. Hermione's brown brows shot up in shock.

"Woh!" said Ron with bug eyes. "Now that's ugly!" he gasped as the girl wandered over to a couch with a book in one hand, blissfully ignorant of her appearance. They all nodded in agreement. She had five eyes and in place of a mouth was an oval hole lined with little dagger-like teeth. And her hair was... wriggling?

Fred and George were sharing unsure looks.

"Yeah..." agreed Fred slowly, "Much uglier than we imagined..." he glanced at George again to make sure that it was indeed uglier than he had imagined. George nodded feverently. He looked repulsed by his own invention, although he was grinning broadly. Ginny was doing everything to resist the urge to wrinkle her freckled nose.

Hermione's head snapped around so fast her hair swung into Harry's eyes. She eyed them dangerously.

"What?" she said slowly. Fred started looking uncomfortable and George suddenly found the window a fascinating piece of craftsmanship. "Do you mean to tell me that you didn't test these things first before we gave them to the whole Slytherin house!?" Her voice was rising and her fury growing. Fred fidgeted on the spot.

George looked back at her with honesty etched on his boyish features.

"Oh, no. Of course we tested them. Honestly Hermione," he smiled wanly at her, "What kind of people do you think we are?! We just doubled the dose... that's all..." Hermione gave them the Mrs. Weasley look and they shrunk away from it. He leaned closer to Fred to mutter between themselves. "I think I've got a description for it... any title ideas?"

Fred shook his orange hair. "Nope. Let's wait and see," he gestured to the floating silver mirror which they crowded round. George nodded. They all started watching again. Ginny gave up on her nose and let it crinkle with repugnance. Now she had to resist cringing too. Hermione's wide brown eyes flickered over the girl reading quietly in front of the Slytherin mirror. Eugh.

There was the sound of a door opening from the boys' side.

"Here we go!" said George with anticipation. They held their breath. But when the guy came he just walked behind the sofa without glancing down at the girl bent over her book. Her hair shrouded her ugliness anyway and she was too absorbed in her volume to look up and see who had come in. He just walked right past with nothing more than a glance at the short straight blonde hair of her scalp.

"What was that?!" Fred jabbed a finger at the mirror as if it had offended him. He folded his arms over his blue robes and his brows drew together as he fumed. George glared at the mirror and folded his arms too and soon they were identical in expression as well as appearance. They both pouted and Ron grinned at them.

Draco lifted an eyebrow as he glanced at them but said nothing. He could barely recognize the people he had eaten breakfast with countless times and it scared him. He wondered what the overall reaction would be. They continued to watch.

Another Slytherin girl came in just as the boy left in the direction of the bathroom. She had her head squashed down so her neck appeared nothing more than a disk or a ruff. She was oozing some lime green liquid from her ears and a long glob of it dangled from her nose.

Fred started furiously tapping his fingers on his folded arm. Nothing was happening. She didn't look at the first girl sitting on the couch and just sat down beside her with a wheeze from the cushion. George's eyes narrowed as he grew more and more impatient. The others, though, did not mind the wait.

There was a moment where nothing happened and the two girls sat stone cold and silent side by side looking equally repulsive. Even Ginny held her breath as she waited to see what would happen when they saw each other.

"Morning," said the five eyed girl with the book. She started to mark her page and close it so she could greet her friend. She lifted her head and the paper of each page had barely touched when her eyes landed on the monster sitting next to her.

The other girl twisted to look at her to reply to the greeting and her cold grey eyes froze on the features of the girl. Both of their jaws dropped for a split second before they both let loose their petrified screams.

The girl with the book flung it to one side as they both simultaneously flew back from each other and turned and scrambled backwards over the sofa. They both struggled to clamber over the couch quicker than humanly possible and in a second they had both disappeared from view as they hid from the other.

Ron snorted and Fred and George cracked up. They both leaned on each other as they laughed.

George nodded with satisfaction. "Now that's more like it," he said approvingly. "Where's the rest?" Hermione had so far not been amused to the point of laughter by the terror of the two and neither had Ginny, Draco and Harry. But they were yet to see what would happen and continued to stare at the floating silver mirror.

There was a drawn out silence as the two girls both remained hidden and once again the twins began to get impatient. Draco gave George a look of utter distaste because when he unfolded his arms he had prodded him roughly in the side with his elbow.

"Ouch," he spat, furrowing his blonde eyebrows into a glower. George humored him with an apologetic glance. But apart from that, nothing much happened for a minute apart from the two girls/monsters peaking over the edge of the sofa at alternate intervals to check if they were safe. Even Ginny started to get bored.

"What kind of lame prank is this?" Fred asked accusingly, looking pointedly at Ron's head in front of him. His arms remained folded and his temper was not so excited any more. Ron turned abruptly and faced Fred's jiving. He gave Fred a sour look.

"Excuse me," he started sardonically, "But why exactly are you staring at me? This is, if I remember right, your invention?" There was a brotherly friction starting to flow between them that Hermione felt obliged to put an end to. It made everyone else around uncomfortable. They weren't exactly glaring at one another but they were nearing it.

"So far we've only seen two people; soon everyone else will wake up. You can't judge anything just yet," Hermione pointed out, looking over at them, twisting carefully in the squash of bodies. Fred nodded shortly and the tenseness began to dissolve. It was enough to satisfy her and she turned back to wait with the others for something more to happen.

Finally there was a break in the silence that made them all jump. There was a shrill screech from the girls' corridor and suddenly a repulsive looking sixth year burst out of the door. She was normal looking in every way except she was totally bald, her skin which was a raw light blue-grey, thick, leathery and crusty with an abundance of unsightly blemishes.

She ran across the room, behind the couch screaming, with her hands out before her. They were wrinkled and bubbly and there were no nails or sign of any joints, the things that made them human. All the boys winced together at the sound.

She was almost at the end of the couch when she tripped over something and fell ungracefully out of vision, landing flat on her face. There was a loud groan, the source of which they could not see with the one-sided view of the mirror but it came from behind the sofa. Following that was a rough grunt of pain and then silence.

There was the sound of running footsteps from somewhere and suddenly the boys' door flew open. It swung back roughly on its hinges and standing in the gap it once took was what could possibly be an older looking boy maybe in the sixth, fifth or seventh year. He was just as hideous as the others. He looked as if he had stepped out of star trek with serious burns. The skin of his face was molded into plastic-y folds.

"What's going on?" asked the Dr McCoy look-a-like, eyes moving rapidly around him. He frowned when he couldn't see anything. There was absolutely nobody in the room.

He took a couple of steps forward, head turning from side to side as he checked around him when he heard another boy approaching from behind. He ignored it at first, screaming would of course attract a lot of attention. He wondered why not more people had come.

"What's wrong?" a voice from over his shoulder. Dr McCoy-guy didn't hesitate to take his eyes off of the seemingly empty room to turn around to reply.

He had opened his mouth to say "no clue" but when he saw who had spoken all that came out was "AAAH!". His eyes swelled in his head so they looked like they might fall out. The person behind him in turn yelled out in disgusted surprise.

"Aaaah!" then there was a thick silence where they both looked at each other in alarm. George nodded.

"Much better," he praised himself.

What followed that involved the two girls getting up from behind the sofa seeing each other, running away, one bumping into the hiding girl and the other abruptly halting when she saw the two boys staring at each other. More people arrived and there was more confusion, more running around screaming, gasping and hiding.

By the time half the Slytherin common room was up they were laughing uncontrollably. Fred and George were having the hardest time trying to stay upright and keeping their eyes open to watch. It seemed that every time someone turned and found themselves face to face with another monster they reacted exactly the same way. There were some, like those who had been the first to arrive, who realized that the monsters were in fact Slytherins and were watching numbly from the side-lines with hanging jaws.

One of those standing near the wall in surprise was a green skinned, orange-eyed girl in the seventh year. She was the only one in the room who looked more angry than scared. Her arms were crossed brusquely across her chest with enough vigor to bruise herself. She was glaring at the stupidity of her housemates because she had been the only one so far who had stopped running and screaming to actually think what could be happening. She knew more would figure it out eventually once they calmed down.

She sneered when two people yelled in terror at each other then turned around and yelled again. However the Gryffindors watching burst into tears of laughter.

Ginny was clenching her sides as she struggled for breath. Even Draco was unable to hold back his amusement.

Hermione stopped laughing when she saw the boys' door swing open to reveal a lost looking, spiky-eared Goyle. Hermione leaned over to speak with the others, keeping her gaze intently on the hovering silver handled vanity mirror.

"Is that who I think it is?" she said quietly in awe. He didn't look much uglier compared with the other Slytherins which made sense because he was already so ugly that the difference was hardly noticeable. Ginny quit her giggling and frowned as she concentrated her relaxed mind. The green skinned girl was walking over to him, finally moving from her perch.

"Goyle?" she asked at the exact same moment Pansy approached him from behind and asked the very same question. The others tried to stop laughing, breathing deeply so they could hear what Pansy and Goyle would say.

"Waaarrrgghhh!!" yelped Goyle and they all could not help exploding with fits of giggles again. Fred and George were by far the loudest when it came to laughter. The mirth glowed in their eyes and their cheeks were beginning to hurt.

"Oh ooh..." said Hermione putting a sympathetic hand to her mouth in pity when the small orange haired girl got crushed against the wall and slid down. "The poor thing..." she said honestly. Ginny nodded and wiped the smirk from her face respectfully. Fred and George had a tougher time trying to feel bad for the crumpled pile of flesh with bright orange sprigs of hair. Their faces creased in equal ways as they really attempted to squash the grins.

They ended up hiding their guilty/evil smirks behind their hands.

"Yes, the poor thing," mimicked Fred and they both started snickering together. Hermione chose not to tell them off, just looking at them with repulsion similar to that which she looked at the Slytherins with.

And so it went on until Hermione could hardly move for the cramps. Her sides ached the more she laughed and she found herself trying hard to look away from the mirror to not laugh.

Ron finally decided they should stop now or else it would not be funny for much longer. When he took down the mirror from the air, they all nodded their agreement since they could not talk for the wheezing.

There were several minutes of panting and struggling for air with a few traces of giggling in between. Hermione and Draco, being the most sensible of the group, were the first to recover and breathe normally again.

* * *

Severus woke to sounds of shrieking so loud they ripped through his flesh and his brain. He snapped upright in an instant, the dark green sheets sliding from his chest. The aching muscles of his back and shoulders cried out in aggravation, begging for him to lie back down again. He had been so roughly torn away from his rest. He had found it in him to sleep a couple of hours at about seven that morning but he had in fact slept past his scheduled amount of time since it was now ten thirty.

In a moment he was alert and ready as one tends to be when one is (or was) a death eater. His black eyes lost their sleepiness and were focused and sharp. The sheets lay in folds on his lap. His room was half light with the filtered sunshine from the window high in the corner.

There was another collective scream and it hit his sleep deprived brain harder than before because he had been listening extra carefully for any sound of activity. He lifted a hand to his forehead and rubbed it.

He let out a disgruntled moan of pain and annoyance. They were the screams of playful teenagers which he had once upon a time often mistaken for screams of terror. He glared at the air in front of him. How he hated children. If he ever had a child himself he was sure he would not feel the same way but with others' he was free to hate them as much as he wished.

Even the fact they were Slytherins could save them from his wrath. He was most irritated and for one long minute in the haze from waking he forgot everything that had happened. He thought it was exactly the same routine as it was the past years and images of Hermione took too long to come back to him.

When they did he felt so ashamed and guilty with himself. She had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, he realized. He had never found anyone like her. Of course he had been with women and found most of them to be too stuck in tradition and air-headed. They were all hung up on pure blood like the Malfoys. He personally didn't give damn about someone's blood. This was so different. He had thought he knew himself well until recently. Hermione, although by far the most intelligent woman he had come across in his lifetime, had never even crossed his thoughts until he found himself being unreasonably protective of her.

But his thoughts were disturbed by several boys yelling consecutively. His dark glare deepened. What on earth was causing such a fuss? He decided that it would be hopeless to try and sleep longer with the sound and it was late.

He flung the sheets back in one sweeping motion and slid his legs out of bed. He would get dressed and wait in his classroom since it would be inevitable with such a commotion that someone would get injured and if this involved the whole Slytherin house (and he judged from the sounds of it that it did) then there would be many.

...

With his robes on and his cloak fastened around his neck despite the fact it was summer, he was scribbling scratchy notes on parchment. In his dank classroom with little light his mind was at peace. He had his head bent over his work so his hair hung on either side of his face and occasionally the tip of the eagle feather quill would push several strands of black hair out of its way.

His hand did not stop writing in thick inky, spiky words even when he randomly glanced to the sounds of screeches with his clear raven eyes.

He was not disturbed for a full ten minutes which he considered a lot. The soft scratching noises from his quill and being in his classroom surrounded by spicy scents of different ingredients helped his bad mood infinitely. The wooden desks and chairs, bathed in the light of torches on the wall, were empty. The pervading silence (excluding the occasional yelps) was pleasant and the fact he would not have to teach until next September put him in a good mood. At the end of this never-ending week everyone would leave.

He would be alone again... but what of Hermione? Where would she go? He had to speak with her but she would have to come and find him because he could not go into the Gryffindor common room. Little did he know that where she would be staying would not be of his concern when the time came around.

He was thinking of this when he was rudely interrupted, as expected, with a panicked knocking at the door. He sighed and put the quill down when the sharp noise carried through the air. He tried not to let his exasperation show in his face as he lifted his head to look at the door.

"Enter," his voice remained a drawl of superiority. The door did not creak open as he was too used to students doing when they were afraid or reluctant to enter. It slammed back into the wall with the same strength he usually used. It groaned as it bounced weakly off the stone.

Severus jumped violently. He gripped the arms of the chairs till his knuckles were white. It wasn't fear or terror of the kind the Dark Lord could induce but it was repulsed surprise. He stared at the ugly creature with wide eyes. Standing outside was a furious looking green skinned (what he assumed to be) girl. She had the most disgusting colored eyes he had ever seen, a mixture of orange and yellow. Her hair was a wild bundle of black straw and her nose was so long it was dangerously close to her chin.

Severus pushed himself back into his chair to get further away from the thing that was already very far away. He knew he was being ridiculous and tried not to show it.

"Who the hell are you?!" he snapped with shock and anger both leaking into his voice. He looked her up and down. He recognized those clothes.

Pansy ignored him. "Professor, you have to come see the Slytherin common room. NOW!" she ordered. His eyes narrowed. He recognized her voice as well. "I think a Gryffindor did this to us."

"What are you talking about?" he scorned back, "Miss Parkinson, is that you?" he asked disbelievingly.

She nodded her hideous head. "Yes. Everyone in the Slytherin house is the same way!" she said urgently. "You have to come immediately! We don't know how to reverse it."

"I will do no such thing. I do not get involved in the frivolous jokes of children," he bit back. "Now you have graduated you should be able to do things for yourself. If there are any casualties the prefects should be able to ensure their care until they reach the hospital wing. And what makes you think I will know the reversal for such a trick since I have never come across it myself?" Pansy/the green thing looked horrified by the laidback approach he was taking. She would have thought he would have been the first one on the scene.

"B-but... sir?!" she gaped. Severus gave her the "get-out-of-my-sight-if-you-wish-to-live" sneer. Pansy looked totally blank.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" he spat, "I do NOT get involved in childish jokes!" His posture was relaxing immensely now he understood that the creature was Miss Parkinson. His grip on the armrests was not so strong and he wasn't squashed against the back of his chair. His surprise (also his weakness) had dissipated.

He folded his arms smoothly across his chest to reinforce his point. Pansy, on the other hand, did not react accordingly. She did look as if she finally understood something but not what Severus had intended. A look of realization followed by a smirk took over her disgraceful features.

"It's because of Granger isn't it?" she said knowingly, folding her arms in turn across her chest. Her smirk grew smugly and she nodded slightly.

Severus gripped the armrests again tightly feeling the anger rising like boiling water in his chest. His brows drew together in an uncontrollable frown. He could not hold the pure hatred in his face back even if he had wanted to. He had always had the ability to control his facial expressions before but now he could not. His lips curled back into a vicious snarl. His eyes held a dangerously sharp touch to them, enhanced by the torchlight.

"What?" he said quietly. His voice was soft and icy enough to freeze the smug grin off of her face had she not been Slytherin. He articulated each syllable and managed to make such a small word seem bigger. He leaned forward in his seat but continued to squeeze the sides to help restrain himself. Pansy's grin did not fade but it did falter. She seemed to hesitate before regaining her Slytherin courage to push him to the edge.

"Granger had something to do with this," she continued with her unfounded certainty, "That's why you won't get involved," Severus held his silver tongue because he wanted to see exactly how far Pansy was about to dig herself into her own grave. Pansy took it as a sign that he was not as angry as he should be yet; that and she could not hold back her bitchy questions any longer. "What were you thinking, Professor?! Granger! She's a nuisance know-it-all and a Gryffindor! She's so much younger than you? How can you find anything worthwhile-"

Pansy's voice died in her throat when she realized she had crossed the line too long ago. She caught a glimpse of the glint in his eye although his face was intensely passive. The corner of lips gave a subtle twitch and Pansy closed her open mouth.

"_By all means_," his voice was the coldest drawl she had ever heard from him; that was not good seeing as she had seen him yell at Gryffindors, "_do continue._" His eyes transformed into black slits that glared with the light of the torches. His voice was sardonically coaxing her to keep making his nerves burn and pumping the levels of hate in his system.

She opened her mouth to try and defend herself but her eyes locked onto the deadly black of his. She could not get a sound past her lips.

"What right have you to interfere with other's personal lives, and a Professor's at that?" he lectured icily. He did not move, his protective rage set in stone on his face. "You seem to be forgetting your place Miss Parkinson. One thing you must learn, even if it is the only thing you will ever learn since you lack such intelligence, is that you can _never _insult Hermione, especially around me. Is that understood?" How he desired to rush over to the door and wring her ugly neck.

Pansy was left speechless. She had never imagined a voice, even Snape's, could make her feel so terrified. It was silky but rough with tiny invisible shards of glass embedded in it that cut and scratched the inside of her ear all the way to her brain. She shuddered, despite herself. She could sense how much fury he was containing and did not wish to give him any more reason to let it loose on her.

She stared at him long and hard then took a deep breath. She spun on her heel then left. Severus was left fuming at the empty air until the sounds of retreating footsteps disappeared.

* * *

Hermione was incredibly hungry. Her appetite was healthily large. She put a hand to her grumbling stomach.

She looked to the faces of her friends. Their party was once again down from seven to five. The twins had returned to the comfort of their joke shop. They had been most pleased with the results of their pale pink pills. They were sitting in the empty common room by the unlit fire. The silver mirror lay discarded on the table.

"Do you think it's safe to go down to the Great Hall?" she was holding back the urge to whine. She rubbed her stomach to sooth the pangs of hunger. Ginny eyed her incredulously. The pink pills should be wearing off about now.

"When did you last eat?" she asked, letting her arms fall from Draco's neck. Harry and Ron looked up from their game of chess. Draco marked the page of his book and put it next to Hermione's on the table with the mirror. All eyes were on her but free of the pressure she was sure to attract in the Great Hall.

"Yesterday...?" she said guiltily. Ginny looked surprised as if she had forgotten that Hermione did not join them for meals anymore. "But I don't want to go down," she said before Ginny had even opened her mouth.

"You'll have to face them sooner or later," pointed out Harry. He leaned back in his chair and brushed some of the tufts of black hair out of his eyes. Ron nodded in agreement.

"On the contrary," argued Hermione, lifting a finger into the air to help accentuate her own point, "I'll be leaving at the end of this week and I will never have to see them again... unless fate has a grudge against me." She snuggled up on the loveseat she sat on to make it clear she had no intention of getting up to go to lunch. She folded her arms across her chest.

Ginny frowned in caring concern, her mother shining right through her features.

"In fact, I think I'll go down to the dungeons if you don't mind," she said. She had changed her mind and struggled to pull herself upwards by the back of the seat. Her hair had unraveled itself from its perfect curls back to its normal frizzy mass because she had forgotten to put the spell on it in the morning. She had hardly noticed until now.

The boys looked shocked. Harry looked even a little irritated.

"What?!" he snapped. His eyebrows drew together as Hermione stood up. She chose to ignore him. She tucked a bunch of bushy hair out of her face behind her ear. She straightened her crushed skirt smartly.

"See you guys later," she said over her shoulder as she walked over to the portrait. She didn't care that the boys were so appalled in the slightest. She kept her pace brisk and Ginny smirked at the bounce that revealed Hermione's good humor.

"Bye!" called Ginny cheerfully with a broad grin.

* * *

When Severus heard the knock on the door for the second time he was certain it was another student begging him for assistance. He would be damned if he could find it in him to actually feel sorry enough to help.

He lifted his head and glared poisonous black daggers at the closed door. He didn't have patience at the moment, but then again he never did.

"What do you want?" he sneered sharply. There was a strong dose of bitterness and contempt he added for effect.

The door did not slam open but neither did it creak open timidly. He waited to see who would dare to be standing in the wake. He was surprised when he found himself scowling at Hermione; looking striking despite the fact her hair had come loose of its curls. She lifted an eyebrow when she spied his sour glare.

"Feeling a little grouchy?" she asked sarcastically with a good-natured smile. He dropped his frigid glower in a second. He placed his quill down, without looking at it and Hermione watched his every move intently, hungrily.

"I suspected I was about to be pestered by some panicked Slytherins..." he explained. Hermione glanced away, her lips forming a small guilty "o". He stood, pushing his chair back. His powerful ebony stare caught the guilt. Raising a brow himself, he gave her a skeptical look. "Would you happen to know anything about it?" his tone was light but Hermione felt the underlying interrogation.

"I might," Hermione replied cryptically, skirting an outright answer. She smirked a little. The torch light made her smirk look more sinister and guilty than it was.

"Meaning...?" he persisted his prying. He gave her a hard look. Hermione watched him straighten his back. He was not being rough or threatening in the slightest but he was demanding. He stood behind his desk, in front of his chair radiating the cold lonely vibe that he always did that simply cried out for someone to erase (and Hermione took that duty on herself).

"Meaning I may have had a hand in it..." she added with teasing defiance.

"That was not prudent," he said carefully, giving her a stern look. Hermione nodded. She started taking slow relaxed steps towards him.

"I know," she agreed, "It wasn't prudent but," any seriousness left her face, "it certainly was funny." She grinned at him and he raised a sharp black brow at her. All the while she was steadily getting closer to him. She missed his touch. Her feet seemed to be taking too long to carry her over to him.

"Maybe for you," he retorted silkily, "but for myself... I would have to label it downright terrifying-" Hermione chuckled. Severus raised a corner of his lips in a one-sided smile at her amusement. His long pale fingers rested delicately on the desk in front of him and his eyes followed her as she closed the large gap between them. She was wearing an off-white t-shirt and a blood red pleated skirt. He, on the other hand, was wearing his usual black robes that hung down balefully.

"I should have told you..." she apologized. "Then maybe it would have been less frightening and more entertaining..." she gave him a faux nervous smile.

"That would have been appreciated," he said sardonically. Hermione felt as if his smooth words were playing her heart. She wanted to shiver and she was ecstatic to think that she actually had reason to. She let her hand stroke the wood of her old desk as she passed it.

Severus noticed. He recalled images of her sitting behind that desk with her hand waving pointlessly in the air countless times while he ignored her. "I haven't given you the praise you deserved for all your years of attentiveness and hard work but I hope you know how much I approved..." his voice was a little sad and he watched her solemnly. Hermione was taken aback.

She stopped walking and frowned down at her hand placed on the desktop. She stared back up at him with confusion written in her eyes.

"Thank you for the compliment but I did not need to be praised for every successful paper I wrote. You inspired me to try harder when others tried to convince me that I was good enough I did not need to keep trying. That's valuable to me. Don't apologize for your actions," she said firmly.

She started walking over to him at a quicker pace than before. All she wanted was him and to make him feel better. He had too many problems and regrets to be guilty about the way he treated her as a student as well.

She came up to him, hesitating when she was a foot away. It wasn't really hesitation, she just wanted to stand back and look at him. She couldn't place what it was exactly that made him the one for her but whatever it was it was certainly powerful. He appeared as normal as ever clad in long black robes and cloak that flew out behind him when he walked. His black hair hung beside his jagged features and his black eyes dug deep into her soul.

She broke into a satisfied smile just staring at him. Then she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, comforting her. He had his face close to hers so they were an inch apart. He held her by the waist gently and rested his forehead against hers.

Hermione relaxed and melted with his touch.

"Say you love me," she whispered. He pulled her closer so they were pressed against each other.

"I love you," he purred. Hermione smiled softly. Her heart started racing in her chest.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. The tender touch was more than welcomed, creating a different kind of warmth from that of the summer rising from inside her.

If she had had any doubts, this would have been enough to destroy them.

* * *

Hermione spent several more hours with him in the comfort of his study. Severus sat on the leather couch. He had started to take a liking to the maroon color after a while. He and Hermione were reading. She lay with her legs across his lap and held the book up over her face to read. Her fluffy hair provided a sufficient cushion.

The fire was alight, throwing its orange glow out to the room still but Severus had put several spells on the room to keep it cool enough. Together, in contented silence, they both focused on their books. Hermione was reading one of his since she had left her own in the Gryffindor common room.

Suddenly her stomach let out a large rumbling growl. Severus lowered his thick black book to look at her. Hermione shot him an apologetic look from under her own book in return.

"Sorry." Severus ignored her apology since it was not needed. He gave her a concerned glare that reminded her of Ginny.

"You haven't eaten?" he asked sternly. Hermione raised her brows at him in puzzlement. She shook her head reluctantly on the red sofa. He slowly closed his book and put it to one side. "Since when?" he turned back to her giving her a strict stare that made Hermione feel protected.

"Yesterday...?" she repeated the same answer she had given Ginny. His frown deepened, if possible.

"Yesterday..." he echoed darkly. "And when exactly do you plan on eating again?"

"I don't know..." She said unsurely. She bit her bottom lip as she continued to stare back guiltily. She didn't understand why she had to be guilty but she felt she should be. "Whenever..."

"I will not stand by while you starve yourself," he said firmly. He pushed her legs off of him and Hermione moaned in complaint. She didn't really mind the fact that he cared so much for her but she didn't want to move.

He stood, keeping his unyielding eyes on her. Hermione started shaking her head in useless argument. He would not take no for an answer, she could see it in his piercing black eyes.

He held out a slender hand and she obliged by taking it. The smooth touch of his hand reminded her of Graduation. "You are going to eat," he ordered as he yanked Hermione slowly up off of the sofa.

She had been comfortable, lying down, and when she stood she almost let herself fall back down to the console of her cozy position. And she would have let go of his hand if he had not been gripping her back. She sighed and chose to rest against him instead.

"Really," she whined into his shoulder, "I'm not that hungry! This is completely unnecessary!" Severus ignored her and put an arm around her back as he led her over to the fireplace. Hermione let him lead her. Despite her grumbling she relished his concern. "Can't we just stay here?" she pleaded half-heartedly when they stopped in front of the fire.

He shook his head, his shoulder-length black hair brushing the top of her head. He put a hand up to the mantle and took a pinch off floo power from a large jar. It glittered a dull green between his fine fingers. He threw it into the fire and it formed a cascade of pale powder showering down in an arc lost into the flames. As soon as it was consumed by the fire the flames flared up high, changing from a soft orange/yellow to a strong emerald green.

He nudged her forwards into the fire by the arm at her back. Hermione sighed and grudgingly stepped over the grate with him at her side.

"The kitchens," he drawled. Hermione threw her arms around him tightly just before the fire swallowed them because she remembered exactly how treacherous the whole ride was. She didn't want to be separated from him. She buried her face in his neck just as the flames raged about them.

In a second they disappeared from view.

* * *

Finally!! Done with chapter thirteen!!!!! Took so long!!! Thank you for reading this story by the way.

You have to start worrying (I'm telling you in advance before I forget) about the ending. I haven't decided to make it a happy or a sad one because it can turn into a horrible ending so easily. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what I feel like when I get there. I'm swaying towards happy – because that's what I want. A sad ending would mean less writing...

And sorry if you get impatient with this chapter – I'm itching to get to the goods but I have to wade my way through time first until the _right_ moment. Plus I'm having second thoughts about rewriting Dark Silence. I like it better than this one but I can't bring myself to go over it. I may put it off until I finish the next one. Email me if u want it - but I wouldn't recomend it - its pretty bad.

hang on... its no where near over yet!

I have a feeling that I'll be writing SSHGs until 2050 even if I write books in between.

Drop a review b4 u leave pleez!Luv Snakecharmer


	14. Draco and the Dark Circle

Chapter 14: Draco and the Dark Circle (When is this story going to end so I can start my new one?!?!?!!)

* * *

So far:

The Slytherin prank makes them go haywire. Hermione and Severus don't have to deal with the whole school knowing because they've been "hiding" or avoiding the mealtimes. Hermione hasn't eaten for a day and Severus makes her when he finds out. And today is Hogsmead.

* * *

"It doesn't feel like it's the last school trip to Hogsmead we'll ever have..." Hermione said sadly. She cupped her tankard of butterbeer with her hands on the rounded table of the Three Broomsticks. Together she, Harry, Ron, Draco and Ginny were sharing their last drinks at Hogsmead before they left Hogwarts.

Ginny was looking especially miserable. Her head was hanging and they could all hear the words she didn't need to say. The long deep red sheets of hair dangled, shadowing her freckles and her gloomy face. Draco kept a comforting hand on her shoulder but he wanted to try and keep the atmosphere away from depressing.

"I know. We probably should make the most of it," agreed Harry. He gulped down some of his foamy butterbeer then mimicked Hermione by cupping the tankard. Ron nodded to show he agreed as well.

Hermione looked around the room with her aged light brown eyes. It had never changed in the seven years they had been coming here. She had remembered when the fellow Hogwarts students around the room at other tables would be whispering together over their drinks, the attention directed at Harry. But now she was receiving a similar kind of treatment.

Lavender and Pavarti were being the least discrete of them all by staring blatantly at Hermione while they conversed rapidly in low voices. Hermione just ignored them. She didn't care what other people thought, as long as she had her friends. She was getting very used to being under the accusing eye of the student body.

The door creaked as it swung open and Hermione automatically twisted in her chair abruptly to see who it was. She was disappointed to find that it was just Seamus and Dean talking over two bags of Zonko's jokes. There was a bright shaft of light that escaped the outside air into the room until the door slammed it back out again behind the two young men who still managed to find amusement in children's tricks.

They were one of the few who didn't freeze and stare when they spotted Hermione talking with her friends. She was grateful.

She returned to her drink, sipping it slowly. There was a disheartened silence where the five of them did not speak.

Draco was the first to break the uncomfortable hush caused from old friendships of which he did not belong. He took his hand from Ginny's shoulder and prepared to stand.

"Do you mind if I steal Ginny for a while?" he said as he pushed his wooden chair back and stood. Ginny picked up her bowed head to look at him with a blank smile. Draco was not asking their permission, just informing them in his polite way that he was taking Ginny with him.

She got up from the table with a new energy that was dim but existent. Her rounded friendly face was devoid of the misery that had filled it a second ago. It showed her brother that Draco in fact made her a lot happier than he had originally imagined.

When they both left together at a relaxed pace, arm in arm, and walked out through the old wooden door it was once again down to the original threesome. Hermione didn't know how to tell them that she would have to leave soon to meet up with Severus as she had arranged.

"Brings back memories," Ron said fondly looking to his two best friends. He had read her mind exactly. But a second later his affectionate smile at old times dropped from his face. Hermione knew that he was thinking of how things had changed since then.

"I better go," Hermione said suddenly. She couldn't take the sadness anymore. She would wander Hogsmead for a while before she went up to the shrieking shack to meet Severus. She pushed herself up by the tabletop. Forget her butterbeer, the tenseness was overbearing. Harry looked more disappointed than surprised.

"Why?" he asked, his voice came out forced and Hermione felt even worse. She couldn't wait to be free of the mood.

"To see Severus," she said briskly, stepping away from her chair and tucking it in. Harry visibly flinched at his first name. Hermione didn't care.

"Fine," he said coldly with darkness in his green eyes. Hermione froze. She didn't like his tone in the slightest. She hesitated, standing still facing away from Harry. She straightened her back and chose not to turn around.

Hermione inhaled deeply while Harry and Ron stared at her back then headed over to the door.

"So much for making the most of it," Ron muttered dully to Harry as they watched her leave.

* * *

She at first had dragged herself around Hogsmead with a sad mood hanging on her shoulders but then after a long while of remembering some of the good times she had regained a spring to her step.

By the time she was supposed to meet up with Severus she was almost skipping. Her light pace resulted in a smile creeping to her lips that she was unaware of.

The summer air was warm but not too hot and the white light filled the streets making them look dusty and faded but welcoming. The cobbled paths shone with a lost radiance and the crooked buildings leaned perilously against each other. Hermione breathed in the fresh scent of greenery and something else that she could not place that made the air so enticing.

She had walked through different streets and stopped to look in the windows of several different shops. The bookshop had been very tempting but she didn't go in. She didn't want to be late for Severus. She knew this shop inside out as well and all the best books were already owned by her.

There had been a gorgeous black cat in the pet shop display window that Hermione had spotted immediately. It was sophisticated and sat away from the other animals proudly as if it was better than them all. It was poised, upright in the corner, licking its paws as if it were an honor for others to be around to witness it.

Hermione would have purchased that cat if she had not already owned a sufficiently wonderful one.

She loved summer, she decided; it was her time of year. She wanted to take off her shoes to walk barefoot in the grass of the round hill leading up to the view of the shrieking shack. She kept them on, however, but paused her strolling to pick several wild purple pansies. She recalled that that was the flower Shakespeare had used for A Midsummer Night's Dream.

The stems snapped without real resistance and by the time she reached the top of the hill she had a whole fistful of them. At heart she felt free on grassy plains with wild flowers; she was not the kind of person who would love the city. But she was fine with being locked away in a room if it was to read. Why that was, she didn't know.

She didn't see Severus when she got to the very top of the mound. She looked the full circle around her: to her right, the forest, to her front, the mountains and caves, to her left, the houses of Hogsmead she had just come from and to her back... a few scattered houses and the path back to Hogwarts. He had not arrived yet so she supposed that she must be early.

She sat down with the handful of pansies on the cool green of the grass with her legs folded under her and proceeded to fold the flowers into a wreath under the beating sun to pass the time.

...

Hermione had finished her violet wreath of delicate wild pansies and still he had not arrived. For ten minutes she sat with her head in her palm tapping the side of her jaw with her fingers in a bored manner. When he still did not show up she forced herself up, brushed the grass and creases from her skirt then went back down the hill to find more flowers to fold together. She had chosen a mixture of daisies and pansies this time.

She sat back down on the top on the small green hill and once again set to work. She wished she had had a book instead, that would have been more entertaining. Her nimble fingers managed to finish the second wreath faster than the first and she was left bored again.

She lay backwards on the cool earth, not caring if she got some blades of grass embedded in her fluffy mass of hair. She shuffled herself into a comfortable position and rested her hands on her stomach, her knees propped up. The warmth of summer, the rustling of leaves and the singing of birds was enough to lull her to sleep.

She had just closed her eyes to take a nap when there was a loud "crack" noise from behind her. She started and snapped upright in a second. Her wide eyes searched the space in front of her anxiously. There was no one there.

She scrambled to her feet quickly and stood up. She turned around to see if there was anyone behind her and there was. Severus was standing stiffly, black against the green around him, just behind her.

She relaxed. Why she had panicked, she wasn't sure but the silence that accompanied his arrival had set off warning bells from the days of always being prepared for an attack. But those days were still now, although recently that had been forgotten she realized.

There was something about him that was different, Hermione could tell. She started to walk over to him cautiously. He was radiating a bitter vibe that asked her to leave him alone (which Hermione had absolutely no intention of doing). His deep black stare was clouded by some emotion that looked a lot like sadness. She hoped with all her heart he had not become despondent once again.

When she was close to him, enough to feel his breathing, she tentatively laid a hand on the ebony robes of his chest. He stiffened a little but concealed it well. He looked back at Hermione looking up at him and felt more depressed inside.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, staring him down with equal strength. He was the first to back down, surprisingly, and glanced away to the mountains. Hermione frowned. He somehow seemed paler and thinner since she had seen him last night. And the fact that he did not answer her question was enough for her to worry.

"Where is Mr. Malfoy?" he dodged her question but finally broke the silence. She noticed his breathing was ragged and harsh. His eyes refused to stay still and focus on one thing alone, flickering pointlessly to different scenery objects around them. She felt as though he did not want her to touch him and that he had tensed from the hand on his chest.

"I don't know," she frowned, further confused by his words, "Why? What happened? Where were you?" the questions rolled effortlessly from her tongue and she knew that he would not appreciate them.

"I was..." he searched for the word, "... unavoidably detained," he said coolly. His silky words were not enough to make her feel any better in fact they made her feel worse. Something dropped in her stomach.

"W-what?" she stuttered. She had always known he had been a spy but in the back of her mind she didn't believe he would come to any harm. Only just this second did she fully understand what his work entailed. There was a loud rustle of leaves from behind them as a particularly harsh gust ruffled the trees.

She gulped nervously and wrapped her arms around him tightly, just to make sure he really was standing in front of her, healthy and alive. She leaned the side of her head against him. Yes, he really was there, alive and well in her arms. But how could she be sure he was not hurt? Her heart started to speed up anxiously.

He put his hands on her back gently but Hermione could tell his actions were hesitant and forced, devoid of the tenderness she usually felt. It was all she could do not to break down into tears. She knew that she should not be so ridiculous and that he did not need to handle a crying woman on top of what he had just dealt with and that helped her hold it back.

"It is important that I find Mr. Malfoy soon," he continued and Hermione was grateful for some form of explanation, "He has to go," he wavered before continuing, "-into hiding, unless he wishes to become a Death Eater..." Hermione felt the lump in her throat dissipate and all her sadness was replaced with an icy numbness.

Severus could feel Hermione's disbelief. Her mind didn't want to accept it.

"I-I don't u-understand," she was not crying. She refused to let herself but her voice came out choked just the same. Severus pitied her some. He stroked her back and Hermione relaxed with it because it was an act of tenderness and she once again felt he loved her.

"Yes, you do," he muttered firmly into the bushel of fluffy hair. Hermione cuddled up against him more and sighed. She was feeling much better now he was acting normally again. And his sternness helped her nerves calm down from their shaky heights. The soft strokes on her back soothed the sinking in her insides.

Yes, she did understand. Draco was wanted as a Death Eater and had to go into hiding. She pitied Ginny strongly and it was helped by pity for herself. Draco did not have a dark mark burned into his flesh, Severus did and every single time it stung black he would have to go and answer to the Dark Lord's whim.

"Are you hurt?" she whispered into his clothes and Severus strained to hear her. He stopped caressing her back. Hermione wished he hadn't. There was a silence enforced by the lack of other people around them.

"No," he assured her. Hermione did not believe him. She tilted herself back from him to look him hard and long in the eyes. She was once again overcome with sadness when she saw they were misty with the remnants of pain. It also accounted for his heavy breathing. He looked back with equal defiance in an attempt to mask it. He was probably not wounded at the moment but had been under the... "curse" that she didn't even want to think about.

"You're lying," she said miserably. He looked surprised that she had seen right through him. Then he nodded.

"Yes," he admitted. "But I'm fine now." Hermione doubted it but she could tell that it was something he at least half believed. Now that he was being less frigid Hermione was dealing a lot better. She had been badly stressed but now she at least felt she knew him again.

She let go of him, finding enough strength in her to do so. Poor Ginny, she thought, again.

* * *

"We should probably go back to Hogwarts for a pain relief poti-"

"That is not necessary," Severus replied strictly. Hermione closed her open mouth. "I already told you, I'm alright now." She decided to do as he asked and let the subject drop.

They were treading their way through the staring crowd on the cobbled streets of Hogsmead, arm in arm. Hermione ignored the googly eyes as best she could but Severus chose to do the exact opposite. Whenever he managed to catch someone's eye he would give them a poisonous look. They would shrink back away from the depths of his deadly eyes.

He managed to part the throng of students and graduates with his dark stare alone.

"Impressive," Hermione mumbled. He wasn't listening since he was sneering at fifth year girl who could not believe her eyes.

"What?" he turned to her, replacing the coldness in his eyes for kindness. It made the watching people gawk.

"Your glare," Hermione stated with a small smile, "It's impressive." He raised a brow and a corner of his lips in mild amusement. He realized he not only loved her but was also "fond" of her as well. He didn't think it was possible. "Fond" was a word used for adorable puppy dogs and he was no fan of puppy dogs. But her smile... she had a hold on him that was deadly... and that was a good thing.

"Thank you," he smirked at her comment, "It takes talent," he boasted, "And practice". She snorted. He took pride in his glower but then again... he possessed a glower to be proud of.

"You should teach it to me one day," she grinned up at him and squeezed his arm in a playful manner. He was also not one to stand playful banter but from Hermione it was the opposite of irritating and he wished she would tease more often. He could hardly believe it himself.

"Indeed I should," he agreed with a full smirk, "I can tell you have potential." They turned a corner around a crooked shop into a backstreet free of prying eyes. It helped take any pressure off of them but they already were oblivious to it. Alone the two of them walked arm in arm, side by side, occasionally brushing and softly bumping into one another.

"Potential..." Hermione echoed sarcastically. "A strong word for something as simple as a glare."

"I dare to disagree," he was humouring her by talking a conversation which with any other person he would never have, "A glare can be so much more than simple. A subtle difference can mean a completely different emotion." Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Exactly," he said, nodding to her expression, "you are not being spiteful and it shows subtly."

"OK," Hermione admitted "So you have a point but what use will it be to me?" She liked this pointless conversation. It passed the time and helped make her more comfortable. And a plus was she got to hear more his voice that had such a strong affect on her.

"You may find that being able to read people's expressions down to the finest detail can come in useful..." he said with mock sarcasm.

He stopped walking abruptly and Hermione automatically copied his actions. She wondered what had made him stop and frowned as she looked about her, gripping his arm tightly. She was edgy and she knew it. What she was afraid of was that it could be a group of death eaters or something like that but when she saw what had made him stop she sighed deeply and flopped against him in pure relief.

"Hello Hermione!" Ginny called cheerfully. She waved enthusiastically from the other end of the street. Draco and she were glued together at the side in a similar way to Hermione and Severus. And, to her disappointment, Severus noticed it too and immediately let go of her when he realized he was acting in an identical way to a love-struck teenager.

It made her break into a smile, even though she was frustrated. It probably was a horrifying shock to him.

There a was a small silence where the two couples (not something Severus would like to be referred as) approached each other, stopping in front of a dusty window of an old falling apart house.

"Mr. Malfoy," he began formally with a small nod of acknowledgement, "We need to talk." Draco had been looking pleasantly contented (still a relatively new sight) but his face darkened with bewilderment. He had picked it up from Severus. Hermione marvelled at it. It seemed that it was a gift shared by Slytherins.

"Why?" he asked cautiously, looking to Hermione's face instead of Severus' for easier answers. Hermione tried to keep her face blank because she knew that this was not the place to discuss. His blonde eyebrows drew together sharply when he did not get an immediate answer and he scowled at Severus. "Professor Snape?" he pushed.

"A subject of this kind is for the private setting," he explained. Ginny frowned too at Hermione and Hermione was obliged to bite her lip instead of letting words spill from her tongue. She bowed her head a little, unable to look Ginny in the eye. This news was definitely going to sting badly.

"Something's not right..." Ginny said quietly into his ear as Draco eyed Severus carefully with cryptic silver eyes.

* * *

"WHAT?!" roared Draco. Hermione started in surprise and Ginny just gaped, pale as a sheet of parchment. He stood with such vigour that his chair crashed to the floor of Dumbledore's office behind him. His eyes shone with angry disbelief. Hermione gripped the edges of the armchair and stared at Dumbledore to see his reactions to Draco's rashness.

Ginny wasn't talking but it looked like she was trying to. Her mouth kept opening and closing numbly beneath her wide eyes. Then she started shaking her head. Hermione reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Ginny was grateful for the gesture but too much upset and in shock to realize it.

He slammed his fists violently down on the grand desk. Severus noted coolly that he was acting more like a Gryffindor than a Slytherin.

"This cannot be true," he hissed through gritted teeth, leaning his face close to Dumbledore who remained absolutely unruffled. He had his fingers entwined, lying on the table, and he watched Draco over the top of his half-moon spectacles with twinkling blue eyes. Draco was fuming with a rage he knew should not be directed at those trying to help, yet he couldn't take it out on anyone else. His relatively longish blonde hair hung out of place around his high cheekbones.

"Malfoy," snapped Severus, giving him a disapproving glower, "Please restrain yourself. We are only suggesting a method that will keep the flesh of your forearm intact," he spat. He unconsciously rubbed the spot where his dark mark was through the sleeve of his black robes. Hermione noticed and her heart clenched.

She touched the hand on his arm gently and he flinched. He was astonished that he had been massaging the tattoo of the skull and snake. She could see in his face for a moment he was totally vulnerable and his surprise was plainly open in his eyes. He recovered quickly, masking his emotions incredibly well.

Draco watched the scene; all malice dropped, and he turned to Ginny after taking his curled fists off of the table hesitantly. He straightened his back slowly and kept his eyes of his former professor and Hermione who were engrossed in a silent conversation with their eyes.

Ginny was staring up at him with pleading eyes. He very nearly changed his mind from the way she looked at him alone but his conclusion was steadfast. Dumbledore was watching the spectacle with fascination. He admitted even he could not have seen such romance coming with all his years of knowing Severus. He had thought Severus would not give in to emotions even if they were strong.

"Please Draco," Ginny begged sadly, knowing it was no use, "I don't want... I wouldn't be able to... if you became..." She hung her head as she trailed off and then there was an uncomfortable silence.

Hermione kept her hand on Severus'. The cool touch was comforting and he was grateful for it as well.

Draco let out an audibly large sigh and bent down to pick up the chair that had fallen. It was heavier than he remembered it being when he had shoved it backwards. He pulled it upright and closed his eyes before he collapsed into it. It groaned at having been put under the stain of the weight of a man.

"I can't go into hiding," he said solemnly, avoiding anyone's eye. He propped his elbows on his knees and hid his face with his hands. "I won't. It could be for a month or a decade. I don't want to spend endless days trapped like a rodent in a cage with no idea whether it will be the day they find and kill me. I will not sacrifice my life for more time," he sighed again into his hands and closed his eyes.

Ginny looked as though she understood but she was mortified. She was staring at him like she had never known who he was.

"You're going to become... one of them?" she choked. Draco looked up from his hands so quickly Hermione almost started again. He gave Ginny a long hurt look from under the stray strands of blonde.

"Don't even think it," he ordered icily, looking intently into her eyes. Ginny's horror was substituted by blissful relief. "Ginny..." he said quietly, sadly. He looked away from her again.

Ginny got up from her chair to sit on Draco's lap. Her fingers rested on the arm of her chair a moment while she watched him looking up at her. Then she ensconced herself into the seat of his lap. Once she had her arms comfortably around his neck she placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"I'm sorry..." she mumbled. Hermione smiled warmly at them.

"You are a topic of great interest in the Dark Circle," Severus said quietly, but everybody heard him perfectly. He broke the emotional vibe with little effort. The room fell prey to a different type of silence. He looked each person in the eyes, boring into them like black flames and the serious tone returned. Ginny shrank away from Severus into Draco as if furthering herself from him would bring happiness.

Draco frowned. "What do you mean?" he was speaking slowly and for a long moment he forgot that Severus was not his Professor anymore.

"I mean that where your loyalties lie is still under much discussion in the Circle," he explained. "If you do not choose to be a Death Eater then your father's loyalties would be questioned since he has been one of the few who truly believed you were ready to join them-"

"I have no emotional ties to my father," Draco snapped, cutting in. Hermione could tell from the look in his eye that he meant it. "I do not care what happens to him. He deserves more than he can get."

"-And since they are aware of your relationship to a Weasley they are already planning on ways to either turn her or kill her-" he tried to continue.

"What?!" he interrupted again. His silver-grey eyes clouded with protectiveness and Ginny's brows shot up.

"-She is a weakness and weaknesses will not be tolerated in the Dark Circle," he seemed to speak with passion or experience and Hermione frowned. "They will see to it that they are destroyed." He finished, all the while watching Draco darkly to make sure he would not butt in again.

Hermione was watching his face very carefully because she had an inkling as to what exactly he meant by 'weaknesses will not be tolerated'. She was more than certain that she was the cause for his suffering earlier today and it hurt to realize that.

Hermione looked Severus straight in the eye and he realized that she was definitely smart enough to figure out... what had happened. He wanted to rip his eyes away but he couldn't from the questioning brown of Hermione's. The touch on his hand tightened until she was gripping him and Dumbledore pushed his spectacles further up his nose, silently, as he watched intently from his perch behind his desk.

"So am I in danger too?" Hermione asked quietly and the tenseness in the air quadrupled. Severus felt his mouth go dry. How could he tell her? He glanced at Dumbledore who raised a false ignorant brow in reply. For the first time in his life Severus wished there was more light in the room. It was too dimly lit and he had never ever felt claustrophobic but now he just wanted space.

He forced himself to answer. "Not at the moment but I doubt they will give us peace for long..." he sighed and once again Hermione was faced with expressions he forgot to mask. It worried her.

"Why not at the moment?" Hermione was feeling as though less and less blood was reaching her brain. The more she heard the closer she came to blacking out. If she did black out she supposed it would feel like sweet relief. She shakily brushed a tuft of thick hair behind her ear with a pale hand.

"They have other things to think about, recruiting being the main thing," Dumbledore finally spoke. It surprised them all and everyone watched Dumbledore who was fiddling with a gold pendulum. Severus was grateful. Dumbledore had saved this conversation from going down the path it shouldn't.

He nodded his agreement for Hermione and stroked her thick hair a few times and she looked into his eyes once more, searching hungrily for more answers. She was soothed by the softness which he gave her but her appetite for the truth was not completely impeded.

"Will I have to go into hiding?" Ginny piped up, curled up in Draco's lap. Draco shook his head, although the answer wasn't his to give. It seemed that he was firm on this subject.

"No, you won't," Dumbledore reassured her and Draco stopped shaking his head to shoot Dumbledore a look of misunderstanding. He had expected Dumbledore to rebut him. "As long as young Draco," the words stung like an insult but he ignored them with good grace, "is not a member of the Death Eaters then you have nothing to fear..."

Ginny smiled with relief and leaned against Draco with a deep sigh.

Hermione looked to the floor with a thoughtful frown. She could feel the burn of Severus' stare on the back of her head but she ignored it for now. She was seeing things in his eyes that asked more questions than answered them.

"Are you sure about your decision Draco?" Dumbledore asked kindly, watching him carefully over the rim of his spectacles. Draco looked slightly hesitant but then he nodded his blonde-haired head. "The offer will still stand, ready for if ever you should feel it would be too perilous. Come straight to me and I will arrange for your secret keeper."

* * *

Two days later, the last day of school saw Hermione studying Severus carefully over her lowered book. He was sitting once again on the sofa with Hermione's legs over his lap. His head was bent over his book and his hair hung beside his face but not enough to block it from her view. Her eyes skimmed over the features of his face. His dark eyes scanned the words of the thick volume in his hold in a hypnotically repetitive manner: left to right, left to right.

She smiled, unable to hold back the sign of affection. He was so absorbed in his book, lost in a world created for him by the author. She didn't want to disturb him. She looked around the room briefly. The bookshelf still looked as enticing and wonderful as it always did, stretched across the whole wall behind them. The desk with various potions bottled scattered around it had not been used for several days. That was unusual because almost every night Severus needed some potion or another to help him think or sleep. The chess set in the corner was set in a game they had left for another time and the fire beside them sputtered and crackled with the fresh wood, throwing flickering orange glows across the shadows and keeping the room bright enough to read.

Her soft smile grew when he turned the page with his brows drawn into a concentrated frown. He continued reading, oblivious to the eyes watching his every action. She laid the book she held down on her rising and falling chest, keeping her gaze on Severus.

"You look like a cat person to me," she mused affectionately. He looked up from his book at her as if he had misheard her. She beamed at him and he wondered exactly what importance this conversation would hold.

"A cat person?" he echoed. "I do not have much love for creatures with more than two legs. A snake has none," he pointed out and picked up his book as though to return to it. He slid a finger under the next page and flipped it and began to read. Hermione smirked evilly. She had no intention of letting him read.

"What about a snail?" she asked with mock fascination, hugging the book to her chest as she raised an eyebrow. "A snail has a foot – which we can call half a leg - under its belly. Do you love snails?" she pursed her lips not to laugh at the look of horror and surprise at her words.

"Most certainly not!" Hermione chuckled. She opened her mouth to speak again but he continued, "And before you ask, I have no love for maggots and worms and anything of that sort," he finished with finality and opened his book smartly to make it clear he wanted quiet so he could read.

"Fine, then what exactly," the second she began talking again he let out a large sigh and closed his book with a snap and laid it to one side. Hermione ignored his display and kept talking animatedly. "-is it that you "love" so much about snakes...hmm?"

She pulled herself upright, put her book to one side and took her legs from his lap carefully. She twisted herself around so she was facing the opposite direction and slowly lay back down, placing her head comfortably in his lap instead. She noted it made a much better pillow than the cushion she had been using previously.

She looked up expectantly at him, waiting for an answer and for an instant he just watched her looking striking with her fluffy hair blanketing his thighs. Then he decided to humour her. It was the last day he would see her before she left. He placed a gentle fine-boned hand on her forehead.

"What I love about snakes..." he said slowly, like it took all his concentration to think what it was that made snakes so special. He made it sound more like an essay with that sentence alone.

He laid his other hand on her stomach tenderly. She gripped it with her own in return, still keeping a sharp eye on him.

"They are delicately poised," he began. Hermione shuffled herself to get more comfortable. This was relaxing and his company was enjoyable. She wanted to make the most of it. "They are quick witted, sharp, silent and stealthy. They have an air of elegance and refinement but also dangerousness. That and the snake is the symbol for Slytherin."

"You're proud of being Slytherin, aren't you?" Hermione asked softly. She was watching the lowering flames beside her. In the comfort of his company and with her head resting in the warmth of his lap she was slowly relaxing to dimensions she had never reached before. If she wasn't careful she would fall asleep again.

"Most of the time," he replied slowly. His voice seemed remorseful. Hermione picked up on it immediately. She squeezed the hand on her stomach tenderly.

"What do you mean?" she murmured, not taking her gaze off of the flickering light.

"I do not mind that Slytherin has a bad reputation. It symbolises all the best qualities. But there have been times when I wished I wasn't one..." he trailed off and his black eyes unfocused as he recalled depressing memories. Hermione sensed him tense a little. "I don't want to discuss it," he added firmly. Hermione felt it was a fair deal because she didn't want him to be so miserable.

There was pause in conversation. Hermione glanced over to her discarded dark blue book more than once, wishing it were within her reach. Severus had been put off reading and did not pick up his own from beside him. He chose to think instead, something few people did nowadays.

"You have not told me," Severus started blankly, speaking his thoughts, "where you will be living after tomorrow..." It was a question hidden in a statement. Hermione frowned at the fire.

"To be honest," she said truthfully, "I, myself, don't know for sure where I will be living..." Severus raised a brow, even though Hermione could not see. "I'm moving in with Harry, Ron and most probably Draco into a flat Harry picked out in south London but the distance shouldn't matter because I can apparate and we have floo..." she realized he did not need an explanation of the ways they could keep in contact.

She shut up and sighed. She wanted to close her eyes, knowing she would fall asleep instantly but she could not spend the night here. She had some packing to do. It didn't feel real. She was sure she would be back next year. The knowledge would not be accepted by her heart. Hogwarts was her home.

"I will take you to see it as soon as Harry, Ron and Draco go out. I don't think they would appreciate it if I brought you there while they were there. It's part of the agreement that involves them accepting us," she said quietly, lightly playing with his fingers. He watched her from above carefully. "I promise." It was good enough for him.

"I'll hold you to it," he replied, equally quiet. The touch on his fingers held no description for him, being a too wonderful and priceless an addition to his memories.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence once more. The fire sputtered several times as it radiated its heat. Severus picked up his book, now that his mind had cleared of the thoughts that had disabled it. He began to read and Hermione found enough entertainment fiddling with his hand on her stomach.

"Will you tell me about Stella one day...?" Severus looked down to Hermione looking up thoughtfully. He did not know why she had reached such questions in the silence they shared. He gave it serious consideration. Watching Hermione's kind doe brown eyes a new feeling washed over him. Would there never be an end to them? He wanted her to know but the pain he felt when thinking of her, let alone discussing her, was still too fresh, even after all this time.

"One day," he assured her slowly, "I will."

* * *

Phew, finished it (and finally a full outline for all the chapters to come – 25 – I think – if it takes too much or too little space I'll have to adapt it). Now I have my outline for the interesting part then my desire to write this came back. Hang on. (not long now!!!)

Finally getting somewhere with this story!! A trace of what I've been waiting to write. Now my cousins are gone, my sources of entertainment and since they're older they get to take me places etc... (did I mention I was on tv – only in Lebanon but that's still cool) And now I have two and a half weeks of nothing to do but write. From my calculations, there are about 200 pages left to be written. (That's more than I anticipated – hopefully I'm wrong)

And I think I've revealed WAY too much in this chapter. (And I'm going to have to add angst to the subject in about three or four chapters).

I'm uploading from my new house in Qatar and it is fabulous!! Temperature is perfect and I'm right across from the gym and pool!! I'm so happy. (sorry to bore u with personal totally useless information)

Enjoy. Luv, Snakecharmer.


	15. Moving In

Chapter 15: Moving In

* * *

So far: 

What was supposed to be a trip to Hogsmead with Severus turned into a confusing situation. Severus was summoned to the dark circle and Draco was the topic of conversation (and apparently Hermione was the reason for a punishment for Severus). They go in search of the streets of Hogwarts for him and take him and Ginny to Dumbledore who asks him to go into hiding. Draco refuses firmly. Two days later is the last full day at Hogwarts for Hermione and she once again is in his study with him where he promises to tell her about Stella one day.

* * *

"Oh Harry," Hermione said in awe, looking around the empty white-walled apartment with wide eyes, "It's gorgeous!" Her brown eyes flickered across the space in wonder. She was already planning the colors to add to it and where the furniture should go in her mind. She was more than grateful for being a witch. It would make unpacking a lot less tiring. 

It was one day after they had left Hogwarts for good (it still seemed surreal). Mrs. Weasley had offered/forced them to stay at the Burrow for their first night, assuring them that it was not nice to stay in an empty flat. She had arranged for all the furniture they were to unpack. Luckily she had stayed away from floral designs for the boys' sake.

"Isn't it?" boasted Harry as he followed her backwards through the front door dragging the heavy trunk noisily with him. It collided with the door frame, but no damage was done. She grinned broadly over her shoulder at him briefly, flinging her golden curls out of the way as she did so. (She had woken up that morning wanting her curls back.)

Harry smiled back and crashed across the room with the trunk over to the other suitcases where he dumped it with satisfaction.

"Three down," he said with a sigh of exhaustion, "one to go." He had dragged them up all the four flights of stairs after having lost a game of paper, scissors, rock with Draco and Ron. "I think I'll take a break..." he said breathlessly and slowly sat down on the trunk Hermione assumed to be Draco's. The trunk gave a creak of protest.

"How much does it cost?" Hermione wondered in admiration as she began to take petite steps towards the doorways to her right.

"Between the four of us the price is more than reasonable," he guaranteed her. His "share" was in fact half of the rent but he would pay for it. He could more than afford it and this unknown act of kindness was what he liked to do best.

He leapt up suddenly from the trunk he sat on as if it had bitten him, flinging his arms out to stop him falling backwards. He stared at it warily like it would pounce. Hermione raised her brows amusedly as she watched from by the kitchen door.

"What's wrong?" she asked, managing to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"It started to sink a little too low for my liking," he said cautiously, giving the suitcase a lingering suspicious look. Hermione snorted.

"Trunks are not made to be sat on," she pointed out with a trace of know-it-all. Harry nodded, not willing to argue the fact that he had already known that.

Hermione stared at him fondly as he brought an end to his short break and turned to leave. He sighed resignedly at the thought of pulling another trunk up all those stairs. His green eyes scanned the new surroundings under his black messy hair with a false hope of being provided with a reason to put off going down. Hermione waved sweetly at him and he rolled his eyes despairingly.

A moment later she was left alone in the apartment as he walked out of the door slowly. She stood between the kitchen and the pile of luggage in the center of what was to be their living room. The windows were curtain-less and the light poured in, drowning the spacious white room. There was a thick heat as a result of the season that filled the room too and Hermione decided to make a point of buying air conditioning.

She inhaled deeply. It was the fresh smell of change and a new life. Harry definitely did a great job of finding a place to call theirs. It was in south London, close enough to the leaky cauldron for their convenience. Ginny planned to stay with them for the summer to ensconce herself in her room. She wanted to be certain her room would not be turned into the "spare room".

She wasn't alone for long. Only a few seconds after Harry left two heads peeked around the doorframe. The similar features of Ginny and Ron were the first things to strike her. She watched the amazement on their freckled faces as they saw the place for the first time. Their clear blue eyes, identical in every way, both widened as they took in the images.

They both came into the room, looking around them at their new home.

"Not bad," Ron said, looking to Hermione and Ginny with exaggerated approbation. Ginny was nodding her approval. She had her long straight hair pulled back into red ponytail for convenience and was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt with the slogan "watch out for the quiet ones".

They both trod over the fallen leather trunks in the center of the room over to Hermione to look inside the empty kitchen. Ginny tripped over one of them and almost toppled into Ron but she caught herself in time and saved a nasty accident. Ron gave her a cagey glance and moved away from her, next to Hermione's side. Ginny brushed the bangs out of her eyes.

She looked affronted and glared at the trunks spread across the floor as she got herself a safe distance from them. Hermione smiled at her as Ginny backed away.

"Where's Draco" asked Hermione to Ginny as Ron disappeared into the kitchen behind her. Ginny lifted her hand and pointed a small single finger at the doorway across the room from where she had come as a reply. "What's that mean?"

Ginny didn't have to open her mouth because as soon as the words left Hermione's lips the blonde haired figure of Draco Malfoy glided in. He gave the room a glance but didn't pay it much attention. Hermione furrowed her brows. He wasn't concerned about his new home for an uncertain length of time in the slightest.

He walked numbly around the pile of trunks and approached the two women with a blank expression. He slipped his arm around Ginny's back in a robotic movement. Ginny glanced to the floor seriously as he did so. He seemed to suck the happy atmosphere out of the air with his presence alone. Hermione recalled that he had sufficient reason to be somber. Ever since he had discovered that he was robbed of his security and freedom he had been moping around in his cold way, refraining from joining in conversations. Ginny decided to let him deal with it silently, not wanting to confront him about it.

Hermione solemnly studied the scene before her. Ginny with her head bowed being held by a frigid Draco who was trying to do his duty as Ginny's boyfriend. She hoped that would never happen to her. "That" being at the receiving end of icy forced affection. She knew Draco loved Ginny so she wouldn't say anything; he was just going through a tough time.

She glanced over her shoulder as Ron returned to lighten the mood. She gave him a relieved smile and plucked a curl from her bunch of hair and fiddled with it nervously.

"Not a doxy in sight!" said Ron, pleased. "A nice change from the never ending reoccurrence of them in number 12." He grinned at them and Ginny smiled at her older brother, brightly. Hermione sighed, happy to see Ginny wasn't too miserable.

Just then there was a loud crash from the landing beyond the open front door. There were multiple bangs and thuds followed by an incredibly large groan. All four of them winced simultaneously. It was obvious that Harry had dropped the trunk he had been dragging down the stairs and from the noisy moan they assumed that he had almost got the whole way up the stairs or he had been squashed under its weight if he was at the receiving end.

"Oh, poor Harry," said Ginny, definitely trying to add pity to her tone. She hid an obvious smirk behind her hand. Hermione pursed her lips to hold back her own smirk but both the boys on either side of her snorted in shameless amusement at their friend's misfortune.

"Why doesn't he just use a levitation charm?" asked Draco through Ron's chuckles. There was a muffled thud that floated through the door followed by a disgruntled "ouch". Hermione automatically assumed Harry had kicked the trunk in his wounded rage and only hurt himself further. She allowed herself to laugh silently.

She pulled herself together enough to answer. Composing herself, she put on her typical explanatory air. "Because we are surrounded by muggles and now that we can use magic out of Hogwarts, it is our responsibility to use it properly so the Ministry doesn't have to run around after us like children," Hermione lectured. Draco didn't reply, preferring to keep his mouth shut.

There was a series of loud clunks as Harry attempted once again to drag the final suitcase up the stairs. They created echoes through the building and the four of them turned to watch the door as the sounds got closer.

Harry came through the door, panting slightly and red in the face. The sticky heat of July did not help and there was a shiny sheen of perspiration on his forehead. Black stripes of his hair clung to it meekly. He was walking backwards, pulling the trunk with him and his steps were exhausted and slow.

He finally got the suitcase with the others and shoved it forwards so it fell over. It slammed to the floor and he looked up at them from his clinging black bangs with tired eyes above blotchy cheeks.

"Thanks for the help," he snapped sarcastically and threw himself backwards, collapsing on his work. He fell slowly. "Ouch," he said blankly and the others snickered uncontrollably. Harry had landed on the protruding corner of one of the trunks. He just let loose a sigh and closed his eyes, pointedly ignoring the laughter from above him.

* * *

Hermione was in middle of levitating a chest of drawers across into her bedroom when there was a startling noise that made her loose her concentration and the chest crashed to the floor. It let loose a crack that informed her that the pine had split somewhere. She would fix it later. It sat half way towards the wall in front of her pitifully on the floor. 

She lowered her wand slowly and listened for the sound again. Harry and Ron were in the living room opening boxes of things Mrs. Weasley had supplied and sorting through them. Ginny and Draco had wandered off to who knows where and Hermione was alone in her bedroom. Her bed was pushed up in one corner with a mountain of stuff on it and the noise had seemed to come from it.

Brushing a pile of curls back over her shoulder, she tucked the wand into her pocket as she waited.

"Mrrrraoowrrrr." The ruffled growl was definitely coming from the bed and Hermione immediately recognized it to belong to her fluffy orange familiar.

She rushed over to the bed and tried to unbury her cat. Ron had dumped all of her belongings and boxes on her bed and had obviously mistaken Crookshanks' wicker basket since it was at the bottom of the pile. Hermione had automatically assumed Crookshanks was still at the Burrow.

She shoved the last box off of the basket and it tumbled and bounced to one side on the uncovered mattress. She began to undo the clasps that held her grouchy cat into his prison. All the while he kept growling in discomfort. She wondered exactly how long he had been cooped up before he had decided to complain.

"Poor Crookshanks," she crooned as she opened the swinging door of the cage and the fuzzy bundle leapt out. He brushed past her arm huffily.

With his tail up high, he strutted to the end of the bed to where there was space enough for him to curl up and take a long nap.

* * *

"It's... done?!" gaped Ginny in disbelief. She and the others were all standing back to back, forming a closed circle. They were all staring at the completely furnished apartment. Hermione leaned against Harry's back, who happened to be opposite of her. She was tired, even though they had had magic and the assistance of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. The twins had come by but were of very little help. 

The whole flat had been completely renovated so that it was ready for them to move in. It seemed so quick it was surreal. Granted it had taken more than a full day, resulting in them spending another night at the Burrow.

Hermione was already starting to miss Hogwarts and Severus even though it had been only two days. They had not spoken of him the whole time although Ginny continued to ask her if she was alright every time she sighed.

"It's done," confirmed Ron in satisfaction. "We can sleep now." The muggle lights flared a stinging white that hurt the purebloods' eyes. Outside the bustle of nightlife of London had set in under the clouded black and starless sky of the city. The new red curtains were drawn to hold in the light and Ron let out a lion's yawn to accentuate his point.

"Yes, sleep sounds tempting," agreed Draco. But no one moved, staying stone still, staring at their new home. "Very tempting," he repeated and still no one made a move.

Hermione knew that she wanted to sleep. Well, her aching muscles knew it better than she did. She was the first one to break the circle, pulling herself off of Harry's back with a barely audible groan.

Tomorrow was a going to be a relaxing day. In fact, Hermione decided to make a point of this whole week being relaxing and quiet.

* * *

Hermione rolled over and her sleep-logged body was heavy and slow in following her orders. She peeled her eyelids apart a tiny amount. A shaft of light protruded the crack and stung white hot into her fuzzed brain. She pinched her eyes shut again and shoved her quilt off of her overheated body. Air conditioning was a definite must. She was boiling from trapped body heat by the covers. 

Now the quilt was off of her there was a fresh blast of cooler air. She sighed and tried to go back to sleep now that she wasn't being suffocated.

Ten minutes of totally unproductive, motionless silence Hermione was no closer to sleep than to failing a test. She just lay, sprawled on the warm bed with her cheek squashed against the pillow indelicately and her tangled fluffy hair in a mess around her. The night had put an end to her curls. The curtains were open a crack and the window was open. Noises from the streets below wafted through but a calming breeze did not. The filtered light gave the room a grey-ish red hue (red because of the curtains).

She lifted her head slowly. Some strands of hair clung to her face, and she gazed at the alarm clock on her new bedside table. She frowned at it as she willed it with all her might to un-blur.

Finally the numbers came into focus: 7:37. Not too bad a time to wake up although she could have wished for more sleep. They had finished at about two in the morning last night.

Hermione felt a disturbance and looked to the end of the bed. Standing by her feet was the bandy-legged orange ball of fluff who she adored.

"Morning Crookshanks," she mumbled. Crookshanks in turn greeted her with rubbing his squashed face against the exposed sole of her foot. His long hanging whiskers tickled her but she was too sleepy to even smile.

He walked with tiny steps along side her leg all the way up to her waist then snuggled himself against her stomach. Hermione didn't want to disturb him but she had to get up soon. Her stomach was grumbling with hunger as a result of missing dinner last night. She knew she had missed too many meals this month and that sooner or later she was going to receive a stern talking to from either Mrs. Weasley or Ginny.

"I'm sorry," she apologised to the protesting glare from him as she started to shift. He dug his claws into the new sheet covering the mattress as she moved away and it began to move as well, straightening out the indent made by her body.

...

A shower, breakfast and a change of clothes later, Hermione was wide awake and ready to tackle the world. And by that she intended to slip out to see Severus. She had dreamed of him and that had only spurred her desire to see him again. Her friends were wonderful and entertaining but... she just wanted to be around Severus at the moment. She planned to bring him back to see where they were staying at about lunch time. The others had said they were going to the Burrow again and so she would be free to bring him.

She collected her wand from her room and slipped it in the pocket of her jeans after checking to see every one else was asleep. She returned to the main room with light spirits.

Flipping her once again curly hair out of the way she picked up a quill and piece of parchment from a drawer in the desk beside the front door. She retrieved an ink bottle as well and opened it slowly after shoving the stiff drawer back into place.

She took the eagle quill and dipped the tip into the scarlet ink then, careful to see it didn't drip, brought it over to the parchment. She hesitated. What should she write? She wanted to careful about her choice of words so Harry didn't get offended like he had at Hogsmead. Since then it had been as if he had forgotten entirely that Hermione was even seeing anyone.

She bit her lip then scribbled down quickly the first thing that came to mind in her small neat handwriting. She dipped her quill twice more so she had enough ink to finish her note.

Once it was written she screwed the cap in the ink bottle and pulled out the drawer again to put both it and the quill away. The drawer gave a noisy squeak as struggled to be pulled free. She dropped the two objects with a clatter and slammed the drawer back in.

She positioned the note in an obvious place and looked to the bedrooms once before apparating. There was a sharp "crack" as she suddenly disappeared from view.

* * *

Hermione wandered the Hogwarts halls alone. It was sad to think that she wasn't returning next year. It was even more depressing now that the corridors were empty. Her footsteps echoed off of the stone walls and the paintings were all staring at her as though she had no right to be there. The more staring painted eyes she received, the more and more unsure she became that she was in fact allowed to come back. 

The torches were all dimmed and she did not come across any of the staff. More than once she was sure she saw the shadow of Mrs. Norris trailing behind her. She ignored it more than willingly.

She didn't go straight down to the dungeons opting instead for a brief walk in the direction of the Library. Several heads of suits of armour turned her way as she walked past. They rarely did so.

The coldness and emptiness in the air put her off and she turned back half way. She didn't want to admit to herself she was a little spooked.

She strolled down the hallways in the stillness and took her sweet time in savouring everything she saw. The Medieval atmosphere the castle portrayed really was in a class of its own. This was where the many adventures had taken place, within these thick granite walls.

Almost at the end of the Library corridor (so many memories) she lifted a lazy hand. She held out her fingers and gently let them trail across the wall as she walked. She wished she could stay forever. The cold stone was rough under her fingers.

"Hermione?" a familiar woman's voice startled her as she had been walking leisurely. She started with surprise and halted sharply. "Why are you here?" Lowering her hand on the wall, she placed the voice as her favourite Professor's – well... second favourite.

She turned slowly and confirmed her suspicions. Around a corner she had passed to her other side was the familiar features of Professor McGonagall. She was standing still like a hawk watching Hermione and looking totally baffled, in her dark green robes.

Hermione smiled at her nervously. She was allowed to be here, right? She gave her a faux confident glance, hoping her brown eyes didn't reveal the better of her.

"I'm here to see Severus," she said without wavering in the slightest, even when she realized that that did not account for why she was in the Library hall. McGonagall's frown deepened and her eyes narrowed in disbelieving confusion.

"Oh," she said slowly. Hermione had never seen her elder professor so lost before. She looked as though she would regret the next words coming from her mouth. "So am I to gather from that that the Graduation... stunt... was not a hoax?" Hermione felt her flesh go clammy. So that must have been part of the reason for her lack of accusing glares. People were convinced it had been a hoax. Hermione concluded she didn't care anymore.

"Most certainly not!" she said a little too harshly. She was sorry a moment later. McGonagall was her nicest professor who she respected the most (excluding Severus, but that was understandable) and she looked up to her. McGonagall looked more stunned than apologetic. Her wrinkled face sagged with the burden of knowledge.

"Oh," she repeated coldly. Her old eyes observed Hermione carefully from under her witches' hat. Hermione raised an innocent brow in return and folded her arms roughly across her chest. For an instant it seemed as though they were on the verge of an uncomfortable silence.

"Don't think it wasn't a shock to us too," she added, trying to make McGonagall feel better. McGonagall nodded as if it were obvious but looked a great deal more relieved. She glanced to the end of the hall before back into Hermione's eyes.

"He's down in the dungeons, as usual," she told her for her benefit. Hermione had guessed as much anyway but nodded her thanks to the aged witch. Several brown curls fell over her shoulder and she ignored them.

She unfolded her arms and turned to leave. She gave the bewildered teacher a lingering look before spinning around and striding over the stairs that were close by. She walked down the first few and hesitated. Taking a deep breath she looked back and gave McGonagall a grateful smile. She had been Hermione's mentor for most of her years here.

"Bye," she called over her shoulder as she was about to disappear down the steps. McGonagall watched her leave, not moving from her spot. Hermione had been Hogwarts' most promising student, willing to put everything she had into her work. She automatically assumed the same for her love. She only hoped Severus could fully appreciate what he had.

...

When she opened the heavy wooden door slowly by the handle she peered around it to see if he were in his classroom. The cold half-lit room was empty. The chairs at their desks sat silently under the shadow of the grand desk by the blackboard. Severus was not at the desk.

The storeroom door however was wide and Hermione could not see inside because of its darkness. She crept into the room and took a path behind the back row of desks to get to the open door. Passing the backs of the desks, Hermione could see memories so clearly they may have been real. Neville standing, shivering, on his chair to get away from the potion that had melted his cauldron and the class struggling to get as far away from it as possible, Severus rolling his eyes at the front of the class before bearing down on Neville and lazily cleaning up the mess.

Hermione had to blink to bring herself back to now. The ghosts of her old class dissipated and for one long moment she stared at the empty desks willing them to come back. Such images were a comfort and now that they were gone it brought back the realisation that she was never going to be sitting in her seat, hand waving pointlessly in the air, as she patiently hoped to be picked to answer. But those days had melted into oblivion.

She leaned on the back of the nearest chair with her hands.

Another ghostly image appeared; a single one. Severus striding through the paths created by the chairs, his cloak and robes billowed out and around him as he would stop and pass looks of distaste to students doing poor jobs of their work. His black eyes - hollow and empty – or so she had once supposed. Another character entered the scene: herself. Sitting at her desk, no... more like lying on her desk. She had her head resting on her folded arms and her curly hair spilling around her. She could see the shadow of Severus freeze and for a moment look totally blank and caught off guard before putting on a sneer of seething disbelief.

Slowly the other members of the class began to come into focus in her mind. Abandoning their tests, all of them stared blatantly at her. But what she pictured the clearest in her mind's eye was the image of Severus trying to look furious when in fact she knew he was not. She could not be certain, maybe he had been but she had a strong suspicion that he had felt no particular desire to strangle her. The confusion of feelings in her at that time had been raging out of control – plus the fact she was so sleepy had impaired her ability to see that.

He must have felt something then, she reasoned, because he had let her stay for a long time after he had finished marking her test. Ginny had pointed it out to her that he had been either praising or advising her, neither of which he was obliged to do.

It wasn't very exciting but she realized they had their very own forbidden love story. She let her fingers stroke over the texture of the wood of the chair as she thought. The torchlight flickered over her face and revealed a small smile that she was unaware of.

Was this the end, she wondered. Was this the happily ever after part of the story? She let go of the chair and stood straight. Images filled her head of her being her own Cinderella riding off to the castle in a horse driven carriage for her new life. In some ways it was true. Hogwarts was a fantasy castle and beautiful to look upon. And her fairytale contained magic of a different kind but magic all the same.

She looked around the room again, this time with misted eyes. Her imagination was running away with her, she decided. She had to see Severus and images of the past could be delaying her future.

With her eyes still clouded with images of old times and happily-ever-afters she began to walk over to the storeroom door at a leisurely pace. Her smile broadened when she spied the blackness filling the small room. The thick fog of darkness that refused to be parted by eyes alone brought back her best memory.

She paused once she was standing right before the barrier of black. With a dazed grin she strolled forward and was swallowed by it. She didn't mind the dark. She knew where everything was perfectly without the need for a light. The flood of smells filled her senses immediately and she recognised a few of them. The rest were just spicy and she let herself enjoy them without thinking about which they were.

She crossed the small space quickly, pictures of Severus vivid in her mind. The black door at the end was invisible to the new eye. She found the handle with no trouble at all and paid it extra care so she did not make a noise when she opened it. If Severus was there, she wanted to be able to watch him before he knew she was there.

She wanted to watch the calm relaxed look on his face while he read or worked. She couldn't describe what was coming over her. Actually she could in one word: love. She admitted she was becoming more and more like she had feared: love-sick and obsessive. She knew she could be obsessive but when she had seen Lavender and Pavarti acting like fools over ridiculous crushes she had promised herself not to become like that. But this was nothing like that. This was different and to her tastes precisely.

The door was thankfully silent as she pushed it open softly. Fresh orange light exploded through the gap and lighted the storeroom enough to see where things where. Hermione blinked to adjust to it then continued to apply pressure to the door.

The first thing she could see was the maroon leather couch from over the left arm and it was empty, so was the single green high-backed chair beside it, facing the fire. She opened the door further with a disappointed frown but kept to silence.

Her disappointed frown melted away when she spied Severus, who had not heard her come in, standing over his workbench. There was a potion bubbling over a low fire next to him and on the desk were half chopped ingredients and vials of unmixed liquids of many colors. He was standing at the desk with his back to her, holding a vial of crystal clear emerald up to the light coming from the fire. He was examining it carefully to check its consistency and signs of slight imperfection.

Standing black in against the backdrop cosy enough to be worthy of Dumbledore, he had his full concentration on his work and his work alone.

He lowered the vial, deeming it suitable for use. He leaned over and poured it into the cauldron of swirling creamy bubbles and immediately it changed from a thin pale liquid to a dark grey still liquid which could not be called liquid anymore because it was the consistency of tar or honey. He did not stir it deliberately and returned to slicing a half finished piece of dandelion root. Hermione remembered the use of dandelion root was purely for taste alone, seeing as it had no magical properties. And she recalled that when cooked or boiled it tasted much like a very dilute caramel.

Hermione moved forward from the doorway she had been frozen in. She had been hypnotised by his movements alone, now she wanted to see his face. She moved the door into an almost closed position so as not to make a sound. Then she crept around behind him to his right hand side. He still did not appear to notice her because she was behind his shoulder, just beyond his range of sight.

His eyes were focused and sharp, blackly examining his work as he completed it. Nothing but perfection was permitted in his mind. She quietly stood from behind him, looking past him at his work as he counted out the fifteen most perfect slices although Hermione failed to see a difference between them.

He dropped them into the cauldron, one at a time and Hermione watched his precision with fascination as he waited exactly seven seconds between letting go of each one. As each one landed on the thick potion and slowly sunk out of sight the color began to turn again to dark blue and by the time he had added the last it was a light sky blue. It once again began to bubble, as a sign it was now thin again.

Hermione's brown eyes became unfocused as she found herself slipping away from concentration. He reached a slender hand right in front of her and picked up another vial but did not look back her way.

"You can assist me if you wish," his silky tone startled her. She looked at the back of his head in surprise. He still had not turned around and was pouring three drops of the other liquid into the cauldron. Each drop fizzled in contact with the sky blue liquid and a small amount of steam rose each time.

"You knew I was here?" she asked with disenchantment lining her voice, pouting exaggeratedly. She saw the edge of a smile form on his thin lips.

"All the time," he purred as he placed the vial back in its stand. Hermione watched him do so, mesmerised. He let go the thin glass tube delicately and finally turned to look at her, keeping the confident one-sided smile. His black eyes watched her from between the raven curtains of hair, tenderly.

She felt her love growing and was surprised it could do so but it was. She didn't smile back but watched him intently with a relaxed expression. She just wanted him. No prince charming for her, thank you very much! Severus Snape held enough grace to overshadow him any day. And besides, those ridiculous unrealistic images were too sickly for her tastes.

She went up to him and put her arms around him. She felt his fingers rest at the base of her back in return. The soft tingling feeling was fresh and welcomed. She briefly squeezed him just because she wanted to.

He leaned his face close to hers and Hermione inhaled sharply. It still felt so... intoxicating.

"Hermione," he said quietly, just above a whisper. Her name was still relatively new to him and he liked to play with it. She shivered with pleasure. Somehow her name always sounded so enticing when she heard it from him.

"I missed you," she mumbled. She took a hand and lifted it to his face to brush aside the sheet of black hair. He waited patiently as she lifted a finger to his cheek and gently pushed the fine black hair aside. The tips of her fingers stroked his face accidentally. Hermione gave him a small smile. How she would have reacted half a year ago to seeing the future... It probably would have given her a heart attack.

He pulled her closer still so she was pressed up against him and kissed her lightly on the lips. Hermione felt like she had melted from the touch and that if he kissed her again she would slowly turn into nothing more than a satisfied puddle. She let herself relax against him and wanted to cry out in protest when he broke the kiss.

He looked her carefully in the eye to check that nothing was wrong but the cryptic way he studied her was misleading and Hermione thought there was nothing behind it.

"You came soon," he stated, his face still very close to hers and his fingers still gently resting on her lower back. She stared up at him with misty eyes. He mistook the mistiness as a negative thing.

"We finished soon," she replied shortly. She wanted to kiss him again; it was never enough when he kissed her.

"Are you OK?" he asked quietly with his frustratingly enigmatic way. Hermione picked up that something was amiss from the seriousness with which he asked her such a light question. His black eyes were searching hers and she returned the look with a baffled frown. She didn't want to pull back from him, but she did just the same.

She rested her hands on his chest as she leaned away to read his expression better. She gathered no more from his features than she would have from the other end of a field.

"Why?" She didn't want to ask 'what's wrong?' unless he skirted the subject too obviously.

"You didn't come quickly because something was the matter?" he was surprisingly blunt at the same time as avoiding saying outright what "the matter" was. Hermione was confused further and it showed in the way she studied him. What had caused him to think in such a way?

She pushed herself back further away from him by the hands on his chest and let her expression reveal her emotions of bewilderment.

"I came because I wanted to see you," she bit back offensively but not so much that she was angry with him. "What would make you think something wasn't right?" she asked him straight. He would have to tell her the truth or lie outright and she trusted he wouldn't.

"It is of no importance yet," he told her calmly as he let go of her. Hermione felt a lot less secure without the feeling of his fingers and also felt irritated that he had managed to dodge her deliberate question. But she wouldn't give up so easily.

"It is of importance to me," she snapped. Realising she was reacting a little too strongly, she dropped her sour glare. He just watched her openly from their small distance apart. Although his expression was the most unmasked she could still not read it. She knew that no one could but wished that she, because of how much she loved him, could be the only one to finally crack the code.

The cauldron next to them suddenly let out fizzling and crackling noises of protest from neglect. Severus reacted immediately and adequately, stepping away from Hermione to attend to his work that was on the fine line of being ruined. Hermione blushed guiltily as he turned away and smoothly picked up a flask of murky, lumpy brown mixture from the desk.

He measured out the correct amount into a measuring jug so quickly that it was a miracle none of the stuff was spilled. Hermione watched in fascination once again at the attentiveness he paid his potion. It had been her fault, in a way, that he had let it sit too long. As he added some shredded leaves of unknown origin into the lumpy mixture which had been properly measured, the potion fizzled impatiently. Little sparks slowly started cropping up each time a bubble burst.

Hermione moved closer to the workbench to observe. She stood next to Severus, fingers balancing on the edge of the desk and leaning forward with a look of interest as he worked beside her. The fire bathed his face in orange glow and he tipped the jug of mud colored water into the cauldron.

Hermione jumped as on contact the potion gave off a huge thick mushroom cloud of smoke into the air. It rose slowly and climbed towards the ceiling. Her eyes followed it wondrously. The fine liquid in the cauldron stopped fizzing and began to swirl of itself clockwise rapidly.

"It's alright?" she asked cautiously, she knew how to make potions correctly and which ingredients held which properties. But she did not know whether or not small changes or delays in their creation would affect the outcome. That was something that simply came out of experience. She took her gaze away from the cloud in the air.

He looked at her with an unreadable glance and nodded his black haired head. It did not make her expression any lighter; in fact it darkened as she finally placed the potion he was working on.

"Why are you making a pain preparatory potion?" she said slowly and with a coldness creeping down her spine as she finally caught a glint of surprise in his eyes. He had more hoped than expected her not to recognise what he was making. He looked away from her eyes and Hermione decided it may be better if she did not receive an answer.

She wanted to reach out and touch his arm but something held her back, telling her that he may start if she did. His black eyes, clear as crystal were unfocused and she felt he was slipping away from her temporarily as he finally was at a loss for words. Hermione looked away to the bookshelves for comfort that she wouldn't find in his face. If she wanted to leave this uncomfortably scary subject alone she would have to change the subject.

"But why," he voice wavered before she regained a steady control on it, "did you think something might be wrong?" She kept her watch on the books but felt his stare just the same. He was grateful for her diversion from the last question but she obviously failed to realise that this question was not much better.

"Nothing is?" he prodded, still refusing to reply. He busied himself with bending to open a drawer to pull out a corked flask of dragon's blood.

"No," she retorted with a stubborn shortness that demanded an answer. Severus, meanwhile, straightened with the container in hand and began searching for something else in the crowd of bottles balanced on the desktop. His long black sleeves fell over his hands and his black hair hid his face from view.

Hermione folded her arms across her chest as a gesture of impatience but her countenance divulged no such feeling. Severus picked out a bright orange from the midst of the bottles and did not look at her as he began to add it to the potion a drop at a time. His slender hand balanced the container perfectly therefore he did not need a pipette.

"Then there is nothing to worry about," he reasoned coolly, keeping his steady concentration on the juice he was adding. Hermione watched the side of him as if she didn't know what to think. "For now you don't need to worry," he was repeating himself she noticed. It was the way a person talked when trying to assure themselves as well as the person they were speaking to. "But I automatically prepare for the worst because events are unpredictable," his voice regained the certainty and a shadow of authority.

"That is more understandable," Hermione said and Severus turned to glance at her with grateful pride. "But-" the gratefulness evaporated, "-that does not explain to me what it was you feared..." she paused to watch his reactions which, she noted, successfully hid his tenseness. "However I won't ask because you obviously don't want to tell me. I trust your judgement if you feel it would be better that way." The way she accented the word "trust" was deliberate.

He nodded, "I appreciate your respect," he told her truthfully as he placed the bottle back on the table. "Some things are better not known."

"I can't think of any examples but I'll take your word for it," Hermione smiled a little and Severus observed her out of the corner of his eye as he continued to pay the majority of his attention to his potion.

* * *

Ok- had to delete my old author note and write a new one for the... um... circumstances I am now facing.

Brace yourselves for bad news....

My laptop (conataining all my works both published and unpublished) has had some sort of breakdown. It refuses to start up and I dont know whats wrong. I appears to be a problem in the hard drive and if that is the case I may lose all my stuff (and my computer). This is really bad. I have a large unpublished story (that is really bad however I want it to remind myself of my previous attempts and to compare with) an extra chapter of chance (never to be seen but I need it all the same) the first chapter of electric shivers (which I was actually not totally embarassed by - I have to say only your reviews actually made me keep my word on finishing this story because the further I look back the more embarassed I get). And thats not the worst. I have both chapter 18 and a large hunk of chapter 19 which I did not save onto a floppy and are now floating in oblivion somewhere in my hard drive. That took forever to write - thick stuff - and I am panicking about how to get it back because i am NOT prepared to rewrite it.

I am going now to a repareman to see if he can fix it but I may loose all my works (lots of stuff that is not on ff - including DS!)

You're all so nice!

Luv, Snakecharmer.


	16. Betrayal's face

Chapter 16: Betrayal's face.

* * *

So far: 

Hermione, Harry, Ron and Draco have moved into their new home: a fair sized comfortable flat in south London. Hermione went to see Severus the day after they were finished moving in and crossed McGonagall's path. She was stunned to find that Hermione had not been joking about being with Severus and blankly points her in the right direction. Hermione finds Severus in his study... making a pain preparatory potion (which prevents pain from affecting concentration or hurting too badly, by the way). He asks if the reason she came so early was a result of something being wrong, which confuses Hermione but she allows the matter to slip.

* * *

Severus stood outside of the large wooden door that he had countless times before. Dumbledore's office held many memories, some bad, some good. With a brief glance over his shoulder at the moving staircase melting into the stone floor he stood on repeatedly, he sighed with reluctance. He didn't exactly know what he was going to tell the old man. It wasn't as if he was bringing the most cheerful news to the table. 

He lifted a hesitant hand and rapped sharply with his knuckle. The sound was hollow and loud and he lowered his hand to wait for a reply. In a comforting motion, he slipped his hand into his large black pocket for his wand. His fingers found the shaft of ebony immediately. He may insult all wands in his classroom but he could never dampen the importance they held.

"Come in." The cheerful words floated through the wood and Severus resisted the urge to sneer. There was nothing to be happy about. Not at the moment, but Albus could hardly know that yet.

For a moment he made no move to open the door, standing in the dimness with a reproachful look at the door. An instant later he pulled himself together. In a fast sweeping motion he moved forward and threw the door open wide before striding through it. It swung back on its hinges and threatened to slam the wall behind it as he passed through.

Dumbledore looked up from his desk in the center of the oval room with the twinkle that so irritated him. He watched the black clad figure of Severus rapidly approaching his desk at which he was writing. Severus did not stop to close the door behind him, leaving it dangling half open in his wake.

"Ah Severus, a delightful surprise," he said in his warm way, holding his hands out in a motion for him to sit. "Always the one for dramatic entrances." He beamed at his employee, pushing the corners of his beard up his cheeks. The gold pendulum ticked incessantly all the while and Severus eyed it coldly. He did not humour Dumbledore with a reply.

He was agitated with a lot on his mind, resulting in an annoyance for all things around him. Taking Dumbledore up on his offer he sat in one of the armchairs facing the desk. The room was considerably lacking something... he couldn't place it.

Then there was a loud squawk from that noisy infernal fowl Dumbledore was so dearly attached to. He no longer found anything to be missing and turned his gaze away from the screeching mustard colored bird squatting on its perch. His rash judgements on the bird made him blind to its beauty and soft sweet singing chirps. He automatically considered the sounds scratchy shrieks and the red and gold plumage the color of foul food.

Dumbledore raised a silver eyebrow at Severus to encourage him to speak. Severus shot a quick glare at the bird as it flew over him, its tail smartly striking the top of his head, and went to sit on its master's shoulder.

"I was called away again last night," he started unsurely. His choice of wording was very careful. Dumbledore's face lost its light and teasing smile and he leaned back in his chair, eyeing Severus seriously. The phoenix protested with a choked rasp (a short twitter in actual fact) and Severus glowered at the bird briefly once more. That thing was distracting.

"I see," said Dumbledore with absolute gravity. "I was under the impression it may have been about Miss Granger..." There was a moment were a small spark of something returned to his eyes but disappeared as fast as it had come. Severus straightened in his chair, refusing to rest against the back of it.

"It is," Severus said with a tiny trace of grief, about as much as Dumbledore thought possible for him. Dumbledore frowned behind his gold-rimmed, half-moon spectacles. He let his old shrivelled hands lay on the desk and his fingers curled loosely. Under his hands was a letter to whom Severus did not know but letters from Dumbledore were always of importance. He automatically assumed it was to his precious pet (and friend of Hermione), Harry Potter who had just left his watchful eye for good.

There was a stillness that filled the air as the two men stared at each other seriously and the older of the two did not know what to make of Severus' comment.

"Continue," he said quietly. He nodded a little to the teacher in front of him who, he observed, had a peculiar love of black.

"I was summoned to a meeting last night," he repeated and closed his eyes with a small sigh before proceeding, "and they have moved their interest away from young Malfoy at the present time, though I cannot say for how long." He almost hoped for Dumbledore to interrupt and ask the relevance so he would have a reason to lash out and snap at the only person who had stood by him in his worst time... other than Stella. But he did no such thing, sitting against the back of his chair with a hideous bird clinging to his old shoulder.

He nodded as a sign that he should go on. Severus' black eyes flickered uncertainly over the expectant features of the old man who loved to play children's games with people's minds.

"The new topic of high interest... was Hermione and I," it was getting hard for him to say each word because he had not fully come to terms with what had happened that night himself. "They seemed to take a great deal of time discussing and prying into exactly how it came to be. Hours of my life where lost to the never-ending questions of Lucius Malfoy. He seemed to take a deep fascination, stronger than anyone else's. The Dark Lord was more interested in Hermione's intelligence and skills that have never before been seen at Hogwarts..." he trailed off. He had much more to say waiting on the tip of his tongue but it was unlike him to ramble. He was usually brutally blunt and for some reason could not bring himself to be so now.

"Severus," said the quiet calming voice of Dumbledore, "I know I have never had to ask this from you before but can you please get to the point?" Severus looked up with a sneer that came purely from natural defensive reactions. Dumbledore was not fussed by the deadly look. His sharp black eyes showed his surprise at himself.

"Very well," he said coldly. He didn't ever want to disrespect Dumbledore but he knew his boundaries and he was permitted to talk icily when he wished. "They want her." Once he had said the words and they were out there for him to hear they sounded so much worse.

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore was looking more and more concerned. His silver-white beard twitched but there was no smile behind it.

"They want her to come to the next meeting," as he said it he sunk backwards into his chair in an uncharacteristic movement. Dumbledore's blue eyes looked him up and down and the sadness in them forced Severus to look to the window. The thin arched window with a criss-crossed frame had a view of the forest from above. The trees held more reassurance but then again reassurance was not helpful in situations like these where sense played the better part.

"Why?" said Dumbledore cautiously. It was a simple question with many grave possible answers.

"The dark circle is all about connections, as you know," he nodded Dumbledore's way then rested his head against the back of the chair. The aged man watched him closely, noting his despondency. "Hermione is very intelligent. Her knowledge is highly valued. They want her as a supporter because she can be called upon for many things."

"The friend of Harry is another thing you forgot to mention," added Dumbledore. Severus grudgingly nodded.

"And that," he agreed. "But what should I do? They wish for me to bring her to the next meeting, whenever that may be. I cannot warn her because she is not skilled in Occlumency and there is too little time to teach her. There is still room for doubt of my alliance, is there not?" his voice was as close to urgent as it could ever be.

"There is, I suppose," Dumbledore said thoughtfully with a frown. "I fail to see a satisfying way around this."

"If she is confused then the dark lord will probably find it normal and think it was intentional on my part. If not I can explain that she would not come if I told her-"

"Are you suggesting that you take her to the meeting?" he cut off Severus sharply with astonishment. His attachment to Hermione had appeared strong and even if it wasn't he did not think Severus would so willingly give up an innocent.

"If I don't they will hunt her down most likely. Unless she appears on their side they will consider her a hindrance and danger to my loyalty. All that need happen is for her to sit out one confusing meeting then they will consider her on their side. That will satisfy them and then all can be explained to her."

"You have a horribly reasonable point," he said sadly. The phoenix on his shoulder let out an untimely shrill screech of pleasure. Severus ignored it. "But you aren't considering how Hermione might find this traumatic..."

Severus glared at the words that stung worse than insults could ever. His black eyes formed slits. "Are you implying I do not hold her best interests at heart?" he hissed icily. It was all he could do to restrain himself. Dumbledore was on his side he had to remind himself. Dumbledore smiled softly in his wise superior way. He shook his head and Severus unclenched his fists.

"You're playing with fire, Severus," Dumbledore said seriously, eyeing him incredulously, "No, I'd say more like poison than fire."

"You forget, headmaster," Severus said with a falsely satisfied smirk, "Poisons happen to be my speciality."

* * *

Hermione had come up with an idea that night before she went to sleep and the very next morning, as soon as she was ready to drag herself out of bed, she went to see Severus. 

Smiling the whole time she walked up to the castle through the stretch of grounds she had a plan for what she wanted to do that day. She hoped Severus wouldn't mind leaving the comfort of his dungeons but she knew that if she asked correctly he would not.

She trundled down the corridors and this time did not cross the paths of any other old teachers, of which she was impartial because she liked her professors very much but her desire to see Severus put off any idea of delay.

He had not been asleep, which was expected. She had a suspicion he hardly ever slept. He was writing a letter which Hermione remarked on immediately. He explained that it was to the only other surviving Snape – his elder brother he hardly ever spoke with. She did not go as far as to ask to read it (though she wished to) and he told her he would put it off till later.

She did not inform him of her plans entirely but she did tell him that she was going to buy him a present. He just arched his brows and let her lead him to Hogsmead.

"Am I to know the nature of my gift?" he asked, lightly sardonic. They were walking arm in arm, close to each other down the cobbled streets of Hogsmead that were so familiar. The town was much emptier than she remembered because it was free of students. She clung to his arm happily as he watched her actions for clues.

The sun beat down on them in its August way and after a while Hermione had offered to carry his cloak. He had gladly taken her up on the offer and now the folded black material hung over the arm that was not in his.

On either side of them the crooked houses tilted and rested against each other and on their level the shops were empty and waiting. Hermione leaned her curly haired head against his shoulder and he willingly allowed himself to become her support as they kept their pace down to a relaxed stroll in the narrow streets.

"It should be extra company for you," she said cryptically. Severus frowned at the hint. It didn't sound such a wonderful gift in his opinion. Hermione chuckled in amusement at the disappointed face he pulled. She squeezed his arm playfully. "Don't worry. I think you will like it."

"You're not sure?" he teased, feigning disapproval. Hermione ignored him gracefully. She looked around her and spied the shop they were to go into then smiled.

"We're here," she informed him. He looked around him expectantly, trying to judge which shop was the most likely choice of hers. She noticed how his eyes automatically jumped the pet shop. Her smile grew broad as he looked at her questioningly.

"Where?" he asked, looking back down at Hermione leaning on his shoulder.

"Right there," she said, grinning as she pointed to the right. Past her finger was the pet shop just to the right as they were approaching it. She tried to not to laugh when she saw the look of surprise and horror in his quick black eyes when he saw where she was pointing.

"You're not serious?" he said unsurely. Hermione nodded vigorously as Severus' face went uncomfortably blank. He didn't want to offend Hermione but he really did not want a... "pet". If he were to be gracious he would be lumbered with the thing for good. But he didn't want to upset Hermione.

She made him stop just in front of the display window in which you could see into the shop. He halted beside her, all the while giving her a baffled stare. Hermione ignored him. One of his problems was he didn't know what was good for him. She scanned the cages she had looked into before anxiously then frowned.

Severus noticed her frown and he copied her automatically. "Something wrong?" Hermione ignored him again as she kept searching for something unknown to him. He looked through the window in an attempt to see what she was trying to. All he could see were aisles piled high filled with noisy creatures.

The inside looked murky and unclean and he eyed it with distaste before Hermione pulled on his arm and led him in the direction of the entrance. He grudgingly allowed her to lead him away and wondered if she had had the correct amount of sleep or had taken some sort of drug that morning that made her loose some of her sensibility. It should be plain: he did not want to care for an irritating pet.

She lifted a hand and shoved the dirt-covered door open smartly. He followed her through it at her side and a bell tinkled as the door opened and closed behind them. As soon as they were in the dank shop a pungent smell reached his nose and filled his senses. He resisted the overwhelming instinct to gag. Hermione seemed totally oblivious to it, he noticed. It was the sour and acrid smell of animal droppings. Another thing he did not wish for in a pet.

Hermione began to tug on his arm and even more grudgingly than before and he allowed her to pull him through the fog of stench to the counter at the back of the shop. Behind said counter was a stout looking woman in a dusty floral dress and a mountain of bright orange hair piled on top of her head. Behind her round thick rimmed glasses were kind eyes and she was beaming at her only customers of the morning.

"May I help you?" she said cheerfully and Severus did all he could not to sneer at her over-sweetness.

Hermione just returned her smile brightly and tugged harder when Severus began to resist. "Actually yes," Hermione began. She gave up on Severus who was being childish and stubborn and let go of his arm. They stood in the center of the aisle across from the sitting woman grinning at them with filthy teeth. "I was looking in the window about a week and a half ago and I saw a black cat. Where is it now?"

Severus' intense gaze snapped on her sharply. A black cat? It wasn't as bad as he had anticipated. He had no problem with cats but neither did he particularly enjoy their company. But he couldn't judge as he had never owned one. Hermione smiled up at him but he was watching the woman's face behind the counter which had twisted in a superior smirk. He shot her a sneer simply because he did not like her.

"Ah... Decimus... feisty little creature I'll give you that..." Severus furrowed his brows at the woman with the red crows nest. Did she have false teeth? He couldn't be sure. "One moment." But the name of the cat he had to admit was a tasteful Latin name. Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (Juvenal) – a well known man of his time. But what she meant by feisty... if it meant hyperactive he would have to tell Hermione, as nicely as possible, that he really could not handle such a thing.

The woman at the desk began to move and shuffled away from her counter leisurely. Her character frustrated and irritated him and he could not understand Hermione's ability to put up with this sickly sweet feigning old bat. Hermione next to him was still holding his cloak and waiting patiently with a good-natured smile as the woman disappeared into the next aisle.

Hermione then turned to him with a nervous smile lighting her soft features after she had gone. Severus found her smile to be dangerous because as he watched her he swore to accept as many pets as she would give him.

"I know you said you didn't have much love for creatures with more than two legs but I thought this cat was special..." she looked up at him guiltily as she trailed off. If she was going to say anymore it was cut off by the scuffling sounds of the floral old bat's return. Hermione was unaware of his dislike of the woman, luckily.

Eventually the short, stout woman came around into view in the dimness. The smell, Severus noticed, disappeared after time. In her podgy hands was the fine handle of a metal cage. Inside the crossed silver bars was the shadow of pitch black cat curled up with its fur prickled up. Its ears were squashed back against its head and it was glaring up at the towering figure of the woman carrying him. A low rumbling growl sounded from deep in its throat.

She hobbled over to the counter and put the cage on its dirty surface.

Hermione took his arm once more and hauled him up to the counter. Severus was reluctant because he did not want to approach the woman. The cat did not look too pleased to see him either, even though most of its scowls were directed at the woman. Severus heaved a sigh then wished he hadn't because he had caught a mouth full of stench.

They stopped in front of the desk and their attention was directed at the growling cat, despite the annoying stare from the woman who was trying to read their exact reaction to the "feisty" cat.

Severus raised a sharp brow as the cat looked up at them with slit eyes and immediately stopped growling and glaring. It lifted its pointed ears and stopped shaking its tail in uneven movements. Its shoulders un-hunched and it looked up at them with mild curiosity. Hermione had looked as the she would change her mind about the cat until it stopped its angry sounds.

"May I open the cage?" Hermione asked politely, looking to the woman standing behind the counter who was watching her customers faces avidly. She seemed unsure of the proposal.

"At your own risk," she replied nervously. Hermione's brows shot up and she glanced at Severus unsurely who did not know what to make of it all before moving closer.

She put out a hand and hesitated as her fingers touched the clasp as though she was waiting for the cat to suddenly growl at her. On the contrary the cat watched her hand with a light and unruffled interest. It had strong olive green eyes with its black pupils slicing across them hazardously. Hermione bit her bottom lip and Severus watched as she cautiously undid the catch on the top of the cage.

She had not completely finished opening it when the cat, in one smooth movement, leapt out onto the desk. Hermione jumped and withdrew her hand sharply as the cat landed gracefully on its soft silent paws on the counter. It looked up at the two new people with a striking air of superiority with its vivid eyes. Standing delicately poised with its black tail proudly high and its back arched perfectly it did not move for a long moment as the three humans watched it closely.

"Good Decimus," sung the woman with orange hair. She regained her courage and took a step closer. With a squashy forced smile she held out a tentative hand to stroke the elegant feline's head.

But as soon as her hand was too close for the cat's comfort he turned his eyes sharply on the woman it hated and its eyes once again formed deadly slits. Its fur began to ruffle up and it crouched down to escape her touch. Flattening its ears to his head he pulled back his lips viciously into a snarl as it let loose a long hiss.

She pulled her hand back hurriedly as if she valued its safety.

Severus could not help chortle. The cat obviously despised the woman and he found himself already attached to the creature ever so slightly. The woman looked up in disbelief at Severus' chuckle and Hermione shot him a disapproving look which he returned with a consoling smirk.

He found enough desire in him to hold out his hand in a similar manner as the woman to discover its reactions to him. Hermione watched nervously. This cat seemed a lot more vicious than she remembered but surprisingly Severus seemed to approve. His slender hand parted the murkiness as he paused within inches of the cat's head. His black eyes flickered over the poised shape of the proud creature to read its reactions. It was not looking irritated in the slightest as it kept its sharp eyes (sharp enough to challenge Severus himself) on his hand. In fact it looked as though it was waiting for Severus to stroke him.

Hermione seemed to relax beside him as he found it safe to touch the feline's head. As his fingers stroked the softness of the fur, for one long moment it appeared as if Decimus would just stare at him coldly but to the surprise of Hermione and the woman (but somehow not Severus) the cat took a bold step forward and nudged his hand in a friendly gesture.

Severus honoured the cat with a smirk and the cat in turn honoured him with a soft silky purr.

Hermione was looking relieved at the behaviour of the animal that she had seriously doubted. She thought about it before she held out her hand in a similar way to see if the choosy thing would take to her as well. It studied her slim fingers with an unreadable expression but when close enough reached itself forward delicately to sniff the tips of her fingers.

It continued to purr as Hermione scratched its ear shortly and she was comforted that it had taken to her. It seemed that maybe it only hated the woman who was standing aside looking gobsmacked. She had never imagined the refined creature capable of love before now.

"We'll take him," Hermione said, looking to the stunned woman with a broad grin.

* * *

"I never would have thought it but I actually am fond of this cat..." Severus said as he watched Decimus rising and falling with Hermione's breaths on her stomach. She was laying on the red couch with her head in his lap once again and a book in hand. Decimus had taken an immediate liking to his new surroundings and his new freedom. 

Hermione lowered her book and laid it across her chest before looking up at him with a pleased smile. Her brown locks spilled over his knees and hung to the ground. Severus' thick green book lay to one side and he looked at Hermione and his new companion.

"I knew he was the right familiar for you," Hermione boasted with a sweet smile. "I saw him in Hogsmead last time and he caught my eye immediately." Severus did not question it. She was remarkable in so many ways that her snap judgement being so perfect was no surprise. Hermione sucked in a deep breath and the furry black weight on her belly let out a soft satisfied purr. It kept its eyes closed and its head on its paw with his tail wrapped around his body neatly as it created the gratified drone.

"Decimus said a few wise things in his time, did he not?" Severus commented as he looked at the two of them.

"Probitas laudatur et alget – honesty is praised and neglected," recited Hermione effortlessly. Severus, despite his awareness of Hermione's wide range of knowledge, was moderately surprised and impressed.

"You are familiar with Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis?" he asked. Hermione looked up at him from his warm lap cradling her head.

"By the name of Juvenal but I know little of him," she said and glanced at the cat curled up atop her. "I didn't take much interest in those Roman figures," she added with finality. The fire burned bright to her side and on her other side was the thick wall of black robes. She was to spend the rest of the day in his comforting presence and was in not rush to return to her new home to her friends.

"I can understand," he told her reassuringly. He did understand but he himself had taken a very strong interest in the famous roman characters and their opinions.

They both stopped talking for the moment as Hermione picked up her heavy book carefully off her chest and continued to read and Severus followed suit with his own discarded book. And for a long while the two (and a half) of them sat in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company.

* * *

Alone. In the cold of the dungeons Severus was not in his study, not in his classroom but in his office. He reflected that he wasn't actually alone. Decimus was perched on the corner of his desk with his tail hanging over the edge and he was watching his new master's every move intently with his black slits. Behind him were shelves with jars with objects of little interest to him but they successfully terrified students so he kept them there for display alone. Before him were work related papers and books which he could not bring himself to look at. So he rested his chin on his entwined fingers and stared at the door which was a sufficient way to block out the desktop. 

Decimus let out one silent yawn and stretched its mouth wide, flashing its sharp teeth. Severus gave him a glance. A cat was not bad company at all. They did not follow you around and pester you but in fact did whatever they pleased, playing loyal for no one. They were silent most of the time and he realized just having another presence in the room was sometimes a comfort (as long as it wasn't an annoying presence such as a student).

But his mind was too full of serious matters and depressing worries to even ponder the ingenuity of cats. Hermione was no longer safe and it was his fault. No amount of reasoning that she was the friend of Potter and had always been in danger could convince him otherwise.

The cold light of several candles around the room on high stands did nothing for the mood. He didn't want to do what he had to do. Dumbledore agreed that there was no other way around it that would not have a worse overall effect. Hermione was the best thing that had happened to him and how would she repay him for what he was to do? She may go as far as not to speak with him at first but he was willing to pay that price for her safety. She would see that it was in her interests in good time if that were to happen but he assured himself it wouldn't.

Severus spent a good deal of time sitting at his desk with his head resting on his hands with his cat nearby waiting for the inevitable call to come. It was to come sometime today and he was allowed a fair amount of extra time to go and collect his Hermione.

When after while the burning sensation he was so used to rippled through him starting from the mark on his arm he at first ignored it and rubbed his temples with his fingers repeatedly. From the corner of the table Decimus stood and took his time in approaching Severus and rubbing his face against the sleeve of his burning arm before jumping off the desk.

* * *

Severus appeared calm... even cold in his actions as he strode away from Hogwarts grounds to be able to apparate. His facial expression was stiff and blank with a stern looked imprinted on it. Armed with the pain preparatory potion flowing through his veins he failed to see anything going wrong with his simple plan. 

Once just beyond the winged boars he swirled around, cloak and robes flowing behind his movement and gave the castle a long withdrawn stare. The sun had just set over his shoulder and the sky was still relatively bright with oranges and purples in a hanging mist. He had no choice, he reasoned - no option.

He was wasting time but to him that could only be good. His limit on extra time was not solid and could be stretched. The longer he took in collecting Hermione, the shorter the ordeal.

Standing in the wide empty gravel road leading up to the gates in the freshness of the outside air, he regretted everything he had done and was about to do. Stella would most likely not have approved but would have agreed that if Hermione was to retain her freedom then this was the best solution.

A loud crack tore through the still air sharply as he closed his eyes and apparated.

When he opened them he was standing outside the door of Hermione's apartment which she had shown him the day she had spied him making the potion that he was now under the power of. The door was friendly – if it were possible for a door to appear friendly. It was a pale color with a light blue imprint of the number 11A. He studied the door with his aging eyes. Every second that passed made him feel a year older. His heart was growing cold from anticipation and the throbbing from the mark under his skin that stayed an inky black.

He raised a reluctant finger and pressed the doorbell lightly. A cheerful children's tune rang out of the Teddy Bear's Picnic. Whatever grown people were doing with a ring like that he had no idea and didn't want to know.

"What kind of doorbell is that!?!" called the laughing voice through the wood of who he recognised as young Miss Weasley. Her airy attitude just made his insides grow colder. Hermione was by no means prepared for what was about to happen and though he knew she shouldn't be for the safety of everyone he couldn't force back the feeling of evilness that he so resented.

A moment later there was the sounds of a chain being undone and a snap as an inside lock was undone. Then the door began to open and he hoped it would be Hermione there because if not then the other members of the flat were in for a nasty surprise. As luck would have it Hermione was the one to answer the door and he released the breath he had been holding when he saw her eye through the growing gap.

"Severus?" she asked quietly, looking baffled at the unexpected visit. "Is something wrong?" She frowned lightly with her eyes brimming with delight that he had come to see her. Severus did not know if it was prudent to nod so did not say anything. She was looking angelic and incredibly delicate (in his eyes at least) with her light chocolate eyes and matching soft curls. Looking at her made it harder.

She did not open the door wide so that the others could not see. His serious expression must have been more than readable because her small smile shrunk unsurely when her warmth was unrequited. She leaned her under arm in the edge of the door.

"You need to come with me," he stated blankly, trying to hide all emotions of regret and reluctance. Hermione furrowed her brows and glanced shortly over her shoulder into the room full of the comfort of friends.

"I'm going out, guys," she called and there were several cries of protest and questioning all at once that bombarded her. She ignored them and stepped forward, closing the door behind her with a snap.

She then looked up into his unrevealing eyes for any sign of what this cryptic meeting was about. With the door inches from her back and Severus inches in front of her she was surprisingly oblivious to feeling of being trapped. The soft scent of musk filled her senses and she wanted to lean closer to Severus but he was emitting a standoffish vibe.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously. Severus felt even worse, if possible. He shook his head and kept silent. Hermione couldn't understand his unusual behaviour but it was unnerving her – which it rightly should.

"Brace yourself," he said softly almost under his breath but Hermione heard it clearly. She shot him a bewildered glance and tried in vain to brace herself for whatever unknown thing it was that he was trying to inform her of.

Severus lifted his hands and reached for her wrists. She let him take them delicately and looked to his black eyes with multiple questions swimming in her own. The tender pressure was little comfort to her but she took all she could get. She had figured out that he was about to apparate her to some place she didn't know and braced herself for that alone.

She glanced up at him again just before they disappeared from view because he had sighed. That was a bad sign she concluded only she wasn't aware of exactly how bad.

In a pivotal moment, the bright warm surroundings of her new home's entrance were pulled away and new surroundings, less warm were brought into light.

* * *

Ok... short-ish chapter in comparison with the last and I'm really very sorry but the next part takes time to write to keep in line with my plan. I originally intended to have some important stuff at the end here but my fuzzed brain is screaming at me telling me to stop typing and take a nap and this just seems to me a too good a place to end the chapter. Besides, my little sister just gave me a headache with her whining so I really can't handle much right now.

But I decided to be nice and update this chapter really quickly because the last one took so long (not my fault - I was suspended from uploading because one chapter in my old story was an authors note and I didnt remember so... yea)

AND I have all my data back!!! Not just that but I have a brand new laptop for it! So now I am in a good mood.

Humour me if you wish and leave a small note as a review but I'm not going to nag.

Luv y'all, Snakecharmer.

PS: what would really help me imrpove my writing would be if you could tell me your favorite and worst scene so I get a general idea of what you guys want more of.


	17. The Skull and the Snake

Chapter 17: The Skull and the Snake.

* * *

Lucius Annaeus Seneca: "Fallaces sunt rerum species" – the appearances of things are deceptive. I just wanted to let you know who said the opening quote for Magic of the Ancients.

(Oooeee - I don't think you guys will thank me much for_ this_ chapter - or the next few.)

* * *

So far:

Severus and Dumbledore discuss serious matters: the dark circle wants Hermione as a supporter and since she is not skilled in Occlumency the only way to not make Severus a suspect as a spy they decide Hermione should sit out one confusing meeting and then they will be convinced that she is on their side. Once they return to Hogwarts the baffled Hermione is to be enlightened. There are serious flaws in this plan but it is a better option than revealing Severus' alliance or sending Hermione into hiding... or so it seems.

Hermione takes Severus to Hogsmead where she buys him a proud black cat by the name of Decimus later the next day.

A couple of days after that, Severus is expecting the inevitable call which he receives. He apparates to Hermione's new home where he collects her and apparates her away...

* * *

When Severus had apparated her away from her apartment with an unreadable expression, Hermione had not anticipated _this_. The colors had melted away from the lighted entrance of her new home to the darkening sky of a forest. It was a clearing between the trees and the stars in the sky hung melancholy in the changing blue. The trees were all pine and there was an icy edge to the freshness of the air. Beneath her feet was the unmistakable sensation of earth and bracken.

Hermione was standing close to Severus, almost touching and facing one another so at first she did not look around her at her new surroundings. She did notice something odd, however, just from standing before Severus with her wrists in his gentle grip. His clothes had suddenly changed, as they had apparated. She had never seen him before dressed like this. It was a long dark blue (almost black) robe with a large hood pulled up over his head. It shadowed his face and in the dim light she could hardly see the overwhelming regret in his eyes. He had just changed his mind, he wanted to take her back but it was too late now. It was too late.

Hermione could feel a familiarity about his attire but her nagging mind could not place it. The pressure on her wrists from his fine-boned fingers increased a little.

"Severus!" a falsely relieved and surprised voice of a man to her back sounded through the split second silence. Hermione started a little in surprise. She was not thinking properly, just letting things happen. Severus had brought her to this secluded area and there was the voice of another man... "We were wondering whether you would make it!" Severus recognised it as the sardonic tone of Lucius.  
  
She turned around, slipping her wrists free of his grasp. There were sounds of muttering in low voices of other people as she spun round which only increased her confusion. Still keeping close to Severus, she finally laid her eyes on what was behind her.

She let out a quiet gasp of shock and took a step backwards sharply, right into Severus. He caught her by her shoulders tightly as she pressed her back up against him. Normally she would be grateful for the touch but right now his firm grip on her upper arms felt more like he was holding her into place to keep her from escaping. Hermione jerkily lifted her hands to her mouth in a blind reaction to the sight she was totally unprepared for.

The cold air was penetrating her skin through her sweater and she started shivering. She seemed to be attracting the cold. The warmth of Severus behind her gave her the only comfort but she was too stunned at this instant to see that yet.

What had made her gasp and take a step backwards was the sight of hooded cloaked figures wearing identical white masks. They were all looming in the formation of tight large circle. The leering blankness of the masks terrified her and the hooded figure standing opposite her in the center of the circle in an abundance of black thick robes shrouding even his hands and hiding his face from view.

Her eyes flickered widely to her left and right as if to find a gap to escape but the cloaked figures reached right up to either side of her and Severus. Severus... it was as though she had only just remembered he was here. He would make sure she was safe.

She gave the circle that was staring at her one long terrified glance before turning back to Severus. He wasn't masked, to her utmost relief. But when she looked to his eyes for comfort... there was none waiting for her. The thin icy air filled her lungs sharply as her breathing became shallow. The adrenaline was already overflowing in her bloodstream and it made her shake uncontrollably as she pressed herself against him for reassurance.

She buried her face into the unfamiliar robes of his chest and clenched the soft material with urgency. Her hands stopped shaking with the security of the fabric though the feeling of security was short-lived. Severus in turn lifted an arm tenderly and wrapped it around her back, crushing her curls as she breathed his scent through the folds of clothes in shuddering gasps. Severus felt as though his heart was being suffocated. Hermione was petrified, quaking and leaning into him for safety. What had he been thinking to consider her capable of such a task?

The scent of pine filled the sense of every death eater there and the sky was nearing pitch black. The mutterings were increasing between the masked people but nothing actually happened for a long moment as they waited for the form in the center of the circle to do something. Unknown to all, his thin almost non-existent lips had pulled back into a sneering smirk.

"Welcome," a soft hiss escaped the shadow under the hood and Hermione gasped again. "Hermione Granger," he jeered with a hint of laughter in his terrible voice. She tensed sharply at her name and Severus observed her intently with his insides burning from pain at having to watch her suffer. It was the voice of Voldemort. She knew it well and had never had to face him before alone, without Harry at her side. Severus was standing frozen and firm behind her shaky frame.

At the sound of her name being played with by his tongue Hermione twisted her face, keeping it squashed against his chest. She looked out of the corner of her eye to the lord of evil standing calmly several feet away. Her breathing situation worsened so that she was gasping and hardly any air reached her lungs resulting in no oxygen arriving to her muscles and organs to revive them.

She wanted to ask Severus, beg him to explain, what exactly was going on. Why had he brought her here? He had brought her to a Death Eater meeting. What was she to do? Would they kill her? Torture her? She shook harder and Severus' arm around her back gripped her tighter for security. She could not get the words past her lips. They died in her throat and if even they didn't her lips were too heavy to part anyway.

Severus did not say anything because he didn't know what to tell her. The sooner this was over with the better. For all the others knew, Hermione was going to be a supporter and was just too terrified of their powerful presences to think straight. It did more for their ego than Severus liked to think about.

Hermione did not answer to the greeting of the dark lord and watched him fearfully out of frightened brown eyes.

"You are most likely wondering," he continued. Hermione listened carefully, holding back on her shaking and jagged breaths as much as possible. "-why we are honouring you alone with this meeting..."

"Me?" she repeated in a small voice. Was she to understand that this meeting was for her?! Voldemort did not mind being interrupted, surprisingly, because her tone was not disrespectful. Severus' flesh went clammy. Hermione's voice was no more than a stifled squeak from her constricted throat – a result of her fear which was his fault.

"An honour you most probably feel the full weight of," he persisted. Hermione gaped like a fish. What was he talking about? "You are an intelligent girl, Miss Granger. A girl of your mental power has much to offer. You have succeeded with over-excellent grades in every subject and test laid before you..." Hermione's mind was slowing down to an almost halt because she couldn't contemplate what had happened that turned hell upside down and made the most evil man alive start praising her grades.

"What is it that you want?" her voice a choked but reasonable rasp. It carried out into the emptiness of the air and several more mutterings sounded.

"Silence," he hissed and immediately there was. Hermione even tried to stop breathing so there would be silence, like he wished for. He turned back to her and she pushed against Severus harder and he had to use strength to keep them both standing. "It should be obvious, Granger, "what I want"." He gave her a long hard stare from beneath with red coal eyes which Hermione, thankfully, could not see for the hood.

He did not go on to explain what he wanted leaving her to gape against Severus' chest as she considered all the possibilities, each worse than the one before.

"Snape," the voice floating from under the cloak was demanding. Hermione felt him tense up sharply at the sound of his name and she gripped the cloth of his death eater robes tighter. "Bring her forward."

Her head snapped up to look at him with wide eyes. Surely he was not going to bring her closer to the dark lord as he wished? Her breathing went irregular and harsh once more as her heart sped up. There was no expression on his face other than blank obedience. The far off look in his eye made her heart go cold. She did not know that he was putting all his concentration in to keep his thoughts clear so Voldemort could not read them.

He had no choice but to bring Hermione to the center of the circle as he wanted. Hermione was not in control of her own body and she automatically let Severus take her there, trusting in his decisions. Nothing was lighting the way anymore other than the stars and the large moon creating waves of shining glow for them to see by. It lit the tops of the pine forest and the outline of circle of death eaters.

The shadow of Severus leading a weak and shuddering Hermione, clinging to him dearly, to the center of the ring was observed by the still eyes behind masks. As soon as Severus broke the circle the nearest death eaters glided forward silently to close the gap. The ring was once again complete and trapped them in like rodents in a cage. She found that no amount of shuddering gasps could supply her with enough fresh freezing air.

"McNair!" Hermione froze at the contrast between his previous soft hiss and his now sharp yell of a command. The sound of the executioner's name rang through all their ears and after a quiet moment where nothing sounded, Hermione and Severus stopped in front of him. Severus looked up with brief surprise that he immediately masked. McNair specialized in two things: killing and... Severus frowned. Surely not? What else did he specialise in? He could not think.

Hermione watched with her wide brown eyes, her head lifted off of Severus so she could see McNair step away from the ring to their left. He took two quiet steps forward then stopped. The gap was not closed, yet. She studied the unrevealing mask acutely and could for some reason sense that he was smirking. It was not visible, however.

Severus was holding Hermione tightly now. It was unnerving her instead of comforting her. But Severus did not understand what was going on. He did not know this meeting was for her alone, he had though she was merely to attend, be questioned on her knowledge and allowed to leave as a suspected supporter. Whatever he wanted with her up close and needed the assistance of McNair he did not know. But deep inside he did know and did not want to accept it. He wouldn't believe it.

Hermione looked up into his sharp unyielding black eyes under the large navy hood. He looked back with as much encouragement as he could.

"Yes, Master?" McNair called with his greasy sneering voice. Hermione shuddered violently. It was a horrible voice.

"Your skills are required," he told him and Hermione got the distinct impression that McNair should be honoured that he had skills at all from Voldemort's voice. McNair's face was not visible to show his self-pride but his posture definitely improved.

He pattered over to them, feet invisible beneath the hem of his special robes. His back was pompously straight as though he had been given a new reason to live. If Hermione had been able to think right, or at all for that matter, she would have found his dependence on the words of Voldemort to be sickening.

He approached from the left and Hermione eyed him with a flickering, frightened stare. She kept a hold of Severus but no longer rested her head against him, trying to see more of what was going on. It was now she, Severus, McNair and the Dark Lord standing in their own small circle inside the larger one under the star-speckled sky.

Hermione turned back to Severus, looking up at him with confused eyes that looked on the verge of crying. But the shine in them was caused by the moon and not tears. Even so, the sight stabbed at Severus' heart. He could not reveal his regret and reluctance to do as he had done in front of Voldemort so he turned to the only emotion he could show that he actually meant: care.

He leaned down and kissed her temple softly. He knew every eye was on him but did not care. They knew that he and Hermione were together. She leaned into the touch but when he pulled away and straightened, the look in her eyes was the opposite of comforted. She was frowning with confusion and her own heart was being squeezed with an emotion she couldn't place and was entirely new to her.

"How... _sweet_," he played with the word that was totally unheard of from his tongue. There were collective snickers from around the ring at Voldemort's words and Hermione looked dispirited, any console she had gathered from the small act of love was lost with the jeering of the others. She opened her mouth then closed it like a fish. "A couple I approve of and a good choice in partnership if I ever saw one. Intellect and intellect, sense and sense – I only hope that as a pair your contribution to the circle will increase." Hermione's brain almost halted and her heart stopped beating for a second. Voldemort's approval was the last thing she desired.

Hermione leaned back onto him and Severus inhaled sharply at Voldemort's words. He recovered fast.

"Thank you, master," Severus said respectfully with a light nod of the head which was intended as a bow. The word 'master' came out choked as though it was forced but thanks to his skills in Occlumency Voldemort had no reason to suspect he was anything other than happy with the praise.

Hermione was lost in all this. Severus' thanks for a compliment she did not want only bewildered her further and she would have been certain he did not think of that as sufficient praise.

"Shall we?" Voldemort asked but everyone knew it was a rhetorical question. The silence and fresh air were no longer pervading her senses and Hermione became totally oblivious to her surroundings. "Malfoy!" he snapped from beneath the overlarge black hood. Once again the name of another death eater rang out and echoed off the edge of trees.

Hermione's head twisted round and she saw, from the place she had been standing with Severus, a death eater come forward with a bundle in his arms. She gulped. She was slightly afraid and intimidated by Lucius Malfoy. He strode over to them as though he was worthy of the honour. He stopped in front of them, under the cold gaze of Voldemort from beneath the hood.

Bending to a stoop, Lucius Malfoy held up the bundle of material to Voldemort. Hermione stared at the thing questioningly. Her heart pounded against her ribs and ragged breathing sped up. Whatever the bundle was it was the making of dark magic or for the uses of it. Voldemort in turn accepted the bundle, picking it up with his long-fingered white (dead-looking) hands, not giving Lucius more than a second glance. This did not hurt his pride in the slightest.

Lucius backed away, with his head still bowed low, carefully and silently until he was back in his place of the circle. There was then a short expectant silence.

Voldemort took his sweet time as he proceeded to unwrap the dark blue cloth. His deathly pale fingers delicately peeled each layer of soft material away from the other. The whole circle watched avidly. He chose to speak at the same time as he busied himself with the duty.

"You are aware, Miss Granger," he began, giving her a glance which Hermione could not see for the shadow cast by his hood. "- that there is no such thing as good and evil, just power and those who are willing to seek it?" he questioned her. Severus had to rescue to situation. Hermione should not reveal her alliance.

"And knowledge is power," he added bravely. It could go either way: he could be furious that Severus avoided Hermione's question for her or he would be impartial. Voldemort's red eyes locked onto him and he could sense it. He kept his face passive and emotionless. Hermione felt the horror and anticipation from all other death eaters filling the air and it fed her nervous adrenaline rush. Her muscles weren't shaking as bad now that the hormone had begun to fade. As it raged once more Hermione gripped Severus tighter to keep from crumpling and collapsing to the hard earth.

Severus felt her fingers dig into his robes and in automatic response held her tighter. A mistake... a huge mistake... This decision was a huge mistake and Dumbledore was partly to blame for it as well. Hermione was aware of the sensation of touch of his arm around her back more than she had ever been in her life. Her adrenaline fed senses were on hyper-drive.

"Very good Severus," Voldemort whispered and Severus tried not to but could not help let out the small breath he had been holding. Voldemort was almost done unfolding the cloth that seemed unusually thick and large for the small object within. "Yes. Knowledge is power. That is why you are worthy enough, Granger." Severus held back the frown of confusion. Worthy... of what? Surely he was not speaking of supporting their side alone?

When Voldemort finally held up the large fabric and revealed what it was Severus felt his heart stop. It took all his concentration and will power not to let his eyes widen in shock and to pull Hermione back away from the thing he held. What he held from his long fingers, dangling close to the dead bracken, were long dark blue robes – identical to the ones he now wore.

His mind froze. In his concentration on Occlumency he did not have a spare thought for what he was going to do. Also in Voldemort's hands was a white mask which made Hermione's eyes grow wider than they were and she opened her mouth to obviously attempt to speak but she couldn't. Not a sound could pass her lips.

He was holding out them for Hermione to take but she didn't. She stood rooted to the floor and glued to Severus, gaping at them as though they may bite. Severus once again was called upon to rescue the situation. He reached a slender hand forward and took them for her. She watched in shock as his fingers curled around identical material and Voldemort let go.

Severus took his arm away from Hermione's back and she felt a great deal colder than she already was. Wherever they were it was freezing at night, despite the fact it was summer.

Forcing himself to do what was required of him; he opened the robes and held then in a gentleman manner for Hermione to slip into. Hermione stared at it for a moment then looked up blankly at Severus in a heartbreaking way. He never felt so atrocious in his entire life when he nodded at her in an encouraging motion. She blinked twice in disbelief.

Trusting his judgements too much than was for her own good, she pulled away from his warm body and felt the gooseflesh rise from the iciness. She expressionlessly and robotically slipped her arms into each of the wide dark blue sleeves, keeping her eyes on his and his alone. Once the robes were resting safely on her shoulders he let go. Hermione made no move to do up the front clasp or pull up her hood. She just stood with her open robes, her arms dangling numbly hidden by the large round sleeves, and equally open expression looking up at him.

Severus wished she would stop. She was making it worse than it was. He did what he considered the best thing and bent forward to place another small kiss at her temple before slipping the mask into the large pocket at the side of the robes (he knew Hermione would make no move to wear it if he handed it to her). He didn't realise this only confused her further. Her mix of emotions combined with this annulled any possibility of her thinking straight.

With the robes hanging on her shoulders and the lingering sensation of the kiss at her temple she felt a great deal warmer and the gooseflesh began to sink out of sight. Voldemort was watching, pleased. McNair was standing at the side, digging into his pocket for something. Hermione turned back vacantly and leaned her back against Severus as she looked to the two with unblinking eyes.

Voldemort turned his attentions to McNair who had just seemed to find the tool he needed from his pocket. It was made of metal and had a sharp tip – that was all Hermione noticed.

"Lift up your sleeve," he sneered greasily and Hermione could only look to Severus to see whether he approved and he nodded at her again. She blinked numbly and began to roll up her sleeve to reveal the cold skin of her forearm. Her actions were not her own and she may as well have blacked out for the amount of control she had over them.

Severus sucked in a breath as he finally came to terms with what was about to happen and that he had no power to change it. It was too late. He still could not believe it entirely even when McNair sharply snatched her by the wrist and yanked her arm closer to his eye. Severus hated him for touching her at all – even in such an insignificant way.

"This won't hurt... much..." he snickered. A round a chuckles followed his comment and Hermione stared with wide eyes at Severus the whole while.

* * *

Hermione was numb, her flesh heavy clammy and cold. She wanted to vomit. She was going to vomit. In fact, if she didn't vomit she might faint. Her brain was icily jammed and like a broken record. All she could think were the last words she heard "See you next time then." Next time.... Next time? There was going to be a next time?

Severus and she were one of the first to apparate to just outside the winged boars of the gates. She had collapsed to the hard ground of the earth immediately and sat, in the dark of the night, curled up into a shivering ball. She supported herself on the dirt with the palms of her hands but it didn't do much good. The blue sleeves of the robe fell over them and puddled the ground. Her hair hung down on either side of her face, blocking out the world with a shower of brown curls – that she was grateful for.

Her shoulders shook and she had never felt so weak and out of control of her own body. Each shudder created a ripple throughout her as though she was as light as a feather. She didn't know where Severus was and her mind tried to block him out as much as possible. "See you next time then..."

He was crouched down in front of her, silently watching with his observant, sad black eyes. His identical navy robes pooled around him in a threatening circle formation. He would not touch her... he had tried to touch her shoulder comfortingly and she had violently shaken him off and pulled away. He didn't risk repeating it. He just watched her closely to make sure she was alright. Only once he was certain of her being OK would he turn to his own emotions of self-hatred and sickness.

Hermione's urge to vomit was growing so strong that when she did actually vomit it was a relief. She went pale and sallow-skinned before spilling her guts on the earth. There was nothing dramatic and poetic about this situation. It was the raw and pungent stench of human fear and decaying adrenaline. She coughed and hung her head with her eyes closed after relieving some of her painful twisting on the inside.

Severus didn't move away sharply, as instinct advised. He wanted to stroke her hair and hold her to make her calm down. But he just watched, with cold black eyes. "See you next time then..."

Wearing the blue robes with the white mask sticking out of the pocket, she had never felt worse. But all sensation of the earth beneath her palms, the reek of vomit and the softness of the Death Eater robes was lost to the one thing that consumed her every thought and would for nights to come.

Upon her lips was the drying vomit. Her pale cheeks were stinging with lack of blood and crying out against the sharp edge the cold night air brought. With her diluted pupils hidden by her closed lids. Her lashes were suddenly razor sharp and felt as though they were slicing her. The sensation was annulled by the silent tears she was unaware of slipping down her cheeks and soothing in the most minute way.

And on her arm... the fresh stinging from the remnants of pain... pain not of torture but of a more sinister nature. "See you next time then..." There was to be a next time... She would be sure to know of it.

The flesh of her forearm (the only part of her body not heavy with after-fatigue) was burning hot against the cloaking sleeve of her new robes. The whole area around the single spot was a rash red and radiated electric waves of heat. It was all she could think of. Heaven knew it hurt. It hurt more than it actually did because the amount of attention she paid to it was overwhelming. The rest of her skin was cold but not so bad that the gooseflesh rose again.

She seemed to only just remember that she had thrown up and moved backwards away from the puddle sharply. She pushed herself back with the force of her palms and shuffled herself a couple of steps back – away from the stain and away from Severus. He watched intently but did not come closer to close the gap. From between curtains of fine black hair he remained frozen in place – only his eyes moving. He was still avoiding thinking about what had happened. If he did he may as well vomit too. What had taken place was no more part of his plan as falling in love with Hermione was. Yet both had happened.

On her knees, with tears smudged across her cheeks, she was certain that her numbness was permanent. One quiet sob escaped her lips and her shoulders shook harder. Severus could not bear it anymore. "See you next time then..."

He stood carefully in one smooth movement and took a couple of steps over the vomit so that he was right before her. She was huddled in a shaking rocking huddle with her curly hair hanging over her shoulders, down her back and shadowing her bloodless face. He felt the last of his heart, that wasn't already suffering, squeeze.

He bent down again so that he could look at her bowed face. He needed to comfort her for his sake as well as hers. It hurt him to see her in such a state – hurt him to unimaginable proportions. When his face was in line with hers he saw that now her bloodshot autumn brown eyes were open and resting on his with a blank coldness that begged him to keep away. He could do no such thing.

He held out a slender hand to her face to push aside the hair before stroking her damp cheek for reassurance. She watched his fingers with flickering eyes as they neared her pale skin. Her shaking did not subside. The bitter acrid taste of vomit filled her mouth. The closer the fingers got to her, the more her pupils seemed to constrict in fear.

The second he touched her face comfortingly she jerked backwards away from the caress with wide horrified eyes. He was startled. She finally managed to find a new strength – born from an angry breaking heart - to stand. It was a shaky motion but she managed to push herself up very quickly to look down at the crouched form of Severus in his robes indistinguishable from hers. If he had had his hood pulled up, that would have been the last straw that broke the camel's back. Luckily he did not.

She stumbled backwards a little and almost toppled as she straightened but regained some form of control. The solid cool earth under her feet was moving and uneven and she felt as though the world was spinning. Severus stood too to try and help her.

He took her arm to support her and she yanked it away hurriedly and gasped at his touch as though it stung. On the other arm that he hadn't grabbed was the dark mark, fresh under her skin and black as the sky now. The skull with a snake coming from its mouth was permanently imprinted into her flesh for all eternity. And as her thoughts turned back to the burn on her arm so painful and hot they led to the image of Severus standing at her side as it happened. She had not been able to think frozen in confusion and disbelief. She had depended on Severus to protect her – had it been too much to ask? He had merely stood by and allowed the deed to be done.

Severus knew that this reaction was not uncharacteristic but all the same he felt some of the weight of what he had done start to sink in when she threw his arm off of her and lurched backwards. "See you next time then..." It was a miracle she did not slam down onto the cold dirt and that she remained quaking, but standing. She looked at him with terror and her breathing once again quickened.

Severus retrieved his arm and just stared at her, unsure of what was the best thing to do. He looked her over, standing back from him, pale with her hair hanging limply around her and on the blue shoulders of her new robes still balancing on her. In the pocket of her robes was the white mask and Severus tried ignore it as best he could.

"You," she spat. Her voice was shaking with uncertainty and pain. She started to shiver harder than before but her tone was firm and angry. "_Don't _touch me." Severus looked blankly surprised. But his eyes revealed his grief. A single tear escaped her control and slipped down her already damp cheeks from her raw red eyes.

She took a couple of shaky steps backwards in the direction of the castle, keeping her unsteady gaze on him all the while. Once he was a far enough distance away from her to be sure she was safe she turned and began to attempt to race up to the castle gates but couldn't manage more than a stagger.

Severus was quick to follow but kept his distance. She was incredibly unstable and, from the looks of it, was getting worse. He did not know how to feel and so the numbness consumed in a way he was grateful for because it allowed him to think in a sensible way.

He watched her sadly as she stumbled up to the castle as fast as her weak legs could carry her.

* * *

Ok... even smaller chapter (eensy weensy ickle little chapter) – but the quality u have to admit is getting a teensy bit better – what I was hoping to accomplish with this story.

I'm about a three quarters of a chapter behind schedule – there was supposed to be a lot more here but it is a one piece kinda thing so that'll have to be the main part of chapter 18.

I tried to make the images as real as they were in my head – if you could see it as clearly as I did that means I've done my job and thank u because it doesn't work without ur imagination. (However looking back on some stuff I feel a bit lame in some parts - wont tell u which cos I dont wanna put u off).

Luv, Snakecharmer.

PS: Yes the cat will have a later part to play (though I cant say its incredibly important).

PPS: I am starting to go off this story... which often results in me dropping them. But I will continue to write for as long as I possibly can! I am going to FORCE myself to finish it, even if it is painful, because I need to say I have completed one large story (having a few large ones hanging - not on ff).However for days now the begining of chapter twenty has not been touched - I have moved over to ES for a while but I will return when I feel I won't crash into depression.


	18. Hysterics

Chapter 18: Hysterics

* * *

So far: (I think ull have to reread the last chapter if ur depending on what I say here)

Severus takes Hermione to the dark circle and she is given the honours of being recruited as a death eater... oh dear... and Severus just stands numbly by while she is turned into one. When they get back to Hogwarts Hermione obviously reacts in a shocked way and refuses to let Severus touch her before stumbling back up to the castle...

* * *

She had been almost at the entrance of Dumbledore's office and it was surprising she made it so far before the inevitable happened. Staggering through the empty half-lit corridors of stone in the middle of night with no one but Severus who was following her at a safe distance there, she was weak and limp. Every step was a fight and win of her self-control over her shaky muscles. She supported herself meekly with a slipping hand on the smoothed granite of the walls.

She could see the gargoyle with her watery bloodshot eyes and with the encouragement of such a sight she had quickened her pace. That had turned out to be imprudent seeing as she instantly tripped and fell to the stone ground ungracefully. She collided with the floor with a smack that rang so thick it was sickening to Severus' stomach.

He heard fast approaching steps and did not stop to observe which of the staff was coming to his aid before racing forwards to help Hermione. He did not stop to think in his natural reaction that she did not want him to touch her...

She lay on the floor unmoving and sobbing silently, cloaked by her curly hair so he could not see her face. She made no attempt to move from the floor. Her navy blue cloaked back was hunched and arched into an uncomfortable ball shape and she shook with each invisible sob, her whole body wracked by the movement.

The sadness was overwhelming her, choking her mind and constricting her throat until the insides of her trachea were touching. She couldn't look at Severus – she had been staring at him the whole while they had permanently stained her forearm. Her self-value had dropped dramatically. Her arm was still fresh with pain and it just made what had happened so... real... She wished it weren't so... Reality sucked... really sucked.

He bent down before her with serious caring blackness in his eyes. The sounds of the footsteps were close.

He stroked a hand tenderly down her tensed back fluidly to comfort her. That was all that he intended and he wanted to take her up in his arms but he couldn't. She was too withdrawn. Her ragged breathing halted for a long moment and Severus thought she may have calmed down but he was wrong. She had held her breath sharply and when she looked up with her eyes to observe who was tending to her nerves she reacted as he should have expected – if he had been thinking straight.

She gasped and sputtered a few incoherent mutterings as she pushed herself away from him as quickly as she could with her sweaty hands sliding on the smooth floor, helped by the sleek material of her overlarge sleeves. Her vomit stained lips were beginning to turn raw and peel already and despite the unblinking of her wide flickering red eyes the tears flowed as effortlessly as ever. Several locks of hair were clinging to her moist bloodless cheeks.

Severus once again withdrew his hand sadly and respectfully moved a little backwards to allow her the space she wished for. The footsteps were almost upon them, he could tell.

Dumbledore was the one who was racing over to them. All he could see were the two identically clad figures wearing death eater robes, one curled up on the floor the other crouched down with the hem puddled around them. He immediately recognised the black shoulder-length hair at a distance as belonging to Severus but of the long haired brunette death eater... he did not know of.

Severus did not speak but Hermione, after staring at him with uncertain hate in her brimming eyes did.

"Don't TOUCH me," she cried and if she had not been rasping for air would have shrieked it at him. Severus flinched back from the cold address. Dumbledore stopped over his shoulder observing the confusing display as he tried to fill in the blanks himself. Severus could hear the footsteps and his keen ears pricked up that they belonged to Dumbledore. After several years the ability became natural.

Stopping to look down at the face of the female death eater he had never seen before (and trusted Severus enough to know she were no threat) he was not prepared to see what he did. His kind blue eyes clouded darkly behind his half-moon spectacles and his heart went cold, almost stopping in foreboding.

Severus refused to take his pained eyes off of Hermione for one second to glance up at Dumbledore. She was attempting and failing to force her eyebrows to glower at the cause of her suffering. It looked more like her face was twisting and crumpling painfully and she gave up, bursting into a fit of sobs, burying her ghostly face in the sleeves and her hands. Severus felt his heart bleed. He really wanted to hold her just to take away the mind-blowing terror and sadness in her eyes.

"Severus..." Dumbledore started, keeping his shocked stare on the sobbing figure whose noises were inefficiently muffled by her sleeves and hands. "Is that Miss Granger?" Severus had never felt worse, even when Stella died, even when his mother had died just before his coming to Hogwarts. This beat it all. His insides were thick, clammy and not held into their proper places. It seemed as though they were floating around and the sensation was the most unpleasant and unwelcome he had ever experienced.

Hermione was now on the verge of choking on her own loud sobs and was already way past hyperventilating. Each sound that ripped from her sore constricted throat he felt as though a piece of his flesh was being torn from him painfully. His nerves were electric and tingling despite the fact Hermione was the only one who had endured actual physical pain. That had made him feel shoddier when he realized it. It seemed there was no end to exactly how bad he could feel.

"Yes," he said numbly. He wasn't aware that he had parted his lips or that the sound had past through them or even that he had heard Dumbledore to begin with. He could not look into her eyes without seeing himself reflected in them.

Dumbledore felt his own blood go cold but reacted adequately, as Severus expected. He brushed past Severus, crouched before her, and swooped down on the quivering hiccupping girl. Hermione watched him through a gap in her fingertips that were uncovered by the robes. Dumbledore was nice, a benevolent old man. He wouldn't hurt her.

He bent down quickly and Hermione let him help her up by her upper arms. She didn't own any strength of her own so she depended on him to hold her fragile frame upright. He managed easily. He was sickened by the state she was in. No girl her age should be put under such distress. She continued to mask her face frightfully with her hands and Severus was burning inside at not being able to touch her.

Dumbledore had an arm around her back, under her arms and she was amazed she had the energy to move her feet at all.

They were just outside the gargoyle anyway so Dumbledore did not have to support her stumbling form far. Severus stood slowly, feeling as though he was carrying the weight of a ton of bricks. His head began to spin with images of the sharp metal instrument piercing the skin of Hermione's arm. He had every opportunity to stop it but under the eye of the Death Eaters he had frozen. It was too soon to reveal his alliance. He was needed – he reasoned. But all the same, he should have been more than willing to throw his duty aside for her. He hadn't. In hindsight, he was a fool.

His eyes followed the two shadows of the old man holding up Hermione stopping before the gargoyle. He did not hear Dumbledore utter the password but he must have seeing as a moment later the thing sprung aside and let them through.

He immediately caught up with them in quick paces that were not his own. His robes billowed out behind him in his rush and he felt as though he were not moving, rather floating along because he could not feel the stone beneath his feet.

He passed through the gap before the statue moved back into place and let them walk ahead of him. They were on the moving staircase and Severus stepped on it too. It carried him up behind them and he kept his eyes down. Taking his eyes off of her did not stop him hearing her quiet sobs that she was trying to hold back and violently failing.

He heard the two get off the top step and the sound of his office door opening just as he reached the top of the stairs himself. He was depending on his automatic gear to keep him moving at all because his own thoughts had shut down and he was running on what he supposed he should think.

Dumbledore and Hermione were gone but the door of his office was wide open and Severus naturally walked over to it, assuming he was to be at her side as Dumbledore tried to calm her. He had no more gotten one foot through the door when he saw Dumbledore (after having settled the shivering Hermione in an armchair) coming back over to him with a firm look on his face.

Severus did not fully understand when Dumbledore shook his head and pointed a withered hand over his shoulder in the direction he had just come. He blinked and tried to focus enough to comprehend.

Hermione lifted her frightened eyes over the tips of her fingers from her curled position of the armchair to watch as he pointed Severus out of the room and then followed. The two left in silence and her iridescent eyes trailed the movement as the door swung shut behind them. There was a soft click and Hermione realized she was alone.

She lifted her head a little and her drying cheeks with the clinging strands of hair were still white with lack of blood and her head was starting to throb painfully. Pulling her hands away from her face revealed the frightened hue taking control on it and making her appear sunken and drawn from lack of cheerfulness.

She tried to absorb some of the friendly vibe of Dumbledore's nicely lit oval room with the ticking objects she still did not recognise. The attempt to feed off of the atmosphere to retain some form of comfort not her own was useless. She only felt worse with every second and fresh tears swelled out of her painfully sore eyes and the hot watering of them as they fell away was becoming more and more unpleasant. She hardly noticed, however.

After pulling herself together enough to silence her loud sobs, keeping them down to quiet shakes that attacked her whole body, she could hear voices through the door. There were the sounds of rough questioning and numb quiet replies. She could decipher barely anything but what could was that Dumbledore sounded angry and disbelieving. She understood this completely, of course.

Wearily lifting her head to listen better she heard the sound of retreating footsteps. Once again her heart began to race. Dumbledore wasn't going to leave her here alone was he? Even worse, would he leave her here with the reason for a fresh tattoo on her forearm? No, he couldn't be so cruel.

Her breathing was coming in harsh gasps that were growing more irregular the more she hyperventilated.

She could feel the shape of the burn under her skin plainly as though it was drawn into her memory as well as her flesh. The part of her that wasn't hot and stinging with fire was cold and soggy as though she were dead. Her blood must have stopped circulating ages ago, she wildly considered and why she had not dropped already was a mystery to her.

The door opened again and Hermione instantly clutched her mark through the dark blue sleeve of her robe automatically and didn't even notice until her skin cried out in pain and she withdrew her hand immediately. It throbbed fresh under the sleeve and she did all in her power to ignore it. She turned her attention to the door and who was behind it.

She let out a relieved sigh that sounded more like a soft rasp from her sore throat. Dumbledore was there. Severus was not.

"There is much to discuss."

* * *

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Draco were called upon and brought to Hogwarts by floo in total confusion. They hadn't turned in for the night as they had all been worrying for her safety.

Hermione wasn't aware they were there at first. She kept her face buried in her hands and cried non-stop until she heard a sharp gasp. It came from the direction of the fireplace where Dumbledore had left her with the promise of returning quickly. She was curled up on the chair with her legs tucked under her and her head bowed down with her curly hair hanging down on either side of her face and the sounds of her crying escaped it.

Ginny had been the one to gasp when she had seen the sight the moment she set foot out of the fireplace. Beside her were the three boys lined up looking totally blank and staring at the hunched figure unsurely. Ron was pale with worry, Harry was red with anger at whoever did this to her and Draco was going slightly green when he recognised the robes she was wearing before any of the others did. He began to shake his blonde head but no one noticed.

Hermione tried to stifle her noises and only her overwhelming curiosity managed to contain them. She took a couple of moments to try and control her body and her incessant shaking. After five or so incredibly deep breaths to attempt to stave off her irregular gasps she could pick her head up from being squashed into her palms and the blue sleeves and peer up at who else was there.

The brightness that hit her eyes of the room was stronger than she remembered. Ginny would have gasped again if her breath had not caught in her throat. Hermione was a living wretch. Her cheeks were so pale they were starting to look blue-ish. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot with raw hot tears staining them and her face. Her nose was red and her lips were quivering.

Following her first instinct Ginny ran forwards to the large periwinkle blue wool armchair. Hermione saw through the wet haze a red haired blur racing over to her and the corners of her lips twitched as she tried to contain another fit of hiccups. The blur could not be anyone else but Ginny. She was feeling a little better but still the worse she had ever felt in her life. Her insides had sunk to her feet and her head was spinning with a headache.

Ginny was upon her in a moment and flung her arms around her wracked shoulders comfortingly. The warmth and security of her friend was all she needed to remind her of who had indirectly done this to her. She could not help it as she broke down into worse tears against Ginny's shoulder.

The boys began to walk forward completely at a loss for how to comfort their friend. Also they where dying with interest as to what had happened to her to get her in such a state.

Hermione felt so weak that in any other situation she would have considered herself a baby but her whole body was heavy and shaking totally beyond her command and her head hurt so much that it was blinding. Ginny was rocking her and shushing her soothingly but it did nothing but give her the comfort of knowing someone cared. It would help in the long term but right now the thought did nothing for her.

Dumbledore passed the boys and walked over to his desk to take his place behind it. Ginny was ignoring everything except her dearest friend who was nothing more than a rare pile of nerves. Hermione was sobbing into the material of her shoulder and she concentrated every thought of the... thing... on her arm. When would the burning subside?!

The boys gathered around the two figures as Dumbledore made himself comfortable in his own large chair and observed with sad blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" whispered Ginny in a calm motherly tone when Hermione's sobbing settled down a little because of lack of air. The boys' attention peaked and they listened intently but Draco already had a vague horrible idea of what she would say. Hermione didn't want to answer but she knew that it would be better to let them know sooner. She tried to control her ragged breathing so she could speak. It was the most miserable failure and her choked sobs repeatedly escaping her lips prevented her from making a single voluntary noise.

She lifted her cumbersome head that was threatening to explode from pain. Her raw eyes rested on Harry's protective expression first who was looking ready to murder whatever cause for her distress. It melted into pity at her glance before she looked to Ron who was looking as though he may have caught her feelings like a disease for the lack of blood in his freckled cheeks. Draco on the other hand was looking at her in disbelief with wide grey eyes.

"I-I," the first sounds to properly escape her throat were a relief to know she could speak at all. But those were the only noises she could make. She didn't want to do it but the only way to explain was to show them. She gulped and a hot smudgy tear burned her eye before slipping away down her cheek and singeing the skin.

She decided she had to be strong enough to look at it, even if she never saw it again. She would never see it again, she decided. She would bandage it up and never let the skin of her forearm see the light of day ever again.

Lifting herself with a weak courage away from Ginny for a moment she kept her head bowed and her body curled. She shakily held the sleeve of her dark blue robe and Ginny could feel her whole body shake violently as she did. Hermione hesitated with her fingers caressing the smooth material between her thumb and forefinger and her breathing becoming harsher with every moment.

In one movement before she thought about it too long, she pulled the thick blue fabric back away and revealed the flesh of her arm. She pinched her eyes shut as soon as she saw a hint of the permanent skin-tainted black. Her lids stung in protest to her mistreating them but she could not look at the ugly shape. She let the others look, however. She heard a fatal gasp from Ginny and several throat noises and choking sounds from the boys and Draco sucked the air through his teeth as he confirmed his worst fear.

"No..." a hoarse whisper of firm denial from Harry. He shook his black-haired head but his eyes stayed glued to the haunting sight.

"W-what?" stuttered Ron feeling as though his whole stomach flipped. All their eyes were wide at the skull and snake imprinted on the bared arm of their crying friend. Ginny may have fainted if the need to comfort Hermione wasn't so powerful a primitive emotion. In cases of stress and shock the primitive emotions take control of a person's actions. It was like an automatic gear for the mind.

Hermione's vomit coated tongue was about to choke her. If she did not focus all her concentration on her breathing she could very well swallow her tongue. Forcing herself to take deep breaths did little for her wracked nerves but it did a lot for her screaming muscles.

The boys, on the other hand, were numb all over in disbelief that their friend was a... Death Eater. They could not speak their fears - the reason was plain just looking at Hermione. She was distraught and a total shell of herself. The real her was somewhere in her like a dying seed shrivelling fast into the corner of its case. Her heart was bleeding torpidly and pictures of Severus started to surface before fading away into the image of his calm face as the tool pierced her skin... It made her angry.

Harry could not believe it. How could he? Hermione, his best friend and one of the kindest people he knew was the furthest thing known to him as what he categorized Death Eaters as. Hermione a... Death Eater? How did those two things fit together!? They didn't!

Hermione abruptly tore the sight away from their googly eyes by pulling her arm away and covering it hurriedly as she sobbed and Ginny was wide-eyed and unblinking as she rocked her. She was thinking along the same lines as Harry, so was Ron. Draco on the other hand was considering how this had come to be instead of how impossible it was. She had said she was going out when there had been a ring at the door. They had never found out who it was but whoever it was must have been who brought her to the meeting. There was only one person he could think of who belonged to that circle who she would so readily go with and his mind could not let him even consider it...

"Did Snape do this to you?" he asked quietly and all the silent gawking eyes turned to him in startled surprise. They did not know what to make of his serious question and he looked at Hermione carefully who still had her face buried against his girlfriend's neck.

"Yes," she managed to say hoarsely and bitterly. Ginny let out a painfully loud gasp, her eyes flying open wide. It was impossible to her mind. Snape, mean and grouchy as he was, loved Hermione and she loved him back. She started to squeeze Hermione a little too hard but her flesh was cold and numb so she did not notice. Dumbledore had stayed silent for the most part letting her friends help calm her down. Familiar voices and benevolent faces were always welcome to the hysterical.

Harry's face started to burn crimson and Ron's began to turn from panicked to mimic Harry's. They were both filled with rage to the point of steam spurting from their ears or cooking a raw egg on their foreheads. How could they have been stupid enough to stand by and allow such a wrong relationship to fall through? Harry for better part felt he had betrayed Hermione because he had always owned a lingering suspicion he was truly evil. They could have stopped this, had they intervened. Hermione was their friend and it was their just duty to do so.

"All shall be explained once we transport Hermione to a safe place to rest," Dumbledore said quickly before they dragged out any more foul and bitter thoughts and memories from the distressed mind of Hermione. He looked to their faces and they looked up at him in return all with equally demanding looks (apart from Hermione still sobbing and shaking).

"Where will she stay?" Harry was the first to ask wanting nothing more than to be by the side of his second nearest friend. His features were pale and drawn and Dumbledore was sad to pick up that within the past few minutes each of them had matured dramatically.

"She will, of course, go into hiding," he elucidated and they all picked up the melancholy tone, "I have a house already set by which was intended for Malfoy." He nodded at Draco who blinked in reply. Taking a hand and fiddling with end of his silver beard comfortingly he took a deep breath before continuing. "She can take that house if you do not mind?" he asked Draco, raising a white brow over his gold-rimmed spectacles.

Draco frowned as if the question were offensive. "Of course not!" he snapped and Dumbledore gracefully ignored his disrespectful tone. But in a calmer voice, he continued, "I, however, have decided to take you up on your offer at last and will share the house with Hermione and no doubt the others will want to move in as well." Dumbledore and the others, for that matter, all looked surprised at his humbling act and the offer to move house, once again. But when they thought about it they did not need long to confirm that they were more than willing to move in with Hermione into her new home.

"Is that alright with you?" he asked the other three who nodded vigorously with wide eyes and he smiled at them, a smile with no mirth.

Dumbledore studied each of their faces. This was a mess he had had the power to prevent if he had seen the flaws with Severus' plan sooner. Severus was downstairs in his chambers. He had sent him away knowing that his face was the last one Hermione wanted to see. It was a fresh reminder of the pain that had been caused.

"Mr Weasley," he addressed Ron of all the others for the reason being that he was Hermione's dear friend and Harry would have too much to deal with to take on the duty he was about to ask of him. Ron turned to face the large overcrowded desk properly with a blank angry expression. "Would you mind being Draco and Hermione's secret keeper?"

Ron was startled at first, having that been the last thing he expected to hear but after a moment he gathered himself enough to answer with a still blank face.

"It would be no more than my duty as a friend," he replied coolly and blinked his unfocused blue eyes once.

Hermione heard this all clearly and the thought of hiding sounded the sweetest thing in the world to her ears. She exhaled softly against Ginny now that her breathing was calm. Her headache was nowhere near better and steadily getting worse. Hiding from the world... a dark room... a warm bed... all sounded so sweet and tempting as they never had before. But... if she were to stay in this house how was she supposed to complete her first stage of university?

As if reading her thoughts (for all she knew he probably could) Dumbledore spoke on the very topic. "Ron, you will have to bring Hermione all her textbooks and assignments for her to study from. I trust she is capable of teaching herself from textbooks?" Nobody answered because they were all waiting for the other to speak. The answer was not needed because it was obvious no one was more capable than her.

"Can I go now?" a quiet strained rasp came from the curled up figure in Ginny's arms and surprised them all. Dumbledore eyed her long and hard, in her loose undone blue robes looking more pitiful than ever, peering over Ginny's reassuring shoulder right back at him. Her brown eyes were raw and her cheeks regaining their blood in blotches and her lips still violently quivering.

"Yes, that would be wise," he agreed. Hermione was so relieved despite the new salty tears trailing down her cheeks. "But one final question... do you want Severus to be informed of your whereabouts?" He looked her in the eyes and felt sick to his stomach when she looked mortified and pale again.

"No!" she cried sharply. Her reaction was harsh and strong but if she was to even think his name she began to shake harder and feel clammy again. No. If Severus came within one mile of her vision she would break down into tears of blood. She could feel her heart bleed dry of love so quickly it was almost miraculous. The images of any happy memory with him leaked out of her heart until all she had of him to think of was the way he had seemed so tamed and doing exactly what was asked of him by the Dark Lord, even if it was to strip Hermione of her certainty and anything that kept her sane. She could not think of him by his name any more. The "Dark Lord" was a sufficient title and she finally understood the engrained fear of the Death Eaters.

The others were stunned, despite how obvious it should be how much she wanted to be rid of his face and his name. It added insult to injury for her. What should make them think such a way? It should be clear to everyone who had an ounce of sense that for the rest of her life she did not want to hear the name Severus Snape. Thoughts of him blackened her mind.

"Very well," Dumbledore finally said. "Mr Weasley, I will take you through the procedures and we shall leave immediately."

* * *

Hermione had immediately stumbled out of the fireplace and tripped over the grate and resulted in her crumpling to the floor despite Ginny's attempts to catch her. They had travelled separately because of their numbers by floo. Ginny stood by the grate waiting for Hermione but still she failed to prevent Hermione from slamming onto the carpeted floor of her new home, her hideaway.

Ginny was at her side in a moment, crouched with a hand on her back. Hermione took a moment with her hands crushed between her and the carpet and her ankle twisted, still caught in the grate. Her tears were beyond her control, she had given up on trying to stop them ages ago and hardly noticed as they continued to hotly kiss her sore cheeks.

Ginny watched her sadly and tried to hold back tears of her own. Hermione felt the comforting hand on her back but did not register it. Her face was barely off of the dusty smell of the matting and the entire world seemed so far away.

She struggled but did not want assistance as she used what little strength she had left to weakly raise herself by her hands and crawl away from the grate before attempting to get up.

As she forced herself up to a hands and knees position she felt the weight in her pocket slip out and fall to ground. She paid it more attention than anything else. Her arms trembled under her weight but she continued to struggle for power over her center of gravity. The friction burned her hands as she pushed herself meekly to her knees before allowing Ginny to haul her up.

The boys watched the pitiful sight uncomfortably as Hermione feebly got up with Ginny's help before stumbling forwards.

Behind her the fire once again flared up in whirl of emerald flames and when they lowered again Dumbledore was standing in its place. The boys turned their eyes away from the painful scene to the much easier on the eye of Dumbledore in his periwinkle robes. He stepped out of the fireplace calmly looking more downcast than Harry could ever remember and he had many memories of Dumbledore looking downcast.

He looked pointedly at Ron and then gestured with his hand in the direction of the front door, in view of the large room they were in. (The house was enormous but they hardly noticed for the situation). Ron blinked his blue eyes slowly at him then turned to look at the front door, blinked again then looked back at the weary headmaster. He had no power to register what he was implying.

"Follow me, Mr Weasley," he said patiently to the numb-brained orange-haired man standing frozen in uncertainty. He turned to Ginny holding up Hermione, who had her eyes closed and her head bowed. Her hair hung beside her face limply as she gasped for air and tried to clear her mind. "Miss Granger would be better off with the room up the stairs at the far end of the corridor on the left," he informed her and Ginny nodded. She daren't open her mouth for fear of crying as well.

Ron blinked again. He hardly remembered hearing the words that floated from the opening and closing mouth of his ex-superior.

He spun on his heal and robotically followed the gliding figure out of the door. They were soon trailed by the weak forms of Hermione and Ginny walking together towards the stairs. This left Harry and Draco alone in the new room, unsure of what to do where so much was happening and to stand silently, occasionally glancing at the other in doubt.

Ginny managed to find enough strength in her for both her and Hermione as she got the two of them to the top of the lilac carpeted stairs and down to the end of the hall... to Hermione's new room.

When Ginny stopped in front of it to open the door with a pale hand, Hermione eyed the door wondrously. This was to be her haven and she found both hope and relief in thinking here she would be safe. She could lock herself away and sleep until the day after tomorrow if she pleased, and that is exactly what she intended.

The thing swung open and Ginny heard Hermione sigh beside her even though she herself didn't know she had. One could hardly see into the room, the darkness from the closed curtains in the corner made it impossible. But despite the dusty smell of disuse filled her nose and the haze of dimness she could tell the room was large and spacious. There was the shadow of a large poster bed in the far corner and a desk to her right and that was all she needed.

Ginny took her arm away from Hermione's back slowly, pulling the loosely balanced robes further down her shoulders (not that she cared in the slightest). She stood straight feeling so frail that she couldn't be sure she would stay upright. But the fresh clean feeling that washed over her like the salty waves, stinging her yet purging the evil that chased her thoughts, left her able to walk by herself into the black fog.

Ginny followed her and shut the door behind them with a soft click that disturbed the silence like a bullet shot into the sky. It took both of them a minute to even recognise the sound. Hermione wandered over to the bed and stood before it, vaguely staring at it as if she didn't know what to make of it. Ginny on the other hand headed straight for the curtains.

Hermione turned around and looked at her friend in the dark brown shadows of the room and then blinked. She glanced at the curtains then put the pieces of the puzzle together. Her eyes widened a little then she pinched them shut when it stung so badly that she could swear the skin around them would tear.

"No!" the urgent hoarse voice of Hermione stunned Ginny into stopping mid-movement in walking to the curtains. She watched Hermione's dirty shadow carefully.

"Hermione," her voice had a pleading tone to it. She gestured to the covered window. "You need light. It's not good to sit in the dark..." Hermione looked away from Ginny to where the floor was supposed to be but it was too dark to see. Ginny was too much in shock to realise that it was in fact the middle of the night and opening the curtains would make not the slightest difference. Hermione's mind was in slow motion so she obviously could not figure that out for herself right now.  
  
She was not going to bother reply to that. She did not need light. It was perfectly fine to sit in the dark and even if that weren't the case she was willing to sacrifice the "good" that it wasn't to soothe her soul.

Ginny dropped the meek hand that pointed loosely at the window. She sighed. She didn't want to admit it because she knew it was not for the best but she preferred the dark too. Hermione kept her head bowed and once again her thoughts were swallowed, consumed by the burning on her arm. It was down to a dull throb by now but still emotionally painful and fresh. Her chin was close to the point of touching her chest and she gripped the mark on her left arm through the sleeve so intensely that her nails dug dents into her skin.

Ginny approached her but Hermione sensed something so acutely that she was at first unsure of herself. Her most simple train of thought had been violently disrupted. She could hardly count the fingers on her hands; however, she could acutely sense the emotional vibe radiating from Ginny. There was no doubt in Hermione's mind that if she stayed with her then Ginny would break down into tears. That would not help in the slightest; it would make her feel a thousand times worse if she was not the only weak one. She needed to be the only one suffering. Her friends shouldn't have to shoulder her personal pain, no matter how severe.

"Ginny...." Hermione croaked in a tone that implied a favour. She really was trying her hardest yet to speak properly and was slightly disappointed when her voice did not improve but it was like a drop of water in to the sea for her right now. Ginny caught the demanding manner of her voice. She looked to Hermione who was talking to her chest. "Could you get me some bandages and a safety pin to hold them together...?"

Ginny furrowed her red brows at this request before looking slightly panicked at the thought that she was a useless friend for not having asked what she was about to before now.

"You're not hurt are you?!" she gasped in alarm. She lifted her hands as if to shield herself from the bad news but Hermione had none to give.

She lifted her heavy, heavy head to look at the shadow of Ginny. She had her hair loose just past her shoulders and long straight bangs that were a visible outline in the dimness. Hermione was struck with the image of Ginny as a freckled eleven year old girl who she had occasionally confided in and over the years they spoke more and more together until they were close friends in the end. But now she felt so distant from Ginny. Who was the freckled round-faced little red-haired girl staring at her?

"No," she said for the second time that minute. She closed her eyes slowly and shook her head, her draggled hair flicking her face that had become so from tears, vomit and the strain of falling, stumbling and trashing combined. Ginny relaxed visibly and her frame regained some trace of relief which helped shatter the little girl reflection.

Hermione suddenly raised a hand to her head and pressed it against her forehead. Her headache had just let loose an enormous shooting pain that ripped through her brain. She rubbed her temples in a strained movement. What worse time could a headache come? But under what better circumstances could a headache form? She was unaware that she had lifted her left hand and as the huge blue sleeve slipped down to her elbow revealing her rolled up sweater sleeve and the bare skin of her forearm on which Ginny had a perfect view of the Dark Mark. This was another bonus for the darkness for Ginny did not see it.

"I want to wrap up that filthy symbol in my skin so that it may never see the light of day ever again..." she felt a little proud of herself for managing to give a further explanation that was not absolutely necessary.

Ginny understood to the maximum extent someone who was not the sufferer could. She turned on her heal (much better off not noticing the grinning skull but still very pale and shaky) and left without another word.

Hermione stood by the bed and watched her leave for the bandages but decided to wait until Ginny returned, helped her wrap up the stinging foul thing and left before she would pour her heart and soul into her tears.

* * *

Aaaaah!!! So depressing! Sorry! But this is what I promised in the summary and I have the full plan and everything so now I'm following my own strict instructions.

This is where I started my other story. I need something light to write when not in the mood for this because... as u can see... its getting thick now. I wanna change the ending so they'll just kiss and make up!!! (Damn this story is getting too large!) It's taking forever to write with my mind wandering to other things. However it will not prevent me from finishing this story. Btw: Evanescence is good to listen to with this.

This story was originally a short practice starting from a few plot bunnies and it's grown to this size! I have much left... your reviews really cheered me up! I got back to writing this story once more so never fear.

I just dipped into HP5 and saw that the storeroom is in his office not his classroom! But they must all be connected or else how would Hermione get to it to steal from it in her second year in such a short time? 

Anyway, nice comments always make me happy and opinions are always openly listened to and seriously considered.

A big tight bear hug, Snakecharmer. OOO


	19. China Spheres

Chapter 19: China Balls

* * *

I have been doing some serious rereading of the Harry Potter series and am deeply sorry to tell you I have been spelling Hogsmeade wrong (Hogsmead). – A tip – if u didn't already notice which I bet you did [i didnt cos Im stupid] – read the mirror of Erised's inscription backwards. (Erised - desire). It's like Under milk wood (I dunno if I got the title right) and his story set in the town of Llareggub (looks typically welsh but backwards... well even the teachers didn't notice – bugger all). And I must have overlooked it a million times because I don't recollect McGonagall's hair being black!

* * *

So far: (sighs – why did I think this a smart idea when I first started doing these?!) 

Hermione and Severus eat chocolate together in the castle grounds by the lake where it started... and Severus gets swallowed by the giant squid... (Just kidding, you didn't take me seriously did you?!)

In actual fact: Hermione is in a horrible self-conflict and suffering serious physiological turmoil after being burned with the dark mark (which Severus can be partly blamed for – indirectly, however he had the power to prevent it which in her eyes makes him totally to blame). She tried to push thoughts of him away because they blacken her mind. She and Draco are both now in hiding in the same enormous house (which has been sparsely described because too much has been happening for anyone to observe their surroundings yet) so, naturally, the other three decided to move in with their friends. Hermione (with Ginny's assistance) has wrapped her left forearm up in bandages so she won't have to see the... "thing".

* * *

A state of depression is by far the worst understatement that could be made for Hermione's current state of being. A depression was a mood that could be shaken. Who could shake fears and disbelief taking the form of crying fits and uncontrollable shaking? Not any normal person could such a thing but Hermione did what she could to vent her feelings. She even created her own little invention which she was aware had no right to the title of "invention". It was a simple piece of craftsmanship that took her few seconds to make and she spent hours of her time absorbing herself in creating these things until she had two crates full of them. Then she would decorate each one with a different pattern and color. It kept her mind sufficiently numbed and she did not need to think as she levitated her work and patterned it with her wand in the darkness of her room. 

She kept her curtains permanently closed but took the liberty (for the consideration of her eyes) to light several candles and place them in the few high steel stands around the room. That and the tiny hints of light escaping the edges of the curtains was enough to light the room enough to see by.

That night when they had first arrived and after Ginny had left her (with fresh bandages on her left arm) she had paced the room silently, still wearing her dark blue robes that were barely able to cling to the edges of her shoulders. Replaying what had happened clearly in her mind's eye over and over again she could still not draw any other conclusion as to what had gone underway than that Severus must truly have been evil all along. Who had she been kidding? A stupid little schoolgirl crush and he had taken it and exploited it as an excuse to use her. How could he love her in such a short time? She had been lost in her confusion and happiness to see that a man of his standards and coldness would not so easily allow himself to fall in love with the first student who fancies herself the same? She was an absolute fool.

But as much as she could convince herself readily that he had never loved her she could not say the same for herself. She pleaded with her own heart for it not to be true but when she pictured his face she knew it down to her bones and cursed the feeling. It hurt to imagine him. The pain he had caused her was beyond the extent which she could have ever prepared for.

He had turned her over to the Death Eaters and made her one of them.

After her wandering around the room in endless circles until she realized she must be tired she crawled under the covers (who cared if she changed or not – for tonight it didn't matter) and, with a weak flick of her wand, extinguished the candles. It was reaching early morning and outside, out of her sight, there was a small glow lighting the horizon.

Once it was total darkness she had stared blankly at it with unfocused eyes until the weight of her feelings once again became unbearable. She was already weakened from her last break down and the lingering hint of vomit on her lips reminded her of it. Her raw watering eyes were getting more and more painful with every hour and Hermione knew that when she woke (that is, if she ever slept) she would have a hard time peeling apart her lids once they fused together.

The soft thick feeling of sadness bled through her body until finally it reached her throat and soothingly, gently constricted it until she was choked with sobs that she tried to hold back. She swallowed repeatedly but the tightness was barely relieved and came back with a vengeance a moment later. Her eyes welled with tears until she gave in to it and cried with all the emotion that she had kept back from her tears before, into her pillow.

The morning had come. But in actual fact it was early afternoon and the other habitants of different parts of the house had already eaten a very uncomfortable lunch together. She did not know this because she had no clock. All her belongings were at 11A and she supposed sooner or later Harry, Ginny and Ron would go fetch them for the two hiding people.

Ginny had come up at ten that morning to bring Hermione breakfast but was not in the least surprised to find her fast asleep with her cheek squashed against the pillow and the red rings around her closed puffed eyes where she had been crying before. She watched her for a long moment with her hair a messy sprawl around her pillow and the curtains blocking out the screaming sun. Ginny felt her heart break for her friend all over again and had closed the door softly, careful not to disturb her.

Harry had been the one to try and bring her lunch but found her in exactly the same way as Ginny had described. He watched her for a moment too, feeling a useless and pathetic friend to be able to do so little. He had taken the full tray away but had come back several minutes later with a vase full of flowers he had bought from the nearest flower shop and put them by her bed. Color was something she needed. He meant well but Hermione would later scream and throw them at the wall where the glass vase would smash and the pieces fly. However it created a twist of fate in causing her to think up her new invention.

The others had sat uncomfortably downstairs directly beneath her in the bright white kitchen, eating. Well, one could not justify the motions as eating; it was more like pecking and prodding at their food before regretfully shoving it in their mouths and swallowing hard. They kept their heads bowed over their plates and the amount of time it took them to finish their meal resulted in their food being cold before it was even half finished. Ginny had made a comment dully about how she could not believe it. It was followed by a round of agreements from all but Draco who Ginny looked at pointedly. He explained that until recently he had never known Snape to be a spy and so it was not too surprising for him to think so badly of his professor. Ginny looked back at her plate feeling worse. She had encouraged the relationship and any meddling on the part of friends was totally down to her. What would Harry and Ron think if they found out she had known before they had and had even supported them?

The rest of the mealtime conversation (if you could call it as such) included planning collecting the stuff from the flat after lunch and then after that a sad silence fell through that lasted until one by one they shuffled away. The only sounds were the empty clinking of plates.

* * *

Decimus was getting restless. Watching his new master in such a state was disturbing the black cat. He sat perched on the edge of Severus' potions workbench with his elegant tail wrapped around his legs and with his keen pointed ears pricked up he watched Severus intently with his sheer green eyes. It rarely blinked and often flicked the tip of his tail to show his discomfort. 

He suddenly decided that watching his master was not going to drag him back to reality and pulled away his tail before standing. He arched his back to stretch the cricks of stiffness out.

After stretching out each of its paws in front of him, clawing at nothing, with eyes pinched shut and chest close to brushing the ground, he stood properly and looked around the room at all but its master for the first time in several hours. The time had ticked away slowly in the fire lit study. The height of the room seemed even taller somehow and the ceiling loomed over the cat and his owner.

Decimus moved away from the spot he had been resting in for hours and padded around stray pieces of parchment and quills strewn over the desk before leaping silently off of it, brushing dangerously close to the balanced vial of potion with his tail. His black silhouette flew through the air and landed softly on the cushions of his paws before trotting away, up to Severus' chair.

Severus sat in the only green chair, before the edge of the sofa. He had his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands, raven hair shadowing his features. He had sat silently and still this way for hours now and had absolutely no intention of moving again. What for? What reason did he have to live a normal existence? He had driven away the only thing worth while left in his life.

Through the gaps in his pale slender fingers he saw Decimus move up to him with tail and nose likewise in air. He blinked his sharp black eyes for the first time in what had to be at least a half hour. Decimus came right up to him and stood stiffly across from his shins as though waiting for Severus to move and make way for him to sit on his lap.

He didn't know whether or not he could find it in him to do so but somehow he pushed himself upright with a heave and leaned back against his chair. He kept his black gaze on the cat which in turn pounced and leapt up to sit in his lap.

It turned its slender body around and settled himself as a disk shape on his thighs. The weight of the cat was of little comfort but some was better than none. He was already starting to feel a little lonely without Hermione, on top of feeling like he had vomited every meal he had ever eaten. His insides were playing dangerous tricks on him. One minute he was sure there were a deep growing black hole swallowing him from the inside out and the next he thought he was so full of dirt that food was unnecessary.

The black warm fuzzy ball on his legs let out a satisfied purr despite the sad vibe pervading the whole atmosphere like smoke. How could he fix things? He pressed the back of his head against the chair. He had destroyed himself all over again. Was this the way his life was meant to be? A vicious cycle of self-destruction! Why was he the way he was?

He thought of Hermione, however painful it was to see her tear-streaked petrified face, and wondered what she must think of him now. It was without a doubt the end of a good thing. How could it not be? She had not been able to look at him and had been so scared she had vomited. How could she come up to him and kiss him as though nothing had gone wrong? It was a delusional thing to contemplate. She had to hate him and he must have driven away what good opinions she had held of him.

He closed his eyes, blocking the firelight, and listened to Decimus' soft droning purr. There was a sudden flash of a memory (as memories tend to do when under stress or sorrow) and he could remember clearly a short clip of Hermione's face grinning up at him as they walked arm in arm down the empty streets of Hogsmeade together. It was gone as soon as it came but the lingering feeling of the deepest worst kind of guilt remained and only grew, feeding on happy memories like algae.

It was his fault but it was not what he intended. He wanted to scream it out loud but he would never. He sat in silence with his eyes closed and the black cat camouflaged against his robes. He was pleading with himself he realized. It wasn't what he wanted; he repeated over in his mind trying to shake the guilt that was only adding to his list of horrid emotions. Poison felt more desirable than this! How was he to think straight ever again?

He was the foulest person he had come across, he realized. Was truly cold-hearted? He didn't want to believe it but he had let the smutty stain he had buried under his skin be imprinted in Hermione's too. He knew that this train of thought was going round in circles but he had no way to get away from it. 

Poison was starting to look rather tempting...

* * *

Hermione struggled to peel her eyelids apart, just as she had predicted, when she had woken early afternoon. They stung sharply at the freshness of the air. She felt flooded with the memories before she had even truly woken and they were growing clearer as she focused her gaze with her head forced into the pillow and her hair around her. 

The first thing she saw was the most horrid sight she could imagine. Had the light not been filtering through gaps in the curtains then she may not have had to see the disgusting cheerfulness of the bright yellow orange and red flowers grinning wickedly at her. She glared at them thoughtfully. Somehow these flowers appeared so evil and mean. They were sunflowers and red carnations and orange-ish poppies. What a vile assortment of spiky stems and vibrant acrid colors that bled into the softness of the rest of the room.

She closed her eyes quickly to block out the foul sight. For a moment there was darkness and sweet relief behind her eyelids before an image of Severus looking baleful and obedient as that... that... that – thing dug into her and hurt her in at least a million ways. Her throat squeezed and her eyes watered under the safety of the lids and finally a couple of tears broke away and salted her already dried cheeks.

At the thought of her mark the thing under the bandages pulsated and throbbed with the after-affects of its creation. She shuddered and a sob escaped her lips. She gripped her sheets so tightly her nails hurt and pulled them up over her mouth and pressed them hard over her lips to suppress any more stray sounds of sadness.

Her stomach was growling and clenched in hunger but food was so unappetizing right now that she truly did not care what her body needed.

What was the time? Surely it couldn't be too early because her shaking had fizzled out to a mere quiver every now and then at the thought of Severus. No. She would not think that way. That... name... was to never be thought of again. However it was the most hopeless demand she could make on her mind. Severus would rule her thoughts and control her actions for weeks, if not months (possibly years?) to come.

She slowly relaxed the pressure on her mouth and pulled away the stiff linen sheets of a color she could not place in such light. It could be grey or beige or even light blue. She was pretty sure she had a strong grip on herself and the tears stopped flowing so easily from her eyes. Well, by strong she thought she at least had a better control on her rocking emotions than last night.

Last night...

She shivered uncontrollably and her whole body trembled at the memory. It worked a little to shake such thoughts because her mind went totally blank for a moment as she stared at the nothing above her with wide brown eyes.

She had to get up. Her body was starting to tingle as a sign she had been in bed too long. She did not know the time but she knew that any longer in bed would result in a sleepless night and that was the last thing she wanted. Sleep was a valuable ally not to be driven away.

She dragged herself up and out of bed against the wishes of her body which ached in complaint. The sheets slipped around her and she finally trusted some weight on her feet. A painful sting ripped through her legs but she remained relatively well balanced. She wavered and stood still. A moment for composure left her able to take another step without her sight fogging.

But before she did, she stopped and turned back to her beside table. The flowers were still there, still bleeding unwanted color into the room.

Hermione stared and stared at the vile collection of flowers. It was several moments before she pulled herself out of that dangerously calm trance when she reached forward and grabbed the vase by the neck. She picked it up and felt the smooth clear glass that gripped her sweaty palms. She twisted it around, examining it and feeling its weight. She was looking at it with apparent interest.

Her features turned bitter as she scowled and lifted the vase before putting all her strength into hurling it at the wall. It flew slowly and crystal trails of water flew out of the rim. Hermione kept staring, panting slightly from the exertion, as the glass smashed into a thousand shards and flew in line with the wall in a ripple formation. The water splashed the wallpaper (or was it paint? Who could tell in this light?) and the flowers hit the wall with a satisfying yet pitiful splat.

Hermione straightened and blinked at the wet stain that looked nothing more than a dark patch. That had felt good. The sickening sharp sound of tinkling glass rung like bells in her head and Hermione looked around in slim hope of finding another vase of flowers to smash. Of course there was none other than the pieces rocking amongst the battered plants across from her.

There were sounds of thudding footsteps as she heard the others scramble and bound up the stairs to see what the matter was. She listened clearly but did not turn to face the door as the steps thundered down the landing.

She glanced down at herself and finally noticed she was still in her robes. She had to take them off. They reflected what she was and what she wasn't. But she didn't have time. As she halfheartedly plucked the front of her robes the door slammed open over her shoulder and crashed into the wall.

"Hermione!" panted Ron and she knew they were all in the room, though her eyes stayed lowered. "Are you - OK?" Ginny rushed right past him, roughly shoving his shoulder to get by.

Hermione dropped the hands feebly holding the blue folds of material. She sighed silently as Ginny came into view to examine her. Ginny wore a look of motherly worry under her red bangs and her solemn face depressed Hermione. She turned her head a little to the left to look away from her as Ginny calmly took up her hand and squeezed it.

"You're not hurt?" she asked in softly, trying in vain to catch Hermione's bloodshot eye. Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head and tilted it further to the left as Ginny moved in front of her. She looked as blank in expression as she felt this very moment; Ginny's observations were not appreciated right now.

The opened door over her shoulder let in more light than Hermione liked over the dusty dimness but she was willing to put with it until her friends left. She knew that if she wasn't careful she would become too distanced from them. She had to let them come in as long as they pleased (the logical part of her argued) however much she longed to send them away.

"What happened here?" asked Harry stepping into her sight from her left shoulder and right past her, to the smashed glass. She watched his cautious shadow numbly with her eyes as Ginny continued to grip her hand. He gave Hermione a tender glance before treading over to the beat-up pathetic pile of bruised flowers he had bought not a few hours earlier. He blinked his bright green eyes as he recognized them and flushed a little as he turned back to Hermione with a questioning frown.

She had to speak now. This was the part where she was supposed to open her mouth and excuses and explanations were supposed to pour out. But she couldn't pry open her jaw, let alone answer what should be an obvious question.

Draco, to her utmost relief, came to her aid (so he _was_ useful).

Hermione heard a crunching noise to her right and finally lifted her head as she jumped and she glanced over at what had startled her. Draco was walking his way through the glass pieces over by the wall with not the slightest consideration. He watched Hermione who was staring at him blankly, with cold grey eyes and nodded his understanding to her.

"It seems as though she threw her flowers at the wall..." he said blandly, keeping his gaze on the disturbed woman blinking back at him gratefully. Ginny swiveled sharply to the sound of Draco's voice and accidentally flicked her brother in the eyes with her red ponytail as he had been approaching.

Harry gulped and stared at the flowers for a long moment before looking back guiltily to his friend standing numbly, separately of her own strength. Hermione could read his emotions finely. He had bought the flowers. She felt a flicker of a pang in her heart but could not dwell on it. She was suppressing all her worst fears and memories (helped by the satisfying feeling of throwing the vase at the wall) from the previous night. If she dwelled on one little thing like this she risked being flooded with pain.

In fact she wished them gone. She wanted to break down into tears but she had caused them too much suffering already. It was her fault. If she had been intelligent enough to leave well enough alone to begin with then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Was it just some stupid little fling of her heart that carried her away? Her mind was playing more tricks on her than her heart was at the moment because her head began to spin again and the dull throb of a headache returned.

She lifted the hand that wasn't being wrung by Ginny and squashed it against her forehead to help divert the pain. At least this held back her tears safely. Harry noticed her distress despite the half-light. Ron was standing next to her eyeing the broken glass wondrously. It wasn't something he had expected of Hermione but in this situation... it should have been.

Hermione blinked at the smashed scene and the tingling feeling in her fingers where she had just held it a minute ago, unscratched. It was a peculiar feeling, but pretty soothing.

* * *

Harry heaved a box he had just packed by hand from Hermione's room. He staggered under the weight of it and his back bent dangerously backwards. His forehead glistened with sweat around his scar as he brought the heavy load (mainly books) into the main room. 

He placed it as carefully as he could, letting it fall the last foot on its own, by the sofa in the center of the room, by the only other box marked 'Ginny'. It landed with a loud hollow thud that sounded as though the floor was complaining. His muscles were aching already and he felt too warm. He straightened but it was a little painful.

He turned his gaze to the sound of footsteps from Ron's room. A floating box came gliding towards him followed by Ron strolling out of the room at a relaxed pace with his raised wand in one hand and a half-eaten éclair in the other which he took a large bite out of. Harry could have slapped himself and it took a lot of self-restraint not to. They could use magic now.

The brown cube hovered beside the one marked 'Hermione' and sunk gently to the ground next to it. Harry watched, frustrated. Ron looked up from his wand and delicious éclair to the sweaty and rather flushed Harry. He raised his eyebrows right up behind his orange fringe of hair. His blue eyes raked Harry's stiff form then, to Harry's annoyance, struggled to hide a grin. There was little to smile about at these times but in such an atmosphere of bright light, an éclair in one hand and Harry's stupidity – the urge to have some form of fun was satisfied (if only a little).

Harry glowered in the way friends were supposed to. Not for the first time in his life did Harry wish for a normal, peaceful wizard life. It seemed that that would never be.

* * *

Ginny returned with Harry, Ron and a pile of boxes. She didn't stay to help them sort them and put them in their proper places. She left them at the bottom of the stairs by the front door and went up to the second level. Harry and Ron watched her go but didn't stop her. It wasn't as though she was the most helpful packer. In the time it had taken for them to complete their own and each of the two hiders, Ginny had only finished half her own room. 

She trotted up the brightly lit staircase with one hand trailing along the banister.

Half way down the landing she stopped and glanced around. She could not remember too clearly which room was which. It was a satisfyingly large house. Was it the fourth or the fifth on the right or the left? She decided to take a chance with the fourth on the right first and twisted the knob carefully and peered inside.

Behind the door was a room she did not recognize: it was sparsely furnished and across from her was a large empty fireplace. It seemed as though she had found yet another living room. Before her (facing the fireplace) were pale grey comfortable looking armchairs and two-seaters. A fairly large desk-type table which she supposed was to be used for drinks or studying.

But even though this was not the room she had been searching for, she saw what she had been looking for. Draco was slumped in one of armchairs that sunk deeply at his weight and looked very snug. In his hand was a lowered book which he held in his lap but he was watching her calmly.

She slipped around the door and shut it behind her back with noisy click. Draco nodded his blonde head at her in acknowledgment and Ginny smiled unsurely in return. Her freckles had, recently, seemed to become more prominent on her pale skin.

"I've been waiting for you," Draco stated although the delight to see her was clear in the way he eyed her. Ginny came over to him, approaching him from behind. He snapped the book in his hands shut and followed her movements with his grey eyes.

"We got all the stuff. It's downstairs," she explained as she halted beside him. She bent down, brushed some of his blonde hair aside and planted a small kiss at his temple.

He waited until she had sat down in the chair next to his (taking a couple of seconds to marvel at its coziness) before he spoke again.

"There have been strange noises coming from Hermione's room since you left," he informed her. Ginny looked up with a start. Her crystal blue eyes were wide as they filled with worry. She gripped the edges of the armchair and the soft sponge was forced into almost nothing.

"Is she alright?" she asked quickly. Draco knew she was overreacting but it was in her nature to care too much. It would do her heart too much damage. He gave her an empty expression which actually would end up triggering the snowball effect because the lack of concern at her panic stung ever so slightly.

"I'm sure she is-" he started coolly but Ginny cut him off, frustrated.

"You didn't check on her?" she asked. Disbelief was the tone of her voice but her countenance was darkening a little. If he was truly worried about her then why didn't he go and see if she was alright? Draco blinked and raised his brows at her. Ginny appeared to be a little testy. He leaned back into the soft armchair and decided to drag out the pause before he answered, studying her composedly.

Ginny began to get impatient as the half seconds dragged by before he spoke. She was struggling not to feel angry. Maybe it was the tenseness of the whole situation weighing down on her so that the very small things set her off but she was starting to get irritated.

"No-" he was going to continue as to what exactly he had been hearing from Hermione's room but Ginny cut him off.

"Why not?" Ginny snapped. She was now on the edge of her seat and leaning close to the point of standing but stayed perched on the chair. Draco kept his brows raised. He would not dare point out that she was feeling a little temperamental. Ginny's face was now close to a scowl but not quite there yet. Her annoyance was as plain as her freckles and fire red hair.

"She does not need, nor I am sure would she appreciate, being checked on like an infant constantly," he said callously, with a hint of superiority. Ginny started to burn in her cheeks until she was the trademark Weasley red. She looked as though she had caught the sun in a bad way. She had picked up on his unfeeling tone all too clearly. Draco was starting to get irritated from her accusing.

"You could at least show a little concern for her!" she bit back and Draco was stunned by both the pure passion in her tone and the words that insulted him. He was definitely now irate and struggling for composure. He stiffened in his chair and stared at her. Ginny did not show the slightest regret of speaking her fears and was now completely glowering at him.

"Excuse me?" his tone was low and cold, "What more could you ask of me? Do you want me to hold her and rock her? Firstly: it is not in my nature and secondly: it would be inappropriate with you as my girlfriend. How can I win when both my choices are duds?" Ginny's blush had spread like a deadly rash and her whole face was on fire, hiding her freckles under the strong shade of scarlet.

"But you don't have to treat her like a stranger we picked up off the street!" she retorted hotly. Draco glared in return now so they were holding each others deadly gaze.

"I do not!" he spat. Ginny furrowed her brows even deeper and her knuckles were turning white from her lethal grip on the arm. "If you can recall I have not been... friends with her for long-"

"No excuse for you to treat her like vermin!" her voice an octave higher and steadily rising. Draco was enraged. He leapt up from his seat abruptly, book tumbling to the ground from his lap. Ginny almost started but kept her expression firm. He was radiating rage of hurt feelings from the very pores of his skin.

He took a step closer to her and bent down a little so that his face was in line with hers and Ginny was feeling poisonous and only a something she couldn't place stopped her from spitting in his face. She didn't know what had come over her. Normally she was quite tolerable but right now a simple greeting might result her biting someone's head off.

"Is that your opinion of me!" he hissed so icily Ginny felt a guilt somewhere underneath all that fury. The words actually touched the burning skin of her cheeks and cooled them very little. "You think so lowly of me that I may even have no heart?" his tone was barely above a whisper and bitter. He held her gaze with his steel colored eyes before Ginny turned her head away from him, unable to face him any longer without feeling awful.

She did not reply. She knew she should have spoken but her insides were alight with anger and she could give neither a positive nor negative answer without being uncertain whether it was true or not.

He straightened sharply away from her in disgust. He gave her a long hard stare which she did not return, keeping her eyes on the wooden table leg.

"Fine," he snapped suddenly, breaking the icy silence that had seemed as though it would last a good deal of time. Ginny looked up at him at last with no malice but curiosity and concern that he might do something stupid. He turned away from her as he spoke and she was forced to stare at his back, her mouth getting progressively dry. He strode over to the door and spoke over his shoulder. "If that is how you please it to be..." he said frigidly.

He flung open the door and disappeared through it. All Ginny could see was the back of his black robes as he left and then there was nothing more than the sound of his retreating footsteps, heading in the direction of the stairs.

Ginny shoved herself off of her chair too and hurried across the empty room to the wide open door and walked through it. She looked at the striding figure of Draco almost half way out of sight down the stairs then she spun on her heel and walked in the opposite direction down the hall, to Hermione's room.

She glared angrily over her shoulder as she stomped away down the dusty red carpeted landing. She lost sight of Draco but still glared and fumed, bright red in the face. Her fingers were curled into uncomfortable fists and her teeth were clenched tight. The only person right now who would not set her off like a Filibuster firework was Hermione who she could feel nothing but pity for.

There was a small muffled crash and tinkling sound and Ginny froze instantly, the look of malice dissolving from her face. It had come from Hermione's room. It must have been the noises Draco had spoken of.

She raced down the hall and her outstretched fingers had barely touched the metal of the door handle before there was another sound equal in every way to the one she had just heard. She grabbed the handle and tugged the door open.

Her eyes were immediately struck with the contrast between the brightly lit hall she was standing in and the almost darkness of her room that was kept from complete blackness by a few candles burning low in their high stands. It was that dark brown/grey fuzzy kind of dimness. Ginny saw that the curtains were still closed. The glow from the doorway she stood in created a prism of light that touched the floor.

And from where she stood, in her sea green robes, she could see Hermione's silhouette in the dimness. She was wearing muggle clothes. Her shirt was not long sleeved and revealed the wrapped bandages around her left forearm held together by a small safety pin. She was wearing a long skirt and stood with her back to Ginny, long fluffy brown hair (out of its curls) shrouding her shoulders. She was holding something out in her right hand.

Ginny stepped inside curiously and saw Hermione toss the thing in her hand into the air. It was a fairly small sized sphere. It spun in mid air then dropped back into Hermione's outstretched palm. She curled her fingers around it then pulled her arm back over her shoulder and lobbed it with all her might at the wall, which had white pieces of china sticking out of them in different places.

Ginny stood, floored. What were those things Hermione was destroying?

"Hermione?" Ginny asked unsurely. Hermione didn't answer and crouched down. Beside her feet, Ginny only just noticed, was a crate full of these things. She picked one out, a finely detailed one with ancient rune symbols on it.

"Hermione," Ginny started again, gulping a little in uncertainty as she watched Hermione chuck another at the battered wall and it smashed sharply. "What are those things?"

"Nothing," Hermione finally spoke and her voice sounded a little hoarse from misuse. She stood up again carefully and examined the sphere before tossing it straight up like the last to feel its weight. "Just some nothings... created to be destroyed." She spoke with a slight bitterness as if comparing herself to them as she swung her hand back over her shoulder and released it so that it flew into the wall. There was another shattering noise and Hermione sighed.

She turned around to look at Ginny but was forced to lift a hand to shade her squinting eyes for the brightness Ginny was standing in.

"Come in and shut the door," she ordered bluntly. Ginny did as she was asked, snapping the door shut behind her and casting the room back into a worse darkness. Hermione gestured to the bed for Ginny to sit on with her left hand, exposing her bandaged arm but not really caring.

Ginny wandered over to the king-sized bed. She sat down on it and it sunk a little under her weight on the edge. She placed her hands on either side of her and leaned forward a little, staring intently at Hermione. Hermione did not pay her studying much attention.

"How are you feeling?" she asked nervously, wondering whether it was the best question to ask someone in her situation. It turned out to be so because Hermione had plucked another ball and she clenched it tightly in her fist at the question before hurling it. She glared at the trailing blur as it flew out of her hand.

"Oh, wonderful," she snapped sardonically as the thing crashed and broke. The shards bounced down the wall to the floor. "Just peachy. I mean I have the most feared symbol burned into me forever and it turned out the man I loved who I risked loosing my friends over turned out to never love me back. Of course, I feel great!" Her last few syllables quavered and she felt that horrible lump come and block her throat.

"Oh dear," mumbled Ginny in a guilty panic. She shouldn't have asked. She bit her lip as Hermione struggled to fight back tears. She didn't want to cry while Ginny was here. She didn't want to cry, period! It was unfair the way something seemingly so nice had turned out to be so foul. "Hermione," Ginny started, contradicting what Hermione had said. "You did not stand the risk of loosing your friends. You should know us better than that. We will always stand by you no matter what..."

Hermione looked up hopefully and apologetically. "Thanks Gin..." But her expression was still numbly stuck in the form of solemnity. Ginny waved a hand to prove the words were nothing new.

"But Hermione..." Ginny shuffled a little, uncomfortably on the spot. Hermione looked at her warily. "About Snape..."

"Don't say his name!" she hissed and flung another sphere at the wall. It back-spun then shattered. Ginny looked guiltily at her lap but she could not help say what she had to say. She bit her lip for a moment and Hermione did not look back at her, facing the speckled wall with broken pieces sticking out in odd angles.

"Sorry..." she muttered. "But, Hermione, I think you've misunderstood." Hermione shot her a dark glance and looked away again. "I was certain he loved you too..." Hermione laughed a little but it was a horrid hollow sound. Ginny looked up in surprise at the noise, her blue eyes wide in mystification.

"No one was fooled more than I," she spat bitterly as she bent down to pick up yet another. Ginny felt a terrible churn in her stomach at her words and her bland tone. She gripped the china sphere tightly in her hand and looked to the bowed head of Ginny, with her red hair dangling around her. "Think about it Ginny... He was the last person in the world to fall in love just like that with comfortable ease. He was just using me like the piece of filth that he was and when Voldemort asked for me he did not hesitate to hand me over. I just got caught up in it, blinded by emotions... I won't ever let that happen a-gain," she finished by hurling the ball at the wall with all her might and it smashed so forcefully that Ginny was forced to duck as a piece flew right over her head.

She looked over her shoulder at the stray piece guardedly as she spoke again, worrying whether or not there would be any more close shaves. "But, Hermione..." Was it prudent to ask? She was dying to know. "Do _you _love him?" She turned back to look at Hermione with pure inquisitiveness. Hermione's blood went cold but she had expected this question sooner or later. She shuddered violently and glared at Ginny.

"I hate that vile snake and his hollow heart!" she retorted then totally betrayed herself by giving up her firm glower and sighing tiredly. She crouched for another ball and plucked it up gently and continued with exhaustion lining her tone. "But, yes, I love him." She looked away from Ginny's eyes resignedly.

A soft, almost silent sob escaped her lips and the ball slipped from her fingers straight down to the floor where it survived with nothing more than a split in one side. She quickly buried her face in her hands to hide herself from Ginny. Ginny reacted as she naturally would. She leapt up off the bed and was by her side in seconds, comforting her and stroking her bushy hair and Hermione failed to force herself out of this ridiculously weak state.

Hermione gave Ginny a half-hearted shove but Ginny stayed stuck to her. She was too distracted to know whether she cared or not.

She finally managed to find it in her to pull her face out of her hands and Ginny (smartly) stepped aside to give her room to breathe at last. She looked at Ginny vacantly with her eyes holding that look that simply broke Ginny's heart. It was the look of sadness mingled with slight fear at nothing in particular. She lowered her hands and swallowed several times before deciding herself to be up to speaking.

"Ginny," her voice shook a little but it was urgent as though she had been wanting to get it off her chest, "_that_ is what has been eating me up inside a thousand times more than this dumb mark... I HATE him so much," her voice was on the brink of breaking down into sobs. Ginny shushed her a little but Hermione waved her sounds away with her hand. "I want to hate him without missing him like hell..."

"Don't worry, Hermione..." Ginny comforted her as best she could but the advice she was about to give she was afraid of being a downright lie, "Time will help heal it..." Hermione lapped it up and nodded sullenly.

* * *

Sigh... Oh happy ending... where have you gone... [''im getting old and i need something to rely on...''] (thinking of a song - I'm not revealing the ending to you yet!) There is this one scene which I really want to get to! (Yes, it is happy, don't worry.) It's not the ending (although I like that too) but this thick stuff really puts me in the glooms. 

to tell u the honest truth - i havent totally completed chapter 20 (eech - im getting ahead of myself giving you this chapter) nearly have but I've got no more nuts stored from my holiday and day after tomorrow is school for the first time - ill be new and theres tons of work ill have to catch up on seeing as its my gcse year and they teach a different system so i have two years work to do in one year and good grades to get - expect the speed of uploads to go down from now (im sorry). U know, theres nothing I would like better than to write all day (except a real live Snape but lets face the odds).

Nice people cheer me up and make me keep writing!

Hugs (big tight ones to make you feel brighter), Snakecharmer

PS: ur all too nice! Blush Not a single flame yet!!


	20. Haunted Slumber and its Demise

Chapter 20: Haunted Slumber and Its Demise

* * *

"... If I smile and don't believe... soon I know I'll wake from this dream... don't try to fix me I'm not broken... hello..." Evanescence - Hello 

Go to – her official site. It has some gr8 stuff and information she didn't put in the books.

* * *

So far: 

They are now moved into their new hiding house which they will be staying in until Voldemort is gone. Draco and Ginny had a small... erm... "tiff". Hermione has found a small yet helpful vent for her frustration and confessed to Ginny what is really hurting her more than anything else (nothing more than the obvious). I almost left this story entirely at this point – left it for a week but then forced myself to continue and now I'm glad I did – wouldn't have bothered without your reviews so thank yourselves!!

* * *

And that was how she spent her time. 

Waking late afternoon and crashing into the bed covers at early morning, night had switched places with day. This suited her fine because she had all of a sudden taken an unusual liking to the dark. Curtains were folded shut over her windows 24/7 and the only light in the room was the dim glow from several candles spread sparsely around the room on high metal stands and on the corners of her wooden desk.

She never left the room. Never. She had a bathroom attached to her room. Her shaken friends would bring her meals up on a tray. They would try and engage her in conversation. She would answer bluntly and try and get rid of them, not wanting to talk.

The others hardly spoke among each other with the silent understanding that it wasn't time to talk about it yet. Barely a week had passed with no disturbing news from Dumbledore. It seemed that Hermione would not be missed until the next meeting where her absence would be noticed. They often heard smashing noises but didn't worry... they knew what she was doing and tried not let it get to them.

Ginny was a nervous wreck and she and Draco weren't speaking. It was peculiar. Draco had been accepted by Harry and Ron because of **her **but now he was speaking with them as though they were old friends and she was shut out by him coldly. She was paying for her moment of testiness. She jumped at the slightest movement.

Hermione didn't know anything, as she repeated to herself over and over in her mind. She couldn't feel anything at the moment. Her eyes were dry for tears. She couldn't cry any more. She just stared blankly at the battered wall as she hurled her "inventions" at it. She had regained a secure use of her muscles and body parts so she did not collapse or shake wildly if she so much as moved. She appeared normal in every way except for her eyes which looked so old and worn it was disturbing. They were still brown, still wide almond-shaped, but the shining sparkle of youth was long gone from them.

She would have thought, with all she had been through as Harry Potter's friend that she would have been better prepared for this or at least it wouldn't have such a strong effect on her. She had considered herself mature but was she really? She knew that _now_ she was. She was better off without thinking about things that had happened in her past. All of them were painful memories because they all led back to Severus.

She chucked a ball extra hard at the wall at the thought of him. How could he have DONE that to her?! Screaming didn't help – it just made her throat sore.

Just as the thing flew through the air and hit the wall, shattering into a thousand pieces, there was a soft knocking on the door. Hermione ignored it, knowing they would enter anyway. She sunk down into a sitting position on the side of her king-sized bed and watched the closed door. Her hair was a tangled fluffy mass once more and more disheveled and frizzy than ever before, for lack of care. She was sticking to muggle clothes, despite a wardrobe full of different colored robes in her size.

Now she was in a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt and watched the door blankly as the handle turned... the door opened a little forward, hesitantly... and then swung open fully. She blinked at the dazzling sunlight that flooded the hall and squeezed into her room at the opportunity. Her hands lay in her lap heavily and her shoulders were slouched forward tiredly.

Standing in the bright light was Ron who was tall enough to keep out most of the bright light. She recognized the sad look on his face but felt nothing for it.

He stepped into the room, large try with plates of food in his hands, and shut the door behind him with his foot by habit. They all knew by now to do so as Hermione wished. He was silent as he looked around the room and took a couple of steps over to the desk and placed the tray down on the corner of it, keeping his pitying eyes on Hermione.

He then turned back to her and walked over to sit on the bed beside her. Hermione could have rolled her eyes if they didn't hurt. This was the part where they attempted to drag more painful words from her mouth. She would act as she always did, if she could help it: short answers and strong hints of wanting privacy.

She could smell the hot food on the tray and it made her stomach churn and increased her nausea. She swallowed but it didn't help.

Ron sat down carefully beside her and looked at her. She looked back. What did he expect? His lop-sided friendly face was too severe to suit it. His expression was serious and curious. Curious... what did he want to know?

"How are you doing?" he asked nervously. Hermione wanted to let out a breath in a long hiss but held herself back. The classic most tactless question anyone could ask: how are you doing? She frowned slightly and decided to give him an honest answer.

"Terribly," she said hoarsely with a voice so quiet it was barely above a whisper. In her mind she had planned to snap at him. It came out so differently. Ron looked a little guilty and shifted on the bed uncomfortably, looking away from her for moment.

"Hermione..." he took a deep breath as though he had been planning how to say this and still didn't know how, "Look what's happened to you!" he finally said and the look of relief and anxiety on his face was a strong mingle of two feelings not to be mixed. "You haven't left this room for days, since we arrived! You have to work to get over this! Shutting yourself away in your room won't make it heal! Even your cat avoids you!"

He obviously was putting their friendship on the line to tell her this vital advice. He thought it was worth it and Hermione saw through it immediately. If she hadn't she might have found his words infuriating. He said it in a rush and gave Hermione a worried look and held his breath visibly as if waiting for the blow.

When Hermione forced herself to put on a very strained smile for the first time since this had happened, Ron was almost knocked off his feet (lucky he was sitting). He released his breath and frowned at her in confusion. It was a painful smile to observe, pulling the tired invisible strings in her cheeks to draw the flesh to either side. Her eyes stayed serious and untouched by the expression.

"What?" he asked uneasily, eyeing Hermione's scary expression with caution.

"I know you care," she started. Her voice was painful but she had to get the words out. "Thank you for trying to help... but I don't think forcing myself to sit in the brightness or talk normally will make it get any better either. All I wish is to sit here until I'm numb enough to emerge..." She sighed and looked at the floor. Ron seemed to be struggling to understand.

"You've just forgotten how the atmosphere really helps the mood. Bloody hell, Hermione, I just walk in here and feel depressed! At least open the curtains..." this was the farthest he had got to understanding Hermione these days and since he had scratched the surface he was going to try and see how far he could dig.

Hermione shook her head vigorously then stopped and pressed a hand to her forehead as though it had hurt to do that small action. 

"I don't want light. I can see fine. It helps block the memories..." she said quietly and talked to her lap, keeping her eyes on the floor. Ron looked at her hard from the side as if trying to see whether she was up to answering his next questions. He decided to risk it.

"What memories?" he sucked in a breath and held it to wait for her reply. Hermione kept staring at the floor for a moment before closing her eyes softly, lashes brushing her cheeks. Her hair hung in a fluffy heap around her face.

She took a deep breath before answering. "Severus," was all she said. Ron visibly flinched in the thin orange glow. His expression darkened at the name of who had caused them to move from what was looking out to be a reasonably great new life out of Hogwarts and come into hiding with their friend.

"What about him?" he asked coldly. Hermione ignored his tone. If he was going to ask, then he must expect an answer, whether it was what he wanted to hear or not.

"I miss him... I hate him and miss him... you don't know... he was wonderful..." Ron looked as though he was facing some horrible internal struggle of the most painful sort. He had asked Hermione not to discuss Snape with him but since this was something she obviously needed to get off her chest, was he willing to put old grudges aside? For his friend he would do anything, he concluded and grimaced as he thought so.

"T-tell me about him." Hermione looked up at him, opening her eyes, startled. "If you want to," he added hurriedly, to make clear that she didn't have to if it was too raw. She could see his grimace but his honesty as well. It was almost hard to look at his torn expression but Hermione really wanted to talk about it and if Ron was willing to hear she would tell. At last she was ready to tell...

"He... he..." she was at a loss. What could she say about him without imagining his face and his obedient expression...? "It was like we shared minds... we didn't need to talk to know how much we..." she choked and spat out the next word, "-loved each other. At least that's what I used to think... I don't know any more..." She took a huge sigh and closed her eyes again because they had all of a sudden regained their ability to overflow. She wondered if she might cry again. "I told myself I loved him... But I never truly knew who he was, did I?... In such a short period of time I got convinced I had found what I wanted... did I? Did I really?... I had no right to make such a judgment... I didn't mistake infatuation for love... I see that now... I just fell in love with someone who didn't exist and all my affections fell to him... He took them without asking questions and used me... that's what he did... But why do I still want him here to comfort me?" She shuddered and pinched her eyes shut tighter.

"He'll get what he deserved... don't worry..." he said comfortingly to try and console her but it had the opposite affect as she stiffened and her eyes snapped open. She turned to stare at Ron looking horrified, eyes wide and countenance drawn.

"You're right," she said with distinct panic in her tone. Ron didn't understand what there was to worry about. Hermione began to visibly shiver for a moment, looking horror-struck.

Without warning she buried her face in the palms of her hands to hide a fat tear leaking down her face and began to tremble harder as she sobbed. Ron was stunned for a moment before he did the most natural thing that came to him; it was what his mother always did whenever someone cried.

He pulled her closer in a warm embrace by an arm at her back and Hermione gasped before leaning into her friend for security. She held onto him weakly as he held her and sobbed uncontrollably into the robes of his chest. He was uncomfortable and didn't know what had set her off. While she let out some more of the pent up emotions, he cast a look around the room. It was still gloomy. The desk had a small pile of books on it beside the tray of food (that was stinking the whole room).

At length her sobs grew more and more apart until it was down to hiccoughing ragged breathing. Only once she was silent did he speak.

"What's the matter?" he asked her concernedly and Hermione kept her face hidden from his view, against him. He could feel her struggle for air for her reply.

"What's V-Voldemort going to do t-to him when I don't show up for the next meeting?" she stuttered into his chest then let loose a quiver of revolt. Her face was going blotchy from crying, rapidly. Another bout of tears threatened to consume her. It was all she could do to stave them off with deep quaking breaths as Ron was lost in confusion.

He wanted to open his mouth and repeat that he deserved it but her reaction was hard to understand. She was crying over his punishment? After all he had put her through... He could not comprehend. And then he saw how distraught she was. Maybe it wasn't the mark alone that was hanging over her... He didn't want to consider it. He had done everything in his power to avoid thinking of Hermione and Snape together...

He could feel the texture of the bandages she wore on her arm at his back and felt a fresh surge of hatred. He really was a slimy git... he just hadn't realized to what extents. He had tricked Hermione into this. What the hell did Dumbledore think he was doing fraternizing with scum like that?!

Turning back to the problem at hand (Hermione crying against him), he did not have any words of comfort in defense of that greasy bat so changed the topic. He had some news for her that might cheer her up.

"I've been in contact with Jemma College and they said I could collect your first assignments in advance and I have the list of books recommended as well as plenty extra books to read on the side. I specifically told them you love to read and I have a nice large list..." Only Hermione would be cheered up by the thought of tons of work. She stopped shaking and it seemed as though she was considering his words.

"Really?" she said hopefully, finally leaning back from him a little. He grinned at her and nodded. The corners of her lips pulled back into the closest thing to a real smile yet. It gave Ron a new kind of hope and he felt better than he had all week.

"Yeah... you can sit and work until you drop!" he told her enthusiastically. Hermione squeezed him once tightly before letting go. "Just promise to bring your book downstairs to read sometime... it's really a nice house..."

"Ron... you really are a wonderful friend."

* * *

Ron had left with hopes that she was on her way to some form of recovery and Hermione had watched him leave feeling like he was taking some of her fears and heavy thoughts with him. She realized, the second he closed the door, that hiding away could not accomplish anything. She knew she didn't much feel like anything else but looking around the room she found his judgment to be correct. It was pretty gloomy. 

She, without feeling completely dragged down and useless, withdrew her wand from her pocket carefully, gave it a glance and then pointed it at the curtains. They flung themselves open immediately under the wand's command and swung limply in their place. The outside light of day spilled inside gleefully in torrents through the enormous window and in a moment the room was filled with it. She had squinted at first but didn't close them again.

It actually made her feel very light-headed for a moment and if she hadn't been sitting cross-legged on the end of her four-poster bed then her vision may have clouded from the dizziness. But as it so happened nothing resulted other than a new emotion... well... maybe it wasn't new but it was a fresh sensation after all that sorrow and depression. She was still feeling like a heavy weight was placed on her heart and she still struggled to breathe normally but... there was a small ray of hope for a normal life making itself clearer.

She took a deep breath and then turned and pointed her wand at the candles around the room in turn sharply. They all snuffed in turn under the wand and when they were all out she withdrew her arm and put her hands, one still clutching her wand, in her lap between her folded legs. The room actually looked a lot more comfortable in the light than the dark. She gazed openly around the room with a wondrous expression. How could she have missed the wall color: a deep blood red that was a lot brighter when the sun hit it. The bed covers were sea green under her weight. It was a fairly large room with plenty of space and she was surprised to see that there was a muggle light switch by the door. How could she not have noticed that in over a week in this room?

She supposed this must be a muggle house then. How had the others managed to figure out how the oven and appliances worked without her? Then she remembered Harry. Dear Harry, who had fallen once for the wrong person and had the best heart she could hope for in a friend; how had he taken this news? She had been so wrapped up in herself she had no idea what everyone else was feeling. Why had Ginny been so shaky recently?

She was so behind in what was happening around her. It was as if life had started to move without her. She had to catch it up, even it was a strain on her heart. She would not, could not fall behind. She didn't even know what the house looked like!

Turning her head to her right, to look out through the ceiling to floor window, she saw that the sun was sinking in the sky and the half cloud-line was tinted a very pale pink. She frowned at it in confusion. Was it sunset already? But she had only woken up a few hours ago... Had her sleeping pattern gone so far astray?

Maybe she would force herself to try and get it straight again by going to bed at a more respectable time tonight. But not yet.

She turned back from the window to stare at the red wall facing her with apparent interest before throwing herself backwards onto the soft bed, wand still gripped in her hand, comforting beneath her fingers. She collapsed, splayed across the gigantic covers and the weight of sorrow pressed in on her from all sides, as usual. But for once, despite all the heaviness on her chest, she could breathe freely and normally. It was peculiar and heartening.

But one less elevating thought struck her: time didn't help heal the wound; it just numbed and smothered the pain. She blinked up at the ceiling and Severus' face swam into view behind her eyes. How would he be feeling?

* * *

Severus, to say the least, was having a terrible time. Torn between self-hatred and misery he was in a completely different state as he had been when Stella had died. 

Speaking of Stella...

He shuddered in his green chair by the put out fire. His face was paler than usual between his lank black hair and he was thinner than ever. One thing that differed now was that he could think straight. He couldn't sleep and had more time to sort through his never ending dilemmas.

He was sitting in his last winged green armchair with Decimus curled up peacefully on his thighs. He was purring contentedly, finding nothing to be miserable about. Occasionally his pointed black ear would twitch and his tail flicker. He didn't appear to be aware of his master's despondency. Severus was frowning, his right elbow propped on the arm of the chair and his chin held by his fingers. He was more than frowning, glowering into the unlit fireplace as he tried to sift through everything.

He had been given more to regret and keep his mind worked to last him an eternity. Lucius... that prick... had sent him a guiltless confession of something else in a letter that congratulated him on Hermione. How dare he give his approval! He had stated how he was glad that he had managed to turn a possible weakness into a strength and more similar evil bullshit. It made him bristle in fury when he had read it and sting with pain at the loss of Hermione... until he had got to the part about Stella.

His sister... always there but in the background. Why hadn't he spoken with her sooner before her demise? That's another regret to add to that growing pile about the size of a mountain. What did it matter now? What affect would it have to feel bad other than to depress him further? He would leave that regret for later.

Anyway... her disapproval of his Dark Order business obviously was noticed by more than himself. He should have seen it coming, should have warned her. She was a... weakness. Weaknesses had no place in the Circle and Lucius, forever the concerned friend, did Severus the grand favor of disposing of her – having noticed he himself was too attached to do the job. To cover his own trail he had used a poison Severus was well familiar with. It was so sweet, so simple. _Why hadn't he noticed the pattern? _Too late now. Oh, how badly he wanted to get Lucius alone in a room and then do as he wished with him.

The muscles in his shoulders seized up in rage and he clenched his left hand into a fist. His fingertips pressed into his palms painfully but he took no notice. Decimus continued his droning purrs and Severus ignored the cat as much as the cat ignored him.

More than anything, any other wretched emotion, he missed Hermione. Dumbledore had been to check on him several times, never telling him where Hermione was. He was aware that Hermione had moved. He had apparated to her shared apartment and found it to be deserted. He had done that the very next day and now... now it was ten days... ten long never-ending days which he had barely survived. Dumbledore had told him this much: Hermione had bestowed her whereabouts in the form of Weasley by the Fidelius Charm.

All he needed now was to find Weasley and ask for her hiding place. If he had any brains (and this he seriously doubted – resulting in serious flaws to match) he would understand how necessary it was for him to speak with Hermione. But Weasley was apparently staying in the house which he was concealing... where else could he find him?

* * *

Hermione's change did not go unnoticed. Ginny had been ecstatic and despite her kind words and cheerfulness, Hermione saw more than ever how shaken and nervous Ginny appeared to be. She spent the next hour worrying for her friend more than for herself. But after coming to dead ends and deciding that at the present time she could do nothing for Ginny, she had retracted back to a floating kind of self-pity and misery. 

The sun set slowly and Hermione decided to leave her curtains open for the night; she worried that should the morning come she would change her mind and not want to open them.

Lying, still and pale as death itself and just thinking, she sat there until the fading light left her room entirely. She hardly noticed as the color around her changed from white to orange to a light pink to a dark purple and slowly to the color of her Death Eater Robes, now sitting a shredded pile of material ripped to pieces under her bed along with the incredibly bent mask she failed to snap in half. Only once when she blinked did she realize that the day had simply melted away and it was now black in her room.

Staying sprawled, she had jabbed her wand in the direction of candles which burst back into life. She could see the room again and to her right the window stood, revealing the stars and a large expanse of uninhabited land that looked much like a meadow or field surrounded by an expanse of trees. It was hard to tell... all she knew was that there was a lot of space.

The frustration had softened.

She didn't feel completely helpless and her body wasn't weighed and fused to the bed beneath her. She felt physically fine, for the first time since... since the ceremony. But her head was still spinning, fuzzy with pain. It was a huge improvement from not being able to breathe. But the sorrow still squeezed at her brain and if she considered it too much it would squeeze at her chest.

She closed her eyes and stilled the image of Severus, snide and cold bearing down on her in the classroom. The time she had slipped and fallen – the rush to her head when he had helped her up. What an inexplicably frustrating feeling it was now. What was once pleasant was now hurtful to recall.

She stayed in her jeans and t-shirt sprawled back onto the bed, wand in her hand, hair a messy puddle of a pillow behind her and a serene serious expression as she kept her eyes loosely closed.

Thinking of the time when she had been so certain of her own warped happily-ever-after she didn't notice when she fell asleep. Her thoughts melted and bled into her dreams in smudgy colors to make it impossible to tell which was which anymore.

She woke with a start in exactly the same position she had fallen asleep. Her eyes snapped open and for a moment she didn't realize she was fully clothed, something clutched tightly in her cramped right hand, half hanging off the bed. Her eyes were painful and it felt as though they were puffy and sore from dried tears. Had she cried in her sleep?

She blinked and frowned at the white ceiling in confusion then it came back to her.

The light that filled the room was a hued baby blue of the rising sun and she must have woken earlier than ever because of the strange new amount of light. Her heart leapt into her throat and her pupils constricted as she realized all that had happened and she gasped softly. Then everything settled down: her heart returned to its normal place and she released the breath swiftly. She watched the ceiling for a moment longer and then glanced out of the corner of her eye at the rest of the room.

The candles were still alight and down to liquid stubs in their holders. The flames flickered feebly and she decided to let them put themselves out. But what caught her eye was something on her desk that had definitely not been there last night. The tray of uneaten food had been removed and in its place was a stack of thick books and a small pile of papers next to them. A pile of new quills and several ink bottles of different colors were organized neatly at one corner of the desk. They must be the books Ron had told her about. He had gone to get them for her... He really was a good friend.

She closed her eyes shortly as she put all her strength into sitting upright. Her muscles were stiff but refreshed. They needed stretching. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her new room that she had already grown attached to but her legs and shoulders were taut, however, it was nothing compared with the squeezing cramp in her right hand which held the wand she had held onto through the night.

It was after she noted these pains in succession that she realized something was amiss. She sat upright now, legs still spread out before her, as she puzzled the thing she had forgotten. It came to her in a horrid jolt to her memory. Her left forearm... under the bandages... it was supposed to sting, supposed to throb... But as she mentally prepared herself for the dull ache she had so blissfully forgotten, none came.

She looked down warily at her bandaged arm. The thin meshed material had been a distinct white before but where now down to a pale grey from neglect and several soakings in the shower. It was perfectly calm and no blistering heat emanated in waves under them.

At first Hermione wasn't sure if she hadn't simply lost the ability to feel pain but the spasm in her right hand proved that theory false. She shrugged it off and proceeded to clamber over the end of her bed almost getting swallowed in the sinking softness of it. She escaped the comfortable clutches and her feet managed to support her weight, though her muscles did not quite agree.

Alright, she would go and explore the house. But first... breakfast. Her stomach was contracted tightly into a twisted knot from lack of food. She had neglected her lunch and dinner because she had not wanted them. Now she had no particular problem with a good sized muffin and the growling from within her convinced her to go downstairs. She could not expect to wait for the others to bring it up to her.

She put her left hand to her stomach as if to soothe it and with the other hand she slipped the slender piece of wood into the pocket of her unchanged, creased jeans.

Her hair fell about in a misshapen unkempt mass of curly brown frizz and her expression remained eerily grim as she walked over to the door, casting the books a longing glance as she went.

She grabbed the handle and, with a deep breath, flung the door open towards herself, to see what lay beyond. She could hardly remember the trip up to her room, being a colored tearstained blur in her memory. It was brightly lit, even brighter than her room, and filled with doors all the way to the end of the landing at the beginning of the stairs. There must have been about twenty rooms in all on this floor alone. If they were about the size of her bedroom, and judging by the spacing, they were, then the size of the house must be enormous. If Dumbledore hadn't been setting this house aside then she was certain they would have ended up in a cramped disused space like number twelve Grimmauld Place.

She crept along the empty landing, eyes wide as she took in everything from the size of the windows to the hanging tapestries. What would Severus think of this place? She pinched her eyes shut tight and shook her head to try and shake the thought but all she managed was to make the dull ache in her skull grow. She couldn't think of him. Not now. Not ever. She was going to go downstairs for breakfast and some useless hurtful memory wasn't going to stop her.

She took a deep breath that heaved her chest then opened her eyes again.

She took her time going down the stairs with a hand on the banister. She still didn't trust her own body yet and the last thing she needed was to fall down the stairs and break something.

The downstairs was just as large and spacious as upstairs, if not more so. There were fewer rooms that were much larger and from a glimpse through a half closed door she saw one enormous room with chandeliers and candelabras and a fusty classic atmosphere with gold embroidered scarlet cushions scattered all over the floor where the chairs should have been. But, ruining the Victorian atmosphere completely, was a large muggle cinema spread across the wall at the opposite end of the room. It didn't look as though anyone had used this room at all.

She kept walking straight past it despite her curiosity because her stomach let out an angry growl and there was the smell of warm breakfast cooking coming from the room directly under hers in the position of the house. There was a silence coming from the room and for one moment she worried whether there were house elves here that had been making her meals instead of her friends. But upon closer approach she heard mumblings of the familiar voices and the chink of knives and forks.

She approached the tall white painted door and hesitated before pushing it open. The weight of the door was incredibly heavy, or maybe she was just incredibly weak after not moving much for a week and a half. It swung open and instantly there was silence followed by a loud collection of clatters and splashes.

Ginny was sitting at one end of the table with a knife, applying butter to her toast. Her hand was still loosely held in the position to swipe even though the knife had clattered out of her grip as she stared at Hermione in disbelief. Hers wasn't the only to drop. Ron had lost hold of his spoon which landed in his cereals, creating a tidal wave of milk and bits and splashing flecks up into his face. He hardly noticed the mess. Harry dropped his empty plate, he had been setting down, into the sink with a noisy clank.

They were all gawping at her and she should have expected it. The only one who didn't drop his cutlery and only appeared mildly interested was Draco. He looked on her with surprise in his silver eyes. His gaze was purposely avoiding Ginny's. If she were to apologize then he would not mind; he was starting to feel bad without her, not that he would ever admit that to her without said apology.

Hermione looked around the room. She was met by Ron's milk-streaked face surrounding his bright blue eyes, Harry's stunned expression and Ginny who looked horribly torn between miserable and overjoyed. She hardly picked up on how Ginny and Draco were sitting as far apart as possible. She was still feeling slightly dizzy.

She moved forward into the room and let the door swing shut behind her. A silence ensued that normally would have made her very uncomfortable but right this second she only had two things on her mind: breakfast and Severus. The latter had no place in her thoughts but the concentration she paid to banishing it took up too much of her mental energy.

"Hermione!" gasped Ron at last, sputtering and splaying flakes of bran and specks of milk. Draco eyed him with mild disgust as Ron used the sleeve of his blue robes to wipe his face free of his breakfast. "What would you like to eat?" his voice was muffled by his sleeve but still enthusiastic. He raised his red brows at her questioningly as he squashed his cheek up his face roughly with his clothed fist, removing spots of milk.

Hermione wanted to grin at them to prove she was feeling better but she couldn't manage more than a meek flicker of the corners of her mouth. Ginny looked dead proud of Hermione for making it down the stairs and Harry still had a hand hanging in the air over his dropped plate as he watched her, making sure she truly was there.

"Anything you've got," she replied, looking to each of their faces, "I'm starved..." Ginny beamed at her and Harry broke out into a grin of relief that threatened to touch his ears.

* * *

Ginny felt it was nothing less than necessary to drag Hermione around each room in turn now that she had regained the precious ability to move around. She did not consider for a moment that forcing her to see every room would make her want to crawl back into her bedroom and lock the door. 

Luckily it did not have this effect, although Hermione made a lot of verbal protests about seeing the whole house in one go. She argued that leaving rooms a mystery gave her something to do over her time she was to spend in this house. Ginny would not hear a word of it. Hermione gave up in the end and let herself be led from room to room.

She had to admit that the size of the house was to extents she had never seen in anything less than a manor. What she wanted to see was the grounds but that was impossible today. The clouds were bursting with explosions of rain that showered down in deadly pellets, shaking the glass in their window frames. The sky was dark gray and Hermione kept shooting longing looks at the howling spattering scene through the shivering windows every time they passed one in the hall.

She was convinced that in the end, even though Ginny will have shown her every room, that she would still have to explore this house because there were too many rooms to remember their location and contents. No two rooms looked the same.

Ginny shoved open door after door, likewise shoved Hermione into the room with equal force and explained who used each room most, what purpose they served (though this was already obvious) and even stumbled across a few new rooms herself too.

It was now a full month and a week since they had moved in and Hermione was regaining control of her tear-ducts steadily but surely. Severus face still loomed over her in bed at nights when the lights went out and Hermione had grown to fear the dark. The blackness actually did the opposite of what she had thought it did and dragged up cozy images of snuggling by the fire that induced a fear related fever.

Morning came and she could use all her concentration to push him aside from her present thoughts but he lurked in the back of her mind, haunting her.

Hermione was pushed into yet another room and to her surprise found it to be full of muggle mechanisms that took a split second to recognize as gym machines. There was a treadmill and a bike and many arm and thigh machines and she suppressed a faint smirk when Ginny informed her with a confused frown: "I still haven't figured out what this room is for yet..." and gave it a glare to make it a challenge of hers to figure out what this odd shaped pieces of metal were for.

But she had still not spoken properly with Ginny all the time she had come up and sat perched on the end of her bed while Hermione either studied or read. Ginny would stare out of the window, with no purpose other than to keep her company for the many hours she spent bent dangerously close to parchments, quill scratching and flowing over the paper.

She had asked, halfheartedly, why she did not spend her time downstairs. Surely Draco wanted to see her. Ginny went misty-eyed for a moment but her tone was eerily convincing when she replied that she spent plenty of time with Draco and that Hermione was a priority.

Another door.

Would they never stop? Hermione kept her eyes closed this time when she was frog-marched inside by a forcefully light hand at her back.

But when Ginny did not speak, giving her usual commentary, Hermione opened her eyes in confusion. She twisted round and looked over her shoulder at Ginny's face. Ginny had gone slightly rigid and stared at the room before swallowing harshly. Hermione looked back in the room and found nothing to fear. It looked quite cozy, a room with squashy grey armchairs and a warming amount of sunlight.

Glancing back at Ginny she was surprised again to find her turning to leave. "Lets go," she mumbled to Hermione as she did.

"Wait a minute!" Hermione exclaimed, catching Ginny by the wrist. Ginny had been everything she could ask in a friend to her. She had to return the favor and at least find out what was so distressing about this plain room. Ginny looked up from the hand on her wrist, to the grey bandages around her arm and then up to her weathered eyes.

Hermione blinked. Ginny's blue eyes were watering.

"Are you ok...?" Hermione asked softly, bending her head a little to keep eye contact as Ginny looked at her toes. Ginny began to nod vigorously then stopped abruptly. Very slowly she shook it and kept staring at the floor.

...

Hermione did not want to feel worse. It was the one thing she had thought would destroy her... but after hearing what Ginny had to say she was left with guilt. She had been selfish and self-pitying enough to think that no one suffered as she did. To be sure, Ginny's troubles did not match up to hers but they brought her back to the realization that she was not alone. Who else knew her extents? No one she could think of but if they could pull themselves through enough to walk and talk and appear normal then she was either weak or a coward.

She had left Ginny in the room, feeling fuzzy-brained and heavy but refused to let herself succumb to any wish to sleep away the hours.

Ginny seemed for the better with the knowledge shared and a valuable piece of advice for her to mull over ('Just go and talk to him. You know he's too proud to approach you himself. I'm sure he misses you...').

She cast a glace over her shoulder and returned to her bedroom.

* * *

"Hermione!" Ron called up the stairs. 

Ron's brows were pulled together into a rough frown of confusion and seriousness that followed a peculiar incidence. In his arms he cradled a heavy stack of books and several parchments. He didn't know what to make of what had just fallen through. All he did know was that Hermione needed to be the first to hear. "Hermione!"

He heard a far off door creak open and followed by soft footsteps across the landing. A moment later Hermione's head appeared over the banister gazing down at him questioningly. Her eyes were a little bloodshot and it looked as though it had taken a lot of willpower to move so far.

"What is it?" Ron would have preferred her to snap at him than to sound so awfully strained.

"This is urgent. If you tell me now then I can go back and fix it," he said very quickly then took a deep breath to illuminate further. "Do you want Snape to know where you are?" and the moment of utter bewilderment cleared. Hermione's frown of confusion between the hanging curtains of hair, from bending over to look directly beneath her at Ron, turned into a bitter scowl.

She shook her head vehemently and Ron visibly relaxed. Hermione continued to scowl, first at the large stack of text books and parchments in his arms and then at his words.

"What do you mean 'you can go back and fix it'? Fix what...?" she said cautiously. Ron's hair was ruffled and windswept. He must have been out and the books in his arms were on her subjects. The torn look on his face expressed that he was clearly unsure of whether to tell her something.

Shifting the books in his grip he took a deep breath and Hermione (who was beyond the point of caring) prepared herself for yet more horrible news. Anything he told her would be overshadowed by her pathetic delusional story, the reason for her suffering.

"Snape found me... I-er..." he faltered at the expression on Hermione's face. She was staring at him like she dared not believe what she heard and her cheeks where paling to a ghostly white. She didn't speak so he continued. "H-he wanted me to tell you that he... er... that he needed to talk to you," he tried to wrack his brains and see what the exact message had been. "-and that it was an accident... or something like that... But I didn't give him the location!" he added hurriedly as Hermione paled drastically to the point of retching.

"W-where did this happen?" she stammered, forcing herself to ask the questions that needed answering. Ron looked up at her warily as though he weren't sure how much more information she could handle.

"At the University. I was collecting some more books for you. The extra ones, see..." he added, shifting the books again, "And he approached me... well, kind of cornered me... and demanded to know where you were-"

"And what did you say?" she said sharply, refusing to blink in case it were a dream. She was tottering on the edge of the landing banister, without much concern, to hear what Ron would tell her next.

"I told him to shove it someplace dark..." he gave her a cautious grin, thinking this piece of knowledge would cheer her up some.

Hermione pulled herself back from the banister, out of Ron's sight. If he could have seen her face if would have been that blank appearance of emotional torment as she struggled between the logical part of her telling her she should be proud of Ron for doing what a friend should and the other part of her aching uncontrollably as she imagined him coming after her, demanding to know where she was. She wanted to see him but knew she couldn't bear to.

In a moment her feelings twisted and changed. Her fingers on the railing curled tightly around the wood. Her blank face contorted into tense lines of rage. The evil prick wanted to find her and convince her to come back to him so he could keep using her! She hoped to the finest thread of flesh within her that he was suffering, suffering worse than she was. It would only be justice. She hoped Dumbledore had seen fit to fire him and hand him over to the ministry. Dumbledore may be forgiving but something like this can't be overlooked.

A soft mewing behind her brought her back to earth so fast that she felt she might collapse. Her knees went weak and she clutched the handrail tighter. Regaining her composure, she looked down at her feet. Crookshanks had wrapped himself around her ankles, tip of his tail flicking ominously as he stared up at her, head cocked to one side. He opened his mouth and mewed again.

It was the first time she had seen Crookshanks since they had arrived at... what was the address of this house? She had no idea. She had to catch up on a lot. His appearance threw all hatred from her mind abruptly.

She blinked down at her cat who stared up studiously. Without another thought she bent down and picked the fluffy orange bundle up by the middle and lifted him up to her chest. He purred and curled up in her arms, happy to see his mistress normal.

Hermione dug her fingers into his soft fur and buried her face against the back of his neck, closing her eyes.

There were a few silent moments as she heard Ron move away and with the books, obviously deciding to bring them to her some other time. His retreating footsteps faded and Hermione kept her face hidden in his tiger fur, rocking ever-so-slightly with the purring fuzz-ball resting his chin on her shoulder, eyes blissfully closed.

A few moments later she remembered where she was and blinked the glaze out of her brown eyes. She kept her face close to Crookshanks' ear and whispered "It's okay, Crookshanks... I won't go berserk on you..." The cat purred louder. She wasn't sure whether it was understanding her words or just hearing Hermione talk comfortingly to him.

She cuddled his warm body tightly to herself as she turned and headed back to her now bright bedroom, a dead look in her eyes.

* * *

Hope shining through a thick layer of cloud. Not much but some. Is Hermione learning to live without him? Getting used to a world without Severus. I know it's not what you want but that doesn't mean that's not what'll happen... 

Sorry for lack of Severus. I know it's not going the way you would like but then if stories went the way we wanted them to then surely they would be much more boring with no disasters to keep us on our toes?

Oh the necessary stuff!! Why can't I just send Hermione running back to Severus, denouncing any feelings of resentment or fear? Believe me, if I did not have my own plan set out strictly, I would be tempted to stray from this path and give it that fairytale happiness. Instead I will have to keep it this way. (Have to? Surely she's doing this for her own pleasure? – true.)

I like the Crookshanks part, personally. He kind of prevents her going mentally haywire and on another ranting of hate thoughts. I wish I could give you more but it'll have to end there for now. Keep reviewing – as I said I would have left this story without your nice comments (I still feel embarrassed about the beginning). Give yourselves a great pat on the back. :)

I'm totally obsessing over Severus Snape I have not justified him in the slightest with this story. Don't u all wish/dream of him? ('Standing still before him, looking slightly lost and he takes a step closer, keeping his eyes on yours. He lifts your face up to his with a slender finger under your jaw and leans down to kiss you...' DROOL!) I would like to do that sometime – a plot-less scene of SS/you. Original? Desirable? Or just too peculiar for ?

Anyway, have a good read. (This story is my biggest and I'm so amazed I managed to write so much! Wonder how much more it will take to complete the plot... because although the plan has not changed in the slightest, I'm shifting events around and chapters aren't turning out as I expected – either too much or too little so (according to my plan) I should have to write three extra chapter 22's...)

Those of you who read and don't review: (brief, cold hug) those who read and review: (extra tight warm hug and a big kiss on both cheeks).

Mwuah! (blows kiss) Snakecharmer (I feel so immature when I do that.)


	21. Burn and Cleanse

Chapter 21: The Comfort Spot and the Burning.

* * *

Leaving out the "so far"s from now on. 

"Lately I've been feeling down, I don't get around much anymore... So I just spend my time alone, waiting for the phone to ring... And I keep thinking of you, I miss the language that we speak when we don't even talk... - ... you never told me I would feel lonely without you, you're not supposed to make me cry... – And I never loved someone like this before... - I gotta stop thinking of you..." Anouk Stop Thinking

Ooh yay!! The HAPPINESS at LAST – well not immediately – any more depressing stuff and u know it would be absurd... so say hello to the end of an era. (Except why do I still feel miserable – o rite – no Severus...) Take note: a phoenix's song is supposed to strike courage into the good and fear into the evil hearts – how does Severus react to it. (I listen to a lot of slow stuff with these chapters – I dunno but it REALLY sets the tone – for example Metallica – Nothing Else Matters – really perfect, or Hello – Evanescence).

I know when I get a chapter I've been waiting for I tend to read it quickly and hungrily (sloppily) so it is downright hypocrisy when I advise you take your time with this chapter. Is this the end?! What a contrast this chapter is!

* * *

Peacefulness and serenity surrounded his sleep in a thick shade of soothing emotionless unconsciousness. When he was torn from it abruptly, he at first doubted whether it hadn't already been a disturbed and weak state of mind. 

He was pulled upright, with a silent gasp for air in the middle of the night. The covers fell from his chest and he bent over in the dark, staring at the sheets and realizing where he was, what was going on and why he had woken. He couldn't see anything but dim outlines of his bed and in the mirror on the wall, the silhouette of him perched forwards, long hair falling straight beside him.

It did not all come back in a horrid flood but in pieces for him to understand while he caught his uneasy breath.

Then came the realization... along with the guilt and emptiness.

There was a pounding sting like some horrible insect was pumping voluminous amounts of venom into the underside of his arm where the mark was burning from red to black. That dreaded mark, the cause of his destruction; everything he had ever lived for had been swallowed by this horrid mistake. Nothing he had ever said or done could take back the curse of ensued duty.

It was a summons.

When he grasped this, something in his mind slipped and he became detached from reality. All his next actions were halfhearted and automatic as he dragged himself from his bed, pointed his wand at the fire which flared up, and got changed into his robes.

Decimus, who Severus had completely forgotten, lifted his head sleepily to observe through slit green eyes as his master reached for a jar on the stone mantel. He let out an overlarge yawn of protest at such an early arousal and flatted his ears to his head. He refused to shift from his curled up position of warmth and comfort so was forced to attract Severus' attention by the only means left to him.

Severus had dug a hand into jar of floo and replaced it when he heard a loud mew from his bed. For a split-second his black eyes focused sharply as he spun round. The coiled ebony cat sat at the foot of the bed, looking up at him questioningly.

He released some of his tension by sneering viciously at the docile creature and growling through gritted teeth "What are you smirking at?" before he turned back to the licking flames and showered it with a pinch of pale green-silvery powder.

* * *

She actually shrieked in her sleep as she was painfully separated from her slumber. She tore apart from the replenishing state of mind feeling scared and in pain. Why, she couldn't understand. Her sound, sharp and earsplitting was trapped by her four walls and no one beyond the landing heard her cry. She was alone in the dark and what daylight she had seen in her dreams had dissipated into a colorless haze in her mind. 

Hermione's breaths were coming in pants but slowing quickly as she recalled she was sitting safe in bed, tangled in her sheets and hair forming a matted tangled brown pillow beneath her head. Solitude. It rained down on her as though from the skies and instantly she knew she was truly alone. She stopped struggling for air.

Breathing softly, eyes searching wildly in the blackness for some excuse for her abrupt awakening, she calmed her racing heart and noticed that she had began to break out in beads of sweat on her forehead and the back of her neck.

Another shockwave of whatever had woken her streaked through her again, as if to reveal itself to her confused mind. It was a ripple of electricity that stung so badly it felt as though the flesh was peeling away under the strain.

It ended as soon as it had come and Hermione found herself bent double, upright in bed, eyes pinched shut, teeth clenched as she gripped the bandages with all the strength of her grip. She gasped and let go as though the action had burned her in a completely different way.

Looking around her, half hoping, half dreading being intruded upon, she took large heaving gulps of air to restore stillness to her system.

She returned her thoughts to the throbbing pain of extents she could never managed to imagine from a simple mark. Severus put up with this constantly, without a word of complaint? It still was radiating a heat much worse than she had suffered the night this symbol had been imprinted into her.

It must be the call. It had to be. She had, in her wallowing, overlooked this small entailment... How could she? For as long as there was Voldemort, she would endure regular doses of pain whenever he so desired his dearest followers at his side.

She wanted to retch, the way she had retched when this pivotal event went underway. But she would not let herself fall so far. If every time there was a meeting she would fall back in that dismal pit she would never crawl out again in her right mind. She had to get over this.

In the darkness, her eyes adjusted piteously and gave her a dim outline of her arm. It hurt in ways one would never know.

Tentatively, she reached for the safety pin which held the strands of cloth together. She tugged at it lightly and when the amount of pain did not increase (though nor did it decrease) she yanked on it hard until it tore from the bandages with a satisfying ripping sound. The pin came loose in her palm and she dropped it without a care. It landed somewhere beside her on the bed.

Not wasting anymore precious moments, she scrabbled to tear away at the threads until the wrappings were nothing more than a pile of shredded mesh around her blanket.

There is was.

Glowing slightly in the dark she could just about make out the cursed mark. She swore under her breath at it as she grabbed her arm, around the tattoo to that it wasn't visible anymore beneath her own lethal grasp.

She heaved herself out of bed with all the spare energy she could muster. There was no way she was going back to sleep. This pain just drove everything from her mind. She would go to the kitchen, where the fresh bandages were kept about the cabinet. From there she would play it by mood. If she felt like returning, she would.

Slipping from her room, silently, she shut the door behind her and crept along the corridor, clutching her left forearm excruciatingly.

She managed to make her way through the blackness to the stairs and stepped down them carefully, so as not to arouse anyone else, and successfully managed to steal into the kitchen. The door swung closed behind her without a sound.

Her eyes, roving madly around her, deciphering what all the looming menacing shadows truly were, landed upon the sink.

She approached it and held her arm under the tap, releasing her hold on it. There were deep imprints where her fingers were as she brandished the mark, unabashedly in the dark and with her other hand twisted the stiff faucet until a harsh stinging, cleansing rope of icy clear water pelted down onto the pain.

It was unbelievably refreshing. The heatedness was neutralized – even numbed – by the flow now dribbling down to the sleeve of her pajamas rolled up round her elbow. She hardly noticed, closing her eyes to double the sensation, savoring the relief.  
  
She stayed there for an unknown length of time in the pitch blackness with her outstretched left arm exposed to the pounding water in the sink. It was only when she was certain that the throbbing and heat would not return that she slowly, regretfully, opened her eyes to look down at the mark.

As she pulled her arm gently away from the flow and rose it to the half light of the stars from the crack in the net curtains the water trickled coldly down to the tips of her fingers and dripped steadily.

A rising feeling in her heart told her she was calm and safe and could return to bed without another thought. But a little something in the back of her mind (little but powerful) convinced her she was past the point of sleep.

Her large brown eyes raked the room until finally she made out the cabinet in the far end of the room by the fridge, next to the only window. Sure as she could be, there was a bundle of fresh bandages waiting for her to use. 

Making her way into the moonlit area of the room, she lowered her left arm and raised the other to reach for the pile of cloth. But half way, in mid-movement, her outstretched fingers froze and retracted slightly. She bit her lip nervously as she hesitated and glanced down at the grinning heinous skull, baring its teeth and the vile snake protruding from its mouth. It was black but fading into a red rapidly.

She lifted her heavy head to look at the bandages and something made her draw back her arm. What it was that made her do it was unbeknown to her but it was more of an impulse than a decision. She looked away without another thought in case she would stand, torn for hours deciding what to do. It would be better to see the mark and accept that it was there.

**It was there.**

She shivered in the pale starlight and walked back over to the shelves above the dripping tap.

From them she dragged out a glass jar and cup and filled the jar with ice cold water with the intention of spending the rest of the night away in the first room she found with the discovery channel.

But the thing was, the second the glass jar had passed the lip of the shelf she could not remember anything until she found herself, tall cold glass wrapped in her fingers, slouched in front of the enormous widescreen cinema, leaning against a particularly large gold and scarlet pillow, heavy feeling of sleepiness crushing her chest and eyes drooping as she found herself staring at a particularly boring documentary about some nutter with a love for scorpions and was describing their good traits.

Hermione breathed deeply to shift the weight from herself but didn't manage to.

So there she sat, in the dark, with the enormous screen blaring colors of savannas and sweltering heats while Hermione drifted in and out of concentration, sipping occasionally and staring, staring unblinkingly.

And for many hours, though she lost track of when it had melted from a documentary on crawlers to plate tectonics, she was bathed in nothing more than the light of the television alone.

Slowly, very slowly, a dim glow poured into the room and steadily grew until it was the first light of dawn. The different light brightened her face between a fussy frizz of bed hair and revealed with more clarity the puffy redness of her eyes. Each blood vessel in her eyes stood out from a sleepless night before a cinema, gaze out of focus.

'Soon it will be light enough for me to study,' she thought dimly when she realized the sun was coming up, blinking some of the clear hue out of her eyes and regaining a slight form of awareness. Her frail frame what stiff and aching.

She shifted herself into a more upright position to wake herself up better and what should catch her wary gaze but the mark itself. It was as if her eyes could not keep off of it. She should never wrap it up ever again if she wanted to grow strong enough to return to her old life. The thing she knew in her heart, though she tried to convince herself otherwise, was that she could never truly have her old life back.

It was down to a raw red, a color she had never observed it as before and its huge empty sockets stared right back up at her from beneath her skin.

She stared at it. Staring was soon becoming her only ability, for she felt she could do nothing else.

The more she studied it, the closer the realization came that she was trying hard to overlook. She tried to tear her eyes away but couldn't. The enormous screen was pounding out empty facts and long winded explanations about the obvious and somehow she failed to hear a word of it while entranced by the foul symbol.

Eventually she accepted it: no matter what she tried to tell herself, she knew down to the deepest particle within her that Severus had suffered mortally tonight because of her... Because of him... Either way the thought held less comfort than it should have. She found herself worrying for his health. He should have gone to Madam Pomfrey... if he hadn't, which is what she could expect with a man of such pride, then he could still be dealing with the after effects. She knew the meeting had finished ages ago. How she knew, she could not tell.

Something dampened her cheek and brought her back to reality. She found her eyes watering badly and a horrid feeling in her throat and chest. It was as though someone had dug a hand between her ribs and was crushing her heart in its fist while the other hand choked her slowly. It was the most horrid feeling she could recall: the deepest sadness which somehow was more powerful than her own previous self-pity (something she had thought unachievable).

The crushing feeling did not go away and she buried her face in her hands to smother her tears.

* * *

Hours later, with the rest of the household waking, she had gathered herself together enough for nothing to be suspected of her early rise or its cause. She even smiled at them as they entered the kitchen one by one to find her settled at the far chair of the white table, cupping a mug of steaming coffee resting on the table. 

The coffee went cold in her hands without her drinking anything of it. No one noticed. Her spirits brightened in her friends' cheery atmosphere. If they had known and shared her gloom then she might as well retreat to her room. But the more she talked, the more she managed to push her early morning worries away from her mind and her smile became more and more easy.

It was obvious the others were elated by her apparent recovery and doing all they could to make her smile and she appreciated it more than they could understand.

Harry and Ron would openly tease each other for Hermione's enjoyment and Ginny was grinning away and readily insulting the two of them as well. Draco looked like it was taking all his self-restraint to bite his tongue.

Another cheering sight for Hermione was the fact Ginny and Draco were sitting together and whispering to each other in undertones while Harry or Ron engaged her in conversation. Hermione's weariness slowly left her bloodshot eyes and the sleepy heaviness eased, though unforgettable traces remained.

But, considering what happened only a few hours ago, it had to be one of the most enjoyable breakfasts she had ever had. Maybe it was because of recent events that everyone in the room found the morning to be so pleasurable.

Hermione found the thing that completely topped it was Ginny's brightly lit face as she stifled giggles and Draco's small smile and how Ginny was back to full spirits. It made her shattered heart feel ready to burst with joy that it looked as though she may very well get a clear shadow of her old life back.

After breakfast (which lasted about an hour after the food was finished) Ron asked her to follow him, with the remains of a grin on his face.

She followed with curiosity and Harry followed as well to see what Ron was talking about.

He led them through the downstairs hall and to the base of the stairs, which they climbed in order, Hermione still in her pale turquoise pajamas. Harry, behind her, kept shooting inquiries at Ron who ignored him like a fly.

They walked down the landing side by side, Hermione in the middle. She was still with messy hair, not having yet bothered to fix herself up, but Ron and Harry were both dressed up in neat robes.

They finally stopped at a room Hermione could not remember (then again she could hardly remember any of them) when Ron held out a hand. Harry raised his black brows at the door.

Ron shoved it open and both Hermione and Harry leaned closer to get a better look at the room. It was unremarkable in comparison with the rest of the house. Towards the back of the room were armchairs and tables (which compared strikingly with Trelawney's attic) and another screen against one wall which did not spread its full length.

Ron went in and both followed, sharing a perplexed look.

* * *

Severus had had it. Depression and wallowing had left him for all it was worth and now he was filled with bitter anger. He was angry at Lucius, at Dumbledore and most of all at himself. Lucius he would deal with later, and take the deepest pleasure in it, but for now, since he could not quite understand how he would yet deal with himself, he would deal with Dumbledore. 

Dumbledore: the wise know-all who's judgment was valued and hardly ever wrong. Why had something so flawed managed to escape his sharp eye? Had he intended something like this to happen? Had he deliberately tried to split the two of them apart when presented with the perfect opportunity? To say the least, Severus was paranoid and at the point of raving.

He stood outside Dumbledore's office door with the most putrid black glower scarring his face as he rapped sharply on the wood.

He had tolerated physical torture until he had been left with nothing more than an occasional twitch in his side. How much longer he would suffer pointlessly he could not stand. Pain did not humble him. Pain angered him.

The door swung open of its own, revealing Severus standing stiffly, tall and clad in his long flowing black robes, rigid with rage.

Without waiting for invitation, he stormed straight into the oval room, pausing only to slam the door shut behind him. It banged angrily off the wall and swung right back at him. Dumbledore was looking up from a half written document with a long eagle quill balanced loosely in his fingers and a knowing look in his eyes.

"This has gone on long enough! You have been trying to destroy me for too long and I have just sat by allowing the worst to fall through in a self-pitying daze! I won't tolerate any more of this. I thought you trusted me to some extent, Dumbledore, though it be small. I demand to know Hermione's whereabouts!" Severus barked, striding right up to the desk and looming over the old man. Dumbledore was unfazed enough to not even blink. He had been expecting this visit eventually.

"Severus," he said calmly and evenly and infuriating Severus even more as his shoulder muscles seized up, "I trust you with my life. I am not her secret keeper so I cannot give you her whereabouts. It is her decision..." Severus' sharp black eyes glinted dangerously.

"Then you will go and talk to her and explain," he ordered bluntly, straightening a little, commanding a sense of power. But a little uncertainty filled his voice. "I can't see why she would not want me to speak for myself..."

Dumbledore paused, looking at Severus compassionately while he glowered straight back. He knew this man had been through more than anyone should and having to explain things to him was the last thing he wanted to do.

"She is wary, heartbroken and afraid," Dumbledore explained wearily, pushing his spectacles further up his crooked nose with a long finger. Severus blinked coldly finding his statement to be more than obvious.

"Afraid? She has good reason to be afraid now she has been marked by the dark lord himself," he said impatiently and was confused when met with a sad look of pity on the old man's face behind his long silver beard.

"No," he said quietly, stroking the mustard bird's head with one hand and not catching Severus' eye, "She is afraid of you-"

"What?" he thundered "Why do you say that? Have you seen her? Did she tell you so?" All his words were in quick angry succession and he glared at Dumbledore with all the spite within him.

"Severus calm yourself. You will get all your answers." Severus settled himself huffily and sunk abruptly into the nearest armchair, arms laying on rests. He tapped his slender fingers on the edge of the rest with his right hand, scowling darkly at Dumbledore, waiting for an answer. "I have not seen Hermione herself-"

"Then you have no right to judge!" he spat. Dumbledore overlooked the malevolence with ease and gave Severus a penetrating blue stare which Severus readily returned with one of his most feared gouging stares.

"When I visited the house she was either asleep or in no state to be disturbed but from what I have been told her torment comes not from the mark but from what she considers the deepest betrayal... Ronald Weasley told me of how he had had a peculiar conversation with Miss Granger in which she told him of what was truly irking her..." Severus' anger melted with his hunger for information but his glare stayed strong.

"When was this?" he snapped.

"About a month ago..."

"And what did she say?" he probed, feeling furious at Dumbledore for not illuminating enough. His fingers had stopped tapping the edge of the chair, which was now suffering his powerful claw-like grip. He tried not to give Dumbledore the satisfaction of dangling information before him like bait and forcing him to degrade himself... or reveal himself. Either way, one was just as bad as the other.

"_That_ is confidential to Hermione. She did not expect him to tell even myself. But I assure you it would be for the best if you did not see her, for she might attack you..." Severus sat silent and stunned. "She is convinced that she never really knew you and it would be better if she recovers of her own. Seeing you would stir up old emotions that she is trying to teach herself were wrong. It might well be her destruction. I'm sorry Severus..." Severus stared blankly at Dumbledore with raven eyes like he didn't, couldn't comprehend what he was saying. "I think it would be better if you let Hermione move on..."

What was Dumbledore saying? Severus needed to take a moment to think what he asked would entail. His mind kick-started and reared into action. Possibilities and explanations were flying through his head.

"Surely if she is so distraught it means that there was something deep? I can't just let her go," he said, brain working fast.

"There may well have been but if there was then now it pains her," he said with an odd firmness to his tone. "No matter how deep it goes I feel that it would be too much to ask to have what you once did back again. I know you agree, Severus..." Fawkes, perched on Dumbledore's desk, let out a horrid queer note that rippled right through him and left him feeling more confused than he had already been.

"I agree," he said very slowly, forebodingly after a hesitation. Dumbledore was watching him with concern and possibly grim pride. "This is my fault, isn't it?" He looked pointedly at Dumbledore, daring him to deny the truth.

"Severus," he begun, sadly, "It will always be more my fault than yours because I had the possibility to see flaws in a plan that a creator is almost certain to overlook. I could have prevented it and it should have been obvious but somehow my old mind must be failing me..."

Severus hardly heard a word Dumbledore said. He was looking somewhere around the clawed foot of his desk but not truly seeing it. His black eyes diluted and his hold on the chair was down to nothing and he could hardly recall feeling this... weak.

"What must she think of me?" he muttered, deathly quiet. Dumbledore had plenty of room in his heart and felt incredibly for the wreck of what was never more than a proud shell of a man.

"I hear she still worries on your behalf... and if the feeling is mutual then it will do you well to know she has begun to emerge from her hiding hole..." Dumbledore said kindly, continually stroking Fawkes which trilled horribly.

He did not know what he was feeling when those words registered themselves. Deep within him some kind of clash or battle of emotions was playing tricks with his heart. Hermione was recovering. It struck up some kind of warmth to his cold insides. She was better off without him. And with it the warmth turned meek and soggy.

It was his fault; if he had never allowed anything to happen then neither of them would be like this. How foolish of him to allow her to get mixed up with himself in the first place. Numbly, he made a mental note to be more reclusive in the future.

"Severus," Dumbledore spoke quietly, giving him a piercing look, "Don't do anything rash... I trust you," he reiterated with that firm warning wrapped cozily within a compliment.

"Don't do anything rash..." he echoed darkly, avoiding Dumbledore's eyes. "What more is there for me to do when I cannot see Hermione?" Dumbledore chose to ignore that certain comment, not wanting to plant ideas.

Severus knew it was time for him to go. He forced himself up by the armrests and looked around the bright circular room sourly as he stood.

"You are strong. I know you will be alright..." Dumbledore said encouragingly as Severus turned his back on him.

"You're jesting..." Severus said meekly with nothing but hope backing his sarcasm.

* * *

Ron's mystery turned out to be nothing more than a playstation. He had been trying to figure out how to work it for weeks and had finally achieved his goal the previous day. Both she and Harry had laughed outright when Ron explained. It turned out he had officially been turned into an addict, like so many others. To quote his words: "Those muggles have been holding out on us..." 

Harry humored him by challenging him to several games and Hermione watched from a squashy armchair. When Harry begun to tire of it, Hermione sportingly agreed to play a game, at which she lost spectacularly, to Ron's absolute delight. He had found another thing she wasn't perfect at.

Harry, grinning at Hermione for loosing so badly, found enough desire to take over again after her at her protests at how pointless and mind-numbing games like these were.

Both men, sitting cross-legged in their robes nudging each other's shoulders when the other lost and grinning and laughing amused Hermione to no end. She could observe her two friends for hours. They looked no older than eleven with identical smiles lighting their faces boyishly and that classic carefree air. Severus, though still in her thoughts, became of less importance when she reasoned. How would mourning him make her move on? It wouldn't. She had to forget him. She was trying, unsuccessfully, true, but achieving more than she had before.

She was channeling some of their light mood and was elated but this did not show entirely in her face. It didn't need to for boys to understand that she was rapidly regaining her charisma and zest.

But the incident of the playstation (which lasted until lunch) was minute compared to the way the household spent that late, hot August afternoon.

"We have a pool?!" Hermione echoed in disbelief when Ginny had spoken to her (in the process of shoving Hermione down the landing at the back). Ginny gave her another hearty push and Hermione tripped a couple of steps forward and continued to look over her shoulder at Ginny's freckly face.

"We do," Ginny beamed and Hermione stubbornly tried to stand her ground when Ginny pushed her by the shoulders again. "Will you move?!" she snapped with mock impatience. Hermione blinked and yielded to the request, allowing herself to be chivvied along the hall to her bedroom.

Ginny had a bag slung around her wrist that continually knocked Hermione's thigh sharply and she eyed it curiously as they squashed through her doorway into her bedroom side by side. Ginny herself had her hair tied back in a high ponytail, excluding her bangs and wore a cheerful expression, as though about to get something she had been looking forward to.

Hermione, once deep enough within her room to have her own breathing space, turned to face Ginny, who had taken the bag off of her wrist and was now opening it before her. Her whole appearance clashed horribly with the blood red wall behind her.

She dug into the bag and her hand must have closed on something she had been searching for because she looked back up at Hermione's lost looking expression.

"I knew you didn't have one so I got one for you as well..." she said, pulling out the subject of conversation from the bag. At first sight Hermione thought it was nothing more than a fistful of some latex material but turned out to be a red bikini. Hermione raised her brows at it skeptically and gave it a mild look of disgust. "Don't look at me like that. I'm wearing one too!"

Hermione dropped the expression but continued to look skeptical.

* * *

She was even more skeptical minutes later when she was changed into what she considered practically nothing and had forced her frizz into a ponytail. Ginny had reappeared in her room moments later, changed into her own white one. Hermione looked down at herself and then back up at Ginny with a stubborn frown, at which Ginny stepped forward, caught her by the wrist and dragged her away down the stairs, pausing only to collect a couple of beach towels hanging on the banister. 

Hermione felt disinclined to jump into a pool, leaning towards a cozy nap in her warm dry bed.

She let Ginny lead her, without complaint, by her right wrist down, out through the back glass sliding door by the kitchen and down a paved path which led around the corner of the house, out of sight. Hermione looked around in wonder – forgetting her outfit entirely. It was a hot day, the final burst of sunshine before autumn started to creep up on them. The leaves were that darkening green on the trees which lined the edge of the large lawn at a distance. The lawn itself was grand and nothing compared with the size of the forest beyond it. She wanted to explore it but when barefoot and in the clutches of an enthusiastic Ginny, that was virtually impossible.

She watched it longingly until they rounded the sun-warmed bricks that marked the corner of the house. Once it was blocked from view she looked back to Ginny, who had slowed, and saw the reason.

"Oh..." was all she could say when she saw the enormous pool, tiled with dark blue tiles that gave the water a dark crystal effect as it rippled under the hot breeze that was attacking Hermione's skin. It was sunk deep into the ground and reached depths she could not see and three heads were already sticking out of the water, the clear liquid dripping down from their soaking hair on their faces. All were watching her, only slight smiles and each of their eyes on Hermione's left arm.

She noticed their gaze and flushed slightly, hiding her arm behind her back as she and Ginny stopped by the edge of the pool, lukewarm water licking their toes tantalizingly.

Their eyes grew serious at the sight of the mark. Until now they had only seen it on her arm on that eventful night. It had only been that morning when she had removed her bandages and she had made a point to unroll her long sleeves of her pajamas before they entered the kitchen. They hadn't known she would not be wearing the bandages and were caught off guard.

Draco was the first to recover, mainly because of Ginny's presence and her... attire. Ginny, unblushingly, let go of Hermione's wrist at last without looking back at her.

She took a couple of steps back from the pool and Hermione watched with halfhearted interest. She had not noticed the coldness in the warm air under the humid yellow sun. She look a running leap forwards and tucked her legs into her chest just in time before she hit the water with great noise and disappearing under a tidal wave of water which splashed Hermione up to her lower thighs and some of the grass around the path. Hermione recoiled from the sensation but it seemed that the men had gathered themselves enough to fake ignorance of the mark.

The noise disturbed a murder of crows that had collected on the grass nearby and they all took off at once, cawing loudly in a rustle of wings.

Ginny's head broke the surface of the water again and she flicked her sopping ponytail out of her eyes. Flecks of water spattered the other three and Ginny turned back to Hermione.

"Come on! It's not that cold," Ginny urged, motioning with her hand for Hermione to follow suit. Hermione raised her brows doubtfully. She had no intention to jump in like her. Harry and Ron were now beaming at her and nodding their agreement to Ginny's words. Ron's hair was distinctly darker when wet.

She compromised by crouching down and slipping her legs into the water, which, true to Ginny, was hardly warm. She then pushed herself off the edge and sunk into the water and Harry and Ron had already disappeared under it. Hermione wondered how quickly she could escape as she treaded water.

But, realizing she wasn't about to be let off so soon, she began to swim a little.

It took a grand total of ten minutes for the three males to bore of laps and they all stopped in the shallows, looking at Ginny and Hermione swim. Each of them shared the same unspoken idea but didn't dare utter it in case it would be improper to play so rough.

Once both girls had come to join them in the shallows, which were actually deep enough to reach their necks, whereas for the men it only reached about their chest, temptation overwhelmed them.

It was Draco that actually started what was inevitable. All three men were bored and what could be more entertaining? He caught Ginny around the middle, and catching her totally by surprise, she did not retaliate as he lifted her, as though she was light as a feather right out of the water. There was a look of uncertain shock on her face as Draco smirked evilly and threw her right into the air where it seemed as though she was frozen for a moment, arms flayed, before she crashed into the tepid water with time for no more than a squeak of surprise.

Harry and Ron were grinning at Draco with something that resembled gratefulness and he nodded at them. It was like a silent thank you shared between them.

As Ginny came back out of the water, sputtering and blue eyes wide in shock, Hermione could not help laugh.

Her laughter was cut off abruptly by a pair of strong arms wrapping themselves around her waist in the thick water at which she gasped.

"Think it's funny, do you? How would you like it if it happened to you?" Harry said impishly into her ear with mock seriousness and Hermione shrieked as he lifted her clean out of the water, trailing streams through the air. Ron jeered and laughed. Draco was busy in pursuit of Ginny who had seen that moment as a chance to escape.

Harry did not drop her like Ginny but instead pulled her back down into the water which felt cool and fresh against her skin, with him and held her under for a few seconds before releasing her. She thrashed about in his grip and when he released her she pushed through the water until she reached the hot air. Breaking free and blinking water out of her eyes, looking around in the bright light. Harry and Ron were laughing together and Ginny was as well.

She had swum quite far away but paused to watch Hermione and her giggles cost her dearly because Draco caught up with her the next moment and pounced on her. Her sounds died as she was dragged down with Draco into the deep water with a last look of disbelief and desperateness.

Both reappeared. Draco was holding Ginny in his arms by a hand at her back and under her knees. She was clinging onto his neck for dear life as though it would save her and water ran down them. Ginny spat out a long rope of it and Draco watched her like an executioner at the gallows, giving her the opportunity to speak a final word in her defense before carrying out the deed.

Ginny opened her mouth angrily and Draco raised his brows as though he wasn't about to listen to a single word she said.

Hermione grinned and Harry and Ron smirked mischievously.

"Draco Malfoy, you filthy little rat!" Ginny started furiously and sternly, sounding identical to her mother, "Don't think you are getting away with th-"

Splash!

Draco had cut her off in mid-sentence by leaning back into the water suddenly and pulling Ginny with him because she was clinging so tightly to his neck. Her last word was drowned by both water and laughter. Hermione failed to stifle a bout of chuckles. The two others were for some peculiar reason subdued in their snorts and snickers.

Harry's emerald eyes were glinting and so were Ron's blue and both of them turned to look at Hermione again, both with identical expressions that read: 'Are _you_ looking at _me_?'

Hermione thought it would be worth it to try and flee their clutches safely and so quickly turned and made for the far end of the pool. Harry and Ron mutually decided it would be more sporting to allow her a head start and watched her swim away for a few moments before following. Both men were much more strongly built and would have caught up with her easily with their ability to plough water had Hermione not been intercepted.

She had actually touched the far side of the pool with her outstretched fingers before a rough hand caught her ankle tightly and held her in place. She clawed to try and get a firm grip on the edge but didn't manage before Draco pulled her back with one hand with ease. In his other arm he held a struggling Ginny to his hip.

She could hear the two other boy-like-men stop when they noticed their prey had already been caught.

Hermione knew they were far too strong for her and was less inclined to protest other than verbally when Draco dragged her through the water backwards right into the reach of Harry and Ron.

"Nononono!" she half groaned, half pleaded as Draco handed her over to her captors.

"Why thank you, Draco old pal," Ron said with a false posh accent as he got a firm grip on Hermione's other ankle. Hermione let herself float, scowling at the retreating edge of the pool, wet hair clinging to her face.

"Not at all, my good friend," Draco said likewise with a short nod and Hermione felt herself being pulled back to the shallows while Draco returned to his hostage who had taken to laughing weakly every time she tried and failed to loosen his pincer-like grip around her shoulders. But all in all she was putting up a terrific fight and Draco was starting to get red claw marks along his arm from her scratches.

Hermione continued to scowl as she was dragged backwards and could not see where the others were, though feeling them each holding a different ankle. Suddenly she stopped moving and the rush of water around her that kept her afloat, stopped and she almost disappeared under the water hadn't she been scooped up most uncomfortably by Harry.

The air was much cooler the second time she was pulled out of it as it dried on her skin and Harry's black hair was damp and remarkably flat. He grinned boyishly at her and Hermione opened her mouth desperately, as he shifted her slightly in his arms, like Ginny to let out a string of verbal protest.

Ron had stopped on her other side to block the main means of escape and making it further impossible to avoid a good dunking.

"Harry, don't you dare! No! I'll get water up my nose!" she said wildly looking pleadingly from Harry to Ron who both had their brows raised at her, then shared an amused look between them. Hermione was not about to follow Ginny's mistake and refused to hold on to Harry despite the feeling that she would accidentally slip right out of his grip.

Harry had begun to grin wickedly but Ron looked as though he was trying really hard to feign sincerity. Harry lifted her up higher but Ron held up a hand to tell him to stop.

Harry's grin faltered with slight confusion. Ron, to show that all was still fine, mimicked the wicked expression.

"Hold on a minute, Harry," Ron said, moving the dripping hand he held up to reach for Hermione's wrist. She didn't protest as he took her left hand in his own, out of curiosity. "We can't have a lady in discomfort..." Hermione's jaw dropped sardonically. He lifted Hermione's hand up to her face and took her forefinger and thumb and pinched them over her nose for her, implying she should do the same. She kept her fingers in place when he took his hand away. "We are gentlemen after all," Ron said reasonably.

Hermione found it hard to snort when pinching her nose and settled for exclaiming instead: "Gentlemen! Ha! You two little rascals don't know the meaning of the word!" Her free right arm flayed a little in surprise as Harry deliberately threatened to drop her but picked her up again at the last second.

"That wasn't very nice," Ron tut-tutted with mock disapproval. He took a couple of steps back in the water and Hermione eyed him warily over her hand. There was a loud splash behind her and she tried to twist to see but Harry wouldn't let her. Though, it was obvious Draco had gotten Ginny again from the gurgled shriek of laughter.

"Hey Ron," said Harry suddenly, making Hermione look up at the underside of his jaw. Ron looked back at Harry with apparent mild interest, as though he had been thinking of other things. "Catch!"

Hermione gasped as she was thrown bodily into the air in Ron's direction and the sensation made it feel as though something heavy had been dropped into her stomach. Drips flew from her as she began to sink rapidly and she knew that any moment she would be gone under the surface of the water but to her surprise, Ron reacted fast enough and she felt herself gently caught and the scary sensation in her stomach settled slightly. She was cradled in his wet arms and still had a hand over her nose.

Ron was smirking roguishly and Hermione tried to let go of her nose and get a hold on his neck, like Ginny had, deciding that being dragged beneath water was much more tempting then flying through the air again.

Before she could even release her fingers she was lowered then flung up into the fresh august air like a spring and collided with Harry's bare chest, who caught her somewhat more roughly than Ron had.

She was too busy trying to follow exactly the same plan on Harry, by getting a hold of his neck, that she didn't see Ron look innocently into the sky and take a big step to the right with an ignorant expression.

Harry was too quick for her and ripped her free of the water again and physically chucked her in the direction Ron was supposed to be standing with a huge grin. Hermione still had the hand on her nose and caught a glimpse of his expression before she hit the water with complete shock, having expected Ron's arms to be there to keep her from dropping.

She sunk out of sight and a heavy ripple of water washed over the two laughing men.

Hermione's head broke free a moment later, spluttering and she lifted her hands to wipe the water out of her eyes. Ron, when he had enough space between snickers to force the same sincere look, gave her his... 'apology'.

"Oops, sorry Hermione," he said, trying to sound apathetic but his lips twitched uncontrollably, "...missed..." he shrugged. He grinned at her playfully and Hermione in return scowled good-naturedly in a way that meant 'you know I will always love you, you little brat'.

And, though she didn't know it at the time, _that _was the first moment in months Severus had been entirely driven from her thoughts.

* * *

The next day saw Hermione (and the rest of the household) in an incredibly cheerful mood. She grinned at everything that walked, including the squirrels. She was dry once more, and grateful for it. 

With free time on her hands, she had finally had a chance to get her wish and after breakfast (which was just as long as the one the previous day) she had collected a good book from her bedroom and informed the others of where she was planning to go, in case they panicked.

She was about to, at last, explore the open spaces of the bright looking forest (which looked a lot brighter than the Forbidden Forest).

She strolled along the paved path until it stopped, then kicked her way through the bright green grass, blue robes dragging her down and book clutched firmly in her hand. Her hair had been restored to its old curls expertly for the first time in ages and it gave her heart that extra lightness that accompanied the reflection of feelings in appearance.

A smile refused to remove itself from her lips, not that she tried to. The fun she had had the previous day was still on her mind and she felt unbelievably cleansed, as though if dunked enough in the water of the pool, the water would have magical healing properties. Her mind was fresh and clear of poisonous thoughts.

She grinned at a couple of snails dragging themselves across the dirt between blades of grass.

She entered the edge of the small wood and kept going until the grass slowly began to disperse and thin. She continued to walk until the end of the lawn was definite and the only thing covering the dry earth was bracken.

She stopped, looking around her and breathing the scent deep into her lungs. There was a large oak to her far right, a little deeper into the forest and it looked perfect to lean against.

She approached it and put out her free hand onto the smoothed bark, checking it weren't too lumpy and deeming it perfect she smiled and withdrew her hand, turned and settled herself cross-legged at its roots drawing her book into her lap and letting it fall open.

She found it perfect to the shape of her back and the ground to be sufficiently warm and firm under her and was ensconced in a matter of minutes. Her nose buried in the pages of her book, she hardly noticed the time fly and when her stomach let out a hearty growl she broke her sentence in surprise to see that it was already lunchtime.

She gave a regretful look at the base of the trunk as she picked herself up and returned straight away after lunch.

And 'her' tree fast became her comfort spot... for the next two years.

* * *

Ooooo. Two years? What do you think this means? Is this the end of the story? Was this the bad ending I told you about? Hang on! Where do you think you're going! It might not be finished! 

There will definitely be another upload (so stick around) but I will not say whether it is the epilogue or another chapter – you'll just have to bite your nails until then (am I sounding a little mean right now?) Sorry if they are a little OOC in the last bit but that scene was based (somewhat subdued) on my peculiar summer which was a mixture of deadly dull on some days and over exciting/fun on others. Let me tell you, it is not half as fun as it seems to get dunked – though you tend to laugh a whole lot more (I dunno why... I think it's a reflex reaction or sumthin like that...)

IF u r curious... I actually attempted fanart... okay... I have NO talent to draw but the two pics look relatively human! Which is more than I can say for anything else I've ever drawn before. If you wanna check it out this is the website:

Shh! The second picture is based on this story (although I cannot master curly hair – it is of Hermione outside the gates (VERY SIMPLE) – there was Severus but I had to cut him out – if u saw the drawing u would agree).

Review – I _really_ appreciate them! Those of you who have already reviewed – ur too nice!! Theories and opinions always interesting to read.:P

:p See u next upload.

Snakecharmer.

PS: i only just, yesterday, finished this chapter in bed and have no idea when the next will be up because workload is mounting. Should I have given this chapter to u later?


	22. Space and Time

Chapter 22: The End of the War

* * *

Sorry this took so long – after uploading the latest chapter I did not touch my documents for about four weeks – mainly because, as I predicted, school and trying to create an active social life has taken plenty of my time and even when I have a spare second something else has been on my mind, other than the delicious Severus... I am clearly obsessed and by what it should be obvious. Severus has been haunting my shadows rather than my day for a full three weeks and counting. This is both positive and negative – isn't it healthier to live in reality? He (the infatuation) actually puts me off writing (not verbally – just I don't need to anymore). I may have written more for reviews but... well u can guess well enough.

But how can I keep away from writing? As I said, I can never fully leave fanfictions. I stayed away for a year and came crawling back last time – so this story WILL be completed – unless I die (insha'allah that won't happen) but they will take longer coming – which I think is fair because we are approaching the end. (Well... I dunno what that means to u but to me it still means plenty more writing).

* * *

Two years... too long...

To smell the musky scent of the old stone walls and walk down the endless corridors once more... at last she was home.

Two years! She had bared this aching weight for two years. It seemed longer. It seemed shorter.

To say that her 'recovery' was completed that summer was a lie. She had never truly forgotten, though she had gained the ability to ignore. Her smile became more forceful, more powerful but her eyes grew older with every month.

She refused to take a bitter outlook on life, refused to let it get the better of her and become a stronger woman for it.

She took a deep breath and the northern air reached her lungs like a blessing. She would be home in moments.

How her life had been altered from the path she had assumed it would take on leaving Hogwarts. The moment she was separated from this building her life had fallen to pieces. It should keep them together again now she had clumsily repaired them.

She smiled to her chest. Her head was bowed, her large scarlet hood up over her curled brown hair, hiding her face from prying eyes. No one was there to stare but she did not want to be seen just yet. This was a private moment. This moment was hers to savor – when she first saw her old home where she had grown up.

She didn't lift her gaze from the dewy dark grass she treaded flat until she was sure she was close enough.

Her worn brown eyes fed off her fond smile hungrily, deprived of the youthful carefree attitude. There was a distinct sadness that she buried and it showed.

Two years...

Too long...

_...Her heart was pounding in her chest with strained worry. She paced stiffly and quickly up and down the kitchen, alongside the table at which Mrs. Weasley sat in a rocking huddle – unable to force out tears under the weight of fear. Hermione could not comfort her; her own frustration and agitation made her too tense and it was impossible to find words of comfort that did not speak their mutual fears. _

_Her countenance was misted over with anxiety. She was useless and there was nothing she could do about it. _

_She sped up her pacing. _

_Grimmauld place was a horrible situation to wait in worry for news of that which you dread most. She wanted to revert back to her old comfort of smashing things within her perilous reach. She itched to but wouldn't cave in. _

_Diverting her frustration to tears and vigorous pacing was all she could do. _

_She was furious that she had been excluded. She was willing to die for the cause, more than ready. This was her time to prove her worth and knowledge in the final battle between good and evil. She had been trapped for almost two full years in her hiding and she could never possibly have entertained the idea that when this day came she would remain locked away! _

_She paused her pacing to violently stamp her foot on the grey stone slab floor and continued. _

_Mrs. Weasley let out a noisy gasp and Hermione ignored her. The reason she had gasped made Hermione freeze in place, her heart pounding harder than ever and each nerve tingling with dread. _

_The door had burst open in the hallway. _

_It was a wild scrabbling race between her and Mrs. Weasley to exit the kitchen first and Hermione skidded out into the hallway, hoping against hope that her fears weren't realized. _

_Mrs. Weasley pushed her aside roughly when she froze to see for herself, making her almost fly, due to her weakness. Her eyes snapped open wide and the strained tears stopped flowing in pure shock. _

_Mrs. Weasley shrieked. _

_Standing before them in the half light was a crowd of people looking worn and at the point of collapse, covered in blood and limping from spells. In the half light of the hallway, now joined by Mrs. Black's screams of protest, Hermione could make out the two figures ahead of the rest of the group._

_Harry, eyes closed and panting softly was being supported by an old looking Dumbledore in dark starry robes, practically resting on his shoulder. It did not look as though he could stand by himself. _

_Propping up his other elbow from behind him was Ron who looked incredibly ashen faced and serious, stained with a huge puddle of blood that dripped steadily from the sleeve of his robe. _

_Mrs. Weasley would have most likely crushed the last of the life out of the standing men had she not been crying uncontrollably for happiness and had to rest against the wall. _

_Hermione raced forwards to meet them and Dumbledore did not object when she pried Harry out of his brittle grip and took him into her own arms, finding a new strength within her to support the two of them. She held him up so his face was close to hers and looked him hard in the eyes. He blinked back. His emerald eyes were glazed with pain and exhaustion but they were alive._

_Hermione was overcome with such joy she began to kiss every inch of his face, smudging the dirt with her tears. Dumbledore gave them a weary smile and turned to leave. Discussion and explanations were for other times. Now was the time for relief and recovery. He swept back out through the door and no one noticed him disappear swiftly. _

_Hermione was now crushing Harry's weak body in a tight hug and sobbing against him. A pale Ron and his sister who was even paler came forward to rescue their hero from an overjoyed Hermione. Normally it would have been Mrs. Weasley that would have about killed him in her tight embraces but she was still struggling for air through her happy sobs into a handkerchief. _

_Hermione didn't want to let go of her dear friend but when she looked up and saw the two relieved, tired, battle-worn faces she almost dropped Harry and obliged in handing him over to Tonks and Moody who were the only other people who had returned along with the Weasleys and Harry. Bill was limping off with Charlie towards the kitchen but Hermione hardly noticed. A fact that she would later learn was that the others were either at Hogwarts awaiting Dumbledore or in St Mungos recovering serious curse wounds. _

_But in her selfish state of happiness she didn't care who had been hurt or how many casualties there had been because her dearest friends were still alive. They were okay. _

_She hadn't noticed the lack of Draco's silent presence. _

_Moody and Tonks caught Harry between them and proceeded to lead him after Bill and Charlie, followed by the drawn-faced twins who were now honored by Harry's mere company. _

_Faces thrown by the half candlelight, the twins paused to reconcile their mother into getting up and following them into the kitchen with Harry which wasn't that hard to do. _

_Hermione stared up at the siblings that belonged to the group of her best friends and with tears shining in her eyes and Mrs. Blacks screeches filling their ears, embraced both of them at once tightly and broke down against them..._

Her world had not been shattered.

But it was less than two months ago that the end of Voldemort's reign had come to light, and _now_ she was returning to Hogwarts. Why her heart wasn't as light as a feather and her step a light skip had a simple answer to it: Hermione had grown up. She was aged and saw the world with a serious knowing that made her appreciate the fact that just because Voldemort had gone didn't mean the world was perfect once more. It had never been perfect to begin with.

Voldemort had claimed so many lives but not of those closest to her and so she should not have been able to value their sacrifices the way she did as though they had been dear to her too.

But as she scuffed her way through the lawns up to the castle all she could think was that some things in her world would never change.

Her first two years of Uni had been completed in the confines of a mansion/house and the magnificent grounds which she would miss more than anything, including the pool.

The mark on her arm had long since faded after that night. It was amazing to think that something so seemingly permanent could fade away so quickly. The memory off its clarity faded with it like the memory of pain does.

And now...

Her thoughts of apprenticeship's entails were interrupted most violently when she felt a piercing gaze on her face shadowed beneath her hood.

She looked up and her breath hitched in her chest.

* * *

It had been the most painful kick in the groin he could imagine...

Start of term feasts always depressed him and now more than ever. Though he was eternally relieved from the dangerous duty of a spy and "happy" at the death of the Dark Lord, he still loathed life. Students who were overjoyed and returning with light hearts would mean much more work and a lot more endless chatter about the Boy Who Lived, recently re-titled nothing more than: Our Hero.

The buzzing talk would swamp his precious thoughts more than they had in twenty years tonight, he could feel it already. His prowled up out of the dungeons with a glower strong enough to kill you twice, if expressions so had the power to induce death. Luckily he did not face any students in the halls yet. That would start as of tomorrow.

Any student at Hogwarts who had been there three years or more would tell you that something had happened to the bitter Potions Master two years ago that had made him more vile, repulsive and caustic than he had been before. Anyone who had not observed this change would argue Snape could not get worse than he was but worse in behavior he had become.

He hated students more than ever and never wasted an opportunity to give them hell which gave him a cruel sense of satisfaction.

The first and second years (which, once they returned from the Hogwarts express tonight, would be second and third years) had heard tell of some student Snape had fallen in love with and she had loved him back but something happened and she was never heard from again. Of course they hadn't believed it! How could they even consider that cold black-clad man to have feelings or even have them returned? It was beyond perception.

Some of the tales were pretty wild and some were near accurate but either way they just made Severus more furious that he should be discussed to often in student chit chat. It was a mockery to his very existence to be part of their mindless conversation!

He rushed up into the Grand Entrance, black cloak billowing out behind him and he stopped abruptly at the base of the marble steps to observe the flow of brainless zombies filing into the Great Hall so that his cloak swung round the base of his raven robes. His black eyes, sharp and narrowed, glinted malevolently as he watched the laughing students amble past in clumps. They were ignorant to his scowl or paid him no mind.

He had been just about to grudgingly join the flow in the direction of the hall, as was his duty as a teacher, when his attention was caught by an unfamiliar sight. By unfamiliar sight, it was a person who he had not seen before and did not fit in with the main crowd. It was most definitely a woman. She was heavily cloaked and hooded and it looked as though she had been walking through the lawns rather than riding in the carriages with the students. There were grass stains all around the hem of her scarlet robe.

He folded his arms across his chest as he would often tend to do when contemplating a mystery and kept his ground firm, preferring to observe this new person.

She had a mournfully heavy walk for someone who had seen the end of the war not too long ago and the need to hide her face aroused his curiosity.

He could not see her face clearly but caught a glimpse of a few chocolate tendrils of hair hanging about it and a shine where the bright light reflected from the candles of the Great Hall hit her eyes.

He had seen this woman before.

He frowned harder in concentration at where he might place the distinctive shape of her eyes or the few locks of hair when she raised her face to look into his eyes.

As mentioned above, it had been an untimely, unwarned and fairly painful kick in the groin.

He didn't need a second moment to recall where he had seen those almond eyes or those brown curls. He knew her instantly for who she was but also saw the shadows and changes in her face that he had not seen in the face that was so well imprinted in his memory.

Hermione.

And around her wide, appealing innocent-looking eyes had been ravaged by pain and distraught and touched by age and wisdom. Her expression wasn't light but drawn close to her bones. Her ringlets hadn't changed.

He had not been prepared for this.

For two years all he had longed to see was her face. So many words he wanted to say to her and at the unanticipated blow of the sight of her all recited words failed him.

It was unbelievable he managed to maintain composure because he felt as though every single last measure of breath had been drained out of him.

He saw, through his haze of shock, her eyes fill suddenly with old emotions first of desire, followed by a horrid blend of pain and then both feelings were wiped from her expression which darkened poisonously. She glared at him with a hatred he could never hope to match.

"_You_..." she hissed threateningly. His blood ran cold at the way she addressed him, even though he had been mentally preparing himself for this repeatedly. She truly hated him... he could see it.

Hermione wanted to melt and die right on the spot. How could she have been so stupid as to assume he had died in the attacks? He was like a cockroach... he couldn't die even when he wanted to. How was she to survive the next three years with him in her presence?

And, most of all, why wasn't he in Azkaban for all his crimes?

* * *

There it is.

I'm so stupid aren't I? Go ahead and scream at me! I feel guilty because apart from the first paragraph, I wrote this whole chapter tonight (now when I saw whole chapter...). I'm sorry it's so small but this is where it was supposed to stop anyway. I know, I know. I should update more, or write more.

I have been so busy! I love my life though so please be happy for me. You know, if I got more reviews I would write more often. I'm serious! Don't think I'm blackmailing or anything because once the reviews for the last chapter stopped (which they did pretty quickly) my writing stopped until I decided tonight that it was ridiculous.

But, like this chapter, the next ones will be a while. I'm getting a life people and I like it. I don't ever want to leave this wonderful country with such wonderful people! I also just bought an electric guitar – which I'm taking up. I'm not completely new at it because I used to do Spanish guitar for two years, years ago but I hardly remember any of it, just how to hold a guitar and read music. So now I just need lotsa music, lotsa practice and ill be happy! (in short this means writing time is even less – reserved for when I go online to chat at night).

But, I _did_ promise this story would be finished and though u may have worried about this chapter coming up at all, I did do it.

So buckle up for a wait (but it may be a short wait, I dunno, now I'm back in the swing of things). But review please! They really make me happy and encourage me to keep writing rather than other stuff.

Lol, im seriously not blackmailing u!

Snakecharmer (hangs head guiltily for late chapter).


	23. chapter 23 taster

YES ITS SHORT!! I know u've already noticed but there u go - its only part of chapter 23! SORRY! read on to find out why

Cookie crumb of Chapter 23: The hate of love.

O

So sorry yet again, but I did warn u. I know, I should be hung up on a stick and left for the vultures but these past weeks have been the most eventful (and still slow-paced) I can recall. I suppose I used to write to relieve myself of thinking of Severus too much. I could pour it all into my writing and breathe easily but now Severus is not what haunts my mind... don't worry I will always love him etc. all that. But when u find something real it's so much more confusing and wonderful and I completely hate it – especially when u can question their sincerity. (surprisingly, that is not the inspiration for this chapter – I've had this plan since august.)

"Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end/Just like a memory, it twists me/Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end/Twist... twisting me" – AFI (stands for A Fire Inside) – Celluloid dream – go look up the lyrics for it – they're amazing! Its pure poetry the whole thing! All their stuff is... I have now definitely finally found my favorite artist.

To tell the honest truth closes eyes and waits for slap I completely forget about AF! Totally forgot... this summer I found it hard to tear myself away from a computer... now... I still find it hard to tear myself away from the computer but for different reasons (u know, as much I would love to get into great detail of this long story – almost as long as this one – I won't deprive u a second longer – its not like ur reading this anyway...)

O

It struck a chill to his marrow. His whole flesh was consumed by shivers of nonexistent pain. He had never been stung by an insult but her voice did strange things to him.

He could not move, despite the overwhelming urge to step forward and either shake her violently by the shoulders or kiss her. Could the woman not see how she had burned him? He knew that wasn't the correct order of things, he had burned her and suffered for it but humored his temper with lies.

"_...what are you **doing** here?_" she continued when he made no move to speak.

The confrontation between the stranger and Snape made several heads turn in curiosity. Severus spared them a few dark glances which sent them scuttling off to the great hall.

"I do believe I work here..." he said it and then it was too late to take it back. He was giving her the tone he would give a misbehaving student. This did more damage than he liked to consider. Hermione flushed angrily. This had confirmed her suspicions of how little she had meant to him that he could just dismiss her like anyone with his snide retorts.

"You belong in Azkaban with all your friends, or..." she stopped herself before she outright wished him dead.

"Hermione-" he began, attempting an apology for his comment to appease her. He took a step closer to her back she took one sharply backwards and cut him off loudly.

"Don't you ever refer to me by my first name ever again!" she spat, temper rising along with her voice. A few people began to stop and stare in blatant nosiness. She had a fiery rage smoldering in her pained eyes and Severus felt it prudent to back away slightly for both the stares and her possible actions which he had misjudged terribly before.

"Perhaps," he said in a soft calm voice that held enough edge to it for appearances sake, "we should go to my quarters to discuss things. If there is to be a confrontation, here is the worst of places-"

"Ha!" Hermione burst out in a sarcastic hysteria. There was a collecting crowd now that were failing to look as though they were just moving very slowly to the Great Hall. As she laughed, her hood slipped back off of her head and curls.

Following the sight of her face, there were a few loud gasps from the older students.

"I don't know why you try to defend your reputation, _Severus_," she snapped spitefully, feeling the deepest of revolting twisting inside her. She was furious with herself for letting his brooding menacing sight get to her. "It was never the most wonderful of reputations..."

Severus tried to force a stern glare onto his features under their watching eyes. "That was uncalled for," he began icily but as Hermione began to swell indignantly he continued in softer tones, "and I deserve far worse..." There was a small moment, affected by his gentler voice, where they locked eyes and all retorts and hatred deserted her.

"Hermione Granger?!" gasped a rather impudent and obtuse Dennis Creevey. It was enough to bring her back to earth.

She looked around at the faces – there were so many. She hadn't seen more than five at a time for the past two years and their attention was slightly intimidating.

She turned back to Severus, looked him hard in the eyes, less openly than a moment before, and lifted her chin.

"Maybe your quarters would be preferable for a conversation of this sort..." she said frostily and brushed past him towards the dungeon. He cast a dark glower over the sea of peering faces which had given up pretences. He then swept after her, close on her heel and heart pounding deep within his chest.

O

"Did Miss Granger arrive safely?" Minerva McGonagall was in a fluster and had asked that question repeatedly in the past ten minutes of the welcome feast's start. She leaned over her food to get a better look at the open doors into the empty Grand Entrance. All students had been seated, all words had been said, minus an introduction of Hermione, and the food had appeared before them.

And their returning student had not shown her face.

Dumbledore had a deep-seated unease that he knew exactly where she was and didn't want to consider the difficulties that would result amongst certain members of staff this year.

He turned to McGonagall with a benevolence and weariness in his tone.

"Minerva, my dear, have you taken a look at our staff table?" this was the most information she had been able to extract from him all evening. She blinked behind her square spectacles and shook her head.

Dumbledore closed his eyes and swept out a weathered hand slowly to imply she should do so.

She followed the direction of his fingertips, past to familiar colleagues and then her eyes fell on an empty chair. And it was not that of any ordinary staff member either. Severus Snape had not shown up for the welcome dinner... and neither had Hermione... and it clicked smartly into place.

"Oh! My god, Albus! This isn't good!" she panicked and in a flustered movement, forgot composure and her food entirely, pushing herself back from the table to stand.

Dumbledore laid a hand on her arm quickly and she hesitated long enough to fall prey to his penetrating blue stare. Using unspoken words McGonagall was made to calm down and settle herself in her seat again, but her eyes flickered uneasily around the room.

"Hermione can take care of herself, Minerva. This has been held back long enough..." McGonagall didn't answer but bitterly stabbed her chops with a fork.

O

Im so sorry – keep a look out – I will replace this chapter with the full thing but for some reason every word is a pain to get through. So it may be a while (cough, sound familiar?) but I had to give u guys something soon or else that would be just mean of me – this is all I've got down. – its not as long as I expected it to be – there will be a confrontation for those biting their nails. But what will be the outcome – I feel snotty in saying that I'm the only one who knows  
  
but...

Im the only one who knows!!!!! NAHNAHNAH!!! – sorry... uncalled for.

I cant wait to get to the ending, not only is it the END and no more AF – but I should enjoy writing it.

So keep looking for when I replace my author's drivel with more writing.

Sorry once again – u can never apologize enough.

Snakecharmer. – I love u who reviewed – thank u thank u thank u – now I don't expect any for this – as its only a piece of a chapter. This is either to whet ur appetite or quench ur thirst – read it however u please.

PS – ill leave u with this much info – though Severus no longer haunts me – a pair of black eyes do! Ssh!(and a very sexy smile - he knows i think so, i told him so- which is weird because im not the bold kind of person...)


	24. THE FULL CHAPTER 23! at last!

Chapter 23: The hate of love.

O

I can't believe myself for being so evil. I'm so sorry! I even forgot the whole storyline and then I read through the outline I created so very long ago and my heart melted at the thought of the last two chapters (that's the next two). Whether that's a good or bad thing I mustn't say… damnit… and I want to so much! smiles smugly.

IM BACK! Ooo yea…… feels so good…. deep inhale and exhale. Well I won't go into details about why exactly I suddenly felt back to normal and ready to tackle anything, followed by a powerful urge to write which I haven't had since before... I promised not to go into that. Anyway... thank you a million times for reviews - :) – they are ALWAYS appreciated. (no I haven't been to an AFI concert – but I'm dying to and its on my list of "Things To Do Before I Die") (And true love isn't bliss when it's unrequited – to a guy that is emotionally detached and refuses to believe anyone can care for him).

The keyboard looks so beautiful... (haha). Eventually (cough cough - already) u see I can be irritating when not writing fiction. Maybe I'm not irritating... just... odd... nope, its irritating.

Enjoy your FULL cookie!

O

It struck a chill to his marrow. His whole flesh was consumed by shivers of nonexistent pain. He had never been stung by an insult but her voice did strange things to him.

He could not move, despite the overwhelming urge to step forward and either shake her violently by the shoulders or kiss her. Could the woman not see how she had burned him? He knew that wasn't the correct order of things, he had burned her and suffered for it but humored his temper with lies.

"_...what are you **doing** here?_" she continued when he made no move to speak.

The confrontation between the stranger and Snape made several heads turn in curiosity. Severus spared them a few dark glances which sent them scuttling off to the great hall.

"I do believe I work here..." he said it and then it was too late to take it back. He was giving her the tone he would give a misbehaving student. This did more damage than he liked to consider. Hermione flushed angrily. This had confirmed her suspicions of how little she had meant to him that he could just dismiss her like anyone with his snide retorts.

"You belong in Azkaban with all your friends, or..." she stopped herself before she outright wished him dead.

"Hermione-" he began, attempting an apology for his comment to appease her. He took a step closer to her but she took one sharply backwards and cut him off loudly.

"Don't you ever refer to me by my first name ever again!" she spat, temper rising along with her voice. A few people began to stop and stare in blatant nosiness. She had a fiery rage smoldering in her pained eyes and Severus felt it prudent to back away slightly for both the stares and her possible actions which he had misjudged terribly before.

"Perhaps," he said in a soft calm voice that held enough edge to it for appearances sake, "we should go to my quarters to discuss things. If there is to be a confrontation, here is the worst of places-"

"Ha!" Hermione burst out in a sarcastic hysteria. There was a collecting crowd now, that were failing to look as though they were just moving very slowly to the Great Hall. As she laughed, her hood slipped back off of her head and curls.

Following the sight of her face, there were a few loud gasps from the older students.

"I don't know why you try to defend your reputation, _Severus_," she snapped spitefully, feeling the deepest of revolting twisting inside her. She was furious with herself for letting his brooding menacing sight get to her. "It was never the most wonderful of reputations..."

Severus tried to force a stern glare onto his features under their watching eyes. "That was uncalled for," he began icily but as Hermione began to swell indignantly he continued in softer tones, "and I deserve far worse..." There was a small moment, affected by his gentler voice, where they locked eyes and all retorts and hatred deserted her.

"Hermione Granger!" gasped a rather impudent and obtuse Dennis Creevey. It was enough to bring her back to earth.

She looked around at the faces – there were so many. She hadn't seen more than five at a time for the past two years and their attention was slightly intimidating.

She turned back to Severus, looked him hard in the eyes, less openly than a moment before, and lifted her chin.

"Maybe your quarters would be preferable for a conversation of this sort..." she said frostily and brushed past him towards the dungeon. He cast a dark glower over the sea of peering faces which had given up pretences. He then swept after her, close on her heel and heart pounding deep within his chest.

O

"Did Miss Granger arrive safely?" Minerva McGonagall was in a fluster and had asked that question repeatedly in the past ten minutes of the welcome feast's start. She leaned over her food to get a better look at the open doors into the empty Grand Entrance. All students had been seated, all words had been said, minus an introduction of Hermione, and the food had appeared before them.

And their returning student had not shown her face.

Dumbledore had a deep-seated unease that he knew exactly where she was and didn't want to consider the difficulties that would result amongst certain members of staff this year.

He turned to McGonagall with a benevolence and weariness in his tone.

"Minerva, my dear, have you taken a look at our staff table?" this was the most information she had been able to extract from him all evening. She blinked behind her square spectacles and shook her head.

Dumbledore closed his eyes and swept out a weathered hand slowly to imply she should do so.

She followed the direction of his fingertips, past to familiar colleagues and then her eyes fell on an empty chair. And it was not that of any ordinary staff member either. Severus Snape had not shown up for the welcome dinner... and neither had Hermione... and it clicked smartly into place.

"Oh! My god, Albus! This isn't good!" she panicked and in a flustered movement, forgot composure and her food entirely, pushing herself back from the table to stand.

Dumbledore laid a hand on her arm quickly and she hesitated long enough to fall prey to his penetrating blue stare. Using unspoken words McGonagall was made to calm down and settle herself in her seat again, but her eyes flickered uneasily around the room.

"Hermione can take care of herself, Minerva. This has been held back long enough..." McGonagall didn't answer but bitterly stabbed her chops with a fork.

O

She felt him behind her, brooding and menacing close over her shoulder and scowled as hard as she could, trying to force bitterness and ignore him as a presence. Her hands were shaking as balled fists and she kept them hidden in the long sleeves of her robes and concentrated on breathing normally and trying to slow her heart rate.

The two of them rigidly walked down the torch-lit corridor. The tension in the fine cool air thickened and pulsated.

Seeing the leather couch still there by the fire, never transfigured back into the original two winged high backed armchairs, made it impossible to look away. No specific memories leapt out at her but her mind fogged in a smudge of emotions and multiple colorful images.

She realized she had stopped moving when a pair of hands rested lightly on her shoulders from behind.

She quickly moved away from the touch but there was something in her that regretted the action. She couldn't turn around to look at him, couldn't find the strength in her to yell, so she weakly moved over to couch and smoothly sat herself in the corner of it, with her chin in her palm. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding.

Two years! And not even a warning of this happening. He was supposed to be dead... Her heart gave her a painful sting in reply to that thought. Ok... at least in Azkaban... Her heart only gave a weak squeeze of protest and she satisfied herself with that.

The crackling fire cast a dancing glow across their drawn faces. Severus stayed back, silently, observing like a still shadow as Hermione watched the flames with glazed eyes and tried to collect her thoughts and logic.

The silence was not uncomfortable, but heavy and seemed to last a second when in reality it spanned out to about 25 minutes of pure silence and held poise.

He was waiting for her to scream and yell at him. She was waiting for him to coolly tell her that she would have to pull herself together if they were to work together and they were never to bring up anything that had happened: they had never spoken out of the classroom.

He watched the side of her face, half obscured by her hand, with a piercing gaze. He could not read her. She seemed sad, but otherwise unfazed – or she was frozen in fear and struggling for thought – or she was stewing and stirring her anger with every second silence and nursing her hatred for him.

Maybe all three. And there was nothing but the flickering... She looked so much older... his fault.

Suddenly Hermione seemed to snap and cave internally. She curled herself up into a small ball in the corner of the couch, pulling her knees up to cover her face and hugging them furiously. She didn't appear to be crying though.

Within her, her heart was doing back-flips and she felt the world close in from all sides.

"I can't get it to stop... make it stop..." she mumbled to her knees so softly that Severus could distinguish no more than a few sounds.

She closed her eyes, more aware than ever of her eyelashes and the sore stinging behind her lids. She took three slow long breaths to ease herself and, with a sigh, uncurled herself from the corner...

Severus knew the silence had to be broken.

"How do you propose on staying here three years in my presence and not expect to cross ways?" he asked softly yet darkly. Hermione felt a flicker of bitterness.

"As much as I can wish for it, that appears to be out of the question," she retorted snidely, not taking her eyes away from the fire. "So..." she paused, "I suggest we clear things out of the way, leaving no unspoken tension..." Severus stiffened.

"I see..." he muttered, averting his gaze away from her. "In that case I would like to make certain that you are aware of a few things..."

"Such as?"

"Such as I never intended for you to be dragged into the dark sides' dealings or to be made one of the circle..." Hermione snorted thickly, still refusing to pay him a glance. Her heart betrayed her and raced wildly. She had never considered she would hear this argument. She assumed he wouldn't deny his intentions.

"I don't buy your bullshit," she spat with finality.

"It is not "bullshit"," he growled in frustration, taking a step closer. "And I resent that no one ever told you otherwise seeing as Dumbledore himself was aware of my plan before I took you to the Dark Lord-" Hermione forgot how fascinating the fire was and jerked around, dropping the hand that supported her chin.

"Dumbledore knew what you were going to do!"

"He may not have liked the idea but he concluded that there was no other way..."

Hermione shook her head and tore her eyes away from his again and returned the fire, giving him the shoulder. "I don't believe you."

"It's not a question of belief..." he said calmly, continuing to approach her at a tedious rate. Slowly advancing silently on her, he stopped over her shoulder, trying to catch her forestalled gaze. Still careful not to touch her he leant close to her ear. Hermione's free hand slipped into her inner pocket. "Don't think there hasn't been a moment when I haven't wanted to kill myself for what I put you through? A moment when I haven't ached in a way I would normally have despised to admit? A moment where I didn't realize what I had thrown away-"

It happened too quickly. Hermione had ripped out her wand in a flash but Severus' reflexes were intact and in the span of half a second she had her wrist held above her head in a pincer-like grip with her wand in her fist. There were angry tears budding in her eyes and her teeth were gritted to hold back a wince at the bite of his fingers.

She hesitated only a moment avoiding his eyes before she struggled to pull herself free of his grasp. He let her go almost at once for fear of bruising her and she withdrew roughly.

Kneeling on the sofa, she looked a perfect wild mess in his eyes, of beauty battered.

"You **_bastard!_**" she shrieked. "I didn't come here to have you try and ensnare me again in your poisonous traps!" She aimed her wand at him and stumbled off the couch flawlessly. He simply stood his ground, watching her through an unreadable look while she retreated hurriedly. He knew better than to follow her… he had learnt his lesson by now about hysteria.

So he just watched her leave, heart consumed with pain.

But it was just emotional pain. He had gotten used to it by now. He could live like it wasn't there.

Tomorrow... he would give her time to cool and then... and then he didn't know...

O

Hermione broke out into a run as soon as she cleared the dungeons, streaking right past the Great Hall with a sudden loss of appetite. Her heart was racing at a hundred miles an hour and the wound stung like a dried flesh wound that had been rashly split open, oozing vile putrid juices and burning like acid.

She fled down past the kitchens in the direction of the Hufflepuff house and begun to slow as she realized she didn't know where she would be sleeping.

She snuffled quite pathetically and wiped a couple of unwelcome tears roughly away.

Stopping completely, she felt so lost and helpless that she felt no shame in sinking to the floor and hugging her knees once more as though they would save her. Mentally she cursed herself for her lack of strength and vengefully started to fabricate fantasies of what she could have said that may have been more suitable.

"Miss is lost?"

Hermione started nearly out of her skin in surprise, having depended on the fact she was alone.

She looked up hurriedly and laid eyes on a curious looking house-elf whose bulbous eyes were round with worry.

"How come Miss is not up enjoying the feast?" she prodded squeakily. Noticing the startled expression the elf proclaimed smartly "I is Wigma the house-elf, I is. I heard someone walking and wondered why they was not at the feast. They must be lost, says I." Her ears pricked up and she smiled proudly in her little toga-robes.

"Oh, Wigma..." Hermione said, relieved and seeing her chance. "It's a good thing you came. I'm not hungry, but I would like to find my chambers… but I do not know where they are..."

Wigma's eyes bulged.

"Ooh! Ooh!" she squealed, gesturing at Hermione's countenance and hair, "You is Miss Granger!" Hermione nodded and felt grateful for the recognition. "We house elves is hearing many things about you!" Hermione's heart sank again, reflecting on moments before. "I knows where your chambers is."

Hermione felt a slight feather of relief lighten her heart.

She eyed the elf with shinning eyes of gratitude then did something that would horrify Wigma and that she would never speak of to another soul. Hermione reached for her and gave her a thankful squeeze of a hug.

O

In her new chambers, Hermione had thanked a stunned Wigma and sent her back to her kitchen where she was meant to be helping with the feast but she refused to watch Hermione go hungry and promised to return with a tray of food she would leave at her desk.

Her room was not particularly large, being just the right amount of cozy without being cramped. It was perfectly square with a door to the bathroom. One corner was home to a massive oak wardrobe with drawers beneath. The wall beside it revealed a large window between it and the bed, a traditional princess' dream with pulled back drapes. The other wall was covered from top to bottom with books. She suspected Dumbledore had had a hand in it. The final corner adjacent to the door held a fair-sized desk perfect for long nights with a quill.

What caught her eye was something shaking on the bed.

The luggage she had sent ahead was waiting for her on the bed and one wicker basket was quivering.

Hermione shed her traveling robes and threw them over the chair at her desk before hurrying over to let her furry familiar loose.

She did the clasps and Crookshanks leapt out. She scooped him up for comfort.

"Crookshanks!" she exclaimed and he good-naturedly put up with her embraces which he would normally wriggle free from, for he had missed her too.

She lay back with him on the bed, abruptly overcome with a wave of exhaustion and Crookshanks settled on her stomach under her arms, purring loudly. Under the moonlight, she fell into an uneasy slumber.

Her reveries were invaded by a raven blackness.

O

TWO LEFT! Well... I used to judge when it was time to end a chapter depending on it's size but for these last chapters... I don't expect them to be much more than this length at most.

I'm so excited! The end is near and this time I really mean it! Now off I go to write the next chapter!

Love any of you who are still interested (and if you can still remember the plot 'cause I didn't... _blush_),

Snakecharmer


	25. The END

Chapter 24: Sleeping cats.

O

OMG I AM SO AWFUL. I completely understand how I broke a promise and I should be punished (but not too severely?). I suffered a broken heart to deal with before I left and didn't touch my computer to finish the story. Thinking the 6th would inspire me to write again I waited until reading it and... sobs into hands. I'm thinking of writing the whole seventh year myself to last me until the real book comes out and making the best of a bad situation.

But anyway, back to this story, which, instead of having two chapters to go, I decided to squash them into one to make up for it and now my work is complete!

O

Hermione crawled out of bed, to the sound of a hassled meow of a cat being disturbed. Leaving the warm sheets for the chill of the morning air, she flung open the arched window. Her first morning back and she found herself dreading her first breakfast at the staff table.

She lugged herself into the shower, dried her hair in curls, sighed as she slipped into her robes and made a mental note to never let her eyes leave her plate, come hell or high water.

She swept down the marble staircase, hand on the banister and new plum robes dragging. Memories threatened her. She refused to let them swamp her.

At the table she mentally cursed her heart nonstop as she resisted the desire to glance at Severus, whose gaze she could feel avidly pinning her down, as well as many faces in the hall. She even recognized some of them. That would have been unbearable enough without the half the staff casting her sidelong looks as if they were trying to figure out what she was thinking.

She hung her head and played with her food, not really feeling like eating.

Whispers spread across the hall in hushed uneven waves and she pretended to eat.

She left before anyone else, having forced down enough coffee to keep her running for a good while.

Once she was out of earshot of the Great Hall she hid her face in her hands then ran her fingers through her hair to claw the feeling out of her. Her broken heart betrayed her. A wound so old could still be reopened.

With a frustrated sigh she raised her head and her brown eyes fell upon something in the hallway ahead. Crookshanks and a black cat (and, ain't life a bitch, that cat seemed awfully familiar). Her gaze flickered over the two cats. Both being of stubborn nature, the idea of Decimus and Crookshanks getting along seemed farfetched enough but to actually both be curled up, basking under a sunbeam together, against the wall... And yet there they were perfectly comfortable as though they had always been friends.

Taking tentative steps towards the two, Decimus raised his head to acknowledge her and gave her one good look-over with his sharp eyes before laying his head back down to return to dreams.

Something brushed Hermione's cheek, causing her to flinch, when she realized it was a tear and that her eyes were brimming with them.

She blinked them out harshly.

With determination to read more than her crowded head could handle, she turned and made for her oldest refuge: the library.

O

"And, Miss Pumblechook, pray tell, _what_ do you call _this_?" Severus hissed, his voice a deathly quiet whisper that held the whole class mesmerized. All eyes in the dungeon classroom fell on an unfortunate fifth year who was shrinking in her seat, unable to look into the black eyes that burned with a fire today that awed the class.

The room seemed cold, even for summer and almost all students had received death glares, even the Slytherins, to everyone's horror.

He exhaled silently, looking around the whole room. Everyone shrank under his poisonous black eyes.

"It seems that four years in this classroom have done nothing to improve your knowledge of potions even in the slightest..." he breathed with contempt and swirled round and swept back up to his desk, black cloak following behind him. The students stared as he sank derisively into his chair and returned their stares all malevolently.

No one dared speak, although they shared confirming glances, each silently verifying the rumors.

Miss Pumblechook, who was a hard working student, always aiming to please, took his comments all too personally and was reduced to tears. Her neighbor leaned over to comfort her but she shoved her stool back and ran from the classroom leaving her friends to collect her stuff for her.

Pretending nothing had happened, he proceeded to continue in his criticisms and icy threats.

The class morale when they left the room was at an all time low as they slugged out through the wooden door under Severus' malicious glare.

His endeavors had done little to lighten his mood. All he could see was her face behind his closed lids.

A vicious headache threatened to overwhelm him and he grudgingly decided that he needed to spill his thoughts to Dumbledore completely, openly hoping that this would cause them to leave.

Touching the wood of his desk thoughtfully, he gathered himself and stretched to his full height, a glazed and lost look in his black eyes as he walked around his desk in the torchlight and slipped out of his classroom. He felt dead. Usually he took in everything he saw with extreme alertness. But now, more than ever, he felt like he was walking through a dream.

It is said that the eyes are a gateway into the soul. He was quite willing to accept the idea that his soul had fled from his eyes and retracted into a small niche deep within him.

Startled out of his reverie by almost stumbling over his own cat (another painful stab), he blinked and looked down. Decimus had curled himself around Severus' robes while he had been walking (for lack of a better word – he hardly strode when he was feeling this deflated). He was pursuing Severus' gaze with his slit emerald jewels.

Severus said nothing and watched as the cat moved away, disheartened. He was followed by an orange cat, which he could not understand missing, as, in the gloom, he stood out well. He knew the cat to be Hermione's.

Looking about him, making an effort to grasp his whereabouts, he realized the cats were heading into the library. Sure enough, the library corridor came into light: the stone walls and high windows, the paintings and suits of armor.

He cursed himself and his heart for its foolishness as he followed the cats into the library on a whim.

As soon as he had entered the library he stopped. The sight of the books and the tingling sensation of all the knowledge that was trapped in these walls granted him some of his acute awareness back.

He followed the orange cat's tail as it whipped around a shelf and stealthily kept his distance until they entered the area near the back with tables and chairs for working at. Severus hung back and watched as the two cats, an odd pairing, tip-toed over to a table laden with books that seemed to threaten to spill over the edge.

The few other students in the room (all NEWT students with free periods) were casting sidelong glances at the table, feigning indifference.

There, bent so low over her book her nose almost brushed the words, Hermione sat. She didn't appear to be reading at all, much rather lost in her own whirlwind of thoughts, though trying to seem as if interested in the contents of her book.

Decimus leapt up onto the table gracefully, shadowed by Crookshanks. Both cats chose open books and curled up back to back for extra warmth, on her table.

As he watched her from the end of a bookshelf, the raging torment in him seemed put out, suddenly flattened by the sight of her and all he knew were love and sadness for knowledge of her hating him.

Without thinking things through, he stepped out into open view and approached Hermione silently from the rear, not even causing a ripple in the air to sense him by.

"Hermione, please..." Severus implored in a deathly quiet voice that none other than she would hear. Hermione jerked straight up in her seat and he saw her shiver in slight.

He moved to stand over the seat next to her on the round table. Hermione's cinnamon eyes were wide with sleepy surprise and confusion and he saw her damp cheeks glistened under the soft light. She had been silently crying. If Madam Pince had known it was over one of her books, she would have had a fit.

Pretending to only just realize who it was she returned to staring blankly at her book and tried to sound both firm and nonchalant but only sounding shaky when she mumbled "Go away."

Severus gently retrieved the book from under her nose to give her no excuses for evasion.

"You can't avoid me forever."

His tone was soft and coaxing and he felt eyes turn towards him in shock from nearby tables.

"You can't possibly apologize enough to make me ever forgive you..." it made something sink in his stomach although he knew it was a fair statement.

"I know," he said quietly with deep regret lining his tone, "but I still love you," he added firmly, watching her closely, unblinking, "and I will do anything you ask of me to ease the pain."

Hermione's lip seemed to quiver as though it was all too much for her to handle. She reached for the book Severus had moved down the table and slammed it shut, stuffing it into her bag.

"Then leave me alone!" he voice an octave higher. She grabbed random books and started shoving them all hurriedly into her sling-bag. Severus watched remorsefully, feeling the moment of hope flicker and die but trying not to let anything show in his face other than the slightest of suggestions he was disappointed.

She flung her bag over her shoulder, her chair made a loud screech as she stood and, as an afterthought, perhaps, or just because she wasn't thinking straight, she caught Crookshanks round the middle to take him with her.

The cat growled his lack of consent and dugs his claws into the open pages beneath him.

Hermione dropped him as though he had burned her. She collapsed into her chair, bursting into tears or frustration, anger, confusion and pain.

In a final stand for a remaining shred of dignity, she tried to hide her tears behind her hands.

Severus stepped forward and gripped her wrists gently with his pale long fingers. Hermione didn't shake him off, but rather froze slightly.

Carefully, and especially gently, he removed her hands from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot from the hot tears strewn over her cheeks but she had stopped crying and was watching his every move closely.

She felt a guilty pleasure in looking into his eyes. They still mesmerized her, though they were the cause of her nightmares.

There were several long moments where nothing happened: Severus kneeling on the floor before her, still holding her wrists, their eyes locked, their faces close and completely unaware of the many held breaths around the room.

Abruptly he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

Hermione felt an explosion of feelings inside her: shockwaves of relief and calmness. When he pulled away, she gasped for air which filled her lungs mercifully. Her eyes dropped to the carpet.

He straightened to stare at her acutely.

The whole library was in awe at what had just happened. Not one mouth remained closed. But no one dared breathe too loudly for fear of interrupting the scene.

"Do you want me to leave you still?" he asked calmly and quietly.

Hermione raised her gaze to rest on him. Although his features remained deceptively calm, she could tell there was a mixed amount of hope and fear behind his eyes and she felt her throat clog at the sight.

She had to look to her books to regain her speech.

"Yes, I want you to leave," she mumbled, not looking him in the eye. Severus' blood froze and something sank inside him. She could sense him shrink and he relinquished her wrists, preparing to leave.

He was just about to raise himself up again, suffering a returned dreaminess to his sight, when Hermione was the one to catch him by the wrist. He was rooted in place and the rest of the room held their breath.

Hermione turned her face back to his, eyes level.

"But don't..." she managed to choke out. Severus felt flooded with warmth as he stood and helped Hermione to stand too. The students saw him smile without restraint or malice for the first time in their lives and once they were both standing, Hermione threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I missed you so much..." she sobbed, only this time with pure happiness.

The sensation of having her in his arms, pressed against him once more made all his fears and exhaustions melt away under her affection.

The others in the library (even Madam Pince, who could be seen behind a bookshelf, peering out) erupted into cheers abruptly, startling Hermione and Severus.

They looked around the room in astonishment, then at each other and seemed to read each other's mind.

Placing a firm arm around her shoulders, he led her away from the irritating crowd of students, who seemed to be finding their lives highly entertaining. Hermione was leaning into him as they walked away, tears still crawling down her face, a mixture of relief and confusion at her own actions. But, as a consolation for herself, she took in a deep breath of his scent.

O

"I only needed you to heal me the whole time," Hermione purred and planted a small kiss on the underside of his jaw.

She was curled in his arms in his study, a book in her hand that, quite unlike Hermione, she wasn't paying much attention to. Severus was keeping up the same façade with a closed book at his side.

Hermione had returned much to her former self, although one might even see an improvement in her happiness. Even Severus' classes were tittering to themselves about how the Potions Master was less unbearable than he used to be.

"I think this was how Dumbledore wanted it..." Severus considered. The headmaster had somehow managed to evade the two of them at every attempt they made at questioning them, but seemed always more than happy to be there to congratulate. "It fits in with his crazy notions about love and interference... barmy old codger... I think he could have saved us both a lot of pain."

"You never know," Hermione reasoned into his neck, "it might have been fated to happen that way, saving the lives of those in the house with me..." Hermione speculated the possibilities then stated stubbornly "I'm still not going to talk to him for a whole year though."

Severus just smiled and stroked her hair, too contented to think of unpleasant memories now that his life had become perfect. He knew every moment was one worth savoring because when life is perfect, it's certain not to last.

Hermione seemed to suddenly shift in posture at this thought and he regretted his feelings as though he had reckoned too soon.

She gazed up at him with an expectant look.

"You promised to tell me about Stella one day," it was one of Dumbledore's style of question, disguised as a statement. Severus eased.

"I'm sure you would have liked her, and she you... She was there for me when my mother was murdered by my own father, and when he disowned me... but of more importance, the night where..." he swallowed, trying to find the right words, "everything went wrong... Lucius Malfoy revealed the true sinister nature of her death... She was poisoned for her lack of support for the Dark Side."

Hermione gasped. Two losses in one night? She gave him a squeeze and kissed the skin of his neck, which made him shiver. The touch was more than welcomed... but so alien, just the same.

There was a long comfortable silence where they simply sat in each other's arms and Hermione sighed in contentment.

Breaking the hush, she sat up, her face close to his.

"Say you love me."

"I love you."

O

omg...

THE END!

It's finished!

blink blink

it's my first FINISHED piece over 200 pages long (just two pages short of three hundred but I wasn't going to drag it on to reach that mark).


End file.
